s/o Hair and Make-up...what example did you see growing up?

[GinaPagnato]

I was thinking about this as I read the threads on hair and make up. How much of how we treat those areas of life is influenced by what we saw growing up?

 

For example, my mom always had hair and make-up done. She never left home without tending to those aspects of her appearance. She always dressed well, her clothes were well-tailored, and although she didn't follow all the trends, she always looked current.

 

As I think about it, the same is true of her sisters and her mother, and I'm the same way.

 

What were your female role models like in terms of their appearance, and how did it affect what (if anything) you do to your hair, make-up, and clothing?

[Barb_]

At home, hair and makeup totally plain until thirty minutes before my dad got home which at the time struck me as weird. Years later I heard he'd had affairs, so then it's wasn't as weird.

 

For years when I had lots of little ones I'd go days without getting dressed, much less hair and makeup. I'd wear a pair of pajamas for 24 hours, shower and put on clean pajamas.

 

Now it's a relief to be able to take a little more care with my appearance and even buy myself new clothes when I feel like it. So I suppose she taught me that it's ok to let go and ok to pay attention.

[Spryte]

My mom is an artist.  She has always done her own thing, in her own way.  She wore make up and more, ummm, traditional clothes when she had to - for events usually involving my father - promotions, dinners, parties - but in her everyday life ... She wore paint spattered clothes, short no-fuss hair, and no make up.  For art shows - and there were many, at her high point 38 per year, she wore artsy clothes - not hippy skippy style but the kind that scream, "Artist!"  And make up.  

 

I always sort of admired the moms who wore make up and tailored clothes, but I wouldn't trade my crazy fun mom for any of it.   :)

 

I wear make up.  My style changes, but I tend toward artsy clothes, not trendy, definitely not tailored.  I live in comfy shoes - birks or converse - and I wear jeans most of the time these days.  My mom never wears jeans.  I guess I'm sort of a mix of my mom and the rest of the world.

 

 

 

 

ETA: for the last few minutes, I have been mentally singing, "I wanna be sedated" and didn't know why.  Now I see it must have been OP's avatar!   :lol:

Edited August 13, 2017 by Spryte

[Barb_]

:lol: It's been that kind of week. We could all do with a little sedation, I think.

[Spryte]

:lol: It's been that kind of week. We could all do with a little sedation, I think.

 

I know, right?  I thought I was just so in tune with, ummm, dealing with the anxiety of the past week that my subconscious was singing an appropriate song!   :laugh:   

 

Nope, I think it was the power of suggestion.  

 

Still, I'm adding it to our family play list for tomorrow!

[Crimson Wife]

My mom did not wear makeup and kept her hair cut short as a feminist statement, like how she kept her maiden name after marriage. As she got older, she softened her stance and started wearing light makeup (tinted moisturizer or CC cream, blush, lipstick, mascara). Can't remember exactly when she started- maybe in her 40's? I know she was definitely doing it by her late 40's since I would have her order me some stuff from her Mary Kay consultant when I lived near my folks. Still has a pixie cut since she doesn't like to fuss with her hair.

 

Most of the moms I knew growing up were very big into having a polished appearance with full makeup, big hair (this was the '80's), manicures, etc.

 

I started wearing makeup and coloring my hair as soon as I was allowed to, which was my 13th birthday. By the time I was in a college sorority, I spent probably at least an hour per day on getting ready. I was very insecure about being just average academically at my college after having been a "big fish in a little pond" in high school. So I decided that since I was no longer "the smart girl", I was going to make my identity be "the hot girl". Really I was the "cute girl next door trying WAAAAY too hard" :rolleyes: 

[Barb_]

Really I was the "cute girl next door trying WAAAAY too hard" :rolleyes:

Weren't we all? :lol:

[Rebel Yell]

My grandmother only wore Coty Airspun facepowder and red lipstick for very special events like weddings, and church.

 

My mom wore full makeup, pantyhose, girdle for work (full time office job, dad was home in disability so working wasn't by choice) and colored her hair to cover greys from 1972 until she retired or for weddings/funerals/church, and complained bitterly about having to wear it all. When she wasn't dressed up for public view, she wore some pretty ratty stuff.

 

I went to beauty school in 1987. I was an odd mix of a heavy metal new wave goth. I always had a hard time with my appearance, either complete slob or way overdone.

 

I have a daughter going to beauty school next month.

