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Hair help needed: dd10 soft spiral/wavy hair


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Help!!!  Need hair cut advice.

 

DD10 has beautiful hair, but I am sooooooo tired of the crying when I brush it.

 

 

She has hair that was straight when she was younger and is now half grown in with very soft bouncy spirals.Her hair grows fast and it is currently mid back.  The problem is that the spirals act like velcro and create an insane amount of tangles. 

 

She is 5'4" and 180lbs (medication issue). She has a very round face and full neck.  Her hair is beautiful when washed/detangled and allowed to dry.  But in the life a child, that is about 1hour of the day.  I end up putting it in a tight single braid most days, but even that somehow knots up. 

 

If I let her go two days without managing it, she is shrieking with pain when we wash it.  I use Biolage Hydrasource shampoo/conditioner, and a special detangling comb. I try to comb it (going from the ends up) with a large amount of conditioner in her hair and use running water to help as much as I can, but her hair ties it self in literal knots. 

 

I am sooo tired of it. I want to cut it but last year when I cut it to just below her shoulders a neighbor kid said she looked like a boy and now she Freaks if I mention getting it cut. She obviously didn't look like a boy, but kids stay stupid things and other kids believe them.

 

I got her to agree to go to a salon to get it cut (she insists they can only take an inch off) so I thought if I could find a cute, medium style (just below shoulders) maybe she would go for it.  Any suggestions?  I don't know if her hair will be curly when we cut it or not.  I know some people get more curl when the weight is cut off, and some curl seems to concentrate in the ends more than the top. I have no idea what her hair will do.  

 

Do layers help with tangles?  or do they make them worse?  

 

 

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First off, do you have a DivaCurl stylist in your area?  Curly hair is really tricky to cut.  It can be very difficult to find a stylist who has experience with that type hair.  DivaCurl stylists can also teach you and your dd how to care for and manage her hair. 

 

Second.....product, product, product.  LowPoo or NoPoo shampoos.  Conditioners.  Leave in Conditioners.  Misters.  Use a wide tooth comb or better yet a pick.  Use a microfiber towel or tshirt to dry her hair, regular towels contribute to the tangle problem.  DivaCurl is one product line made for curly hair but there are several others.  Curly hair does not do well with many ingredients in "regular" shampoo.  JessiCurl is another good company.  But, you can also find curly products at your local grocery or pharmacy type store. 

 

I have 2 curly dds.  Both had straight hair until puberty, then their hair became very wavy then curly.  They both started out using DivaCurl products but have branched out to other products.  Some things they prefer Diva, some they prefer from other companies.  The Hive was very helpful in suggesting product.  While both have curly hair, the texture is different, so they use different product.  But both use conditioning cleansers and some form of styling product.  Get the right product and management becomes a lot easier.  You can search the Hive for threads on curly hair product.  I'll list a few off the top of my head to get you started:

 

DivaCurl

JessiCurl

Mixed Chicks

SheaMoisture

Garnier for curl

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I have wavy hair.

Random thoughts:

If I use shampoo my hair tangles like crazy.

If I have tons of split ends it tangles.

With a single braid, I only get tangles just above my neck if I sleep in the same braid from the day. It is best when I comb and do a new braid at night.

I sometimes cut my nastiest knots. I do *not* cut across as if getting a trim. I take a tiny snip going up and down. Not much gets cut and usually just a small snip let's the tangle get combed out.

 

Good luck!

 

Tangles made me cry but so did the shag haircut my mom gave me! I hope you find something that works.

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My dd had hers long for years and even then if she brushed it we had frizz hair. Her auntie, who has curly hair, also recommended Diva products, as well as (spelling?) Oui Dat....found online. Minimal shampooing, dry by squeezing only and she recommended an old t-shirt, hair pick rather than brush.

 

Two years later (now), dd cut her own hair from waist to above shoulders and discovered that a half pony tail works to keep it out of her face. It is so much easier and cute as can be.

 

PS -- Tried to put in photos but non-tech savvy me can't figure out how.

 

 

 

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If it's in the budget, look for a deva cut specialist. If she doesn't want much cut, it may be on the cheaper end of the scale and it will only need to be done once or twice a year, maybe less if she keeps her hair healthy. It will make a huge difference...IF you follow their recommendations for hair care (ie. don't towel dry, don't use shampoos or conditioners with sulfates or parabens, don't wash every day, sleep with hair in a loose pineapple, scrunch while very wet to get curl pattern back, etc.) Using deva products is not necessary. I use: Sauve Naturals conditioner for just a co-wash (no shampoo). When I do occasionally shampoo, I use Shea Moisture or Cantu. I haven't found a styling creme I love yet so I use Tigi BedHead 3-in-1 because my dd uses it. So far, my favorite hair day was with the Deva Decadence conditioner (left-in) and finishing with a very light smoothing of the Tigi.

