Parents of freshmen, how is it going?

[Gwen in VA]

:grouphug:  to all of you dropping kids off. It's hard.

 

And somehow year after year it does get a bit easier. You get more confident that they really can handle it and you get a bit more used to there being less noise and less mess at home. And sometimes it still hurts. I only have one still in college, and I still sometimes just wonder where the time went and what happened to the 24-7 party that used to be at my house before they all left.

 

And then wonders happen. A kid buys a house. A kid gets married. A kid successfully navigates grad school and launches a career. And sometimes you still miss them, but you are happy that they are off doing what they should do. Life goes on -- and sometimes you wander into an empty kid bedroom and remember the toys and the fun of years gone by.  And you sniff. And then you remember that they are supposed to go off and you really don't want it any other way.

 

:grouphug:  Launching kids is hard.

 

 

[Guest]

:grouphug: to all of you dropping kids off. It's hard.

 

And somehow year after year it does get a bit easier. You get more confident that they really can handle it and you get a bit more used to there being less noise and less mess at home. And sometimes it still hurts. I only have one still in college, and I still sometimes just wonder where the time went and what happened to the 24-7 party that used to be at my house before they all left.

 

And then wonders happen. A kid buys a house. A kid gets married. A kid successfully navigates grad school and launches a career. And sometimes you still miss them, but you are happy that they are off doing what they should do. Life goes on -- and sometimes you wander into an empty kid bedroom and remember the toys and the fun of years gone by. And you sniff. And then you remember that they are supposed to go off and you really don't want it any other way.

 

:grouphug: Launching kids is hard.

All so true. Beautifully said, Gwen.

[Nan in Mass]

I'm a mess.

 

We moved dd into her dorm today. She has been nervous about it for months. When we pulled up today, we all got out of the car. Dd took a deep breath and one step away from the car, said nope, and got back into the car. I got back in as well and handed her some kleenex. She pulled herself together, grabbed a pair of sunglasses to hid her slightly puffy eyes, and got back out.

 

We asked for directions, followed dd to the first stop where she got her ID card and room keys. Everyone was so nice, friendly, and helpful. It was great to see dd take care of everything. We headed back to the car and began moving her into her room. Her roommate that she has chatted with online was already there. She seemed nice (we only chatted briefly as they were heading to lunch), but dd noted that, "She seems a little messy." as she and her family had left bananas, oranges, pretzels, and other snacks on both the dressers and desks.

 

Once unpacked, we went for lunch and then dd had a floor meeting so we said our goodbyes. I cried, dh got teary eyed, and dd cried. I've been crying off and on since then; I will miss her so much and I worry about her. I know she can handle it, but I want her to really enjoy it. She is so far away from home, but just an hour away from grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. She has some anxiety issues and food sensitivities and is a very picky eater, so despite there being things on the menu that she can eat, whether or not she will, is another story. I had hoped we would have time to get some food for her from the grocery store, but we did not.

 

I'm trying not to worry, but it is so difficult. I desperately want to text her, but I don't - kwim?

I would text. My parents tried to give me "space" and I just felt abandonned. You could say it is fine not to text back if she is too busy.

 

Nan

[Nan in Mass]

Hugs to everyone.

 

Nan

[jen3kids]

:grouphug:  to all of you dropping kids off. It's hard.

 

And somehow year after year it does get a bit easier. You get more confident that they really can handle it and you get a bit more used to there being less noise and less mess at home. And sometimes it still hurts. I only have one still in college, and I still sometimes just wonder where the time went and what happened to the 24-7 party that used to be at my house before they all left.

 

And then wonders happen. A kid buys a house. A kid gets married. A kid successfully navigates grad school and launches a career. And sometimes you still miss them, but you are happy that they are off doing what they should do. Life goes on -- and sometimes you wander into an empty kid bedroom and remember the toys and the fun of years gone by.  And you sniff. And then you remember that they are supposed to go off and you really don't want it any other way.

 

:grouphug:  Launching kids is hard.

 

Thank you so much for writing that.  I know that it is all true.  I have nieces and nephews who have gone through university and moved far from home. I know this is what she is supposed to be doing, but golly, it is hard.

