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Would you have pick up your child from camp for this?

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This is mostly just curiosity.

 

My 11 year old went to boy scout camp this week with his brother and DH.  He has been having some stomach issues (nothing contagious) for a while now and was worried but I told him that if he needed me I could come get him.  It is over a three hour drive one way.  Yesterday morning I got a phone call from DH that while DS was having a great time at camp, his stomach issues were too much and DS wanted me to come pick him up.  He was in a fair amount of pain and not sleeping due to having to be up in the bathroom.

 

DS really didn't want to come home, but felt he wasn't feeling well enough to stay.  He told me several times on the way home how much he appreciated me taking the time to drive down and get him.  I don't regret going to get him at all.  I think overall it was the right choice, though I am sad he is missing the second half of camp.  Today he is sitting around resting, and dealing not just with his stomach issues but with a bad reaction to mosquito bites.  They are huge, swollen, bruised looking and are all starting to blister.

 

I made an appointment with the doctor figuring if it was getting this bad he should be seen.  The nurse told DS that he was lucky to have me for a mom because she would have told her kids to just tough it out.  It got me to thinking, how many parents would just leave their (not contagious) child at camp if they were sick.  I am often in the tough it out camp, but knowing how much DS wanted to be there and that he was asking me to get him, made me feel like it was the right choice this time.  So if it were you would you have picked up your child, or told them to tough it out at camp?

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This is mostly just curiosity.

 

My 11 year old went to boy scout camp this week with his brother and DH.  He has been having some stomach issues (nothing contagious) for a while now and was worried but I told him that if he needed me I could come get him.  It is over a three hour drive one way.  Yesterday morning I got a phone call from DH that while DS was having a great time at camp, his stomach issues were too much and DS wanted me to come pick him up.  He was in a fair amount of pain and not sleeping due to having to be up in the bathroom.

 

DS really didn't want to come home, but felt he wasn't feeling well enough to stay.  He told me several times on the way home how much he appreciated me taking the time to drive down and get him.  I don't regret going to get him at all.  I think overall it was the right choice, though I am sad he is missing the second half of camp.  Today he is sitting around resting, and dealing not just with his stomach issues but with a bad reaction to mosquito bites.  They are huge, swollen, bruised looking and are all starting to blister.

 

I made an appointment with the doctor figuring if it was getting this bad he should be seen.  The nurse told DS that he was lucky to have me for a mom because she would have told her kids to just tough it out.  It got me to thinking, how many parents would just leave their (not contagious) child at camp if they were sick.  I am often in the tough it out camp, but knowing how much DS wanted to be there and that he was asking me to get him, made me feel like it was the right choice this time.  So if it were you would you have picked up your child, or told them to tough it out at camp?

 

This is me, too. Yeah, if it was something he really wanted to do and was still asking to come home, I'd want to go get him. If it was something I felt he'd get over and enjoy camp in the end, I'd let him tough it out.

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If I knew the kid really wanted to be there I would trust their judgement if they said they were too sick to handle it.

 

How miserable to be at camp and spend all your time in the bathroom! Plus not getting sleep. I'd want to be home too.

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Yep, I would have picked him up in a heartbeat. How miserable to make a sick child stay at camp!

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I wouldn't have hesitated to pick him up. I can't imagine leaving him there, in pain, and telling him to just suck it up.  :sad:

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yes I would have picked him up.   there's a time to tell a kid to tough it out, and there's a time to step up to the plate to take care of your kid.

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It sounds like he was kind of miserable, so yes, I would have picked him up!  

 

If it was random stomach pains for one day but then went away, or just the mosquito bites, or a small cold, or a headache that just last one day, I'd encourage him to stay.

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I would have picked up too. I mean, depending on the situation. But, I've had stomach issues where I basically don't sleep all night because I'm in the bathroom. And then I get headaches, and I'm too tired to enjoy anything.

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Good grief. No adult would want to be told to "tough it out" for stomach issues at a camp. Why would we tell that to a kid? 

 

I would have gone and gotten my child.

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I wonder if the nurse knows it's a real (undiagnosed) thing - and not an anxiety stomach ache?  

ds had a school counselor who has h3ck on him because of his stomach issues.  (caused lots of problems).  she was insistent it was all psychological.  she only (FINALLY) shut up when I told her the children' hospital didn't think it was psychological. (and stared her down.) - he had a pinched nerve in his spine.

  

if you have any indication from her during your appointment that she thinks it is in his head - I *would* report that to the dr.  a nurses attitude like that can undermine treatment.

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When I was a kid in the early 80's I would go away to camp for a few weeks every summer.  I remember once having some sort of virus.  I had to spend a few nights in the infirmary cabin, and then went back to my bunk when I was feeling better.  I don't even think going home was mentioned.  Another year a bunkmate of mine was bit by a snake while swimming.  She ended up spending two nights in the hospital but then came back to camp. 

 

Your situation sounds different though because your son isn't receiving medical intervention at the camp.  If his problem is inhibiting how he functions then he needs medical attention right away.  If it is an ongoing problem that has been addressed medically already then you probably knew going in what might happen.  In that case it really should have been up to your family.

