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Something that really bothers me on social media...


Misha
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I check my facebook a few times a week - I've noticed the constant posts from parents exclaiming how they can't wait for their child(ren) to return to school, and how being home with them is driving them up the wall. It seems like so many people post these messages along with their desperate desire for an adult beverage and then bemoan that summer vacation is only half over. 

 

 

It saddens me as well as angers me.

 

 

Does this bother anyone else?

 

 

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Even for me as a homeschool Mom, I want wine when our schedule is out of whack and everything is hectic.  They don't say it because they don't love their kids. They say it because they are tired of hearing for the umpteenth thousandth time how bored their kids are.

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People like their routines. Some of them get grumpy when they change and look forward to things getting back to normal. You hear it here too. Homeschooling moms who are ready to start school in August because the summer free-for-all is enough already and they feel their house runs better with that structure. That's all it is. Nobody hates their kids.

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I check my facebook a few times a week - I've noticed the constant posts from parents exclaiming how they can't wait for their child(ren) to return to school, and how being home with them is driving them up the wall. It seems like so many people post these messages along with their desperate desire for an adult beverage and then bemoan that summer vacation is only half over. 

 

 

It saddens me as well as angers me.

 

 

Does this bother anyone else?

 

 

Why should it bother you?  

 

My niece, like my sons, has autism.  She thrives on routine.  Not going to school is a stressful break in her routine.  My brother (a

SAHD) can accommodate that to a degree but it's a stressor for the whole family.  

 

Lots of parents who love their kids and put a lot of time and energy into their kids look forwards to certain things that returning to school means.  Be that routine, time for other things, increased financial resources, lowered expenses etc.  Who the hell are you or anyone to be angered by the realities of someone else's life?  

Edited by LucyStoner
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This thread happens every year. Some people like routines. Some people like school. I love my kids to pieces but am looking forward to preschool starting back for my youngers. One is so much more fun to be around when she's been at school for a few hours a day. Go ahead, be smug and get angry over how I carefully researched options and found her someplace where she thrives. Sigh.

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I'm looking forward to not being pregnant any more so I can have an adult beverage. And I like to have time to myself.

 

I guess I don't put any effort into my child or enjoy her company or blah blah blah. :001_rolleyes:

 

The summer must be going quickly this year. I didn't realize it was already time for the "Anyone who doesn't want to spend every waking second with their precious darlings is an uncaring, crappy mother" posts.

 

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I'm over the moon happy because this is my one week of the year with no children at home. One's at sleepaway camp, the other is busy with ballet intensive all day. Party at Farrar's! Woohoo! Bring on the condemnation of how much I hate my children!

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I didn't post this as an attempt to start a "war". I wrote it to convey my feelings over the constant barrage of posts like this that I see.

 

I love time to myself too, but when I have an issue with one of my children I'm not going to share it on social media. 

 

 

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It's hardly that they're posting that their kids' private struggles. It's not an "issue." They're just blowing off steam and almost certainly engaging in a little bit of light hyperbole. You really don't need to feel sad and angry for their lives. You're reading far too much into it all. Not everyone uses social media the same way.

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I'm really quite surprised at all the negative responses you are getting about this on a homeschooling board. Attitudes like that just make me sad.  I think those parents are missing out...but I'm just an oddball that really enjoys being with my kids which is one reason why I chose to homeschool.

 

Susan in TX

 

 

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I'm really quite surprised at all the negative responses you are getting about this on a homeschooling board. Attitudes like that just make me sad.  I think those parents are missing out...but I'm just an oddball that really enjoys being with my kids which is one reason why I chose to homeschool.

 

Susan in TX

1. It's not odd for parents to enjoy being with their kids. It's odd NOT to.

2. Parents who are ready for school (a good thing) and normal routines (also a good thing) to resume do not feel they are missing out, and they are not missing out.

3. Experienced hs'ing moms aren't bandwagon'ing this chapter of "How We Know We're the GOOD Parents" because we've been having this conversation for more than a decade already, which is more than enough enough time to have gotten over ourselves on this particular annual issue.