 

 

I would text. My parents tried to give me "space" and I just felt abandonned. You could say it is fine not to text back if she is too busy.

 

Nan

 

 

 

Oh, yes, I don't want her to feel abandoned at all.  That would be awful.

 

I've been texting her and dh has been snap-chatting with her.   She has decorated her room and is enjoying the freshman orientation week activities.  I will see her Thursday before I head back home.  

 

Jen

[klmama]

My dc is enjoying college so far.  It helps a lot that dc's roommate is also an introvert and that they share some interests.  By the time we left campus on drop-off day, they seemed like old friends already.  Pretty good for a last-day roommate match!     

 

Dc tends not to be communicative when away, busy, and things are going well, so the no-news-is-good-news concept definitely applies here. I asked for some sort of regular contact, even if it's just a one word response to an email or text so I know dc is okay.  I expect we'll talk on the phone every few weeks.   

 

 

  

 

[8filltheheart]

Thank you so much for writing that.  I know that it is all true.  I have nieces and nephews who have gone through university and moved far from home. I know this is what she is supposed to be doing, but golly, it is hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, yes, I don't want her to feel abandoned at all.  That would be awful.

 

I've been texting her and dh has been snap-chatting with her.   She has decorated her room and is enjoying the freshman orientation week activities.  I will see her Thursday before I head back home.  

 

Jen

 

Jen,

 

Gwen's post is absolutely true, but at times, it doesn't make it any easier.  I bawled my eyes out when we dropped our dd off this yr, and she is number 5 to leave.  It was hard b/c she was crying, too.  It is easier when they are eager and happy than when they are also struggling. We just got home from visiting my ds and his family (3 of my grandbabies.)  We used to live 10 mins from them and our oldest dd and her ds. Within the past 2 months, we have all moved and are all hours apart.  I cried when we left there, too. I miss them.  I can be sad and happy for them all at the same time.   It does get easier, but it can still cause an ache at the same time.

[regentrude]

DS came home two days after his move in and ditched the mandatory socializing activities of intro week, because he is an introvert and cannot stand this type of thing.

He went back the Sunday before classes started.

He had his first week of classes and came home for labor day weekend, so it does not feel so permanent. I had texted with him on Monday because of some stuff, didn't hear anything through the week, and got a text Thursday night announcing his ETA for Friday.

We talked about communication expectations before he left. His sister calls every day and we chat for a long time, because she needs it. We made it clear that we do not expect him to call, but would appreciate texts, and also that I want him to initiate communication to give him space. I think he knows that he is not "abandoned" and appreciates being left to himself. Last weekend, I sent pumpkin bread with him , so there was some mom love right there.

[G5052]

My freshman is doing well as an online community college student, as is DS who just transferred to the largest 4-year in our state and is commuting after graduating from the community college. His classes are 3x or more larger than the community college, and he struggled the first week with finding his way around. Several times he came home and commented how much he needed the peace and quiet.

 

Frankly nice to be together for at least one meal a day. DH has moved out now, and we are adjusting to that new norm together.

 

They both like at least some of their classes. DD likes Spanish and World Lit I, and DS (a junior in accounting) Writing for Business and his martial arts group.

[mirabillis]

Gwen's post is absolutely true, but at times, it doesn't make it any easier.  I bawled my eyes out when we dropped our dd off this yr, and she is number 5 to leave.  It was hard b/c she was crying, too.

 

you and me both have a lot of kids. i'm hoping that will help the sting, having others still at home, the revolving door revolving for so much longer. hopefully it will help. we're still a ways away from our 1st leaving. i can't even imagine. my heart goes out to all of you!

[JeanM]

DS came home two days after his move in and ditched the mandatory socializing activities of intro week, because he is an introvert and cannot stand this type of thing.

He went back the Sunday before classes started.

He had his first week of classes and came home for labor day weekend, so it does not feel so permanent. I had texted with him on Monday because of some stuff, didn't hear anything through the week, and got a text Thursday night announcing his ETA for Friday.

We talked about communication expectations before he left. His sister calls every day and we chat for a long time, because she needs it. We made it clear that we do not expect him to call, but would appreciate texts, and also that I want him to initiate communication to give him space. I think he knows that he is not "abandoned" and appreciates being left to himself. Last weekend, I sent pumpkin bread with him , so there was some mom love right there.