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I've said tough it out on some things, but what you've described is different. You knew he was having trouble before camp and you told him you would get him. Knowing ahead means you have an idea that he's not just homesick. And you need to honor the promise you made.

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You definitely did the right thing.  

 

My oldest had undiagnosed gluten intolerance for a few years and was in almost constant pain.  I cannot imagine telling a child in pain, "Oh just suck it up."  There is a difference between telling a child, "yes I know your tummy is hurting again today, but I do still want you to do a page of math" and "Sorry you are in so much pain that you want to leave an activity that you are otherwise enjoying, but suck it up all by yourself far away from your mommy because I don't want to drive to get you."

 

Your nurse is a meanie.  

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I would have picked him up too. He tried and you did tell him that you would get him if it was a problem. I'm not one to coddle my kids, but I think you made the right choice.

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The two things that make this an obvious decision to pick up for me are:

1) known issue. You could determine in advance that this situation might come up

2) dh was on site. You have a parent who can evaluate the situation in person

 

Without those two, it may be hard to tell if kid is just homesick, etc, but you have a real medical situation and picking him up is appropriate.

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I wonder if the nurse knows it's a real (undiagnosed) thing - and not an anxiety stomach ache?  

ds had a school counselor who has h3ck on him because of his stomach issues.  (caused lots of problems).  she was insistent it was all psychological.  she only (FINALLY) shut up when I told her the children' hospital didn't think it was psychological. (and stared her down.) - he had a pinched nerve in his spine.

  

if you have any indication from her during your appointment that she thinks it is in his head - I *would* report that to the dr.  a nurses attitude like that can undermine treatment.

 

:iagree: The nurse should have kept her mouth shut.  That said stomach issues can be amplified by stress and lack of sleep and the type of junky diet a kid might focus on at camp.  They see lots of that kind of thing in the peds office but she shouldn't be pre diagnosing anything. 

 

OP - if they are slow to diagnose I'd focus on a very clean diet with minimal sugar and adding probiotics to his diet.  I do 1-2 TBSP of ground flax a day too (I would start that slow, maybe with a tsp).  You could also try an elimination diet?  Does he have any known allergies or sensitivities?

 

FTR, I have had gut issues and IBS and I have found it does help me personally to stay on top of stress and anxiety, sleeping, clean diet, exercise all help.  Gut issues can take a lot of trial and error to figure out.  I hope it's something straightforward!  :grouphug:

 

ETA - as to the original question on picking up.  I think people know their kids best.  If you had a kid that was known to have a nervous stomach and was twitchy about going to camp and you were working without a flexible schedule, I can see a different parent making a different decision.  It really is a bit of a privilege to be able to jump in a car and drive for 6 hours in a day on a dime.  With another parent on site telling you that you should, it seems like a no brainer.  The nurse shouldn't have made any assumptions.

 

Edited by WoolySocks

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Doesn't really matter what any of the rest of us would have done, you had an agreement with your son before he departed that if he wanted to be picked up, you would come and get him. And that is what you did. You are a good mom. And I think you probably have a very mature young man on your hands there.

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Dh was right on-site and recommended ds coming home. That would have been more than enough for me to pick up ds.  Was there ever a question?  I'm not sure if the nurse was aware of the fact that the father was on-site. I can imagine anyone NOT going to fetch the child. 

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I would have picked him up.

 

Your dh is aware of the situation, and it sounds like he was there. This was as much his judgement call as yours.  This isn't a homesick tummy ache issue.

Ds wanted to be there, and is missing out, while I assume your DH is staying behind.

This is a know health issue.

Stomach issues are uncomfortable, but they can also be embarrassing.

You made a game plan ahead of time to pick him up if needed....you honored that, which is Huge in a relationships.  You trusted Ds's assessment of the situation and your Dh's too.

 

I assume the nurse was just chatting, and obviously didn't know all the details.  Yes, there are some hard A$$ parents out there who would have made their kid stick it out, but I wouldn't expect them to end up in nursing LOL.

 

 

 

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I would have picked him up, but I also don't usually work during the summer, and I have a car.

I can see how parents who both work full time might not be able to pick up a child unless they absolutely had to, because they would have no alternative child care. Some people also might not have the transportation to do an unplanned trip.

Edited by regentrude
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Yes, in this situation.

 

I can imagine situations where I wouldn't have.  It sounds like this was an known issue thiygh, and it was ingoing, so that indicates its more serious.  And you didn't think he was exagerating to get out of it.

 

So it seems like an easy decision.

 

Some camps are set up for kids to be sick at, that would make a difference.  I knew kids at university who went to boarding schools and camps all summer - they were expected to deal with anything pretty much.

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My DD's college campus program got hit in one of the dorms by a stomach virus that seemed to pass pretty fast, but led to some miserable kids in the meantime. Fortunately, it didn't hit DD's hall (and they really pushed handwashing and kept the affected hall separate). it was a bad situation because many of the kids don't have a parent close enough to pick them up within a few hours-we fly out as a family and stay close by because we don't have a direct flight, but many kids fly non-stop ash an unaccompanied minor.