 

Today, I struggle to maintain balance. I try to wear comfortable but stylish clothes even just around the house. I have very sensitive skin, especially my face and scalp, so I can't use styling products. I keep my hair short, and since my curls have turned to weird waves I mostly straighten my hair, but not every day. Hair color makes my scalp a mess, but I love my grey. I wear tinted moisturizer and eyeshadow and brow pencil when I'm going out, and almost always black eyeliner, even if I'm just at home all day. I can only wear lipstick long enough to get my picture taken. Nails are evenly trimmed and filed, rarely polished, toes always have a nice pedicure.

 

My style is jeans or leggings, tunic tops or loose sweaters. Black skirt with a tunic top for dressier events. Church is casual. Mostly, I try to look clean and put together, but I am not ashamed to go out with no makeup and undone hair. I don't want my family to think they aren't important enough for me to dress up for, but I also don't want to be so dressed up that I can't or won't get messy.

 

My girls seem to be fairly well balanced. They can rock makeup, dresses, and heels... and the next day no makeup and sweats. They are always appropriately dressed for the occasion. They have been totally glammed out in full makeup just to watch a movie with the BF, and will also just hang out with no makeup and messy hair with him.

 

I'm happy that they're comfortable with themselves and their friends to not feel like they have to look a certain way.

Edited August 13, 2017 by Rebel Yell

[Wheres Toto]

My mother didn't wear makeup much.  She was a single mom, didn't date at all, and we were extremely broke.  Barely money for food definitely means no money for make-up or hair products.  

 

I was in high school in the big hair and blue eyeshadow 80's.  Still didn't fuss with hair or makeup.

 

My oldest is a mix.  She wears makeup fairly often but not all of the time.  She wore makeup for dance starting at 4 years old so I think it was never a big deal for her.

[Guest]

My mom almost always had on makeup and finished hair, but her clothes tended to be more casual unless she was going to an appointment. She made sure when I began experimenting with makeup and hair to help me and get me good products too and I thank her for it!

[GinaPagnato]

My mum always had nice hair, and make up for going out, but she wasn't crazy about it. I doubt she ever had a manicure in her life, for example. She never really pushed me to look any particular way. 

 

I am pretty much make up free, except for a tinted moisturiser at this point, because I just got so sick of it. She doesnt care one way or another. 

 

I don't really understand being or having a hair and make up role model. 

 

I don't mean being or having a hair/make up role model in a conscious way. More like, if your mom always wore full make-up, it might be the norm for you to feel like you're not ready for the day unless you too have make-up on. 

[GinaPagnato]

I know, right?  I thought I was just so in tune with, ummm, dealing with the anxiety of the past week that my subconscious was singing an appropriate song!   :laugh:   

 

Nope, I think it was the power of suggestion.  

 

Still, I'm adding it to our family play list for tomorrow!

 

 

:lol:

[wintermom]

My mom wore make-up and had her hair done at the salon pretty frequently when I was growing up, and she still does. She made me take a make-up course, took me to have my nails and eye-brows done.  I followed along with it, as it seemed the thing to do.  

 

After travelling to Norway and seeing all the girls around my age (about 20) with no make-up was wonderfully freeing for me. I dropped all the make-up hassle and have never looked back. My hair is functionally styled (for sports), trimmed twice a year, and not coloured. 

[lmrich]

My mom never left the house without makeup. She has worn her hair in the same for cut for 35 years and obesses over it. I am comfortable to be without make up and often go a year without getting my haircut as I can easily throw it in a ponytail. My sister is just like my mom. I have never seen her without makeup since we were teens. 

 

My mom and sister iron all their clothing and always look super clean and neat. They love the preppy look and spend $$ and time on their outfits. My neice and nephew are the same. My kids are NOT - t-shirts and athletic shorts just about every day. It is interesting...

[Guest]

My mom, my grandmother's and all my numerous aunt's all dressed to the 9s and turned out for Sunday church. We all did.

 

Outside of that, they all did their hair and makeup when they felt like it, didn't when they did not feel like it, and strutted around like they owned the place (every place) regardless.

 

I'd say it's a highly heritable trait ha.

 

One of them was bananas about skin care and fussed over my own routine too, for which I am forever grateful!

[Ellie]

I was thinking about this as I read the threads on hair and make up. How much of how we treat those areas of life is influenced by what we saw growing up?

 

For example, my mom always had hair and make-up done. She never left home without tending to those aspects of her appearance. She always dressed well, her clothes were well-tailored, and although she didn't follow all the trends, she always looked current.

 

As I think about it, the same is true of her sisters and her mother, and I'm the same way.

 

What were your female role models like in terms of their appearance, and how did it affect what (if anything) you do to your hair, make-up, and clothing?

 

Same here. Even if my mother and her friends dressed casually, there was some make-up, and the hair was always tidy.

