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Has a stranger ever taken your picture against your will?


Faithful_Steward
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We were at the mall last weekend with our kids and standing in a group. Two young men (maybe early twenties) stopped and told us they were going to take a picture and then took one. I immediately told him NO and my husband very loudly asked him what his problem was. The man smirked and walked around the other side of our group and took ANOTHER picture, then took off.

 

We felt so violated. I don't expect privacy in public, but this just seemed so aggressive. What the heck is wrong with people? I think maybe the men wanted a picture of dd13 for some website or youtube.

 

What says the HIVE? Theories? Would this make you mad?

 

We're obviously over it now, but I still think people are crazy. 

 

 

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That's pretty strange! When at kids' tournaments, etc, and I've noticed someone taking pictures, I've stood in front of my kids, but it's different for a team pic or such.

That's pretty aggressive, though! I don't know what I'd do, except stand in front of the kids!

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Some kind of social experiment? If annoying you wasn't part of the experience, then why didn't they just take a photo quietly and without drawing attention to it.

 

I think this is likely.

 

He already had his phone up when we noticed him, so that's why he was able to take the picture before we could respond. But then to walk around us and take the second picture seems pretty bold.

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Yes. I caught some guy surreptitiously pointing his camera towards me while I was at the park with my dog. It really upset me at the time (I don't think I'd care as much now), and I actually called the police. They said there was really nothing they could do, but offered to come give him a "talking to" to discourage him if it happened again.

 

I've since learned not to expect much in the way of privacy while in public places. :)

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We have this issue often, particularly when traveling. We are a blonde family and often have Chinese people stop us and take our family pics. Even grabbing our children to pose with them. It is infuriating. They don't even ask.  I'm not talking about 1-2 people, lots... One of my kids has even started hiding her hair with a hoodie when traveling. 

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It hasn't happened to me and I agree that it was wrong and strange.

 

This leads me to ask if any of us have been on the other side of this: taking a picture of someone without asking, on purpose or inadvertently.  I've seen people post pics and even short video clips of things like an aerobics class they are taking (just to say "hey look at the good time I'm having") and you see all the other people in the class.  They didn't ask anyone if it was okay.  People come home from mission trips with hundreds of pics of people in foreign countries, did they even ask?  How many selfies and videos have you seen that include other people that have no clue they are in them?

 

I remember one of our pastors came back from a mission trip in Kenya and said they saw a group of Masai people walking down the road and started to take their pics but then the people started throwing rocks at them.  The pastor was actually offended!  I was like how would you like it if you were walking with your family and some strangers started snapping pics of you?  They are people, he should have asked.

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Yes. I hate it but there's not much I can do about it.

 

I had some woman walk up to me outside the library last summer and ask to take a picture of my children kissing each other. No way. And then she said, "oh. Are you a daycare?" No and that wouldn't change my answer either? We just high tailed it to the van and left.

 

I think part of the problem is that everyone presumes everyone is looking for a moment of fame or limelight, so they act like they are doing us a compliment or favor of some kind. No. It really isn't.

 

One woman specificly gushed about how beautiful baby girl is a couple months ago and said she wanted to photograph her for a magazine. I politely tried to cover my horror and she said, "oh I'll use her name to give credit! She could be famous she's so beautiful!" When that didn't sway me, she offered to do let me give a small interview about having a large family. Bless her heart, she had no idea with each "enticement" she was making it worse. She couldn't have incited me to leave faster if she'd yelled there was a bomb. Lol. Just no way no how not likely to ever do any of that willingly.

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I would have taken a picture of him while he was taking a picture of me/my family.  Maybe posted it to a public forum or something as a PSA...

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It is an issue. When we were in Egypt a man approached and asked if he could take my photo. I said no, and he took it anyway then said it would be posted on facebook with the caption, my new American girlfriend. As a visitor in that country, I figured making a stink about it would be worse than just hoping nothing happened because of it.

 

 

GRRRRR.......

 

I like the idea of turning the tables on him, taking a photo, and then loudly announcing that you'll be posting it on social media with a "look out for this creepy guy" caption.

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That said, I am sure that surreptitiously we all have our photos taken here and there when out in public, but hopefully most of those are accidentals, background of someone else's vacation photo or whatever. I am just more tuned in because as a 4H leader we can't use photos of the kids without media release from the parents, and if we don't have that, we have to separate those children out.