 

I just got my first deva cut last week. It was expensive BUT I will not be getting it cut often (my mom will trim my ends). It has made a world of difference in my hair. I have long, very thick, spiral curls. Dd17's hair is long with spirals, but more fine. I rarely had a tangle, even when I didn't take good care of my hair. Dd has terrible tangles all the time despite doing a curly girl recommended routine. Now that she has seen my cut, she wants hers cut too but left longer.

 

Edited to add. My hair is very soft, not coarse. Dd's is not as soft but I think it's from her split ends and breakage. We both use T shirts instead of towels.

Edited by samba
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Devacurl cuts are amazing, but very expensive. I get it done like twice a year and just let it grow. I don't brush my hair at all except with the conditioner in it. I use a microfiber towel and only squeeze the water out and then gently separate the curls. I hope you find something that works for her.

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Devacurl cuts are amazing, but very expensive. I get it done like twice a year and just let it grow. I don't brush my hair at all except with the conditioner in it. I use a microfiber towel and only squeeze the water out and then gently separate the curls. I hope you find something that works for her.

 

Yes! I agree. 

 

A question...do you use any styling products? Still looking for a fave.

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Yes! I agree.

 

A question...do you use any styling products? Still looking for a fave.

I enjoy the Devacurl no lather shampoo. I've used lots of conditioners. No favorites. I like Miss Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls for a styling product, because I like bigger loose curls and I feel like that's what achieves that the best for me. Also I'm pretty cheap, and you can get it at Target. I have very processed hair now, so it is a balance between color preservation and curl.

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Thanks for the ideas!!

 

I can't do no-poo because she gets hot/sweaty and her head starts to stink. We tried....and failed on that one.  The shampoo we use is extra moisturizing and so is the conditioner.  I am willing to try others, but honestly these products have worked the best so far.

 

I don't know if it is like this for everyone with curly hair, but it is like someone literally ties her hair in knots. It isn't just side by side areas either,  a small cluster of hairs from one side of her head will seem to reach over 4 or 5 inches and grab on to anther cluster and the knot will start. Then the hair in the middle will get involved. The longer it goes on, the more hair that joins in and sections start looking like a dreadlock looking mashup within a day. 

 

I have tried leave in conditioners, no conditioners, oil based products, all natural products...it doesn't seem to make an improvement (some products make it worse, not better). So  far, just using the super moisture products work the best.

 

Maybe I should look at ethnic hair products like Jean mentioned. DDs hair seems to just soak up what ever I put on it.  It doesn't' go limp, in fact more moisture seems to make it prettier/softer. (Her shampoo would make my fine hair stick to my head like wet spaghetti LOL)  

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Can you just wash with the conditioner?  No-poo doesn't mean don't rinse the hair ever...  But you can have the shower, and just wash the hair with the conditioner instead of using shampoo to wash it.

Yep, tried it.  She is too greasy and it gets gross smelling. Pre-teen hormones are probably to blame. LOL She is naturally a sweaty, oily kid, so she needs a bit of soap to break through all that. She even has significant acne at 10yo.   It also did nothing for the tangles, so no benefit.  Her hair is a mix of curly and straight still, so when it gets oily, it gets heavy and doesn't look good. She doesn't have enough curl to pull up the hair when it has much oil in it.  Her curls are about an inch or larger in diameter.  Perfect ringlets, but large ones.

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Thanks for the ideas!!

 

I can't do no-poo because she gets hot/sweaty and her head starts to stink. We tried....and failed on that one.  The shampoo we use is extra moisturizing and so is the conditioner.  I am willing to try others, but honestly these products have worked the best so far.

 

I don't know if it is like this for everyone with curly hair, but it is like someone literally ties her hair in knots. It isn't just side by side areas either,  a small cluster of hairs from one side of her head will seem to reach over 4 or 5 inches and grab on to anther cluster and the knot will start. Then the hair in the middle will get involved. The longer it goes on, the more hair that joins in and sections start looking like a dreadlock looking mashup within a day. 

 

I have tried leave in conditioners, no conditioners, oil based products, all natural products...it doesn't seem to make an improvement (some products make it worse, not better). So  far, just using the super moisture products work the best.

 

Maybe I should look at ethnic hair products like Jean mentioned. DDs hair seems to just soak up what ever I put on it.  It doesn't' go limp, in fact more moisture seems to make it prettier/softer. (Her shampoo would make my fine hair stick to my head like wet spaghetti LOL)  

 

Look at ingredients in the products you are using.  Curly hair typically does not respond well to sulfates, proteins, and alcohols.  Even moisturizing regular shampoos can cause an issue.  Try washing the hair upside down.  Cleanse the scalp very well, but not so much the ends of the hair. 

 

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My mother kept my hair in two braids almost daily until I learned to do it myself. French braids hold better if you can manage them. My curls always get tighter when cut, so short hair would be a 'fro on me. I can't pull that off. Conditioner is critical and NEVER try brushing it dry.

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