 

If my ds could have avoided the "mandatory socializing activities of intro week" he'd have been much happier. He's 1500 miles away though, so it's difficult for him to come home.

 

And I agree with the post that it makes it harder when the dc cries. I had cried in advance and had steeled myself not to cry when we drove ds to the airport. However when he started crying, I couldn't help myself.

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

 

 

I'm trying not to worry, but it is so difficult.  I desperately want to text her, but I don't - kwim?

 

 

space, schmace .... she sounds like she would want to communicate with you.  There is a huge difference in helicopter parenting from a distance and keeping in strong touch with our kids.  My dd and I text each other each morning with a simple good morning and every evening with a good night <3.  DD wants to tell me about her days.  She wants me to be a soundingboard sometimes.  I think the key is to just listen unless they ask for advice and if you text and don't hear from her right away, don't start worrying or get angry at her.  Allow her to come back to you and say whatever she needs to say.  I will hear from dd 10 times in one day and then another day I will only get the good morning/good night texts.  This is very different than the parent who texts their student all day long to remind them to do what they need to do or to make sure their student is "in check", etc.  

 

hang in there  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[jen3kids]

If my ds could have avoided the "mandatory socializing activities of intro week" he'd have been much happier. He's 1500 miles away though, so it's difficult for him to come home.

 

And I agree with the post that it makes it harder when the dc cries. I had cried in advance and had steeled myself not to cry when we drove ds to the airport. However when he started crying, I couldn't help myself.

 

 

 

I think dd would have liked to have skipped some of them, just to get some more sleep.  She is crazy busy, and she likes all the things they are doing, but she needs her down time.  

 

 

space, schmace .... she sounds like she would want to communicate with you.  There is a huge difference in helicopter parenting from a distance and keeping in strong touch with our kids.  My dd and I text each other each morning with a simple good morning and every evening with a good night <3.  DD wants to tell me about her days.  She wants me to be a soundingboard sometimes.  I think the key is to just listen unless they ask for advice and if you text and don't hear from her right away, don't start worrying or get angry at her.  Allow her to come back to you and say whatever she needs to say.  I will hear from dd 10 times in one day and then another day I will only get the good morning/good night texts.  This is very different than the parent who texts their student all day long to remind them to do what they need to do or to make sure their student is "in check", etc.  

 

hang in there  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

 

I do text her a goodnight and a good morning.  We've had short morning chats before the days' activities begin, but then I don't usually hear from her for the rest of the day.  I know she snap-chats with dh and her brothers.  They all report smiles, so that's good.  I have (so far) refrained from asking her if she's taking her meds each morning/evening and with her meals.  I know she is responsible enough to do it on her own, but I just want to check in with her, just to make sure. :)

 

Thanks everyone.  It will get easier, I know, but there will always be tears from me.  I went to university 1600 km away from home and I live nearly as far away now, and I still cry when I leave my mom and dad.  DH thinks I'm a nut :)

[regentrude]

If my ds could have avoided the "mandatory socializing activities of intro week" he'd have been much happier. He's 1500 miles away though, so it's difficult for him to come home.

 

And I agree with the post that it makes it harder when the dc cries. I had cried in advance and had steeled myself not to cry when we drove ds to the airport. However when he started crying, I couldn't help myself.

 

 

Hugs. That is hard.

 

On the mandatory socializing though: DS refused to attend an event with his dorm floor and told the RA he had an appointment. He went into his room to skype with his girlfriend :)

[regentrude]

And now he's gone again :(

[goldberry]

My freshman is doing well, we will see her next weekend for a visit.  She has been gone three weeks and is about 2 1/2 hours away.  She has been texting me a ton though, so that really has helped.  I still feel part of things.  The texting has slowed down a bit in the last several days, and I'm starting to worry that I won't hear from her as much.

 

My girl has the biggest, most open heart ever.  When she makes friends, she always gives her heart away too early, just assuming the best of people. So she's already been learning some hard lessons.  :crying:  It has to happen though, and I can't stop it...