 

It was an issue this year when one of the parent's of a rocket team member didn't want his name or photo used. So it ended up that he wasn't in any of the newspaper articles, separated out from NASA's photo shoots, and couldn't appear on camera when they were interviewed. Essentially from the outside world's perspective,we had one less rocket team member than we actually had. He didn't even participate in the NASA skype presentations because NASA records those for internal use so they can review the kids' answers to important questions if there are any concerns. It really hampered his ability to participate in the program. Because the NASA program is smaller and media is easier to manage, we were able to make it work, just barely. But he is off the team for TARC this next year because with 2000 spectators, numerous news outlets, professional photographers everywhere, it will be impossible to keep him out of photos. His parents are upset that we can't guarantee his anonymity so he can participate, but it is impossible, and frankly, for a set of volunteers, too much work for us to even try.

 

So part of public life is being photographed without our express knowledge. Still, approaching someone to do it, being told no, and doing it again anyway is a really CREEPY thing to do!

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That's kinda crazy and rude.

 

Yes. I think a woman photographed us or video taped us when dh pulled the car up over the curb in front of the mall to help us load the kids and shopping bags in the pouring rain. I didn't know he was going to go up over the curb! We weren't blocking anyone. He just didn't want the kids having to walk across the parking lot in the rain and there was this area where he could position the car out of the road near one of the stores to load us.

 

Dh said someone took a picture of him somewhere... Walmart or something I think.

 

I have seen a picture on my facebook feed where someone took a photo of someone at walmart to comment on their clothing. One of those "People of walmart" type photos. But she personally took it. I wouldn't do that. Another time a girl on my FB feed showed a picture of a pregnant woman with an energy drink in the ob/gyn waiting room. She was commenting on the mom drinking that and took the photo herself. Okay well you didn't have to post her image. I'm not even sure if it was her drink. I'd hope that if I was in the ob/gyn waiting room of all places no one would be photographing me.

 

When I'm in public and someone is in the background of my photo I often crop them out.

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Dd17 is online in a very public way. I see YouTube videos that other people have made about her all the time. Some are fun, some are teenage boy angst type, and some are just weird. Nonetheless, we just fight to keep her identity secret. But, your mall experience is beyond strange. Was the guy taking random photos of others, too?

Edited by Minniewannabe
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This used to happen to us a fair amount when we lived in lower Manhattan.  Giant tour buses with groups from all over the world come through all the time, and tourists used to take pictures of my kids.  It was super upsetting and weird.  I used to try and block the photo, but once a friend of mine actually chased one of these people down, made him give her his camera, and deleted the pics.  

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Something like this happened with ds years ago at an amusement park. We were in a kids play area (12 and under). Ds and dd were up on the rope bridge/tree house when some teens approached and said they wanted ds's picture. Dd told them no (speaking for ds as the older sister ), but they took it anyway and left quickly. Dd came and told us right away. Dh went to track them down but couldn't. He is very defensive about this sort of thing, especially given the special nature of ds's situation. 

 

When dd has gone to anime/comic-con type things, people have asked for her picture and are always very respectful. She says yes, because she is dressed as a character and there is a purpose to it. It's not random. 

 

I would have been weirded out by your (op's) experience. That's just odd. :confused:

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I have asked for prayer for my friend with the custody issues... her ex and his new "woman" are in a state of constant surveillance of my friend and have angered countless people in the community they live in by videoing  and photographing people who are by her. It has gotten to the point that my friend has to warn everyone standing by her at a soccer game or band concert that they are being photographed. This a a ploy to leave my friend with no friends and separate her from the rest of the parents at events. Unfortunately for the ex she is lovable and charming and people still associate with her. 

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I have asked for prayer for my friend with the custody issues... her ex and his new "woman" are in a state of constant surveillance of my friend and have angered countless people in the community they live in by videoing  and photographing people who are by her. It has gotten to the point that my friend has to warn everyone standing by her at a soccer game or band concert that they are being photographed. This a a ploy to leave my friend with no friends and separate her from the rest of the parents at events. Unfortunately for the ex she is lovable and charming and people still associate with her. 

If I lived near, I would organize the group to form barriers around her from these a**holes so they wouldn't be able to get any good video, and I would talk/yell very loudly while they were videotaping about what a horrible excuse of a human being that so and so ex husband is - well, as long as the children are not within earshot.

