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Moxie

I'm so tired of being the nice neighbor

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I don't want to start a war with my neighbors but why do I have to be nice and tolerate their stupid dogs crapping in my yard?!? I've talked to them. They will keep the dogs in for a week and then back to normal. My 5yo just came in with poop on her new school shoes. I'm tired of being nice.

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What crappy neighbors. (Pun totally intended.)

 

Any chance that a fence is in the budget?

 

Is there some sort of high pitched device you can point at the dogs to discourage them from coming around?

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Yes, there are laws.

No, a fence isn't possible or I would have done one years ago. We live on a cul-de-sac and our driveway cuts through the front and side. If I could put in a reverse invisible fence and shock the little shitters, I'd do it in a second.

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I think I'd quit being nice and would seriously contemplate taking the shoes over for them to clean while I glared at them (if I were 100% positive it was their dogs).

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I've done several of those but you have to keep re-applying and I don't have that kind of time.

 

Did they work at all? I ask for the benefit of others lurking here who may want to know if they are a waste of money.

Edited by HoppyTheToad

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Did they work at all? I ask for the benefit of others lurking here who may want to know if they are a waste of money.

Honestly, not that I noticed.

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I think I'd quit being nice and would seriously contemplate taking the shoes over for them to clean while I glared at them (if I were 100% positive it was their dogs).

Yes I would be marching over there with the crap covered shoe.

 

Do the dogs come over unattended? I'd call animal control.

 

Do the people escort them over to mess your property? Photos and suggest a trespassing charge.

 

Ok that's mad seasider talking. But I really do think I'd knock on the door with that shoe and ask if they know what the going rate for carpet cleaning is, because you will be sending them the next bill for it.

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I don't want to start a war with my neighbors but why do I have to be nice and tolerate their stupid dogs crapping in my yard?!? I've talked to them. They will keep the dogs in for a week and then back to normal. My 5yo just came in with poop on her new school shoes. I'm tired of being nice.

 

We went through something similar with our neighbors.  We were tormented by their dog for over a year and were way too nice about it, but we ended up being the bad guys - they called us assholes.  We should have reported them multiple times but never did.  Some people are absolutely ridiculous.

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You could always warn them that the next time you find dog poop in your yard you will helpfully place it by their front door.

 

And then do so.

 

Yes, I'm mean like that.  But few people mess with me.

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My father used to hang out the 2nd floor window with a BB gun when the neighbors dog visited his back yard. The dog learned quick enough. YMMV.

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You should not have to deal with this but I will be blunt.  Since you have already tried the nice approach with the neighbors and have not gotten anywhere, your choices are:

 

1. Keep the peace with the neighbors and put up with it.  Either clean it up yourself or deal with the mess.

 

2. Don't put up with it  and tick off the neighbors. Less than this has caused escalating hostilities between neighbors.

 

3. Sell the house and move.

 

Our choice is to clean our yard ourselves. It's not "fair" but it's the option we choose.  I've had experience living beside a neighbor who had it out for us.  I don't wish that on anyone.

 

 

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You should not have to deal with this but I will be blunt. Since you have already tried the nice approach with the neighbors and have not gotten anywhere, your choices are:

 

1. Keep the peace with the neighbors and put up with it. Either clean it up yourself or deal with the mess.

 

2. Don't put up with it and tick off the neighbors. Less than this has caused escalating hostilities between neighbors.

 

3. Sell the house and move.

 

Our choice is to clean our yard ourselves. It's not "fair" but it's the option we choose. I've had experience living beside a neighbor who had it out for us. I don't wish that on anyone.

That is exactly where we are. Sucks.

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Shit, shit, shit.

We cleaned off the shoes but my 5yo is still refusing to wear them.

I hate those effing dogs.

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motion activated sprinklers?

 

Having already spoken, I would say nothing more. I'd pick up the shit and spread it across their front step in the middle of the night. If they start questioning the neighbors where it came from suggest one of those doggy dna kits that swanky neighborhoods require now. 

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Is the dog collared? Is it the whole family who is doing this? Or kids at home while parents are gone are letting Fido out?

 

You could get it every time it's in your yard. Bring it to their door. Or if you have their number you could call every time and say, "Fido escaped again. Can you come get him?" Six calls like that per day will hopefully send the message. Then hand them their dog and its crap.

 

If they refuse to get a fence, then they should get a run or some lawn clip to attach the dog to while it's outside.

