Talk to me about tandem nursing

[Elizabeth86]

I have bf all my babies up until about2 months before the next one came. I have always liked the idea of tandem nursing, but my body has never really been on board. My body just does not care for the old baby nursing. I really really really want togive it a shot this time. I am worried that dd will be super jealous as she is already over everything, soI thought letting her continue to nurse would be good for her. So, do just keep right on bf thru pregnancy or do wean and just let the old baby start nursing again after the new baby gets established with nursing. Any tips or advice are appreciated.

[eternalsummer]

I have no advice as I've never tandem nursed, but I do have about 16-20 months between kids, and I wean at 12 months so there's enough time for the older to really forget about nursing as such.

 

 

[AnnE-girl]

I just kept nursing my oldest through my second pregnancy. He had just turned two when his little sister was born. There were times that nursing during pregnancy was very difficult. Having a visceral hormonal desire to throw your nursing toddler across the room is very scary, but normal. If it's anything more than a very fleeting thought, it might be better to wean than create a cycle of negative feelings toward your older baby.

 

I did feel I needed a break after nursing for five years straight with my first two. I'm not sure I could have tandem nursed my daughter and another closer baby right away. "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is a great book that explains all the potential benefits and pitfalls of tandem nursing.

[Bluegoat]

I tandem nursed my dd9 and ds7 for about a year.

 

I didn't find the feelings of dd were a huge issue - she was a bit put out, but I don't think the nursing made that better or worse.

 

I wouldn't likely do it again though - I found it very tiring and physically demanding - which was something I didn't hear much about from all the AP sources I was reading at the time.  It was extreme though - comparable to when I had mono.

 

Now - not everyone finds that.  But, I think generally it is worthwhile to think about how you'd proceed if it didn't work out.  I felt like I didn't want to wean right when the new baby appeared, so I was kind of locked in.  Bad planning on my part I guess.

[maize]

I've done both--twice I nursed the toddler through pregnancy, twice I weaned then let the toddler try nursing again after the baby was born. And twice I weaned the toddler and it stuck.

[Xahm]

My first two are 17 months apart and I tandem nursed for about 5 or six months. I was going to wait until my oldest was two, but at some point I started to have a major sense of dread whenever both wanted to nurse. She was surprisingly fine when I arranged her. She cuddled up against me with a cup of milk during the times she used to nurse.

The whole thing was pretty easy to play by ear. I kept being sure dd would self wean during pregnancy, but she didn't. The downsides were that it was very, very, difficult to eat enough calories for all that nursing, and I got rather lopsided as each of them had the same favorite side.

[Elizabeth86]

I've done both--twice I nursed the toddler through pregnancy, twice I weaned then let the toddler try nursing again after the baby was born. And twice I weaned the toddler and it stuck.

Well you have just BTDT with all the nursing situation huh? Im not sure why your reply made me giggle? I guess I will just go with the flow and see what happens.

[6wildhorses]

I found nursing through an entire pregnancy and then tandem nursing to be too physically demanding. After doing it once, I didn't do it again. If you decide to try it, I highly recommend finding some healthy drink mixes that have lots of protein and nutrients. Garden of Life has some good ones.

[rose]

I've done it. I nursed one baby till she was 14 months and I was 20 weeks pregnant. At that point I switched to nursing a newborn that we adopted. I didn't have any milk whatsoever so I ended up using a supplemental feeder until the next baby was born. At that point my adopted little one could nurse like a champ. One really nice benefit of continuing through the pregnancy is that your breasts won't hurt nearly so much, if at all, when you start up with your new one. Your toddler just helps everything keep flowing so there's just not the same inflammation caused by getting it all started again.

 

One huge benefit of tandem nursing that I rarely hear talked about is that if your new baby has any trouble nursing you won't end up with supply issues. The younger of my two that I tandem nursed probably had a tongue tie but it didn't cause any trouble. He didn't have to suck well at all because let down was so good. Eventually as he grew up he was able to get a proper latch. I suspect that I would have had much more trouble with him had he been nursing alone.

[barnwife]

I have tandem nursed twice. It just kind of happened. Our oldest two are 18 months apart. Neither DSnow7 nor I were ready for him to wean when I got pregnant again. So I just kept nursing him.

I tandem nursed for about a year. I tried nursing both at the same time once or twice, but hated it. I felt instantly touched out as soon as I had two kids latched on. I much, much preferred for them each to have their own nursing time.

I then did the same thing when the third kid came along.

While it was physically demanding (I definitely felt way too touched out some days), it was also wonderful in its own way. I wouldn't wean with the hope that older LO goes back to nursing when baby is born, unless you are fine with it possibly being the end. GL with whatever you end up doing!