 

I'd also have people approach him and videotape him videotaping her, and talk very loudly about stalking charges. Very loud. Literally I would organize people to do everything I could to reverse the tables on him and make it so uncomfortable for them that they would leave.

 

Unbelievable that people take divorce to this level of insanity.

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Our rent house is our former house.  I deliberately made the back fence so that you couldn't see in just by driving by.    There is a back alley, and you can see in people's back yard as you drive by just from the space between the boards.   So, I made the fence in two layers with an overlap.   Our current renter said that the reason she wanted my house was because of the fence.  (and the garage, but the garage is normal).   Her ex told their daughters that he planned on "keeping tabs" on her.   Even when she lived farther away he would frequently drive by.  

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If I lived near, I would organize the group to form barriers around her from these a**holes so they wouldn't be able to get any good video, and I would talk/yell very loudly while they were videotaping about what a horrible excuse of a human being that so and so ex husband is - well, as long as the children are not within earshot.

 

I'd also have people approach him and videotape him videotaping her, and talk very loudly about stalking charges. Very loud. Literally I would organize people to do everything I could to reverse the tables on him and make it so uncomfortable for them that they would leave.

 

Unbelievable that people take divorce to this level of insanity.

The trouble is the children usually are around. He and his new love have no shame at all and I think they are having fun together harassing my friend. It is every abused woman's worst nightmare. He married ANOTHER abuser that is his new BFF and together they are harassing her. A anther friend of my friends is a PI who has worked in many high profile divorces but he told my friend that in 26 years he has NEVER seen people as sick as those two. 

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Because our twins are foster boys and known to child protection it is illegal to have photos of them published or uploaded onto the internet. I have had to tell this to people trying to take photos of us, the preschool has been very supportive and banned any photo taking at preschool including during their annual play.

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We have this issue often, particularly when traveling. We are a blonde family and often have Chinese people stop us and take our family pics. Even grabbing our children to pose with them. It is infuriating. They don't even ask.  I'm not talking about 1-2 people, lots... One of my kids has even started hiding her hair with a hoodie when traveling. 

 

This happened to us once.  We were in a museum (in the U.S).  I took a restroom break and when I came out there were several foreigners sitting on a bench with my children on their laps.  I was completely icked out.   :ack2:

 

I would have told them off, but they didn't speak English.  My face probably said plenty, though.

 

l understood that they meant it as a compliment to my beautiful, large family, but it still made me uncomfortable not knowing where those pictures would end up.

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That's kinda crazy and rude.

 

Yes. I think a woman photographed us or video taped us when dh pulled the car up over the curb in front of the mall to help us load the kids and shopping bags in the pouring rain. I didn't know he was going to go up over the curb! We weren't blocking anyone. He just didn't want the kids having to walk across the parking lot in the rain and there was this area where he could position the car out of the road near one of the stores to load us.

 

Dh said someone took a picture of him somewhere... Walmart or something I think.

 

I have seen a picture on my facebook feed where someone took a photo of someone at walmart to comment on their clothing. One of those "People of walmart" type photos. But she personally took it. I wouldn't do that. Another time a girl on my FB feed showed a picture of a pregnant woman with an energy drink in the ob/gyn waiting room. She was commenting on the mom drinking that and took the photo herself. Okay well you didn't have to post her image. I'm not even sure if it was her drink. I'd hope that if I was in the ob/gyn waiting room of all places no one would be photographing me.

I despise those people of Walmart pictures. Same goes for those vids and pics of people coming off post surgery medications. I think it's cruel and petty and generally donkey butty betraying.

 

I think that DJ/model woman who took the locker room picture of the older woman and then posted it to FB as body shaming didn't get near enough punishment, but I'm glad she got some. Even when she apologized, she didn't really. She said she meant to only share it with a friend, not the entire www. She really didn't get that that doesn't make it okay.

 

When I'm in public and someone is in the background of my photo I often crop them out.

Me too. Edited by Murphy101
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I despise those people of Walmart pictures. Same goes for those vids and pics of people coming off post surgery medications. I think it's cruel and petty and generally donkey butty betraying.

