jrn Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Monday my husband and I scheduled three more weeks of marriage counseling and today I was served divorce papers. We are just short of 20 years. I can't even think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so very, very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Wow- I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Oh, dang that just...stinks. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so very sorry. Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Ouch. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCB Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so sorry. ((((Hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm sorry. (((Many hugs))) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 What a shock. I'm so, so sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm very sorry. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So sorry 😔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Wow, that's tough :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so sorry. I don't know whether you have read any of our prior threads from people who have gone through this, but there is great collective knowledge here. I don't know whether any of those older threads are still around--they tend to get deleted for privacy and legal strategy reasons--but if you have seen any of them you know what I mean when I speak of great knowledge. Right now you're probably just reeling, and it's hard to plan or even think. I encourage you not to make any sudden moves, to consult several lawyers immediately (get referrals from your friends), and don't go on a vacation or do anything else that could be interpreted as you abandoning the premises. I have to assume that those papers were in the works for some time--they don't just materialize in a flash. So that means that it's important to stop confiding in your husband at this point about your feelings, your strategies, or much of anything else. Be the duck. You are calm on the surface, and underneath you are paddling like mad and making great progress, but he can't see that or see how--that is the most productive and safe stance right now. There is much more ahead, please feel free to come and ask questions, but for starters, those are the crucial first things. Hugs to you. I am SO sorry. 31 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry. 😔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 wow, that really sucks.. how awful. I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 That's brutal. I'm so sorry :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so sorry. :( Don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can do. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So sorry ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So so sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Oh man, that's gotta sting. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So hurtful. I'm sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so sorry. I don't know whether you have read any of our prior threads from people who have gone through this, but there is great collective knowledge here. I don't know whether any of those older threads are still around--they tend to get deleted for privacy and legal strategy reasons--but if you have seen any of them you know what I mean when I speak of great knowledge. Right now you're probably just reeling, and it's hard to plan or even think. I encourage you not to make any sudden moves, to consult several lawyers immediately (get referrals from your friends), and don't go on a vacation or do anything else that could be interpreted as you abandoning the premises. I have to assume that those papers were in the works for some time--they don't just materialize in a flash. So that means that it's important to stop confiding in your husband at this point about your feelings, your strategies, or much of anything else. Be the duck. You are calm on the surface, and underneath you are paddling like mad and making great progress, but he can't see that or see how--that is the most productive and safe stance right now. There is much more ahead, please feel free to come and ask questions, but for starters, those are the crucial first things. Hugs to you. I am SO sorry. :iagree: A big YES to everything Carol said. If you weren't expecting the divorce papers and your dh was acting as though he was willing to go to counseling while he was actually consulting with an attorney and having divorce papers drawn up, you now know you can't trust anything your dh tells you. Your dh has a head start on you, but if you remain as calm as possible (not easy, I know!) and get a very tough attorney of your own, you will be just fine. One thing to do immediately -- make sure you make copies of every financial record you can find and take steps to ensure that your dh can't drain your accounts. Sorry to sound paranoid, but it sounds like your dh has been very deceitful, so you need to be as careful and as proactive as possible to protect your own interests. I hate it that you have to go through this. :( 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and I hope you find an awesome lawyer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I don't want to pry, but I hope you get some more answers/closure if you haven't yet. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So sorry... :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 (hugs) the ladies here have valuable advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Oh no, I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 So sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 What a blow. I'm so sorry, jrn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Do you have any support around you with friends/family or similar? They can be worth their weight in gold as you go through this. :grouphug: If not, it could be very worth it to look for a divorce support group in your area. (It could be worth it anyway for the advice you could glean.) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I am so very sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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