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I'm really quite surprised at all the negative responses you are getting about this on a homeschooling board. Attitudes like that just make me sad. I think those parents are missing out...but I'm just an oddball that really enjoys being with my kids which is one reason why I chose to homeschool.

 

Susan in TX

I homeschooled until circumstances changed, and I had to go back to work.

 

I can't wait until my son can get back into an environment were he can focus on learning his braille. His swim lessons and my job has kept him from doing much.

 

My middle daughter has worked all summer on her twirling. She'll be able to perform in front of her classmates this year. She's also excited about her Spanish class. It's suppose to be very rigorous.

 

My oldest is a senior this year. I'm not so excited, but she is.

 

I love spending time with my kids. They love spending time with me.

 

And, yes, I'll probably have a drink the day they go back to school.

 

Please put your energy feeling sad for those FB families into something worthwhile.

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I've noticed the constant posts from parents exclaiming how they can't wait for their child(ren) to return to school, and how being home with them is driving them up the wall. It seems like so many people post these messages along with their desperate desire for an adult beverage and then bemoan that summer vacation is only half over.

Let's see...hyperbole...venting to friends...a form of stress relief...commiseration.

 

Kinda like what you just did.

 

No, it doesn't make me angry because even if they were serious, I'm secure enough in my personal choices to know that homeschooling and being a stay at home parent full time is not something that's a good fit for everyone. And the likelihood is that the person has had a tough day and needed to reach out to the world at large so that they could go back and be an awesome parent.

 

You know, like we humans do.

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I check my facebook a few times a week - I've noticed the constant posts from parents exclaiming how they can't wait for their child(ren) to return to school, and how being home with them is driving them up the wall. It seems like so many people post these messages along with their desperate desire for an adult beverage and then bemoan that summer vacation is only half over.

 

 

It saddens me as well as angers me.

 

 

Does this bother anyone else?

I've never been on FB and this board is my only other social media. But IRL, I've heard many moms make comments like this.

 

It has concerned me when one person is needing a drink all the time and/or everyday. It's also concerned me when one person has no patience with the kids, snaps all the time, and CAN'T WAIT for school to begin.

 

IOW, it is a pattern of behavior that is concerning.

Edited by unsinkable
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I agree, this is an annual thing.  I got sucked in the first year or two.  :P

 

Some summers are super hectic for families that use B&M school (especially when trying to fit all the kids' summer stuff around a full-time work schedule).  So much to do, so little time.  Lovely summer down time is employed in projects all around the house - as you can see by the evidence left behind.  Kids are sugared up and acting crazy and staying up all hours because "it's vacation!"  My kids are starting to get mouthy about now.  I'm not ready for summer to be over yet, but ask me again in a few weeks.  :P

 

While I've tried to give my kids some down time, I have to be more on top of things than ever.  My kids are enrolled in 12 different summer camps, plus tutoring and sports; went on a foreign travel-trip and had 4-5 sleepovers; scheduled at least 7 health appointments over the summer.  Many things remain to be prepared for the next school year, and the clock is ticking.

 

My kids aren't home all the time, but if they were, I'd be eager for them to clear out so I can do certain things for them or for the house.  Or yeah, for myself even.  :)

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I see some homeschool moms on my facebook write similar things at various points (whether because their constant chattering or frequently whining or always fighting kiddos are driving them mad or whatever). I see similar things from some of my teacher friends during the year too, and it's not because they hate their career or their students (March--nearly every educator finds March hard, yes?) 

 

My kids have had over a month now of team trips, camps, and extremely late nights due to summer activities. They are young teens, so my schedule is also off due to multiple drop offs, late night pick ups, and similar.  We are way out of routine. All that should end next week. I'm looking forward to getting back to normal--for us that's more reasonable bedtimes and homeschooling. I'd probably feel the same if it were looking at back to school in a few weeks. We're all exhausted right now. 

