scrapbookbuzz Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Good morning, all! Welcome to the Lounge! Read all your chatter in yesterday's lounge this morning! LOL Moonhawk, glad you made it in while some other folks were still here! Today's theme stems from the fact that I am truly a displaced teacher. Not in regards to teaching, but where I live. I enjoyed not being in the low desert yesterday! Stopped by a couple of different herb stores up north. Only two out of the four that I've discoverd "up yonder" since Sunday are worth going to again, I think. But where I REALLY need to be is somewhere ensconced among the trees! Oh, how I miss the forest! Anyone else feel like they're in the wrong place? Here: see above. Anyone have no clue how to make the change? Here: :seeya: What do you do to maintain your sanity while trying to figure out how to make that change? Here: I often look at listings on realtor.com :D Talk to me! :bigear: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I know how you feel about visiting a place and feeling somehow "right." It could be part of our long-term memory that recognizes smells, sights and sounds and triggers memories. It doesn't mean you have to move there and be there permanently. Visiting is nice, too. I was just visiting Lake Ontario, and the water in the wind smell brought back some wonderful childhood memories of our cottage on the lake. I'd love to be able to spend more time on the water. The mountains are wonderful, too. I can get local boreal forest smells, fortunately, which keep me happy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I am in the wrong place. Don't get me wrong, I have a major love affair with the Great Lakes. BUT, we don't fit in here, especially in this particular local community, and our desire to leave gets stronger by the minute. However, due to having one poverty stricken mother here, and another who is not poverty stricken by any stretch but also still limited enough to not be able to move to a higher cost of living, we feel very, very stuck. It is hard to maintain sanity. I will say what has worked for us: We left my mom's church. It was becoming increasingly legalistic and anti-education. Leaving that and declaring NO home church while regularly bouncing around between an Episcopal church near ds's campus, and a progressive United Methodist Church closer to home, has been a help. We can have some fellowship, enjoy the worship, but are not around enough to get "involved" if that makes sense. The not getting involved part is important because churches here very much mix politics with religion, and they go on the war path if you aren't "the right kind". By not making connections deep enough to become embroiled in church politics, we avoid all of the other mess too. I used to feel lonely, not having IRL connections. But I am actually quite okay with it now. We travel as much as we can to get a mental break. We splurged and spent some money on season tickets to the DSO and season passes to some favorite museums in order to get out of the area, out of the rut, and enjoy some educational stuff that we've been isolated from for a while. So we drive a good distance, but that is okay. We also stay very involved in our college boys' institutions. One is 90 minutes away, and one is 3.5 hours. We go for special events and such, sometimes I volunteer. We stay crazy busy with 4H which means that while stuck, we are at least making a major contribution to the wider community and fighting for the kids who really want to learn. We make plans for the future. When the grandmoms can no longer age in place and need nursing homes, we will leave the area for one that better suits us and has good nursing homes nearby...something we don't have here for sure. We have some ideas where we'd like to be and are narrowing it down so that when it looks like we should get on the waiting lists for rooms for them, we will be prepared. I will be mentoring teachers and students in STEM on Wednesdays in an almost local school district - one hour drive. I am looking forward to the outlet. When our youngest graduates in May, I will have the summer off to spend with all three boys which is nice, but come fall, I will have four days per week of this work. Once the last one graduates, it might be possible to move even if the grandmothers cant technically afford it because with my income and no college bills, our retirement pretty well fully funded, we might be able to afford a granny cottage for them, and a house for us in the areas we are looking to move to with the granny house being in our name and becoming a rental when they are no longer living there. I HOPE it works that way. I kind of cling to that hope because it means only five more years of spinning our wheels here if ds graduates college in the standard four years. I figure that with taking on the job, running around between three college campuses since it isn't likely that he will land at one of his brother's institutions, doing things for the grandmothers on the weekend, and retiring from 4H in order to travel whenever possible, the time will fly. Please let it fly! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 (edited) I am in the wrong place. I never intended to live in a small town in the Midwest, far away from mountains or desert, and two hours from the nearest larger town. I grew up in an 800 year old city of 500,000 population and museums, theaters, opera house, professional orchestras. Compared to that, the local area is culturally impoverished. I miss the rcck climbing we had close by. There will be no way to change location until we retire, because this is where our jobs are. They are not portable. We travel as much as we can and have gotten pretty good about powering through the 14 hour drive until we get to the mountains. We drive four hours for rock climbing on many weekends. And we enjoy the local outdoors as much as possible, even if it's not real mountains. We are out every weekend. We take advantage of all the cultural offerings and drive two hours to the opera, but that does get old and seriously affects the enjoyment of an evening out, if you have to drive 100 miles back in the night. Edited August 10, 2017 by regentrude 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I like where we live. Dh mentions moving from time to time - not because he doesn't like it here but because of the high cost of living here. And because he's been asked to consider some ministry opportunities elsewhere. But right now would be a really difficult time to move because of our kid's life stages. And while I think that I could adapt to other places, the physical job of packing up a house and moving would be very difficult for me. So we stay and I'm happy with that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth86 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Kind of. I'm in the right area generally, but in a tiny house in a neighborhood and I belong in a huge house alone in the woods or on a farm. lol. The only way I can change that is more money and right now thats not happening. Perhaps I might fine a large suitcase of money??? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Another thing I'm realizing this morning is how much I thoroughly enjoyed NOT using the computer yesterday! I've spent too much time on here this morning already and my eyes and brain are complaining! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I love where I live! No intention to move away, ever. (Though realistically, I know we might move to be near adult kids and grandchildren someday. And I could be a snowbird for sure. I love the ocean and hate February.) My mom and all of dh's family are here. This is my home in a way that no place else has ever been. I love the ocean and I like the mountains. We get there often enough. Beautiful hills, lakes and rivers here. 4 seasons. We have lots of good cultural things (not NYC, but still very good), reasonable cost of living, a great church and sweet friends, great homeschool helps (tutorials, free cc dual enrollment, aforementioned cultural things, public and university library systems), lots of local biodiverse/beyond organic farms, a decent airport and excellent medical care (big b/c dh has a serious neuro condition). I am sorry you don't like your place, Scrap! :grouphug: Come to Music City! :thumbup1: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 In the wrong place: No, but I do find when I'm visiting somewhere it just always seems so lovely, but then I remember it's really because I'm focusing on the here and now and generally with close friends or family with no day to day drudgery that would come with actually going to that place. I think there's a deep lesson to be learned in that feeling, though. While the day to day stuff is definitely necessary maybe we (I) don't focus on the here and now and the important people quite enough. Honestly, though, I never wanted to stay in MD/VA for so many reasons. I wanted to be in San Antonio. Eventually we got here. And I love it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Kind of. I'm in the right area generally, but in a tiny house in a neighborhood and I belong in a huge house alone in the woods or on a farm. lol. The only way I can change that is more money and right now thats not happening. Perhaps I might fine a large suitcase of money??? Agree with everything you are saying. I hope we find our suitcases soon. I would love to live closer to mountains and the ocean. But I love so much about where we live. We could move any place we want. The only thing that is really keeping us here is a activity for the kids that I don't think we would find elsewhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Another thing I'm realizing this morning is how much I thoroughly enjoyed NOT using the computer yesterday! I've spent too much time on here this morning already and my eyes and brain are complaining! Oh yeah Taking a break from screens is so nice. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Overcast days are hard here, too, because we get them so rarely! I just wish it would RAIN already, if it's going to be overcast, anyway! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonhawk Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Displaced: okay, how much time do you have? *drags in therapy couch* lol j/k I love the desert. I was born here, I came back to here, I am a desert rat. As a kid, the books I identified with in terms of place were by Byrd Baylor, though my part of the desert is more green than a lot of those paintings. The best smell in the world is my desert's rain. I missed the desert when I was gone. Natural disasters are low here compared to other parts of the country. And snow?, yeah, no thanks. 4 seasons of warmth is fine by me. But. This is not the area for musicians. Our careers have suffered. I'm fine being a hermit, but so many missed opportunities. The highest point of culture in my town is my refrigerator. Tucson and Phoenix offer some, but it's not paradise for opera/symphony buffs. The prices are going up. I was on the thread about "where should i move" and looked at houses for Dayton OH for HOURS in shock at, even if they were fixer uppers, what house you could get for literally less than half my mortgage. And I'm not in a showcase. So. I'm conflicted. I can't see myself staying here forever, it is too stifling. But my heart breaks at leaving the desert. The next place I'd like to be is Northern California, which is cold and rainy and green, but I did enjoy it up there quite a bit. And Dayton OH is close to relatives and much closer to, well, anything, lol, than I currently have. But...why can't the world just come to me? My current "compromise" is entertaining dreams of RV'ing for a couple of years around the US, then coming back here. But idk if that addresses my long term problems. Le sigh. Anyway! Problems for another day. It's the rainy season and it is hard to comprehend leaving during the rainy season. These are thoughts for September and October. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted August 11, 2017 Author Share Posted August 11, 2017 Moonhawk, it's only "rainy season" (aka Monsoon) for parts of the valley. We happen to live in a pocket, where the weather hits a high pressure system and skips right around us. We very rarely get rain this time of year. Or, if we do, it's during the middle of the night when we can't enjoy it because we're all sleeping. I will admit, however, after the amazing spring (can you say Super Bloom?) we had this year, I am looking forward to NEXT spring and being much more aware of medicinal desert plants and harvesting many, many more than I did this year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonhawk Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 True, the rain does tend to be selective in it's placement. :) I'm lucky that in my part, the rain is consistent enough. I think it's because I am closer to a mountain range, and not smack dab in the middle of a valley (and our valley is definitely smaller than what Phoenix is in). For being relatively near each other, Phoenix and Tucson have a big difference in their feel of location, if that makes any sense. I do think, though, this monsoon has been unusual. Also, pro of being in the desert is that I my black thumb is not as noticeable as it would be in a place where plants are meant to live easily :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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