 

Or a phone call or letter, "Dear Neighbor, we'd like to keep a decent neighborly relationship. We are trying our best. However, your dog repeatedly going on our yard is troublesome. We have discussed this before, but nothing seems to be helping long term. We are having shoes ruined. Please take action to fence in or tie up your dog securely while it is outside. Here is when you dog came over to use the bathroom on our lawn (dates included). We hope you come up with a solution."

 

Then wait three weeks. Keep track of any bathrooms in your yard. After three weeks call animal control.

Edited by MommyLiberty5013
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Actual electric fence, if you don't have an HOA or something barring their use. Use stakes and put it just about the height of the dog's chest. Get one that's safe for birds, etc. I used a battery-powered one in a part of the yard I wanted my dogs to stay out of, but I didn't want to run an extension cord. It worked very well. Once they got used to it, I didn't even have to keep it on.

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Actual electric fence, if you don't have an HOA or something barring their use. Use stakes and put it just about the height of the dog's chest. Get one that's safe for birds, etc. I used a battery-powered one in a part of the yard I wanted my dogs to stay out of, but I didn't want to run an extension cord. It worked very well. Once they got used to it, I didn't even have to keep it on.

Good idea.

My grandparents had this around part of one of their pastures when I was a kid. I don't think it had an extension cord though. It was long.

Edited by Diana P.

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You should not have to deal with this but I will be blunt.  Since you have already tried the nice approach with the neighbors and have not gotten anywhere, your choices are:

 

1. Keep the peace with the neighbors and put up with it.  Either clean it up yourself or deal with the mess.

 

2. Don't put up with it  and tick off the neighbors. Less than this has caused escalating hostilities between neighbors.

 

3. Sell the house and move.

 

Our choice is to clean our yard ourselves. It's not "fair" but it's the option we choose.  I've had experience living beside a neighbor who had it out for us.  I don't wish that on anyone.

 

Yeah, I kind of think those are the main options.  Personally, if I was not going to move, I would go for #1.

 

Though - I can think of one other possibility.  Would one of your kids be willing to pooper-scoop both yards once or twice a day, for a fee?  You could offer their services to the neighbour.

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Actual electric fence, if you don't have an HOA or something barring their use. Use stakes and put it just about the height of the dog's chest. Get one that's safe for birds, etc. I used a battery-powered one in a part of the yard I wanted my dogs to stay out of, but I didn't want to run an extension cord. It worked very well. Once they got used to it, I didn't even have to keep it on.

Won't work. It is hard to explain the shape of the yards. And our driveway cuts across the front and to the side. Hard to explain, just trust that it won't work. And that would be a hostile act. My only choice if I want to maintain a decent relationship is to deal with it.

 

The dog jumped on another neighbor's window and broke it yesterday so I'm guessing he'll be tied up for a week.

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I wouldn't suggest smearing their houses with it. We had a crazy neighbor who thought our dogs (always leashed on walks) were pooping in his yard. He would curse and threaten us. One morning we came out to him throwing it at our house and cars. Called the police, who offered to arrest him. The police showed him the difference in size between German Shepherd mix and Lab mix poop (our dogs) and the tiny poodle size poop he was freaking over. He still never believed it wasn't our dogs. Even when the other neighbor's poodle came running through to see what was happening. Crazy bastard.

 

Anyway, if you don't have dogs, I'd look into the sonic deterrents for animals or the electric fence or ask if they are going to pay for a poop shoveling service daily in your yard.

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The dog broke a neighbor's window on top of it? Yikes. So it's doing real damage beyond just poop in the yard.

 

I'd be ticked, too, about the situation. If, as you've said, you've already approached them nicely, here's what I'd consider doing ONLY if I were willing to deal with the inevitable ugly fallout.

 

If I had an HOA, I'd see if they could be of any help before contacting the city. If not and there were laws against this kind of thing, I'd contact the city code enforcement officer or whomever deals with such issues so that I had a name, date, and record of my call. I'd make sure they knew this isn't an occasional issue and that it's causing really inconvenience to your family. I'd find out what options, if any, I had and what I'd need to do to "prove" that there's a problem. I'd see if the city would contact the neighbor. If not, I'd send a polite certified letter with a copy of the ordinance(s) so that the neighbor was made aware of the law and the penalty for flouting it. Next, I'd borrow or buy a camera to record the dog doing its business or doing other mischief and ask the ordinance to be enforced. If the dog is there unattended, I'd call animal control. Every time. If nothing else, maybe persistence would help.