 

 

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I actually struggle being a stay at home mom, but it has little to nothing to with what time of year we're schooling or not. I find parts of summer stressful and parts of school stressful. I find parts of summer enjoyable and parts of schooling enjoyable. I think some children/parents mesh better than others. I find my children very challenging. Maybe the parents typing those things find their children challenging after so many hours of whatever (I'm hungry, I'm bored, etc.). I'm just hoping dd outgrows the desire to draw on the walls soon lol.

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It's really no different than looking forward to a special event or holiday. It's "on the horizon", so there's something to look forward to. And sometimes kids DO drive their parents up a wall. BTDT, both as a public school mom and as a homeschooling one.

 

I love my kids beyond measure, but that doesn't mean I need to be with them 24/7/365 and be all sunshine and rainbows about it. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it's siblings bickering, whining about boredom, wanting to be fed, wanting to be entertained, wanting attention when I've got half a brain cell left to devote to running the household before I drop from exhaustion, smelling like b.o. and needing to be told for the 10th time that day to have a dang shower already, etc. Other times it's fun and laughter, snuggles, intelligent conversations, witty comments, smelling fresh and clean, and all the other happy horsecrap.

 

No need to get sad or angry. Save your energy for your own family and things that matter.

 

I don't post on social media, but I will say in real life "I could use a good stiff drink" after a challenging day/hour/5 minutes. In reality, I drink one alcoholic beverage maybe once every 18 months to 2 years, on a special occasion. It's just a phrase used to denote "I've had a stressful moment and need to relax".

Edited by fraidycat
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I'm just going to quietly post this link here in the hopes that anyone who needs to will peruse it and perhaps come to a bit of understanding about why these sorts of posts don't typically go over well.

 

https://www.facebook.com/sanctimommy/

 

 

I'd never seen this website before.  It's HILARIOUS!!!   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

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I have also seen this same post every year, but there is an aspect of it that I agree with and have thought, too. Personally, I do not like the TV ads that have the mom fist-pumping after she puts the kid on the bus or the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" commercial. Additionally, some people on FB - not a lot of them, thankfully - do post it often enough that starts to bother me.

 

But it is always unfortunate when a new/relatively new poster stumbles onto a topic she imagines suits this place, only to be smacked down by the veterans. It's pretty crappy,,really.

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I have also seen this same post every year, but there is an aspect of it that I agree with and have thought, too. Personally, I do not like the TV ads that have the mom fist-pumping after she puts the kid on the bus or the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" commercial. Additionally, some people on FB - not a lot of them, thankfully - do post it often enough that starts to bother me.

 

But it is always unfortunate when a new/relatively new poster stumbles onto a topic she imagines suits this place, only to be smacked down by the veterans. It's pretty crappy,,really.

 

I hate those commercials.

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No they don't bother me.

 

Our vacations are just starting but I am rather dreading them. I work from home and won't have all the time off (or even most). Which means I have to get my work done, keep the house somewhat orderly (yeah, right) and entertain the kids (or feel guilty if I don't). Basically, I already know I will feel bad as I either won't get my work done (and I work as a freelances so no work means no money) or I feel that I neglect the kids.

 

My kids don't play well together. If I am not there they will mostly fight. Younger son would be fine if I spent most of the day with him. Older son will spend all his time online unless I force him to stop (which is not fun with a teenager).

 

We usually travel most of the summer which is great but this year will stay home for various reasons. Vacation hasn't even started yet and I can't wait for it to be over.

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I have also seen this same post every year, but there is an aspect of it that I agree with and have thought, too. Personally, I do not like the TV ads that have the mom fist-pumping after she puts the kid on the bus or the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" commercial. Additionally, some people on FB - not a lot of them, thankfully - do post it often enough that starts to bother me.

 

But it is always unfortunate when a new/relatively new poster stumbles onto a topic she imagines suits this place, only to be smacked down by the veterans. It's pretty crappy,,really.

QFT!

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The vast majority of those types of posts (and commercials) are all overexaggeration, fishing for sympathy and commiseration, and many times, something people are expected to say. They don't actually mean the parent doesn't like their kids and don't want to spend time with them.