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I planned on tandem nursing with mine, who are 16 months apart.  My milk changed, though, at about 4 months gestation.  Dd was nursing, then made this sour face, and never wanted to nurse again.  She was 11 months old.  

[forty-two]

I tandem nursed with both 1&2 and with 2&3. (In fact, my middle *always* tandem nursed - my oldest weaned the day my youngest was born.). So I tandem nursed for over 3 years straight (and nursed for 9.5 years straight).

 

I nursed straight through pregnancy both times - it was hard in that my nipples were extra sensitive during pg, but the older babies in question were extremely attached to nursing, and it calmed them like nothing else, so overall I found it worth it.

 

Actually tandem nursing was easier than nursing through pg for me - just held a kid in each arm. The newbie didn't care about close quarters, and my older was happy to snuggle close. I didn't have any health issues with it, and I made plenty of milk, although I did have to make sure I ate enough (and I could anything I wanted and still lose the baby weight). Had to limit nursing for the older somewhat, because when my milk came in the older one would spoil their appetite with nursing. I appreciated that tandem nursing kept the older baby from being abruptly "replaced" as the baby, and provided a nice time for the older one to bond with the newbie. I'm glad I did it, and I'd do it again.

[HS Mom in NC]

I tandem nursed for a couple of years. They're 22 months apart.

I had some pregnancy issues, so oldest was emergency weaned for the last 2 months of the pregnancy with middle.  After the baby was born we went back to it. We didn't see any evidence of jealousy in oldest. In my LLI toddler nursing group, I was the only one with pregnancy issues.  No one else had to emergency wean during pregnancy.

[ktgrok]

I tandem nursed. I didn't plan on it, though it would suck, or she would lose interest when my milk dried up, but it was fine. I did sometimes have her nurse for shorter time periods, etc, but not much different than I normally do with a kid that age. She was 2 1/2 when her brother was born and nursed until about 3 1/2. It was very useful when I was engorged!

[ktgrok]

 

One huge benefit of tandem nursing that I rarely hear talked about is that if your new baby has any trouble nursing you won't end up with supply issues. The younger of my two that I tandem nursed probably had a tongue tie but it didn't cause any trouble. He didn't have to suck well at all because let down was so good. Eventually as he grew up he was able to get a proper latch. I suspect that I would have had much more trouble with him had he been nursing alone.

 

True, my ds did have a pretty significant lip tie and it was good he didn't have to create all the supply. 

[maize]

I find nursing two simultaneously to be very uncomfortable--way too much sensory stuff going on. It does happen occasionally but usually if the toddler wants to nurse at the same time as the baby I have him/her wait until the baby is through.

 

I do have fond memories of my oldest reaching across to hold the baby's hand when both were nursing.

 

And toddlers really are a boon if I am engorged for any reason!

Edited September 8, 2017 by maize

[RootAnn]

I thought I would tandem nurse a couple of them. However, they all ended up weaning on their own (one exception) before I gave birth & had no interest in nursing once the baby came.

 

My one exception is my biggest gap between kids (2 1/2 years). I had to wean that one before the next came because I just couldn't take it (nursing) anymore and needed a break before the next one was born. I got about three months break. The lactation consultant who came into my hospital room after I had that (next) baby was concerned about jealousy, but it didn't happen. (She was a wack job.)

 

My milk dried up during pregnancy with one of them. I wouldn't worry too much as time has a way of taking these decisions away from us. 

[MistyMountain]

I tandem nursed with my middle child and youngest. I cut back during the pregnancy but he did not want to give up the last nursing session. I do not think my experience is typical but he never wanted to nurse at the same time as the baby. He did not want to share during his time and he was not interested in it when she was. It was not too physically demanding because he only nursed once a day and my youngest was not an around the clock nurser as a baby like my middle child was.

[Kiara.I]

I've tandem nursed, we just nursed straight through.

 

Oh, the nursing aversion where you kind of want to throw your toddler across the room?  Yup, it's a thing.  For me, it happened when I was quite thirsty.  I'm actually pretty convinced that for me it was a dehydration response.  So if you do get that, try downing a big glass of water and see if that helps matters.

[MomOfABunch]

I've done it, with all my kids actually. The twins, together obviously and then the 3 little boys, who are all 2 years apart. They just nursed straight through. DS3 and DS4 actually weaned together when they were about 3 and 1. Nursing the toddler was an absolute parenting LIFESAVER after the new baby came.

My best advice is to join your local la leche league group. You will meet lots of moms doing this and the leaders can be very helpful with troubleshooting.