 

If other neighbors are having similar issues, it might get more attention from those empowered to enforce the ordinances if the complaint were a group one. That's harder to shuffle off than a complaint by an individual neighbor.

 

I wouldn't put poop on their doorstep (tempted though I would be) simply because I would not want to give the bad neighbor ANY grounds to complain about my actions in this situation.

 

I'm sorry your neighbor is such a turd.

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I wouldn't suggest smearing their houses with it. We had a crazy neighbor who thought our dogs (always leashed on walks) were pooping in his yard. He would curse and threaten us. One morning we came out to him throwing it at our house and cars. Called the police, who offered to arrest him. The police showed him the difference in size between German Shepherd mix and Lab mix poop (our dogs) and the tiny poodle size poop he was freaking over. He still never believed it wasn't our dogs. Even when the other neighbor's poodle came running through to see what was happening. Crazy bastard.

 

Anyway, if you don't have dogs, I'd look into the sonic deterrents for animals or the electric fence or ask if they are going to pay for a poop shoveling service daily in your yard.

We had something like this happen. I will admit our dog was an escape artist but at the time he had not escaped in months. We got a letter from the HOA that said a neighbor was complaining about our dog pooping in their flower beds. Being that our dog was in and I didnt know which neighbor complained, I ignored it. A week later someone dumped a bucket full of dog crap in our driveway.

The thing is, it was tiny poodle poo. Our dog is 40lbs. I'm pretty sure the neighbor across the street dumped the crap in our drive. Im also pretty sure the poo was coming from the poodle up the street as I watched the owner walk their dog into this yard daily.

Edited by MaeFlowers

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Is it the dog right next door? I'd be tempted to toss the piles into their yard in the same spot, creating a big pile. Causes you work, but might make a point.

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motion activated sprinklers?

 

Having already spoken, I would say nothing more. I'd pick up the shit and spread it across their front step in the middle of the night. If they start questioning the neighbors where it came from suggest one of those doggy dna kits that swanky neighborhoods require now. 

 

Swanky neighborhoods require dna testing now?  why?  Is it to ban dangerous breeds or do people really identify poop with it?

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I would be so steamed. I agree with the previous poster about getting evidence of the dog breaking the laws and getting the HOA or animal control involved. That kind of assholishness just makes me crazy and I feel for you, OP.

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Swanky neighborhoods require dna testing now? why? Is it to ban dangerous breeds or do people really identify poop with it?

I saw a story some months ago on how neighbors were required to register their dogs and then when errant poop was found it was sent to a lab to see who was irresponsible. Yeah, a little extreme, but I guess it was in response to the people who insist on proof that their dog did it (even when they know it was their dog).

 

Crazy, but I get it. We had a family a while back not picking up after their dog. Everyone knew it was them. We couldn't really do anything. They moved. No one misses them.

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If they broke another neighbor's window, it sounds like you aren't the only neighbor annoyed (to put it mildly).  Can those of you affected band together and check with your HOA and/or city codes person to see what can be done?  Sometimes it takes a group effort for someone to see how annoying they are.

 

There's a time to be nice, and there's a time for others to do what is right.

 

The time to be nice is the first time it happened and/or if the dog truly accidentally escaped once in a while.  This is past that.

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Won't work. It is hard to explain the shape of the yards. And our driveway cuts across the front and to the side. Hard to explain, just trust that it won't work. And that would be a hostile act. My only choice if I want to maintain a decent relationship is to deal with it.

 

The dog jumped on another neighbor's window and broke it yesterday so I'm guessing he'll be tied up for a week.

 

I trust that it wouldn't work for your yard, but I don't understand the bolded. Is that your personal opinion or some legal definition or something? I didn't think of it as hostile. You're creating a barrier, that's all. Just curious.

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How frustrating.  Apart from being more aggressive with the neighbors and/or calling animal control, could you plant a low hedge or shrubs around the boundaries of your yard?  Or put up low wooden fencing, just enough to create an obstacle for the dog (an inexpensive picket-fence look)?  I've seen some vinyl ones at places like Home Depot I think.  

 

But boy, I'd be pretty mad.  The dogs are just on their own running around?

