Any low energy introverts change their ways?

[Carrie12345]

Not change the introvert part so much, but push through the low energy aspect that comes with it for many introverts.

 

Right now, I'm in this place where there are a lot of things I want to do.  I see people (and I'll take SWB as a "celebrity" example, and a friend of mine as an IRL normal person example) who get so. much. done.  I don't even want to emulate them, really. I don't desire to get THAT much done!  I'm perfectly okay with not being a superwomanmomauthoremployeeemployerwifehomeschoolervolunteerneighborfriendetcetera.  I know that I need more downtime than I perceive people like this to have.  But I sure would love to be able to find a way to fit a few more small things into my life (particularly things for myself) without feeling like it might kill me!

 

On paper, it looks like I should "simply" utilize my time better.  I'm an early riser, I catch frequent breaks throughout the day most days... but I don't focus very well during those times and, if I try to, I'm completely exhausted (physically and mentally) before the end of the day. I need that time to veg, but I don't want to need that time to veg!  I'd rather read and write and study, or get other tasks done so I can free up larger blocks of time later to do more field trips or shop by myself, or work around dh's schedule better. Or to be able to do something spontaneous without feeling like it'll completely mess up my schedule for the next day.

 

So, has anyone pushed through, or am I really going to have to make peace with the fact that I need that "wasted" time? (She asks before 5am, because she can't seem to make her brain do anything harder than scrolling message boards.)

[Sneezyone]

Not change the introvert part so much, but push through the low energy aspect that comes with it for many introverts.

 

Right now, I'm in this place where there are a lot of things I want to do.  I see people (and I'll take SWB as a "celebrity" example, and a friend of mine as an IRL normal person example) who get so. much. done.  I don't even want to emulate them, really. I don't desire to get THAT much done!  I'm perfectly okay with not being a superwomanmomauthoremployeeemployerwifehomeschoolervolunteerneighborfriendetcetera.  I know that I need more downtime than I perceive people like this to have.  But I sure would love to be able to find a way to fit a few more small things into my life (particularly things for myself) without feeling like it might kill me!

 

On paper, it looks like I should "simply" utilize my time better.  I'm an early riser, I catch frequent breaks throughout the day most days... but I don't focus very well during those times and, if I try to, I'm completely exhausted (physically and mentally) before the end of the day. I need that time to veg, but I don't want to need that time to veg!  I'd rather read and write and study, or get other tasks done so I can free up larger blocks of time later to do more field trips or shop by myself, or work around dh's schedule better. Or to be able to do something spontaneous without feeling like it'll completely mess up my schedule for the next day.

 

So, has anyone pushed through, or am I really going to have to make peace with the fact that I need that "wasted" time? (She asks before 5am, because she can't seem to make her brain do anything harder than scrolling message boards.)

 

Prozac. It's the only thing that's ever helped me get out of the dumps when I'm SAH. I do best with active routines. Homeschooling isn't as good, for my productivity, as working outside the home because I need to get up and out everyday (and have external accountability). For a while a couple years ago, My DH was good about pushing me into a one-on-one hike every Saturday. The physical activity and routine helped jumpstart my week too.

[Carrie12345]

Prozac. It's the only thing that's ever helped me get out of the dumps when I'm SAH. I do best with active routines. Homeschooling isn't as good, for my productivity, as working outside the home because I need to get up and out everyday (and have external accountability). For a while a couple years ago, My DH was good about pushing me into a one-on-one hike every Saturday. The physical activity and routine helped jumpstart my week too.

Ugh. Not ugh to you, lol, just overall frustration, lol.

 

Workout days do make me physically invigorated, but mentally I feel rushed for the rest of the day and it stresses me out. I am up and out most days, especially during the school year. All of that "out" makes me need MORE recharge time.

 

I didn't mean to come across as a bump on a log. Things are getting done. I just want to do more with my daytime hours and let sleeping (which I do pretty well these days, though I've had terrible insomnia in the past) be my recharge time!

[Guinevere]

I'm an extroverted go-getter, and I've had periods of time like that. It turned out to be poor sleep, combined with some mild deficiencies (d, b12). Addressing those issues, and being sure to drink plenty of water, changed my life for the better.

[Laura Corin]

Exercise. I have so much more energy now that I exercise regularly. It's definitely worth the time it takes.

Edited August 26, 2017 by Laura Corin

[PrincessMommy]

following because the OP described me so well.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I agree with the others that Prozac and exercise help.

 

Another thing that helped me (without Prozac or exercise) was a change in diet.  I gave up sugar, dairy, grains, and soy as part of an elimination diet because I was feeling gross and bloated and drained every single day.  The first three weeks were rough but after that I couldn't believe how much energy I had, both physical and mental.  YMMV of course but this did help me.

