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CC: parenting book about not raising "good" girls


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I think it comes down to teaching them to have strong boundaries.

See, this isn't a problem I have - if anything I'm pretty rough around the edges! My mom was an ex-hippie, my dad had had quite the checkered past before they became Christians and were married, so they weren't really part of the Christian culture. I was raised pretty strong and (?) honest. Never raised to be nice so these ideas about not being "nice" were pretty new to me. But now I wonder if this is why I don't understand my friend. And I do want to make sure I'm not passing these ideas on, even though I think I don't accept them.


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Some girls/women have a natural inclination to be people pleasers.


Some have anxiety that prompts them to try to always stay within the rules and not upset anyone.


Both of these can lead to difficulty with boundaries and self advocacy, especially within a cultural context that praises and rewards children (girls particularly) for following rules and instructions and being sweet.


I actively encourage my girls to express disagreement and to take some risks. We do not have an obedience oriented home; teaching obedience to children as a prime virtue in my opinion serves primarily the adults not the children themselves.

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