 

I don't understand people who who look as if they threw their clothes in the air and ran under them. No judgement; I just don't understand. I'm dressed every morning, and I'm presentable :-) ; I wash my hair every morning; I wear a little make-up (and a necklace, earrings, rings, and watch) when I leave the house. I wear a full slip with a dress (or half slip and camisole), and unless I'm wearing strappy sandals, I wear pantyhose.

[Closeacademy]

All the women around me usually had hair and make-up done up while I was growing up and it seemed to be a big thing with most of the girls I knew. I'm allergic so no make-up for me. Whenever I would put anything on the top layer of skin would peel off--eyeshadow, lipstick, face powder, etc. So I have a bare face and usually keep my hair in a messy bun or long. When I dress up I will wear a fancy hair accessory usually bead or quill-work that I picked up in the 90's. 

[regentrude]

My mother always wore makeup. My grandmother who lived with us did not.

I don't wear any makeup.

[regentrude]

, and unless I'm wearing strappy sandals, I wear pantyhose.

 

shudder. Pantyhose is an invention of the devil. 

[SKL]

In my family it's mixed.

 

My mom wore some make-up, not much but at least lipstick every time she went out of the door or allowed people in.  She put effort into her hair and clothes also.  She also talked her appearance down, e.g. "I'm so fat," "I have a horse face" etc.  But she was attractive by most standards, I think.

 

My mom's 3 daughters:

• Oldest (me) - never worn make-up.  Cut my own hair most of the time, never color it.  Wear jeans and t-shirts whenever I can get away with it; rarely use a bra.  (But I do know how to do business and business casual when I need to.)  I do try to maintain my "figure" (not doing so good in recent years), and I ferociously battled acne up until a couple years ago (one good thing about menopause).  From teens to young adulthood, I used to spend a lot of time combing my hair (it was hopeless though).  All together - never had a chance of being a magazine cover, LOL.  Nor would I want to.
• Second - even less particular about appearance, possibly an outright rebel.  OK maybe not, she does try to choose clothes that work for her (she is heavy), and she does pay for haircuts.  But no make-up ever.
• Third - very interested in make-up since primary school.  Wears it everywhere, also colors her (already blond) hair, is very smart about clothes.

My own daughters are also a mix.

• First - 10yo - extremely interested in appearance (others' and her own) from hair to shoes.  Spends way too much time doing hair and nails.  Is smart about clothes and not too impressed with the way I dress.  :P
• Second - 10yo - not really interested in cosmetics, although she will occasionally play with the nail polish.  She has her own style with clothes, remembers to comb her hair most days.

[EMS83]

I ended up doing the opposite.  I grew up seeing make up, hair, planned outfits, coordinating jewelry.  Nothing flashy or gaudy, but definitely all carefully done.  From little, I never liked dresses and bows and preferred jeans and t-shirts.  I do like wearing skirts now, but I'm still a denim girl.  Twill is dressy to me.  :D  No make up, jewelry, or hairstyles.  I did like jewelry in my teens, but in a crazy-funky-goth sort of way (I'd layer several necklaces from collar down to sternum-level pendants, for example).  Now I literally just wear my wedding ring and a ponytail holder on my wrist.  What I am very particular about are the cuts and patterns of my clothing, so there is that.

[Tap]

My family is highly critical and if you didn't look perfect you were teased.  Hair, full face make up, ironed outfits, and coordinating shoes we expected.  I was a teen in the 80s so dark makeup and big hair.  I used to iron everything, even my layering tank tops, incase I had to take of the top layer and someone might see a wrinkle.  Jeans and every item of clothing (except underwear) were freshly pressed daily.  We only had 1 bathroom for a large family so every girl had a full sit-at make up vanity in thier bedroom and my mom used to sit at the dining room table every day to 'get her face on'.  All my sisters color/perm/curl/straighten their hair. 

 

It took me about 45 minutes to get ready for school after my shower (I didn't wash my hair every day).

My sister sister closest in age to me would take a solid 2+ hours (including her shower) every day to get ready. 

 

 

I stopped about age 40.  I had tapered wayyyyy down over the years and was ready in 45 minutes including my shower as an adult. But now it is even less. I don't wear makeup  or straighten my hair unless it is a special occasion.  I  I rarely iron now and tend to buy fabrics to don't really need it. My every day clothes are PNW casual. I have a few pieces of makeup, but usually have to borrow from dd18 to fill in the gaps. I have long straight hair.  I cut my hair myself so it is a basic bang/long layer cut.  I look pretty old and haggard with heavy scowl lines in my forehead now. It would talk a lot more than a bit of makeup and hair color to save me now. LOL

Edited August 13, 2017 by Tap

[Storygirl]

I grew up in the 70s and 80s. My mom always curled her hair with electric rollers and wore make up every day. She also loved clothes, shoes, coats, and handbags. She used a lot of beauty products -- all from Estee Lauder --- but her lipstick was the most important to her. She would reapply it regularly throughout the day, and it was usually red.

