College Acceptances/Rebuffs - would you do anything differently?

[mirabillis]

Now that college application season is over and done with and most everyone has made their decisions, I'm sure there are many who are faced with the unfortunate presence of a college rebuff (rejection is too strong a word). Especially as many apply to a multitude of schools, dream schools, probably schools, safety schools, etc - even the brightest and best of the bunch can be faced with that awful turn-down letter, especially if going for tippy-top, lottery-style colleges.

 

Having been down the path, would any of you have done anything differently? Any tips that may help those of us just starting down the high school path toward college?

 

Thanks and congrats to whatever path your dc have chosen! No matter the outcome, give yourself a pat on the back for getting them there!

 

 

[Julie of KY]

At first in the college search, my son couldn't see himself moving away from home. I said that was fine, but he had to look at a few schools.

 

In the process, he visited and fell in love with Vanderbilt. He applied early decision and got in (fortunately). His BIG REGRET is that he didn't apply to more top schools in that he never did have a second choice school that he was happy with. He had schools he applied to that would easily accept him and give him money, but he didn't feel like he fit into them. 

 

I would look at acceptances and finances. In addition, I'd look at what the school has to offer in the department you are interested in - they vary widely. If your student is interested in double majoring, look at how easy it is to do so. Some schools make it easy to add a second major - just do the major courses. Others make if difficult. For instance math would be natural to add to many engineering degrees - at some schools you just have to fulfill the math hours. At others you have to fulfill all the general requirements of the  School of Arts and Science in addition to the School of Engineering which makes it difficult to add anything to an engineering degree. 

 

Edited to say that I will be starting earlier with my second so that we have time to process and take unexpected turns without feeling too rushed.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Julie of KY

[regentrude]

I think rejection is a perfectly appropriate word. The college application process is extremey intrusive and feels more like a courtship on part of the student.

My advice would be to try to keep a healthy distance and not take the rejections too personal.

 

If interested in top schools, apply to several and don't have your heart set on a  single choice. Add in a few less selective ones and one or two safeties where the student would feel comfortable attending. My DD applied to 12 schools. She received 6 rejections. Of the 6 acceptances, two were to top tier schools.

 

Keep things in perspective. After the first year of college, the student will barely remember what schools all he applied to. It will all be fine, even if the dream school does not work out.

[mirabillis]

 

Keep things in perspective. After the first year of college, the student will barely remember what schools all he applied to. It will all be fine, even if the dream school does not work out.

i do concur that any school will become the 'right' school once a year in. it's just hard to think that way i'm sure when 'rejections' come through. but great advice nonetheless!!!

[Garga]

 

 

Edited to say that I will be starting earlier with my second so that we have time to process and take unexpected turns without feeling too rushed.

 

 

So when will you start the second time around?  

 

Especially if your child has absolutely zero clue what he's interested in doing?

[Julie of KY]

So when will you start the second time around?  

 

Especially if your child has absolutely zero clue what he's interested in doing?

 

I started with my first in junior year (and thought it'd be a quick easy look at a few schools and go to state univ.). As he looked at a few, he started getting interested in looking at more. We did some during jr year and many over the summer between jr and sr year. I told him he could apply sight unseen and sort it out later, but fortunately he got into his first choice.

 

My second has done some looking his sophomore year. I picked out a state univ, small tech school and one selective school to look at for engineering. After doing these, he has a better idea of what he might like - small vs big, scope of classes, location. Now we will sit down and discuss a lot more schools that might fit him and have the time in the next year or two to make some decisions. 

 

It'll be completely new as my daughter will look at schools very different than her brothers.

[regentrude]

As for starting the process:

my highly ambitious, academically interested DD did not start thinking about a list of schools until summer before Senior year.

my minimalist, barely wanting to do college, DS started thinking summer before jr year and had one school on his list he wanted to see. He chose his top choice early fall of senior year, ended up only applying to that one and the ultimate safety (and did not even bother with the one he toured).

[GoodGrief]

The applicant needs to show interest, especially where competitive scholarships are involved. Yield is definitely a concern for schools, and the student needs to act like every school is the Top Choice (and ultimately, one never knows how the application season will play out. Top Choices do change.)

 

Also, it's wise to fulfill as many of the optional parts of the application as possible. It's another way of showing interest.

[Gwen in VA]

The process is so different with different kids that I found it almost a new process with each kid.

 

1) Don't bother applying to schools that you can't afford and that don't offer merit aid. Just don't.

 

2) Miracles do happen. Someone has to win that "only given to 1% of the class" merit aid award, and it could be your kid, so if the school offers merit aid of the sort that makes the whole thing affordable, do apply no matter how unlikely you think it is.

 

3) Worry less about the name and more about the education the student will receive and the life lessons (aka other students and profs and EC's) that will be learned along the way.

 

4) If the kid is undecided, encourage him to apply to a wide variety of schools. A college that seemed like a perfect fit in October may no longer be so in March -- so encourage undecided kids to play the field a bit longer.

 

5) And if your kid knows exactly what they are doing and financial aid isn't a concern, apply Early Decision. It ups the chances at acceptance at top school considerably.

 

5) And don't worry about the name. Focus on the educational (and other) experiences the student will be receiving. Is it worth the time and money? Is it superior to the other options?

[teachermom2834]

Don't be afraid to think outside the box or check out a school you maybe have never heard of. At the beginning of the process with my oldest I struggled with looking at schools I had never heard of before. By the end of the process the two favorites were schools with zero name prestige. I realized the reason I had heard of most schools was because they had a good basketball team. Not a good reason to consider a school worthy if you don't have a basketball player!

 

I was grateful my ds wasn't hung up on names either. The school he ended up at is a small one that even people in the region are often unaware of. He is having a good experience and got a great financial deal. Dream school? No, it isn't anyone's dream. But a very good fit for him and he is running with the opportunity.

 

So- my advice is not to be afraid to think outside the box. There are some hidden gems out there for particular students.