[displace]

If you have low energy, I'd first look for basic medical reasons that can cause that (thyroid, anemia, etc).

 

I'll second (or third), exercise. I'm thoroughly wiped by 6/7 pm. I exercise then if I can. When I relax at night, it's for two hours or more, just reading or browsing the Internet. If I take 30-60 min at the start of that time when I'm getting tired, afterwards I have enough energy to do evening chores if needed (even though I have medical problems that cause my exhaustion- I can overcome it some by willpower).

 

For me, I also feel more exhausted when certain things occur: messy house, anxiousness because I've procrastinated, feeling of rushing from being late, a long to do list, etc. For me, getting those basics in order and on a routine so they happen less often helps me feel less exhausted.

 

I also focus on gratefulness when things are going wrong. It helps stop mental rumination, when makes me feel exhausted as well.

 

ETA - I also strongly look at what I have scheduled and committed for. I feel guilty but I don't have time or energy for this, that, and the other. The kids do the same extracurriculars usually, or at least in the same place, at times convenient for me. I also use the majority of every weekend for chores, errands, and planning.

 

I do think a small amount of uninterrupted self time daily can help.

Edited August 26, 2017 by displace

[Elizabeth86]

Nope not yet.

[EMS83]

One thing that does help me is to remember the practical assists that the go-getters typically have.  Or even that Charlotte Mason had.  She could spend hours outside with children every day because someone else was mother, yet another person was cooking/cleaning, etc.  SWB's kids are (probably?) grown at this point.  When they were younger, her husband helped teach, and iirc, so did her mother.  Someone else held down the fort while she was teaching classes.  She has a staff at Peace Hill Press, too.  If it's all you all the time, there are less obviously productive things you can get done.  Here prioritizing helps tremendously to at least mitigate some of the mama guilt.  And looking at time with opportunity cost in mind.

 

And I say "obviously productive" because often something like meal planning, grocery shopping, then cooking, clean up, dishes, plus overseeing mealtime isn't really "counted" in most people's minds as work or productivity.  Same thing for keeping the house in order (often in the face of resistance), knowing where everything is in the house at any given time, who needs what and when, and so on.  All of that is brain power.  Being accessible to demanding little people 24/7 takes energy (especially if you're trying to stay pleasant 24/7!).  And then if you are handling finances, household business, side work, side projects, yard work, pets, new skills, volunteer work, faith stuff, etc., that's just that much more, however much more it is (the bigger the house, the more pets, the bigger the yard, etc. all increase the load compared to fewer or smaller).

 

None of this is to negate the importance of taking care of yourself or powering through certain things, though; just an additional dimension that I think is often overlooked.  :)

[Carrie12345]

 

 

And I say "obviously productive" because often something like meal planning, grocery shopping, then cooking, clean up, dishes, plus overseeing mealtime isn't really "counted" in most people's minds as work or productivity.  Same thing for keeping the house in order (often in the face of resistance), knowing where everything is in the house at any given time, who needs what and when, and so on.  All of that is brain power.  Being accessible to demanding little people 24/7 takes energy (especially if you're trying to stay pleasant 24/7!).  And then if you are handling finances, household business, side work, side projects, yard work, pets, new skills, volunteer work, faith stuff, etc., that's just that much more, however much more it is (the bigger the house, the more pets, the bigger the yard, etc. all increase the load compared to fewer or smaller).

 

 

I think that's likely a huge part of it.  There are very few mental tasks that I can hand off to someone else. Dh's work and volunteering is unpredictable, so I always have to be ready to pick up what he can't... which means I'm always holding it in my head even if he's doing the doing sometimes, yk?  And the kids are responsible for doing some things, but I'm responsible for making sure they do those things!

 

Still, it seems like plenty of people figure it out somehow.

 

I get regular medical and mental health care. I am usually physically active.  I generally eat well.  I drink a lot of water.  I'm active in a co-op and spent the summer helping to form an additional one. I'm active in my local political group, spend time in the rest of my family's volunteer organizations, and participate in family activities, indoors and out.  I've been working on decorating my house, planning a big party in the Spring, texting with my sister and Facetiming with my adorable niece.  Bills are paid, food is (usually, lol) stocked, laundry's at a manageable level.  But I need ridiculous amounts of time to mentally recuperate.

 

I wasn't trying to paint the picture of a chemical imbalance or medical issue.  Just a trait I'd like to try to change.  Like how I don't enjoy being around many people, but have obviously managed to do it anyway.

[wintermom]

Still, it seems like plenty of people figure it out somehow.

 

 

I think you need to stop assuming this.  Stop comparing yourself and all your accomplishments to what you think others are doing, or what 2 extraordinary people look like they are doing. You really don't know what goes on in their daily lives.

 

Make a list of all the things you do right now.  Make a list of the actual, concrete things you want to do. Start doing one or two of the new things and see how the balance of your time and energy go. 