 

I also curled my hair with rollers and curling irons and wore make up, starting in junior high. I definitely spend less time on it now and have a less complicated hair-do (no more 80s feathered hair!!), but I still take a few minutes to use a curling iron on my hair in the morning, and I wear light make up. Unlike Mom, I tend to skip lipstick and only wear it once a week or so. If I had to choose only one make up product (other than foundation to even out my skin tone), it would be eyeliner. Mom, on the other hand, rarely wore eyeliner.

 

My sister has never cared about styling her hair other than washing, drying, and combing it and maybe using a little gel. She does not wear make up.

 

Same mom. I don't know that either of us was influenced a great deal by her -- I was probably more influenced by what my peers were doing with hair and make up.

[Elizabeth86]

My mom never wore make or did her hair. She was all natural and plain jane and Im the same way. My older sister however is the type to dress up and do hair and make up and spend an hour getting ready to go anywhere. I havent had make up on in 10 years.

[Audrey]

My mom mostly kept her hair neat, about shoulder length. She would either wear a headband or tuck it behind her ears.  She didn't wear make-up except when going out socially, and then only a bit of powder and lipstick.  We lived in FL most of my childhood, and she wore mostly shorts or light-weight slacks (I remember a lot of linen), and tee shirts or cotton blouses. She was always neatly groomed and dressed.  But, she also had classic, beautiful features and wasn't the kind of woman who needed to make much of an effort to look lovely.  She was also quite free-spirited for her generation (pre-hippies or beatniks), and I think she took a bit of pride in not doing what was mostly expected of most of the women her age.  

Edited August 13, 2017 by Audrey

[MBM]

My mom wore lipstick but only rarely. Short, simple hair. Simple clothing mostly but occasionally would wear more eccentric things like her Egyptian caftan. lol

 

I wear Blistex and nothing else. My hair is about mid-back and I wear it straight or in a pony. I like skinny jeans/pants, t-shirts, sweaters. Easy, uncomplicated and comfortable.

[J-rap]

My mother always looked nice, wore a little makeup, and never looked sloppy.  She had a nice, neat appearance.  Her hair was always nice too, but simple -- she always did her own styling, even trimming it herself.  In all the years I was growing up, she never went to a hair salon.  She didn't talk about her appearance or fret about it, and she wasn't picky about how I looked.  This was in the 60's/70's.  Also, she would never, ever have stayed in her pajamas past 9am, and she never went out in public without earrings.  She is now 89 and her habits haven't changed.

 

I'm a mix.  I wear a little makeup, enjoy fun and comfortable and stylish clothing styles, like simple hairdos, minimal jewelry, and sometimes I stay in my pajamas until 11am and I only feel a little guilty.  :)  I never put appearance expectations (not intentionally, anyway) on my girls when they were growing up.

 

My dd's enjoy playing around with makeup, but might go days without it.  They like stylish clothes, but don't mind going out in their sweats or gym shorts.  They're not lazy at all, but on a Saturday they might spend all day in their pajamas.  They all like hairdos that are cute but easy and simple.  One of them just keeps it super short or sometimes shaves it altogether because she has learned that keeping up long hair is beyond her interest and abilities.

 

I guess, actually, we are pretty much alike in the amount of effort and importance we put into our appearance!  

 

 

[happi duck]

My late mum:

Red lipstick whenever she went out

Short, neat hair

Jewelry: earrings, wedding rings, necklace

 

Me:

Zero makeup

Hair past my waist

No jewelry, not even a wedding ring

 

What's funny is my mom and I were super close and I'm told I'm a lot like her!

[Liz CA]

shudder. Pantyhose is an invention of the devil. 

 

:lol:  An older friend recently told me that pantyhose is nothing compared with support / compression hose. Evidently it's like a vice grip.

[frogger]

See I thought it was generational. My mother wore lots of make up as did all her sisters. No one ever saw them "without their face on" as they said it. My step mom wore basic make up base, eye shadow, mascera, light blush. Unlike my aunt who also had a hair piece and fake eye lashes! I once saw her bringing her coffee into her powder room before she started her routine and I couldn't recognize her!

