Nicholas_mom Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Quill - this happened to me and my bridal shower, many moons ago! I had invited everyone at my work. We were living in Chicago and the wedding was in Philly. My friend at work gave me a bridal shower in Chicago. The day after the bridal shower, I received a gift in the mail. Since it was from my Chicago co-worker, I thought it was a bridal gift and I sent a a thank you card for the gift. The co-worker received the thank you note and said to me "Wow, your thank you cards for wedding presents was done more quickly than we did for our wedding!" I knew this person was not coming to the wedding so I thought it would be a shower gift from them. I was not expecting a wedding present from them since they were invited to the bridal shower. Anyway, again, no big deal but I guess it happens. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 This is a pretty long-standing and widespread rule. Not that its totally ubiquitous, but it's what you'd see in any 20th century etiquette book - gifts shouldn't really be brought to the reception, nor opened in front of guests. The first because it is inconvinient, the second because it makes people feel put on the spot if their gift isn't as expensive as the others. Do you also not open gifts at showers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Do you also not open gifts at showers? I know it wasn't me you asked........ The norm from the areas I've lived in and the people in my "circles" has been to open gifts at showers but not at weddings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Do you also not open gifts at showers? No showers always seem to have gifts opened at the event. I'd say the reasoning is: 1) Shower gifts are less expensive, so less pressure and difference in the cost of gifts. 2) Shower gifts tend to be from your own friends 3) There are less of them so packing them up and transporting them is not so onerous 4) Often there is no good time (or place) at a wedding, between meal, ceremony, and socializing, to open gifts. Whereas a shower is ideally set up for chatting and opening with a small group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 No showers always seem to have gifts opened at the event. I'd say the reasoning is: 1) Shower gifts are less expensive, so less pressure and difference in the cost of gifts. 2) Shower gifts tend to be from your own friends 3) There are less of them so packing them up and transporting them is not so onerous 4) Often there is no good time (or place) at a wedding, between meal, ceremony, and socializing, to open gifts. Whereas a shower is ideally set up for chatting and opening with a small group. Also, gifts are the original point of showers. You are showering the bride with affections and gifts that are supposed to make her life easier and better as a married woman. So, opening gifts at a shower is an "event" that fills some of the time. Games that are played also often dovetail the gifts at a shower, for example, having a BINGO game where you check off gadgets as they are opened. When I got married, a funny shower game was that someone would record phrases said as present were opened and then they would be read off at the end as "Things Quill will say on her honeymoon." It was so funny! It would be like: "Oh, that's beautiful!...mmm, how handy this will be!...wow, this is the biggest one I've seen!...oh, I didn't even know they made them like this!" Plus lots of "ooooohhhh!!! Niiiicceeee!! Wow!!!s" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 (edited) Do you also not open gifts at showers? at showers the purpose of the party is to "shower" the bride/new mother with things she will need in her "new life". (as with most birthday parties, at least for children) the main entertainment is opening gifts. which is why for showers - gifts, even if very small, are sort of mandatory. contrary to popular belief - gifts at weddings are not mandatory - though they are customary. eta: traditionally - gifts were sent to the bride's home prior to the wedding. gifts weren't brought to the wedding. and the wedding - has it's own formula which does not include opening gifts. the reception also generally follows a plan of the bride's and groom's choosing - and does not include opening gifts. Edited June 19, 2017 by gardenmom5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 So interesting. Since we typically give a gift at a shower or the wedding and not both, the shower gifts are not 'less than' in any way. And that also means there are less gifts typically at the wedding since only people who could not attend the shower bring gifts to the wedding. So there aren't that many to open. And if you plan to open gifts at the wedding you certainly make a spot for it in the evening's activities.... But like I said, there are all sorts of customs out there. It is a good reminder that much of this is nothing to get all up in arms over just because it isn't the way we always did it. Quill I like that shower game. It would be especially fun for a personal shower. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.