[Elizabeth86]

I think that's likely a huge part of it. There are very few mental tasks that I can hand off to someone else. Dh's work and volunteering is unpredictable, so I always have to be ready to pick up what he can't... which means I'm always holding it in my head even if he's doing the doing sometimes, yk? And the kids are responsible for doing some things, but I'm responsible for making sure they do those things!

 

Still, it seems like plenty of people figure it out somehow.

 

I get regular medical and mental health care. I am usually physically active. I generally eat well. I drink a lot of water. I'm active in a co-op and spent the summer helping to form an additional one. I'm active in my local political group, spend time in the rest of my family's volunteer organizations, and participate in family activities, indoors and out. I've been working on decorating my house, planning a big party in the Spring, texting with my sister and Facetiming with my adorable niece. Bills are paid, food is (usually, lol) stocked, laundry's at a manageable level. But I need ridiculous amounts of time to mentally recuperate.

 

I wasn't trying to paint the picture of a chemical imbalance or medical issue. Just a trait I'd like to try to change. Like how I don't enjoy being around many people, but have obviously managed to do it anyway.

If it makes you feel better Im right there with you. I need ridiculous amounts of time to recover too. It makes me question my homeschool decision constantly. After I finish school with my first grader I feel wiped out. Just as we are closing up, then my 2 year old wakes up from her nap ready to go and I feel ready to rest up then.

[LarlaB]

I think that's likely a huge part of it. There are very few mental tasks that I can hand off to someone else. Dh's work and volunteering is unpredictable, so I always have to be ready to pick up what he can't... which means I'm always holding it in my head even if he's doing the doing sometimes, yk? And the kids are responsible for doing some things, but I'm responsible for making sure they do those things!

 

Still, it seems like plenty of people figure it out somehow.

 

I get regular medical and mental health care. I am usually physically active. I generally eat well. I drink a lot of water. I'm active in a co-op and spent the summer helping to form an additional one. I'm active in my local political group, spend time in the rest of my family's volunteer organizations, and participate in family activities, indoors and out. I've been working on decorating my house, planning a big party in the Spring, texting with my sister and Facetiming with my adorable niece. Bills are paid, food is (usually, lol) stocked, laundry's at a manageable level. But I need ridiculous amounts of time to mentally recuperate.

 

I wasn't trying to paint the picture of a chemical imbalance or medical issue. Just a trait I'd like to try to change. Like how I don't enjoy being around many people, but have obviously managed to do it anyway.

 

Sometimes life just takes what it takes. Energy is a finite thing in many regards even though it can be enhanced and magnified. If you are in a healthy place in most areas and cannot offload responsibilities, then you likely need to come to a better place of acceptance for you are- and play to your strengths instead of focusing on perceived weaknesses.

 

I'm a low energy introverted HSP/empath and I run a small business as a massage therapist. There is no way to describe how drained and exhausted I can become by "only" working 20-30 hours per week in addition to being wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister etc. My plate is full and there is little to do about it other than shift to a lower gear and play to my strengths while acknowledging limitations.

 

I USED to run 1/2 marathons regularly and for fun (which to be fair was a mental health boost) and be a part of active friend and family circles, active in church and volunteering and my house was well run and managed... basically my former self could run circles around my current self on paper!!!!

 

Yet my current life is in a lower gear that requires more torque than speed. For me to be "my best self" simply requires rest, reflection and space in order to bear up under my current life, work and responsibility.

 

If there was a pill, I'd take it LOL

 

I've struggled with anxiety and depression in the past and this is not that....it's a full plate for a sensitive introvert and simply the way it is.

 

A close friend of ours is a Dr and he says basically the same thing... it's a lot to pull off for him and to do the important thing well (faith, family and work) his life is much smaller and more boring that it used to be (or could be)- by necessity. To push himself any more or chase other things would be to potentially disrupt everything- I get that. He's an introvert and absolutely exhausted by his work just like me LOL even though my job is so.much.easier by comparison. So I don't compare.

[fairfarmhand]

Have you had a recent physical? Anemia makes me that way.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[gardenmom5]

change in diet.

finding foods I'm sensitive to (yeast, e.g. bread, soy sauce; mold,  eg. blue cheese, brie)  - and cut them out.  I also cut down on sugar.

my energy is much better.

 

[KungFuPanda]

Could you just need time to establish a new routine? When you have a schedule that feels comfortable, and you switch that up, it's going to feel rather uncomfortable until you do it long enough to make it your new normal. Have you tried a more active schedule for about a month to see if you can fall into that groove after a while?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I wasn't trying to paint the picture of a chemical imbalance or medical issue.  Just a trait I'd like to try to change.  Like how I don't enjoy being around many people, but have obviously managed to do it anyway.