 

I throw my clothes on in the morning. I am quick about getting them out of the dryer so I don't have to iron but we are starting school at 6 in the morning when am I supposed to get up and spend an hour getting prepped for the day? As it is I'm up at 5:30. I need to get up at 4:30 and how am I supposed to fit in ahem extra spouse time and sleep time between 11 and 4 in the morning? No thank you. No time for make-up. I pic my hair when I shower but not everyday. Can't brush it as it's curly. My clothes don't fit properly. I need to find more but this week is booked like every week. For the last 6 months I've been checking out winter coats in the clearance. I also managed once on a night out with my husband last Christmas to look through all J.C. pennies coats (our biggest store). We have to accomplish stuff on our dates. It would not surprise me to just not have a coat for a few winters like my first 3 winters in Alaska much less find time to shop for dresses! I may give up and buy a men's coat.

 

I would love to look nicer but who has time for that. I struggle to fit in my excercise sporadically.

[Laura Corin]

My mother cut her own hair and wore no makeup. I get my hair cut monthly in a very short, stylish, easy care style. I wear tinted moisturizer and powder for work, sometimes lipstick. I rarely wear makeup otherwise.

 

My mother took no deliberate exercise, but she walked for transportation and worked in her garden. When she stopped smoking and put on weight, she started eating according to the Hay system, which she stuck with for thirty years. I exercise daily and eat a high veg diet.

Edited August 13, 2017 by Laura Corin

[Night Elf]

My mom always had her hair and make-up done that I remember. She even colored it herself. I remember because I would go play outside because the smell was awful! Even now, she won't go out without some make-up. She doesn't put on a full face anymore unless she's going to an event like a wedding or funeral. But for just running around, she wears light make-up. In fact, she told me now that I'm nearing 50, I need to start using make-up because older women without it look old and blah. Gee thanks mom. And no, I still won't wear any.

[Carrie12345]

For the most part, my mom did her hair and some make up when leaving the house.  She worked, so that was most days.  But we also grew up camping all summer and many off-season weekends, where she'd still do hair and make up some of the time, but not necessarily all day or every day. There were zero hang ups about any of it, except maybe when her hair got brittle from processing and curling irons and she had to switch to a gentler routine to preserve it. I know that freaked her out.

 

Other than trying to get me to hold off on make up and ear piercings before I was 13, she allowed me to do whatever I wanted with my appearance.  Looking back at pictures, I know it must have taken a lot for her not to say anything, lol.

 

My mom was more awesome than I gave her credit for.

[Guest]

Same here. Even if my mother and her friends dressed casually, there was some make-up, and the hair was always tidy.

 

I don't understand people who who look as if they threw their clothes in the air and ran under them. No judgement; I just don't understand. I'm dressed every morning, and I'm presentable :-) ; I wash my hair every morning; I wear a little make-up (and a necklace, earrings, rings, and watch) when I leave the house. I wear a full slip with a dress (or half slip and camisole), and unless I'm wearing strappy sandals, I wear pantyhose.

 

What is there to understand? Many people (almost all American men, for example), feel perfectly presentable in the bodies and faces God gave them.

[teachermom2834]

Absolutely no makeup. Hair kept short in a mom cut at a Super Cuts type place. No hair color at all. As a kid I had no help dealing with my hair which is kind of complicated. I had no help learning about makeup. I snuck out to the drugstore to look at it and felt so guilty. I remember when I wanted to start using conditioner in my hair as well as shampoo. I was allowed but my parents clearly thought I was silly.

 

It was hard. Any interest in looking nice or even pulled together was interpreted as shallow I guess. It was as though I was an idiot for wanting a decent haircut or to wear makeup. I got married at 21 and I don't like my pictures. It was like I was still an awkward middle schooler with no idea what to do with my hair. There would have been no thought of having my hair and makeup professionally done even for my wedding. Would never have dreamed of a mani/pedi.

 

I now keep my hair done. Nothing flashy but I cover my grey and keep up with cuts. I wear makeup every single day. Light makeup, nothing fancy or expensive but I would hardly walk to the mailbox without it. I got my first pedicure a few months ago (at 42). I do keep my toenails painted now but not my fingernails.

 

It was a very strange way to grow up. I still carry the baggage. I never really wanted to have a dd because of not knowing how to handle these issues. After 3 ds, I have a dd and of course she is wonderful. She is very girly and we had to tackle makeup at an early age because of dance recitals. I allow it and try not to attach any value to it that doesn't actually exist. It is just makeup for dance and it is fun. I let her paint her toenails when she was 7 or 8. That was difficult for me for no understandable reason.