 

I think that DJ/model woman who took the locker room picture of the older woman and then posted it to FB as body shaming didn't get near enough punishment, but I'm glad she got some. Even when she apologized, she didn't really. She said she meant to only share it with a friend, not the entire www. She really didn't get that that doesn't make it okay.

 

Me too.

 

 

Yeah, I don't like the shaming people trend either.  And anyone can have a bad photo taken of them. 

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That would be weird, but on the other hand, you have to think about the crimes that have been exposed lately precisely because we have the right to take pictures or videos of people without their permission in public. The most recent one I can think of is the guy who murdered another man in a parking lot by choking him because he saw the guy urinating in public. Without the video, that guy would probably walk free. The guy's daughters tried to tell the person making the video that they'd have him arrested for filming, but he kept filming anyway because he knew that it's legal in this country. If photographing/filming people in public was illegal, the police could arrest anyone who tried to film them committing a crime.

 

So yeah, I'd feel annoyed too, but in the bigger picture it actually helps us preserve our freedom and safety.

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I don't think you have any reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place.

 

However, with that said, deliberately taking multiple pictures of somebody against their will is creepy and weird. Crowd scenes, fine. People watching, and you get one picture of whomever it is? Probably okay unless it's something that will embarrass or humiliate them, in which case you should refrain. Taking a picture of a public figure or an official (the mayor, a policeman in uniform, Superman)  - sure. Taking picture of a crime? Definitely.

 

But taking multiple pictures of somebody who told you to stop? It might be legal, but it's not nice.

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I once had a 20something approach me with a video camera and ask me "is it okay if I take your picture?" It was obvious that he was already filming me me laying on the beach with my husband. Bizarre.

 

I also had a man come into a childcare room (without a child) and start taking photos of DD. I was so shocked and horrified that I spoke polietly to him and left. If I had been in my right mind I would have called the police and/or screamed at Creepy Man.

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That was odd and I am guessing like others, it was kids acting stupid...or a social experiement.

 

DD18 and her date had prom this weekend.  They were stopped by Asian tourists and asked if they could take their pictures. They asked if they had just gotten married, LOL  DD18 is tall, fair, blond and was in a forest green dress, he was in a tux and they were in a limo.  It kinda cracks me up that DD is in some random families vacation photos. She was with a group of 8, but she said they singled her out and kept talking about the green dress and good fortune. She just smiled and slipped away when she could.

 

There are lots of pictures of dd online, with her name and some general information..  She was in sports for years, so it isn't like these pictures are going to expose her to the world more than she already is.

Edited by Tap
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We have this issue often, particularly when traveling. We are a blonde family and often have Chinese people stop us and take our family pics. Even grabbing our children to pose with them. It is infuriating. They don't even ask.  I'm not talking about 1-2 people, lots... One of my kids has even started hiding her hair with a hoodie when traveling. 

 

 

This happened to us once.  We were in a museum (in the U.S).  I took a restroom break and when I came out there were several foreigners sitting on a bench with my children on their laps.  I was completely icked out.   :ack2:

 

I would have told them off, but they didn't speak English.  My face probably said plenty, though.

 

l understood that they meant it as a compliment to my beautiful, large family, but it still made me uncomfortable not knowing where those pictures would end up.

 

 

That was odd and I am guessing like others, it was kids acting stupid...or a social experiement.

 

DD18 and her date had prom this weekend.  They were stopped by Asian tourists and asked if they could take their pictures. They asked if they had just gotten married, LOL  DD18 is tall, fair, blond and was in a forest green dress, he was in a tux and they were in a limo.  It kinda cracks me up that DD is in some random families vacation photos. She was with a group of 8, but she said they singled her out and kept talking about the green dress and good fortune. She just smiled and slipped away when she could.

 

There are lots of pictures of dd online, with her name and some general information..  She was in sports for years, so it isn't like these pictures are going to expose her to the world more than she already is.

 

 

We had very similar experiences when we brought our small children to campus while DH and I were at a university well known for many busloads of (predominantly Asian) tourists. Our blonde, blue-eyed, curly-haired babes attracted many cameras. It wasn't as violating as it was inconvenient. Truthfully, if friends came back from a trip to China with photos of cute kids living out a stereotypical Chinese experience, I probably wouldn't register it a unusual. Also, I had posted (unidentified) photos of my children to public online photo albums so family members could see the children, so I may have more open attitude than others on this thread.

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