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Silly Question: Nicknames


imagine.more
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My youngest is named Margalit, a derivative of Margaret. Everyone calls her Margalit or Meg, about 50/50. I as an endearment often call her Meggy or my little Nutmeg, only to her. My oldest daughter has started copying me and calling her those, which is kinda annoying and makes me sad because that was my endearment. Is that dumb? All my kids have had little nicknames that only I/my husband use when they're babies. My MIL has also done that with some of them with her own cutesy version of their name. It's sweet and I like that they have that special affection with her.

 

When I was a kid my dad called me a nickname ONLY he used and I would have looked askance if anyone else tried it. Similarly my sister had a particular nickname of her name that only my aunt and one childhood friend ever used. It was special to just them. It never occurred to me someone else would use a name that was unique to one family member using.

 

What do you think? If you start using a nickname/term of endearment one-on-one do others start using it too? Does it annoy you if they do?

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I get it. My MIL occasionally used a nickname I've used for DS when he was little and it bothered me. I think it's especially aggravating when it's a possessive nickname for your own baby.

 

Only a few people are allowed to call me "Annie." My mom never does, but my dad, siblings, and a few friends sometimes do. DH doesn't even call me that.

Edited by AnnE-girl
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My dad had a nickname only he called me, but while I would have been surprised if someone else used it, I don't think it would have bothered me unless they were doing it in a mocking tone.

 

I have nicknames for all my kids.  Some of them are personal terms of endearment that would seem odd coming from someone else.  Like I call my DD "Boo", no one else does.  I have no idea how she would feel if others tried to call her that.  DS called his sister "Pigeon" which has caught on and their friends have started to use it.  She doesn't seem to mind, even though it is a special nickname between DS and her.

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I have a nickname for my one child and then in laws decided they were calling him that. I was the only one using it and it was just between the two of us. I was so annoyed too! To this day they still use it and I would have corrected them if DH hadn't thought it wasn't a big deal. So I just changed what I called him and choose not to say it in front of them. So I completely understand.

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It wouldn't bother me but I never had a special nickname that only one parent used. It sounds like that was memorable to you and you might want to share that with your own child. In that case I might have a gentle conversation about that to see if your daughter minds if others use it or not. You could even encourage others to come up with their own nicknames.

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An acquaintance using a special nickname would bother me, not a family member living in the same house. However, I have things that bother me that would not bother anyone else in the world.

 

If your daughter is old enough, you could explain how it's special just like you have a special name for her. If she's younger, maybe you could help her come up with her own special name for her sister.

Edited by Rach
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It would bother me.

 

Siblings using our family nickname is OK. We never used our special nickname for a child in front of a grandparent except for once, she tried to use it and we asked her to please not call her that.

 

We do not use nicknames for our children. The first really has no common nickname, similar to "Holly" but the others do, but we almost always use their full name in public, so that's what others do.

 

If our child whose name has literally hundreds of variant names actually went by one of them, and others called her that as well, I wouldn't be upset.

 

If, for example, the name was "Isabella" and we called her "Bella" and others did as well it would be harder to be upset with that than if we only privately called her "LaLa" and someone tried to do so too.

 

All of this is also assuming a younger child, under 12 or 10 or so. But if the child of any age tells people "Call me LaLa!" from the example above, I wouldn't try to prevent it.

 

This is also assuming that the nickname is an actual name/variant. I can't think of a substitute name that won't give away one of my children's private family nicknames... but it isn't a "name" but an outstanding feature. No one else gets to call her that.

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I always give nicknames (DD has like 20 different ones) and I like it when the kids or DH pick it up, it just strengthens our WHOLE family bond.  It's a sign of love and closeness that you and and all your children can share.  Now for others outside of our family to use them.... not so sure how I'd feel about that.

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It doesn't bother me, but it doesn't happen often.

 

Sometimes relatives might call one Con Man, but I think most people shy away from it because of the connotation, lol.  It's mostly just dh and me, sometimes the other kids.  I've distorted by daughters' names so much that I'm really the only one to call them Bales and Porgs.  :lol:   But my "baby"?  We never thought one of nickname would be for public use, and yet I'd say half of all people use it regularly.  His actual name can seem like a mouthful when calling out informally, and he's comfortable with others using the nickname. (And he prefers it for writing.)

 

We (immediate family) also call the youngest "Boo". Other people don't call him that, but you should have seen the horrified look he gave some stranger who was calling his own kid "Boo" a while back! He really did feel that someone stole his name. The nerve of some people!

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