 

It is such a strange thing to me to have such hang ups about. I am trying very hard not to pass those on to my dd and to set a more balanced example.

 

Oh- I was only allowed to get my ears pierced when I was 16. It was allowed but clearly disapproved of. Such a rebel I was!

[Julie Smith]

My Mom worked at a Jewelry store, so i assume she was always done up a bit for work. 

 

But it was not something I ever noticed. I never do my hair or make-up. 

[MommyLiberty5013]

Mom always did makeup in public. As did her mother. Grandpa was an exec with a large Canadian company. It was expected everybody looked the part.

 

When I was old enough, mom took me to the Clinique counter and had the lady there show me how to put it all on. High school for me was some foundation, basic eye color (no liner), mascara, cheek color, and lipstick.

 

Now I still do that all except cheek color when I do wear it.

[winterbaby]

My mom always wore eye makeup but acted like face makeup and lipstick was some inconceivable incomprehensible thing. Not sure what was up with that. As teens, I experimented with the full range of makeup and my sister did not. I eventually also settled on no makeup. There was never any sense that we had to do what mom did. We all have very straight hair that won't "do" anything so I'm not sure what my mom was even doing with her electric rollers, hair spray etc. - I think it was just a cultural habit from having grown up in a certain era and it did not pass down to us. We both just comb our hair. We both definitely got our conservative, classic/down to earth style of dress from her - I was a tall kid and started borrowing her clothes in grade school. I am raising my daughter to just comb her hair and take good care of her skin. I would not be comfortable with makeup until she is at least 16 and I would definitely discourage the type of heavy makeup that's trendy these days. It makes me sad to contemplate young women of my acquaintance who feel the need to apologize if they've "only" put on regular foundation instead of radically modifying their face with contour. My mom always wore earrings and pierced my ears when I was 12. Jewelry has never agreed with me and the holes ended up closing from disuse (but still visible) so I will probably have my daughter wait until 18 to make her own decision about piercing.

[SporkUK]

The women my grandmother's age tended to have very carefully done hair and makeup that was meant to be polished but unnoticeable. Similar to some of the natural makeup/hair movements of today where it's meant to look effortless and natural but really takes quite a bit of effort. They rarely made direct comments about their own or others' looks though my paternal grandmother & aunt would add cardigans and such to me if they didn't approve of what my mother had put me in. 

 

The women my mother's age were the opposite, though some of that I didn't notice until I was older like the more obvious hair dye with highlights and such  compared to my grandmothers but very obvious makeup and openly discussing the effort being made, lots of comments of about their own and others' appearances. I got much harsher judgements on my appearance by my mother and women of her age than I ever did from even my most ruthless peers. I spent a lot of my younger years being pressed into their ideas of femininity, first being convinced and forced to have my hair bleached and styled and makeup and latter a lot of mocking to push me into it (I still remember my mother almost chanting "cactus legs" at me for not shaving). Even after I stopped living with my mother, my father's partners all did the same thing. Interestingly, I think, they all liked using their skills on me but none ever thought they should teach me how to do it myself. 

 

Now, I have no idea how to do hair or makeup beyond the basics I've been able to do since elementary school. I occasionally wear chapstick when my lips hurt from the weather or a cold or want to try a new flavour. I spent almost ten years wearing a head covering pretty much full time (and often picked ones with my maternal grandmother as inspiration) partially because I didn't want to think about my hair anymore - though I was quite happy when it had grown out enough to cut the last of the dyed part off. I now just wear a long-enough-to-sometimes-sit-on ponytail with the max effort is when it's windy or otherwise likely to get frizzy to spray the front with water or leave in conditioner to wet where it gets wild down a bit.

 

I do think it's a mix of a reaction to my childhood where looks were just so important and so fake (in terms of looking "better" did not achieve any of the goals laid out such as being popular or that nice people look nice when everyone knew they were awful behind closed doors) as well as having made friends in my adulthood who either don't wear makeup or wear the natural style that's less noticeable so I rarely feel pressured to do so. In terms of my looks, I guess when I pay attention it's mainly focused on clothes or small accessories to dress up though I spent years basically just trying to cover my body and not think about it and not draw attention to it so in the last year or so when I've been working to change, I don't have much more idea about what I'm doing that with my hair. 

[AnnE-girl]

My mom wore very basic makeup for work (as a teacher) and to church. I don't remember if she wore it when she stayed home with us full time when I was younger. She always looked nice, but never wore full eighties makeup like a few of the moms at school. In spite of her sister trying to talk her into it for my wedding, she's never colored her graying hair.