 

Her serious BF left for basic training the week before she left for college.  I was really worried about how she would handle it, she is extremely emotional and had worked herself into a frenzy about him being gone.  She is doing wonderful!  Sad, but still enjoying her new college.  Not a tad bit interested in the other guys hitting on her, she says it has made her even more certain BF is the one.  We'll see how that goes, but at least for now him being gone didn't paralyze her or keep her from having a good time.

 

I'm so sorry for you guys limited to once a week talking or not getting to visit!  That would be so hard!  :grouphug:

[snowbeltmom]

We dropped middle son off last Monday.  It was easier the 2nd time around for me, mainly because kiddo was so excited to be there.  Part of his orientation involved camping in the Berkshires from Wed to Sunday without the modern conveniences of running water, toilet paper, or even deodorant.  He was a little worried about this aspect of the trip prior to going, and I laughed that his 8 year old self would have been trilled at the opportunity of not being able to shower for days on end.

 

He called when he got back from his trip.  He was so happy.  He said that the other kids were awesome and that the group has set up a night to get together each week to play board games.  His classes start on Friday.  I am expecting some minor bumps in the road at some point, but he has found his social tribe, which makes me extremely happy.

 

He is playing his brother's team both this month and next month.  We are heading up to see both events, so I will get to see both of them twice before Thanksgiving.

 

My H and D have been gone out of state all weekend for her athletic competition.  It was the first time since I can remember that I was all alone in the house- I don't like it and will be happy when they arrived back home tonight.

 

:grouphug:  to everyone who is hurting right now.  I was a wreck the first time around.  It does get easier.

 

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

DD is doing great.  After flip-flopping around on her major all summer, she has now settled back where she started  :lol:   She originally wanted to go into biomedical and science writing.  She mentioned her desire to her advisor and he quickly connected her with a lady in the field who graduated with a masters from MIT and she is one of the best in her field and it has rekindled dd's interest.  This particular person has made contacts and worked dd all the way to the interview process with a science writing position (dd's already submitted a bio and some writing,etc).  If the interview goes well and dd gets the position, she could spend 4 years working in the very field she wants to go into while in college.  This would be awesomeness  :hurray:     And, being the high achiever that she is, she now has her mind set on getting into the grad program at MIT (the best in the country for Science writers).  At least she has goals  :lol:

 

She is super nervous about this interview so please send prayers and positive thoughts dd's way for Friday afternoon.

[8filltheheart]

DD is doing great. After flip-flopping around on her major all summer, she has now settled back where she started :lol: She originally wanted to go into biomedical and science writing. She mentioned her desire to her advisor and he quickly connected her with a lady in the field who graduated with a masters from MIT and she is one of the best in her field and it has rekindled dd's interest. This particular person has made contacts and worked dd all the way to the interview process with a science writing position (dd's already submitted a bio and some writing,etc). If the interview goes well and dd gets the position, she could spend 4 years working in the very field she wants to go into while in college. This would be awesomeness :hurray: And, being the high achiever that she is, she now has her mind set on getting into the grad program at MIT (the best in the country for Science writers). At least she has goals :lol:

 

She is super nervous about this interview so please send prayers and positive thoughts dd's way for Friday afternoon.

Fabulous!!! I hope she gets the position!

[Nan in Mass]

DS came home two days after his move in and ditched the mandatory socializing activities of intro week, because he is an introvert and cannot stand this type of thing.

He went back the Sunday before classes started.

He had his first week of classes and came home for labor day weekend, so it does not feel so permanent. I had texted with him on Monday because of some stuff, didn't hear anything through the week, and got a text Thursday night announcing his ETA for Friday.

We talked about communication expectations before he left. His sister calls every day and we chat for a long time, because she needs it. We made it clear that we do not expect him to call, but would appreciate texts, and also that I want him to initiate communication to give him space. I think he knows that he is not "abandoned" and appreciates being left to himself. Last weekend, I sent pumpkin bread with him , so there was some mom love right there.

I was the oldest, and long distance phone calls were expensive, and my parents had both been on a write-once-a-week schedule in college and been fine with that, for various reasons that didn't apply to me. They were horrified when we finally got the problem sorted out and my non-letter-writing mother wrote every day and my father offered to give me his car if it would help. They were careful with my sisters to leave them their space, and my sisters were happy with the space. Everyone is different. My mother said she knew she needed to stay in closer touch but the culture of the time said not to. Listen to your heart and you should be fine. Sending pumkin bread back with him says I love you in a special way to an athlete, I think. More sustaining than a text, probably grin.

