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Book/Site recommendations on domestic abuse/controlling spouse for someone outside the relationship?


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I am trying to find good resources, preferably including at least one physical book, to give to someone I know. Her mother is involved in a relationship with a controlling, emotionally and verbally abusive spouse. I don't think it's more than that right now, but I am afraid that it could quickly evolve into it.


"Suzy" is 18. Her father was verbally abusive, but while her mother left him a good 7-or-so years ago, she still grew up in a dysfunctional family. Even then, she knows that her mom's current husband is a dirtbag, and she's worried about her mom, which is understandable. So am I.


Suzy's mom "Sheila" married her current husband, Dirtbag, only about a year ago. Dirtbag was controlling even before they married, but it was manifest more towards the almost-grown children. He took the facade of "I'm trying to be a good dad." :ack2: Suzy really did not put up with much of that. She is a strong woman, and soon as she could, she moved out. Now that all the kids are out of the house, Sheila has become the sole focus of Dirtbag. Suzy is really being cut off from her mom.


There really is nothing anyone can do until Sheila is ready. Currently, she is making excuses for herself and Dirtbag. I know this. Suzy knows this. And boy, is it frustrating! :banghead:  Especially since Sheila was strong enough to walk out of the toxic relationship w/ her first husband, and if she would just really stop and look at her situation, she would see that she has allowed herself to get sucked back into another toxic relationship!


(And yes, I know Sheila very well.)


So...with that background, I'm looking for a good book or two and/or websites that will help Suzy understand the dynamics of a controlling and abusive relationship as well as how to be prepared to help her mom, once her mom wakes up. (Which I do think will eventually happen.)


I'm in contact w/ Suzy and trying to be encouraging, but I just feel like something that Suzy can read and study on her own would be helpful to her.


I'm perusing Amazon and the internet right now looking for stuff. There's certainly no shortage of resources! I just need some help narrowing it down to something that would be best for Suzy's situation.

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