 

 

 

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Actual electric fence, if you don't have an HOA or something barring their use. Use stakes and put it just about the height of the dog's chest. Get one that's safe for birds, etc. I used a battery-powered one in a part of the yard I wanted my dogs to stay out of, but I didn't want to run an extension cord. It worked very well. Once they got used to it, I didn't even have to keep it on.

I think this is what I would actually resort to, if your own kids can learn to steer clear of it.

 

ETA nvm, saw your response to this upthread.

Edited by Seasider

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We are finding ourselves in the same position. We recently bought a new house, and didn't know until after the fact that the neighborhood culture seems to be allowing dogs to roam free. It's a small neighborhood of about ten houses, each on an acre or so. No one has any fencing, and our yard set up sounds similar to Moxie's, where it would be challenging to figure out a way to fence. If it were just one neighbor, it would be one thing, but since everyone else seems to be fine with this, that poses a real challenge for us. Besides finding waste in our yard, we have a dog of our own doesn't like other dogs, and we have one child with a real fear of them. We really like the neighbors, they're all very nice people, so it's hard to be the new people and be trying to institute a change like this. We don't want to make waves my off and create hard feelings. We're not sure what to do.

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Wouldn't work in the city or suburbs, but the old, "Shot, Shovel, and Shut-up" solves many dog problems.

 

I sure hope you aren't serious with someone's pet.  No one rural I know of would do this to anyone's pet.  We use the motto for potentially rabid animals or other nuisance critters, but never someone's pet (or possibly a pet).

 

If you're serious...  :svengo: the cruelty of some humans never fails to stun me.  It's very much like folks who swerve to purposely hit dogs or cats they see in or near the road.  I suspect there's a special place in _____ for them.

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Toy lazer trip wires. They sound a loud noise if the beam is broken but are harmless. The noise might startle and discourage the dogs from coming on your property. Sort of like the electric fence but less hostile feeling.

 

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Wild-Planet-Spy-Gear-Lazer-Tripwire/4066630

 

https://www.hobbychimp.com/products/spy-gear-lazer-defense-network?gclid=Cj0KCQjw5arMBRDzARIsAAqmJexxC_xN7WiZBhbh5eyrHRNoko86yTQonEJkQ_thRRR-noJU76zzyJ0aAhN6EALw_wcB

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Another option: Put a driveway alarm from Harbor Freight across the part of your lawn where the dogs access it.  Then you know they're out there and will be able to address the owners and demand they clean it up IMMEDIATELY.  Or alternatively, you can leash them on your property and take them to animal control.  In my town 3 times turned into the shelter means not only multiple $150 fines, but they are no longer allowed to retrieve the dogs at all.  They are blacklisted by all area shelters as well.

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Our neighbor does cat rescue and feeds cats from her front porch. Needless to say, we had an unpleasant fragrance, regularly updated, in the bark on our front entry and lawn. We got a motion-sensitive ultra-sonic device that has been quite effective. Put it in a corner of our yard that covered the problem areas and have had zero problems in the area it covers. And I've had at least one dog-walker in the neighborhood let me know her dog is sensitive to it. (We moved it a bit away from the sidewalk and that helped.)

 

So worth it!

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The PD here says call the nonemergency number, and the animal control person will contact the owners and remind them of leash law. They will receive a ticket and a fine for each violation after that, and the judge will require restitution for any damage plus the wasted Pd time. If anyone is bitten, save recepts for small claims court. Our neighbors ended up giving up the dogs they couldn't control.

 

Be glad its a dog. We have neighbors who leave food out for skunks and gophers. Nothing we can do about the damage they cause.

Edited by Heigh Ho
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Shit, shit, shit.

We cleaned off the shoes but my 5yo is still refusing to wear them.

I hate those effing dogs.

 

Edited by Hot Lava Mama

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Seriously, you should return the "package" back to them. The first "delivery" should be back in their yard, second should be on the walk in front of their door, and the final should be thrown roughly against their front door. They will get the message. They know what they are doing. I had to apply this method with our neighbors in our other house, and we only had to get to step one.

 

Not fair to you and your daughter. Time to take steps.

 

Good luck.

Idk. Vandalism seems like a bad way to maintain neighborly relations. Which is the goal.

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Are they concerned about preserving neighborly relations? It sounds like they're fine with being assholes.

They are nice people and our kids play together. In this area, yes, assholes.

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I sure hope you aren't serious with someone's pet. No one rural I know of would do this to anyone's pet. We use the motto for potentially rabid animals or other nuisance critters, but never someone's pet (or possibly a pet).