 

As it turned out, it resolved overnight for basically all the kids-about 12 hours of abject misery, and then fine. So, after the first kid ended up recovering before the parents even could get there, the nurse started recommending not to rush to get them, but to wait a day. The poor nurse earned whatever she made and then some, I'm sure...

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Absolutely would have picked up my son.

 

My mom was an RN -- I had to be really sick for her to pay attention.

 

Alley

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Thanks all.

 

I was pretty sure it wasn't homesickness.  He has been going to sleep away camps since he was pretty little and he had DH, his brother, and his friends with him.

 

I have taken him to the doctor a few times, but they have never taken it very seriously.  This time they seem to be more concerned, maybe the fact that he had to leave camp, something he loves, made them realize it was something to look into more?  Anyway, they are testing him for giardia and a few other things and having him keep a food/pain dairy for a week with regular food, and then do a week without any dairy to see if it may be lactose intolerance.  He had a lot of food allergies as a baby/toddler that he outgrew.  He was allergic to eggs, dairy, soy, peanuts, and almonds.  He is still allergic to almonds and avoids pit fruits.  He also has environmental and medical allergies.  It sounds like we will be having to do elimination diet to figure out what is possibly causing it.  Not easy, since DS has so few foods he eats already.

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You made the right call.

 

I would have done it too.  Poor kiddo.  

 

Yeah I don't thing it is homesickness.  Your dh and brother are there.

 

I hope he feels better soon. 

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I think that if the child's parent who is right there, and able to offer some help managing the situation at camp, says that the situation isn't working at camp, then clearly the child needs to go home.  

 

Having said that, as a parent who doesn't drive, figuring out a way to pick up my kid partway through camp would be challenging.  So, I can see why parents would be tempted to let a child work it out.  

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Based on the fact that DH felt he needed picked up, I would have picked him up.

 

Last year I had a kid complaining at camp.  Honestly the biggest issue was the heat, and they kept making her drink volumes of water to keep her "hydrated" which was actually making her sick.  Then they told her she was not allowed to cover up to prevent the bugs from feasting on her in the night.  (She gets bad reactions to bug bites.)  I asked them to lay off her and let her go to sleep and see how she felt in the morning.  Come morning they said she refused breakfast, was "shutting down," and I needed to come get her.  I drove down to find her happily participating in the canoeing activity, far from "shutting down."  But she was glad to be out of that place with its hydromania, LOL. 

 

Was I a bad mom for making her "stick it out" overnight?  No, knowing my kid as I do, she was OK and probably would have been OK staying the rest of the week also.  I have several thoughts about the management of that camp but I hashed those all out a year ago, LOL.

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I would have picked my kid up. Who wants to be dealing with stomach issues at camp? That would be awful. I think you definitely did the right thing.

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I am on my phone and I don't know how to link on my phone but as I write this there is a story on Fox News dot com about a 11 year old NJ boy who was at a camp in PA. He is dead now. I believe you did the correct thing for your DS.

 

Sent from my SM-G355M using Tapatalk

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I wouldn't want to be at camp with stomach issues and I certainly wouldn't expect a child to do that.  You did the right thing.  

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Guest

 

I am on my phone and I don't know how to link on my phone but as I write this there is a story on Fox News dot com about a 11 year old NJ boy who was at a camp in PA. He is dead now. I believe you did the correct thing for your DS.

 

Sent from my SM-G355M using Tapatalk

 

 

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/07/13/11-year-old-dies-at-sleep-away-camp-after-complaining-stomach-issues.html

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I don't think there was anything wrong with you picking him up since it seems like he was feeling too sick to do much of anything, but I also agree with your decision to take him to the dr. If the stomach issues are causing him to miss activities, then it is time to find out what is going on.

My own DS could not make it through a Scout overnight for like two years because he always got sick to his stomach. It took us a while to figure out that he was having problems with gluten. (He did go on a couple of trips where he got sick but was too far away from home to co e home early but I have picked him up or he was dropped off at home from many troop camp outs)

 

On the other hand, a scout in our troop fell over a curb and broke his arm on the first night of his first summer camp to a that is 9hrs from home. This was This past Saturday. The troop was staying overnight at a KOA on the way to camp. The kid had to have surgery to have a pin put in his arm. The troop leader was prepared to drive him home the next day, but the dr released the boy and said he was fine to go to camp Andre that he just had to stay out of the water. The boy did not want to go home and his parents allowed him to stay. Pictures that have been shared show him looking happy.

 

It just depends on the kid and the family.

 

Edited to fix some typos

Edited by City Mouse

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I would have got my kid, but my kid is rarely sick with stomach issues (anymore my youngest was allergic to dairy). So it would be odd for them to complain about that. They would complain about different issues. 

 

If your child is suffering from any sort of IBS issue, you might ask your child's doctor about VSL-3. It is widely available probiotic that has clinical trials to back it up. I recently started taking it (you don't need a script for it) and I have liked it. You may have to get a pharmacy to order it, and it has to be refrigerated but it could be worth it. 

 

Good luck!

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