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I used to embrace change, welcome it even......


DawnM
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but I have gotten old and tired and change makes me worry about the what ifs.

 

Even simple things.....I have wanted to change churches for a while, but it is just easier to stay where we are, even if I am not completely satisfied there.  

 

Even a job change, I worry it may have a new set of issues, and I am content with the old set of issues (even though I DO want to move to a new position.)

 

What things are you set in your ways about?  And how old are you?

 

DH and I were commenting that even 10 years ago we were far more willing to pack up and move and see life as an adventure.  We aren't so much anymore.  We are 50.  I NEVER thought I would be this way.  You could have asked me even 5 years ago if I were set in my ways and not wanting change and I would have laughed at you!  I love adventure and change and moving on......or did......sigh.

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I used to love to move around. As I get older, the kids are older, financial decisions are more important, I'm juggling more things in a precarious way, parents are aging, etc.

 

Life becomes ETA LESS spontaneous as I get older because I view it as more serious, I think. I would love to move from here, but we won't because of family and finances.

Edited by displace
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Hmmm...I am 49. I starting a new job in the fall, only part time since I have one more year of homeschooing but with the option of full time for 2018/19. I am a little nervous after years of being out of the workforce, but it is a fantastic opportunity for me, and am ready to embrace that challenge.

 

We made a church change over a year ago, and have not settled into any church home. Earlier in life this would have driven me nuts, but now it is perfect. We need some space from now and simply need to worship no strings attached.

 

We are extremely dissatisfied with the area in which we live so will also make one more major move. I am looking forward to that.

 

So I guess that as yet, I am still doing okay with change.

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Oh, and we're also hoping to move locally.  But, it's a bit sad at the way it's going.  We're not looking for a house to raise our family in.  We're looking at "the last house we may ever buy".  Yeah, kind of depressing really.  Although, I am excited about moving. I've been unhappy here since we moved, so it's time to cut our losses and go.  But, it's still a bit sobering.

 

 

Edited by PrincessMommy
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I think that as we age we see that some of the changes we've made in the past didn't work out well.  When we're younger we can be more optimisitic because we haven't been burned yet. 

 

At least that's how it feels to me.  I'm not quite set in my ways yet, but in other areas I used to be more pie-in-the-sky.  Now I'm more down to earth.  The pitfalls that can happen are more real to me now.  And there's not as much time or energy to recover if something goes wrong. 

Edited by Garga
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I'm 47 and dh is 60.

 

I wouldn't mind changing my house (it's a tiny, somewhat dilapidated bungalow). We are more likely to fix up and add on than we are to move. Although we have been semi joking about dh retiring, collecting social security, selling everything to buy an rv and live on the road.

 

We started at a new church 3 years ago.

 

I returned to work in 2013 after 8 years of not working but I really didn't have much choice. I quit that job last year just because I could, and that was hard. First time in my entire life I quit a job without having another one lined up. I was laid off while on maternity leave with d's, so didn't have to quit then.

 

I guess im still okay with change.

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I think that as we age, we see that some of the changes we've made in the past didn't work out well. When we're younger, we can be more optimisitic because we haven't been burned yet.

 

At least that's how it feels to me. I'm not quite set in my ways yet, but in other areas I used to be more pie-in-the-sky. Now I'm more down to earth. The pitfalls that can happen are more real to me now. And there's not as much time or energy to recover if something goes wrong.

I very much agree with this. At my age while I still do not mind change, I also have the wisdom to know that rarely is the grass greener on the other side of the fence! In terms of going back to work - college expenses. Period. And while the job is a great opportunity, I have no delusions about how easy it is going to be to juggle home responsibilities, my aging and unwell mother, my chronic anemia,....

 

The area we move to will be without even the slightest dream of fitting in or making connections. The goal is easier travel, access to far better healthcare facilities as we age, more economically stable area so services are likely to remain fairly even instead of the constant cuts, cuts, cuts we see here which include a near elimination of assistance for elderly and disabled. This has turned out to be a very bad area in which to age.