 

If you're serious... :svengo: the cruelty of some humans never fails to stun me. It's very much like folks who swerve to purposely hit dogs or cats they see in or near the road. I suspect there's a special place in _____ for them.

Who determines what is a nuisance critter?

 

What if you or a family member has a sevre allergy or fear of dogs or cats. First time the pet is in your yard you return it and ask they please not let it roam on your property. Second time you return it, or provide photographic proof of it on you land and restate your request. Third time you return it, or give more photographic prove. Forth time you call the local authorities and try to get them to deal with it. Fifth time, ... at what point does your right to enjoy your land trump your neighbors right to let their pet roam. Is it really my responsibility to build dog proof fencing to have a dog free yard?

 

This doesn't even take into account roaming pets damanaging property, attacking or menacing; people. pets, farm animals....

 

Sadly, not all pet owners are responsible pet owners, and the pets almost always pay the price.

 

My mom lives on 52 acres. She has a dog that doesn't roam far from her house. The neighbor at one point had three dogs. They came to her house and played with her dog. She didn't like having four large dogs running and chasing each other all around her house and near her at the time 5 young grandkids. She asked the neighbour to keep his dogs off her land. They would get out almost weekly. The neighbour admitted that my moms dog Never left its own property or even came near his land. But after about a dozen times of having the neighbors dogs show up the neighbor said. "They just have such fun playing together. I can't get my dogs to stay home. There is nothing I can do about it." The authorities wouldn't do anything about it unless someone got bitten.

 

 

Does that mean my mom should have to tolerate it? Should my mom have to find a way to secure her 52 acres from the neighbours dogs? Spend tons of money and time dealing with the problem? In the end the neighbor ended up moving away, but if they didn't I told her to just get hunter friend to SSS. At the time she wasn't willing to do it cause she is a major dog lover.

 

 

I don't swerve to hit animals on the road. I don't even eat animals. I pesonally don't even use kill mouse traps. The only animals i kill are insects who suck my blood. I have a weak spot for cats and would have no problem with your cat roaming my land or even back patio (and to be honest coming into my house for a visit). I don't own any animals because amoung other reasons, I would feel bad about forcing a cat to be an indoor cat, but even worse about letting it roam.

Edited by Julie Smith
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what seems to work most of the time in our neighborhood is for the homeowner to walk right up to the dog owner, hand them a poop bag and tell them pleasantly, cheerfully, but pointedly..."you missed some poo!"  and keep doing it every time.  Most people get shamed into doing the right thing, or at the least will stay off your lawn.  

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Who determines what is a nuisance critter?

...

At the time she wasn't willing to do it cause she is a major dog lover.

 

 

I don't swerve to hit animals on the road. I don't even eat animals. I pesonally don't even use kill mouse traps. The only animals i kill are insects who suck my blood. I have a weak spot for cats and would have no problem with your cat roaming my land or even back patio (and to be honest coming into my house for a visit). I don't own any animals because amoung other reasons, I would feel bad about forcing a cat to be an indoor cat, but even worse about letting it roam.

 

Generally, if you have to use the "shut up" part, you've done something wrong.  Period.  We know this when we kill suspected rabid animals and don't report it.  We don't have to be quiet about any groundhog kills.

 

Killing pets is wrong - period - unless they are acting aggressively.  Someone loves them and no matter how much you can be annoyed by them, you have no right to shoot them.  If they are biting or killing, then yes, we have free right to kill them (but are told to get pics or similar for evidence if they are attacking our animals).  Short of that, no.

 

Just because you're so "above reproach" with all your other animal contacts doesn't mean you're right about this one.

 

In your mom's case I'd probably have caught those dogs and turned them in to the shelter each time I saw them (once it was apparent the owner wasn't going to control them).  Our shelter charges a fee to get your critters back.  If the owner pays enough fees x3, I suspect they'd change.  Even if they merely have to go get them enough times, I suspect they'd change.

 

Killing something someone loves just because it annoys you is WRONG.  Period.  No exceptions.

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Killing something someone loves just because it annoys you is WRONG.  Period.  No exceptions.

 

I agree. Dog poop is just not a good enough reason. Unless you're genuinely afraid for your safety - which it just doesn't sound like - the solution here is to catch them, haul them to the shelter. Leave a note on your neighbor's door if you want to be really scrupulous about it.

 

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