 

 

My DH has been working a lot out of town lately. He's been to Mexico a few times this year, as well as GA and TN. He will stay for as long as a week. And you know what.....sometimes I can't WAIT for him to go. I love my DH and we like to spend time together, have a great marriage. But sometimes I can't wait for him to leave. And when he IS gone, I don't spend my time missing him and complaining that he's gone. Instead, I enjoy sleeping right smack in the middle of our bed, with every light and noisemaking thing off in my house.

My dh normally travels every other week, but summer is his slow season. He has been home SO MUCH. SO MUCH.

 

I might have asked him 10 times tgis weekend when his next trip starts.

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I have also seen this same post every year, but there is an aspect of it that I agree with and have thought, too. Personally, I do not like the TV ads that have the mom fist-pumping after she puts the kid on the bus or the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" commercial. Additionally, some people on FB - not a lot of them, thankfully - do post it often enough that starts to bother me.

 

But it is always unfortunate when a new/relatively new poster stumbles onto a topic she imagines suits this place, only to be smacked down by the veterans. It's pretty crappy,,really.

No one smacked her or was crappy to her. If she had come on saying people on her FB feed were angry or sad about her choice to homeschool, she would get support. The point being that this forum isn't homeshool sanctimommy heaven.

 

If there are people on the feed who are genuinely unloving or abusive to their kids, which would appropriately garner an "angry" or "sad" reaction, then do something about it. People here choose a variety of schooling methods for their kids and know that homeschooling is not a purity test of parenting.

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No one smacked her or was crappy to her. If she had come on saying people on her FB feed were angry or sad about her choice to homeschool, she would get support. The point being that this forum isn't homeshool sanctimommy heaven.

 

If there are people on the feed who are genuinely unloving or abusive to their kids, which would appropriately garner an "angry" or "sad" reaction, then do something about it. People here choose a variety of schooling methods for their kids and know that homeschooling is not a purity test of parenting.

I'm looking at it, imagining if I was a new/newer member here and had not seen this topic discussed before, which I was at one time. There's an attitude of, "Silly newbie! *We* aren't bothered by people posting hyperbolic posts begging the little buggers to go back to school." Seriously, there are a lot of minefields here that you don't learn about unless you were lurking and watched someone else detonate them or you foolishly posted about it before knowing.

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Those comments never really bothered me but I couldn't really relate either.  When my kids were in public school,  I loved the lazy days of summer without the hustle and bustle of school, getting up early, constant phone calls and fundraisers, plus the kids being there over seven hours a day.  I would just smile but no, I wasn't ready for all of that. 

Edited by HeWillSoar
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I totally get the feeling of wanting to get back to routine, or even just wanting a break from kids. Mine are demanding, so I get that! It does come off though as a complaint directly against them though, even though the underlying sentiment is completely valid. I think I just wish it wasn't so socially acceptable to complain about our kids so publicly. It doesn't seem super respectful towards them.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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I'm just going to quietly post this link here in the hopes that anyone who needs to will peruse it and perhaps come to a bit of understanding about why these sorts of posts don't typically go over well.

 

https://www.facebook.com/sanctimommy/

I have wasted far too much time on this website. Sadly, I probably sounded a tiny bit like the Sanctimommies with my first kid. Until I had my second.

 

My favorite comment about the meatloaf/mashed potato smash cakes:

 

"Yes. It's important that my child's celebrations taste like organic sadness, tinged with regret. Use crispy kale shreds for sprinkles!"

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Well, I don't see much of that on facebook, but in "real life," there is plenty of it. In the summer, they can't wait till school starts. Before summer, they are complaining about how little time is left until summer vacation. And it isn't just people who are stressed out or whatever. It is absolutely everybody. I used to have to hear it in church. One day in Walmart, there was this woman yelling at her two out of control kids that she wished they had school 24/7 so she didn't have to ever put up with them (instead of correcting their behavior). 

 

Sure, everybody needs a break sometime. But I am seeing people who basically have let their kids become so bratty, that they now hate them and can't stand to be around them. I know many of these people personally, so I am not just speculating, btw. 

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