 

My mom never really taught me about makeup, but allowed me to start wearing what I was comfortable with in high school. I wish I had learned about concealer sooner, but I developed a pretty easy Bobbi Brown makeup routine before going away to college. I found cheaper substitutes, and pared down from full foundation with eyeliner and mascara every day, to under eye concealer, bb cream, a little blush, and lip balm. It takes less than five minutes. I wear more for special events. I blow dry my hair if I'm going somewhere most of the time, but I don't have to do it like I did in college. I still haven't decided on starting to color my grays, although I plan to talk to my stylist about it when I go for my every six months cut in a few weeks.

 

I think I generally follow my mom in trying to look nice and a bit polished, but not flashy or trendy.

[Bluegoat]

I don't think my mom has ever gone out without hair and make-up done, and looking smart in an occasion appropriate way.  She generally wears make-up all the time, it's part of getting out of her pjs for her.

 

She doesn't look overly made-up, mind, she goes for very natural looking make-up.

 

Her mom, my Nana, was the same, she was a very elegant woman, always.  I remember her coming to bring me a lunch I had forgotten at school, and my friends were all agog.  She was very beautiful as a young woman and did her best to maintain her looks as she became older.

[Audrey]

I don't think my mom has ever gone out without hair and make-up done, and looking smart in an occasion appropriate way.  She generally wears make-up all the time, it's part of getting out of her pjs for her.

 

She doesn't look overly made-up, mind, she goes for very natural looking make-up.

 

Her mom, my Nana, was the same, she was a very elegant woman, always.  I remember her coming to bring me a lunch I had forgotten at school, and my friends were all agog.  She was very beautiful as a young woman and did her best to maintain her looks as she became older.

 

I have a fond memory like that of my mom.  It was the first year my dad wasn't in the Navy and we went to a civvie school and my mom brought something I'd forgotten to school.  She had a big smile for me and I gave her a quick hug and thanks.  As soon as she left, my classmates were all chatty "that's your MOM?" Even the teacher said how lovely she was.  She looked like that every day.  Yeah, that was my mom.  :001_wub: 

[SparklyUnicorn]

My mom was big into hair/makeup/clothing.  Me?  Nope.  My sister?  Nope. 

 

My mother used to spend a lot of time on my looks when I was little.  I remember being burned a lot with curling irons and an ever present haze of Aqua Net.  She'd always buy the girliest dresses she could find for me until I picked out my own clothes.  She insisted I have long hair.  Now I don't do any of that.  Can't stand any of it.  My current goals are clean, comfortable, and easy.

 

 

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

My mom had great hair. Long, thick, and auburn. She just brushed it and it looked good. We lived in the boonies, so nobody bothered with make-up unless we "went to town." When we were older and mom worked, she always dressed up and wore make-up. Mom's always been cute and thin so she doesn't have to try that hard to look good. My 93-year-old grandma still doesn't leave the house without lipstick. She also got lucky with hair; even in old age it silvered. My dd has a gift for make-up and always looks nice whether we leave or not. She thinks doing hair and make-up is enjoyable and relaxing. She has hair like my mom's. It's beautiful.

 

Then there's me. I DO NOT CARE. Some days I make an effort, but it's so random. I "go to town" almost every day, so I'm not getting cute for it. Most days I'm in jeans or yoga pants, make-up free, and hair up. I have curly red hair. It does what it wants. Some days it looks nice and some days it looks crazy. I wear very light everyday make-up, but I have invisible eyelashes and eyebrows, so minimal make-up does have a big pay off. For dance shows I go full drag. You can't wear a sequin-laden costume and ignore hair and make-up. I bust out hot rollers for that so I can get big, loose curls instead of corkscrews.

 

Despite being surrounded by fashionable family and friends, I prefer ease and comfort :-)

[Catwoman]

I was thinking about this as I read the threads on hair and make up. How much of how we treat those areas of life is influenced by what we saw growing up?

 

For example, my mom always had hair and make-up done. She never left home without tending to those aspects of her appearance. She always dressed well, her clothes were well-tailored, and although she didn't follow all the trends, she always looked current.

 

As I think about it, the same is true of her sisters and her mother, and I'm the same way.

 

What were your female role models like in terms of their appearance, and how did it affect what (if anything) you do to your hair, make-up, and clothing?

Same here. Are we related? ;)

[mytwomonkeys]

My mom has always had short hair & wears very little make-up. I have long hair & wear make up, but it's very little time for me to apply (anything more than five minutes is too long imo). I'd say we are different but both low maintenance. My mom tends to dress trendy but comfortable, and I'd say I try to be the same.