Nan

[regentrude]

 Sending pumkin bread back with him says I love you in a special way to an athlete, I think. More sustaining than a text, probably grin.

 

LOL. The boy's love language is FOOD :)

[Angie in VA]

If my ds could have avoided the "mandatory socializing activities of intro week" he'd have been much happier. He's 1500 miles away though, so it's difficult for him to come home.

 

And I agree with the post that it makes it harder when the dc cries. I had cried in advance and had steeled myself not to cry when we drove ds to the airport. However when he started crying, I couldn't help myself.

 

 

 

That would do me in!!!

 

:grouphug:

[JeanM]

Thanks for all the sympathy. I'm happy to report that ds is really happy with his classes and is really adjusting to life on campus.

 

As a side note, when he first got to campus his bed was a loft bed (over his desk) with no safety rails. He said he was a little nervous about sleeping up so high, but thought he'd probably get used to it. The second night he was awakened by his roommate falling out of bed. Luckily the roommate was not badly hurt. DS talked to their RA the next morning and now they both have rails on their beds. I'm honestly surprised that they weren't informed right away that this was an option.

[clementine]

Here's a funny... Our last one moved into college mid August, so we are 'empty nesters' (hate that term!) She has been periodically texting me 'good morning' or 'what did you do today?' I'm pretty sure she knows it was harder on me than on her!

She is loving the whole college scene & doesn't miss home (she apologizes for that, lol'). We don't take it personal - it just means she's where she's meant to be. :)

I hope all of the new freshmen are finding their grooves!!

[samba]

Ds is starting his college classes today! But he'll be at home for @ 2 years and then we'll see where he ends up. So for now we still get to have dinner with him. :-)

 

Same here. Dd decided to stay where she had been dual-enrolled. It was a surprise to all of us that she chose to stay at home and commute. She's pretty adventurous and likes new places/challenges. It makes sense, though. The school has an excellent program for her major. 

 

Dd was gone for 12 weeks this summer for a job away from home. She came home one weekend for a family function and when it was time for her to leave again I was choking back tears. That is so not me! I missed her so much. I can't imagine if we were sending her away to school. Dd and I are very close and enjoy each other's company. I'm glad to have this extra time with her. I can support her in her studies without being "in charge". I think I got tired of being mom/teacher. I'm ready to just be mom.

[gingersmom]

Thanks for all the sympathy. I'm happy to report that ds is really happy with his classes and is really adjusting to life on campus.

 

As a side note, when he first got to campus his bed was a loft bed (over his desk) with no safety rails. He said he was a little nervous about sleeping up so high, but thought he'd probably get used to it. The second night he was awakened by his roommate falling out of bed. Luckily the roommate was not badly hurt. DS talked to their RA the next morning and now they both have rails on their beds. I'm honestly surprised that they weren't informed right away that this was an option.

My daughter fell out of her bed, fell off the stairs to bed in the middle of the night. She's a junior now and thankfully is done with bunk beds.

[daijobu]

Wow, no bed rails?  That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.  

[Guest]

Wow, no bed rails?  That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.  

 

That was my first thought too.

[klmama]

No kidding. At my dc's college they have bed rails, but they ran out of ladders. So, students are climbing up via radiators, desks, etc.

[Hoggirl]

No kidding. At my dc's college they have bed rails, but they ran out of ladders. So, students are climbing up via radiators, desks, etc.

When I was in college, everyone built their own "racks" (what we called contraptions for putting beds up off the floor), however they wanted them. Almost everyone climbed on the built-in desks that were in the rooms to get into their beds. The desks were at least attached to the walls and immovable. It was either one or two years after I graduated that the school decided to have standard racks that were all the same and provided by the school. We had ours near the ceiling - no rails at all.

[jen3kids]

I saw my dd yesterday and she is doing great!   She talked non-stop about all the activities they have done during orientation week and she had her first class on Thursday.   She is tired, but having fun.   I think she'll get a lot of sleep on Sunday.

