Jump to content

Menu

How do you know when to apologize, or let it go?


Guinevere
 Share

Recommended Posts

I was talking with a fairly new friend tonight, and realized I said 2 or 3 things that could have been taken in a judgmental way.  I wasn't being judgmental at all, actually was just feeling too familiar, I think.  Like, I related something her child did to something mine has done, and expressed it a bit negatively, when really, I think it is hilarious, no matter whose child is doing it.  It was endearing to me to see someone else's child doing something mine did when they were smaller.  But, without being in my head, I can see that it might not have come off that way.

 

Anyway, I'm thinking it over and deciding if I should say something, or if I should just be careful not to do that again.  Or if I accidentally do, say something right then to correct it and apologize so she knows my heart?

 

How do you decide when you need to speak to someone about something you said, and when you should just let it go?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For something like that, I'd let it go unless they seemed odd about it.

I agree. Did she seem to act awkward when you said it, or did she just continue the conversation as usual?

 

You're probably over-thinking this. I can understand it, though, because she's a new friend and you don't want to hurt her feelings. :grouphug:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm going to go with the opposite direction with this.  Partly because, like it or not, first impressions really do make a difference.  I wouldn't make too big a deal but just express your concern that you may have come across in a way you didn't intend.

 

I had something similar happen recently at church, except I really *was* negative.  This was with someone new and I was chatting with her.  I found out that she grew up in a church I have had some experience with and which has a negative reputation.  Her parents and younger sibs still attend.  I  crossed the line and regretted being so negative.  So, I resolved to say something to her the next time she came to church, except she didn't come for nearly 6months!!  When she did come, she seemed to avoid me.  Ugh....ugh.  Sigh.  

 

Edited by PrincessMommy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did something similar once. I was keeping an acquaintance/friend's child after school for free & this little girl was four and hilarious. She stayed with me 3 days a week for a few months & she was a joy. I was sharing something funny with her mom (related to snack time). I later realized it may have sounded like I was being indirect about all the food this little girl was eating. I didn't know if the mom thought twice about what I had shared & perhaps I was overthinking it. But it really bothered me. After sleeping on it and still feeling bothered, I called her. It was just a quick conversation & I basically said the same thing I just typed here. I felt better, she understood & genuinely appreciated my call. After that I felt free to share all the cute stories & her mom could enjoy them without thinking there was a hidden message about her child's behavior. So I'd say if it continues to bother you, maybe say something next time. It can't hurt. I think the way you typed it here explains it nicely.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with PrincessMommy on this one.  I don't think I'd be all grovelly but I would say something like, "I feel so comfortable around you and I hope to know you better.  but it occurred to me on reflection that a couple of things I said might have gone down the wrong pipe, and I want to make sure we are clear ... I'd hate for something to screw up what I feel could be a good friendship."  And then keep it light but make sure there isn't a misinterpretation in an early stage of a friendship.

 

Friendships are too valuable to lose, even if they are in the early stage, over something that could be misinterpreted.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...