 

I think we used to embrace adventure without a lot of thought when we were younger and more prone to being overly optimistic.

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Okay, apparently I'm a weirdo. I think I'm far more open to change now than I've been in a long time. My youngest went to college last fall and I have the time and mental space to make changes, experiment and try new things. As long as I had kids in the house, I didn't have the physical or mental energy for major changes beyond what was absolutely forced upon me. 

 

 

 

ETA I'm turning 50 in just a few days.

Edited by Momto2Ns
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I'm in my 50's, but I still enjoy change.  In fact, I've enjoyed more extreme and even mildly risky changes in recent years because our kids are now all young adults and if something happened to us it wouldn't be as big a deal.  Also, we experienced quite a set-back (a HUGE unexpected change) 6 years ago and since then, even big changes seem pretty minor now, and can be a nice distraction.   :)  Change gives me energy.

 

 

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This is a big deal to me. I don't know if I want more change myself, even if it's for the better. DH and I have changed our lives three times in 26 years of marriage. That just might be enough. I don't know for sure though, but change just takes so much energy and I don't know if I have the energy for it at all. 

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I'm in my early forties. Change is still exciting to me in some ways. I would love to move cross country and am a little envious of those of you who do. Sometimes change just breaks up the monotony of life.

 

In other ways, it's hard. Sometimes I'm afraid of what's on the other side. I read somewhere that as creatures of habit we tend to not make changes until the pain of not doing so becomes greater than making the change. I know I'm guilty of that and am trying to work on it.

 

ETA- That next to last sentence is awkward. I can't think of another way to say it so I hope it makes sense.

Edited by MaeFlowers
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My forties were adventurous and full of changes. My fifties---nah, I'm comfortable where I am and don't want to trade what's good enough and familiar for the newest hottest shiniest thing.

 

The grass isn't greener, it's just different grass.

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Okay, apparently I'm a weirdo. I think I'm far more open to change now than I've been in a long time. My youngest went to college last fall and I have the time and mental space to make changes, experiment and try new things. As long as I had kids in the house, I didn't have the physical or mental energy for major changes beyond what was absolutely forced upon me.

 

 

 

ETA I'm turning 50 in just a few days.

I was feeling like that until my life was turned upside down by family illness and my mother moving in with us. I'm much less secure now.

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I'm in my mid 50's, and I have been making some difficult but good changes. I think that what has helped me is that I now know that I developed a co-dependent personality as a child, and I have been trying to build a more authentic life for myself. It took (and is still taking) a lot of courage, but life is so much better! The settling, sacrificing of self, and the making-do that I was doing for my whole life just wasn't healthy.

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Ah, maybe it isn't age after all, maybe it is kids.  Yes, let's blame the kids!  They do make it much harder.

 

And come to think about it, if the kids weren't involved, I would change churches easily.  But one kid in particular loves our church and I don't think it is fair to him to switch.

 

And we did go to another church yesterday.  It is a church I love BUT it is too far to go regularly.

 

I just turned 51 a month ago, but I still have 3 kids at home, youngest just turned 13, so we have a long ways to go before no kids in the house.

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Ah, maybe it isn't age after all, maybe it is kids. Yes, let's blame the kids! They do make it much harder.

 

And come to think about it, if the kids weren't involved, I would change churches easily. But one kid in particular loves our church and I don't think it is fair to him to switch.

 

And we did go to another church yesterday. It is a church I love BUT it is too far to go regularly.

 

I just turned 51 a month ago, but I still have 3 kids at home, youngest just turned 13, so we have a long ways to go before no kids in the house.

If I didn't have the kids, I'd have moved 2500 miles away and have changed churches 4 years ago.

 

But the kids have all their social ties here and I don't feel good about uprooting them.

Edited by Garga
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If I didn't have the kids, I'd have moved 2500 miles away and have changed churches 4 years ago.

 

But the kids have all their social ties here and I don't feel good about uprooting them.

DH and I did this while our youngest was 13 and it was really hard. I do think it's been for the best... but it's still hard. 

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