 

As I was leaving, I teared up (of course) and she said, "Please don't cry.  I really like it here.  I'm fine."   

 

She hasn't been eating much because she's too shy to talk to the nutritionist in the cafeteria about her food sensitivities, but she did ask about ingredients, which is a step in the right direction for her.  She is forcing herself to try new foods which is a good thing.  I cannot do this for her, but as she gets more comfortable, she will ask more questions.  She did meet a guy who has celiac disease and he showed her where the fridge is that has stuff for him, which she said anyone can have, but a lot of it has dairy in it.  

 

 

 

 

[Nan in Mass]

I saw my dd yesterday and she is doing great! She talked non-stop about all the activities they have done during orientation week and she had her first class on Thursday. She is tired, but having fun. I think she'll get a lot of sleep on Sunday.

 

As I was leaving, I teared up (of course) and she said, "Please don't cry. I really like it here. I'm fine."

 

She hasn't been eating much because she's too shy to talk to the nutritionist in the cafeteria about her food sensitivities, but she did ask about ingredients, which is a step in the right direction for her. She is forcing herself to try new foods which is a good thing. I cannot do this for her, but as she gets more comfortable, she will ask more questions. She did meet a guy who has celiac disease and he showed her where the fridge is that has stuff for him, which she said anyone can have, but a lot of it has dairy in it.

I hope the nutritionist at your daughter's school is as nice and helpful as the one at my youngest's! It is hard to watch as tbey lose weight figuring these things out, isn't it?

 

Nan

[jen3kids]

I hope the nutritionist at your daughter's school is as nice and helpful as the one at my youngest's! It is hard to watch as tbey lose weight figuring these things out, isn't it?

 

Nan

 

 

I believe she is.  

 

When dd asked if the potato wedges were battered, the server immediately asked someone in the kitchen, who sent out the nutrtitionist.  DD said she was really friendly and wants to meet with her to discuss her dietary needs.  Dd didn't have the time then, and was feeling a bit overwhelmed (too much attention on her), so she said she'd come by later to discuss it.  I hope she does.  Dd did say she's been eating salad (which she never would at home) and raw veggies.  I suggested adding a bit of oil and vinegar dressing to the salad, but dd wasn't brave enough to try that!  The meat they serve is sometimes mixed into a casserole or with a sauce that dd doesn't like, but there are times when it's just been chicken breast or turkey.

[Ann.without.an.e]

nm

Edited September 8, 2017 by Attolia

[Nan in Mass]

I believe she is.

 

When dd asked if the potato wedges were battered, the server immediately asked someone in the kitchen, who sent out the nutrtitionist. DD said she was really friendly and wants to meet with her to discuss her dietary needs. Dd didn't have the time then, and was feeling a bit overwhelmed (too much attention on her), so she said she'd come by later to discuss it. I hope she does. Dd did say she's been eating salad (which she never would at home) and raw veggies. I suggested adding a bit of oil and vinegar dressing to the salad, but dd wasn't brave enough to try that! The meat they serve is sometimes mixed into a casserole or with a sauce that dd doesn't like, but there are times when it's just been chicken breast or turkey.

Well that all sounds like a good start. You feel pretty exposed while you are getting your food, standing while most people are sitting, and possibly making the people behind you wait for you. She's probably feeling a bit rushed. That will probably get better with time and then she might be more willing to take the time to figure out the dressings. It sounds like the staff is on the lookout for the people who need help. That is promising!

 

 

Nan

[Nan in Mass]

Don't forget that there is usually counseling available, too, ghe mental health sort. My husband and I used them when we were in college and were worried about how well oldest was going to make the adjustment to college. At orientation, we actually approached the counselor at one of those parents-meet-the-staff sessions. He was glad to talk to us, got oyr son's name so he could look out for him, and gave us his number so if we got an upset phone call we could pass it along. He couldn't approach a student - the student had to contact him, but he told us how to direct our son to find him if need be. He suggested tbat we bring our son back to be introduced. Our son thought that was a great idea and we did. And oldest contacted hom when he hit a rough patch. Middle one was at the same college and also availed himself of his services. You can be sure that for youngest, who is even more high strung, we got the counselor's phone number into both his and our phones when we dropped him off. I never actually had to give any of my children the phone number of the counselor. I did get distraught phone calls and suggest visiting the counselor, but my children were in good enough shape to get the phone number themselves, thank goodness. All three used their counselors on a number of occasions. Mostly, the counselors were good at soothing them. My children mostly knew what they needed to do. The funny part is that we aren't a counselor-y family. My husband and I haven't seen one since college. The transition to adulthood is really hard.