 

 

Carrie, I've spent the years since I had children contemplating the same thing. It's been 15 years now, and...here I still am. So my new goal is to work on accepting it! I will never be that go-getter, and I will always have to work on one thing at a time. I still have days where I struggle with my energy level and kind of abusing myself over it, but this is who I am. It's who I've always been, even when I was thin and fit and ate better and slept better. I think at some point, we just need to say that we're doing the best we can do, and that's that. Is that an option? Can you reach toward some kind of acceptance rather than some kind of change? 

 

ETA: I wanted to check before I added this, but you might also check out l-tyrosine as a supplement option and see if it helps you. Also check into Sam-E--I've heard some people report increased energy with it. I took tyrosine and 5-htp for years when things were really bad here, and they saved me. I never took the tyrosine on its own, so it's hard to say how much that specific supplement helped, but it's often suggested for fatigue and low energy.

Edited August 26, 2017 by ILiveInFlipFlops

[Elizabeth86]

I keep checking back.

It feels good someone else is this way. I have always known I am introverted, but I didnt realize my low energy went along with this. Funny thing is that dh and both my boys are this way too. For instance most 4 and 5 year old boys are running and climbing and what not when you take them to a park and my boys always end up collecting pinecones or just wanting to walk by the river. I think I need to make it a priority for all 4 of us to get the downtime we crave.

 

Since you have brought it to my attention, I realize this is why I have felt so blah lately. Before I started homeschool, when the baby napped we all got downtime. Now naptime is school time and there isnt a downtime for us all everyday. One task runs into another and it is wearing me out. I used to get to rest and so dh used to get to rest when he got home. Not anymore because Im so drained, Im dragging him right into what me and the kids are doing as soon as he gets in the door. Sorry Im so focused on me, but I just now realized the source of a lot of issues I a having right now.

Edited August 26, 2017 by Elizabeth86

[EmilyGF]

Some things you can change, some things you can't.

 

My friend from college is super productive, but she has never needed more than 6 hours of sleep per night. It wasn't that she drank caffeine or something, she just didn't need sleep. So she easily works 20 hours per week while her little guys are in bed because they need 10 hours of sleep per night as toddlers. I can't do that because I'd be a zombie. I think I remember reading that SWB was like that in regard to sleep.

 

For me, I tend to waste a lot of time. Writing up concise lists for the day and especially before using the computer helps me be SO MUCH MORE efficient.

 

Getting sunlight early in the day helps, too. And using times I feel too burnt out to work to exercise, even if only for a few minutes, helps me refocus.

 

Emily

[EMS83]

I keep checking back.

It feels good someone else is this way. I have always known I am introverted, but I didnt realize my low energy went along with this. Funny thing is that dh and both my boys are this way too. For instance most 4 and 5 year old boys are running and climbing and what not when you take them to a park and my boys always end up collecting pinecones or just wanting to walk by the river. I think I need to make it a priority for all 4 of us to get the downtime we crave.

 

Since you have brought it to my attention, I realize this is why I have felt so blah lately. Before I started homeschool, when the baby napped we all got downtime. Now naptime is school time and there isnt a downtime for us all everyday. One task runs into another and it is wearing me out. I used to get to rest and so dh used to get to rest when he got home. Not anymore because Im so drained, Im dragging him right into what me and the kids are doing as soon as he gets in the door. Sorry Im so focused on me, but I just now realized the source of a lot of issues I a having right now.

 

We still have "nap" time.  It's tempting to abuse it, I won't lie, but something, half an hour to an hour is the only time I am not on-call and on-demand for someone all day.  How I use it varies from yard work to message boards to tasks I need complete concentration and/or quiet for (finances, phone calls, etc.).  Other times I'll Netflix or nap (usually Netflix if I'm behind on folding).  Just the quiet and personal space is very helpful.  And I let them have their 2DSes during that time; they're older and don't typically nap anymore.  

[Ausmumof3]

Have you ever tried logging what you do all day? I did once when I was feeling like that and when I did it all made sense. There's often a huge number of tasks or interruptions. I'm like you. Low energy. No desire to go out. I think it's helpful to remember that for those who are out all the time that it is actually relaxing for them. So when they get home they are all recharged ready to go not needing to rest to recover.

[MotherGoose]

Exercise. I have so much more energy now that I exercise regularly. It's definitely worth the time it takes.

I look forward to exercise. But it's introvert exercise: working in the garden alone, or elliptical trainer at home reading stuff on iPad.

[regentrude]

Paradoxically: having less time.

Seriously. When I am not employed, have the day off etc, I am not productive - stuff takes a loong time, I am unfocused, tend to procrastinate, feel without energy.

If I have very little time and need to be efficient, all of a sudden I am. I often found that people who have less time get more done than people who have tons of time.

My house is cleaner and we eat better when I work, as opposed to when I am a SAHM.