 

My daughter has a huge kaboodle filled with make-up. She only buys expensive name brand from Sephora (while I'm a cheapie and wouldn't dream of what she spends). She wears full make-up and introduced me to wearing highlighter, (which I had no idea existed). She gets her nails done & brows waxed - while for me, that's a waste of money. She's very fashionable.

 

All that to say, I don't see too much influence from my mom to me or from me to my daughter.

 

All three of us are similar in personality though 😊

[IsabelC]

I'm very much like my mother, in that makeup is for a wedding or a special night out, not an every day thing. Similarly, doing hair just means it's clean and has had a brush or comb run through it. Likewise, clothes are bought to wear until they actually wear out. When the fabric starts developing holes, I have a new window cleaning rag and it's time to by a new top. I'd never buy anything fashionable, because then it would be unfashionable when I'm still wearing it ten years later. 
 

I have to confess that I still have to make an effort to avoid negative judgements of made-up / 'put together' people, but I have tried hard to be evenhanded with how I talk about things with my children.  I tell my girls that makeup is optional, but they can certainly wear it if they enjoy it. My Ms. 12 has done a 'full face' a few times, mostly for special occasions, and I actually bought her some makeup of her own, just because her skin isn't the same colour as mine, and she looked terrible with my foundation on. Ms. 9 has only worn makeup by way of face paint as I feel she is a bit young for 'real' makeup, but she isn't particularly interested in any case.  Mr. 14 had a brief try of makeup when he was much younger, and then settled into a standard male presentation (he does have waist-length hair, but wears it in the approved manly ponytail).

Edited August 14, 2017 by IsabelC

[amy g.]

My mother does not go anywhere without a full face of make up and her hair done. Her sisters were the same way. Both of my grandmothers were down right glamorous.

 

I wear a small amount of make up most of the time when I'm going out and never at home. I never do anything to my hair other than wash it.

 

My adult girls don't wear make up or fuss with their hair ever.

 

It just isn't a priority in my life.

[Catwoman]

I'm very much like my mother, in that makeup is for a wedding or a special night out, not an every day thing. Similarly, doing hair just means it's clean and has had a brush or comb run through it. Likewise, clothes are bought to wear until they actually wear out. When the fabric starts developing holes, I have a new window cleaning rag and it's time to by a new top. I'd never buy anything fashionable, because then it would be unfashionable when I'm still wearing it ten years later. 

 

I have to confess that I still have to make an effort to avoid negative judgements of made-up / 'put together' people, but I have tried hard to be evenhanded with how I talk about things with my children.  I tell my girls that makeup is optional, but they can certainly wear it if they enjoy it. My Ms. 12 has done a 'full face' a few times, mostly for special occasions, and I actually bought her some makeup of her own, just because her skin isn't the same colour as mine, and she looked terrible with my foundation on. Ms. 9 has only worn makeup by way of face paint as I feel she is a bit young for 'real' makeup, but she isn't particularly interested in any case.  Mr. 14 had a brief try of makeup when he was much younger, and then settled into a standard male presentation (he does have waist-length hair, but wears it in the approved manly ponytail).

Please don't think I'm being snarky, because I'm honestly just curious about why you might be inclined to judge made-up/'put together' people in a negative way. :confused:

[gardenmom5]

my mother sometimes did hair and make-up when I was very young.  many things changed.  she became depressed and eventually developed more severe mental illness - I paid more attention to clothes/hair/make-up than I recall her ever doing even when she was healthy.  that included  hot rollers and full make-up every day.

 

now - after my "eye-infection from hell" (my health has never been the same) - I don't do make-up.   I've started doing a subdued lipstick.  but anything more looks silly without eye make-up to balance it, and I'm too paranoid for that.

 

  I used to tri-foil my hair to cover the gray- but now I've embraced it.  (it actually looks platinum over gray).  it was too much nuisance when I just wear my hair up - as well as increasing frequency/expense.  I'd simply prefer to spend it elsewhere.  besides I hated the colored texture.   underneath was never foiled (still dark dishwater blonde) and is much much softer.    (my mother did some sort of wash-in  color until she died).   I have it long - because it is easy (and flattering) to simply pull it up - and I can't stand super short hair.   anything less would have to be cut every 4 - 6 weeks, and styled every day to look good.  (my hair is too hot.  my mother always had short hair.)

 

between kids and being broke - I stopped wearing suits and silk blouses,  started just wearing jeans and t's.    I still wear jeans.  I have to force myself to buy more adult stuff.  my mother ordered her clothes from cheap old-lady frumpy catalogs. when I lived at home - no one would have called her stylish.