 

Nan

 

Eta sorry anout all the typos. I have a terrible time typing in my phone and correcting is even worse. I got the smart phone because oldest wanted to be anle to send me photos and I am still struggling with it months later. Loving the photos, though!

Edited September 8, 2017 by Nan in Mass

[8filltheheart]

nm

I read your post earlier and wanted to post to say YAY!!! Thrilled for your dd!!

[Ann.without.an.e]

I read your post earlier and wanted to post to say YAY!!! Thrilled for your dd!!

 

 

Thanks, 8, she's super excited.  I try to stay pretty low profile here and I thought it was maybe an invasion of her privacy somehow.  Questioning myself haha.  

Edited September 8, 2017 by Attolia

[JeanM]

Wow, no bed rails?  That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.  

 

That's what I thought too! Like what are they thinking?

 

 

[8filltheheart]

That's what I thought too! Like what are they thinking?

 

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1911839-bunk-and-loft-bed-dangers-p1.html  Huge discussion on this topic.

[lmrich]

My freshman had to come home because of the hurricane; college is closed Monday and Tuesday. Most of her friends were coming home too so she is out with her gang from highschool tonight. She told me about how she is organizing study groups for her harder classes. AND she got a A+ on her first paper!!!

[SanDiegoMom]

Bumping to see if there are any others that just started school on the quarter system.  We dropped off our daughter last weekend, 2300 miles away. She is trying, but it is so hard! She is a kid with high expectations of the school and a desire to make that perfect friend or two immediately, but the orientation activities are wearing her down (so much noise! So many people!) and the very first night her roommates went out to a frat party (she stayed home and started the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, lol)

 

So its been texts back and forth throughout the day of advice and commiseration.  One of my best friends wrote to her that her first few days were spent feeling "homeless", no place feeling like a safe haven, no connection with her roommates, and days just spent wandering around from cafe to cafe, library, etc, feeling existential and angsty.  I think that's exactly what she's feeling like now. And that classes can't start soon enough!

[Bootsie]

DS has been sick pretty much since classes started last month.  He has been seen at the university clinic three times.  First he woke up with extremely red, swollen, itchy eyes--allergies, but very uncomfortable. Then it developed into sore throat and congestion--so more allergy treatment.  That got worse so the third time they gave him a steroid shot.  Yesterday he had a horrible earache; he went to the clinic but they couldn't see him until today so he went to an urgent care and has an ear infection.  He is getting frustrated in that he just doesn't feel well enough to put as much effort as he would like into his classes (and he missed an exam in one class yesterday while he was at urgent care).  Not a good way to start off...

 

He has suffered from allergies off and on, but it has been manageable before.  I looked and the pollen count has been high where he is going to school--one of the pollens that is high is elm which he tested positive to when he was younger.  The levels he is being exposed to now are just higher than he has been exposed to because of the new location.  (I am also wondering if the carpet in the dorm is a contributing factor).

[snowbeltmom]

DS has been sick pretty much since classes started last month.  .

 

:grouphug:  That is rough.  I hope he feels better soon.

 

[quark]

So grateful to have this place to share. Kiddo has good buddies from the homeschool world but none who would actually trade math ideas to and fro on a regular, almost daily basis. Kiddo did not meet anyone like that even at a math program last summer. Now, finally, finally, after years of wishing for a friend like this, kiddo has a classmate who sends texts about math questions and random math thoughts. Since my child is not living in dorms this year, they communicate primarily in class and later, via text. It's so funny to see my usually texting-averse kid furiously typing math ideas on the tiny phone keyboard. I'm so excited for A and am keeping fingers tightly crossed that this will be a long lasting friendship.

 

So far there has been no need to explain anything else about age differences or why kiddo commutes from home. When math is your language, it's lovely to see that other things don't matter so much.