Soror Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 ((hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Oh, Sadie, I'm sorry. We are here for you. I was recently reading a book called Parenting Your Teen With Intense Emotion (or something like tat) and one of the most helpful parts was talking about how we parents need to grieve that life will be a lot harder for our child (and ourselves) than we ever expected. Try to focus on what you can control. One step at a time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Sending you a big "I really mean it" hug. So sorry for your pain, Sadie. I hope the professionals there can offer you some genuine hope and help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Hoping you get lots of better fit medical personnels down the road. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I'm so sorry, Sadie. Is this diagnosis from the jerk who keeps talking over your daughter? :mad: I've been to a counselor twice in my life, I think. On my second visit, she oh-so-helpfully suggested that I get angry at my parents. What the heck? They are awesome parents. I didn't go back. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I feel devastated by a turn of events re diagnosis. I can't share details. I can't sleep for crying. All my friends are asleep, so there's no--one I can talk to except here right now. I just wish I could sleep and have a few hours of oblivion, at least. Sadie, I'm heartbroken for you and yours. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Oh, oh dear. I am so, soooo sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Sadie and daughter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 (edited) ((((Sadie)))) I hope you got some sleep and will be able to take care of yourself a bit too in all this. I am so sorry you are going through this and that she is going through what she is. I am glad, though, that she has you. It seems to me that a parent who can honestly say, "I do have regrets and I'm sorry for my mistakes," is a precious thing. In some ways, it might be better than a parent who doesn't appear to make mistakes. Try to speak kindly to yourself. Edited May 25, 2017 by Danestress 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Oh Sadie- I am so so sorry. Many many hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 *hugs* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :0( The hits keep coming...blow after blow. I'm so sorry. It must feel like the world is spinning off its axis and you can't find your footing. :0( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookbard Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Hope you can spend the day with some good friends and cry on their shoulders. We're all thinking of you and yours. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: 's Sadie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 :grouphug: (((((((Sadie))))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingaway Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 So sorry to see the latest. Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 You've been on my mind hugs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 :grouphug: You're a good mama. You can feel how much you love your kids in your posts. I hope your world stops spinning off-axis soon. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I am very sorry Sadie. Continuing to pray for you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 ((((Hugs)))) Sadie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 ASKING for anyone who can tell me: what is DSM/non-DSM? Sorry...maybe glad...to be ignorant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 ASKING for anyone who can tell me: what is DSM/non-DSM? Sorry...maybe glad...to be ignorant. The DSM is the diagnostic manual used by mental health professionals. It has all the currently recognized diagnoses and their respective symptoms. It gets revised on a regular basis and diagnoses get removed, refined or added every few years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 glad you have someone taking care of you too. many hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Sisters are great. I am so glad you are getting a bit of a break. Hugs Nan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 I'm so glad your sister is being helpful and supportive! That's a blessing! Also, I don't know if this helps, but I was thinking that whatever diagnosis they give (or try to give) your daughter doesn't change who she is, you know? She's still the exact same child who you've raised and loved no matter what words are typed on a piece of paper. That said, I know it can be scary and overwhelming to wonder how it will affect her moving forward. I'm so sorry you're going through all this! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Oh, Sadie. I wish I had answers for you! Many prayers for you as you navigate this and figure out what is best for your entire family. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 How bad of a mom would I be to insist to dd's care team that I am not willing to be her full time carer at home for longer than a month or so ? How long do they expect her to need a full time carer? It doesn't make you a bad mum any more than it makes her father a bad dad, or her grandparents bad grandparents. Even on the Carer's pension we're entitled to a certain amount of days off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrysalis Academy Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Sadie, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 How bad of a mom would I be to insist to dd's care team that I am not willing to be her full time carer at home for longer than a month or so ? I am thinking it's pretty bad...especially as that would probably mean, absent a miraculous recovery, a return to hospital...there is no one else who could step up to care for her full time. But maybe it would impress on them that I need more support in dealing with dd's mental illnesses ? I honestly feel there's no way to win with the hospital staff. In the end, dd is their patient and they only really care about her needs. The needs of her family are irrelevant, except as they serve the needs of dd. I am feeling strongly protective of the needs of my other dd, and my ds. Is there a way to get them to transfer care to another hospital? This one seems to be so incredibly difficult to work with. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Is there a way to get them to transfer care to another hospital? This one seems to be so incredibly difficult to work with. Yes. Is there a half way type option for when she's ready to come out of acute care? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I will ask if there is anything residential. I can't imagine there is., but you never know. In our area, after acute care, there's an option to go to a residential place where the patients start taking over some of their own care like cooking and cleaning again. People are usually there for two or three weeks. Maybe there's something like that. I hope so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookbard Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Talk to the hospital social worker, esp about financials. There's this for residential - is Wodonga near you? https://www.mindaustralia.org.au/need-help/mind-services-in-victoria/mind-victoria/residential-services/youth-residential-rehabilitation.html 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 (edited) I guess the solution is to say that I can't fulltime care take, so she needs to stay in hopsital until she is well enough to come home and do without it.Can you get experienced advice anywhere else? I worry that the hospital may be giving you an 'all or nothing' choice because they are under some kind of pressure (to keep paperwork down, discourage use of public resources, keep the hours down of hospital social workers or other employees who could assist you in accessing help, etc.) Some hospitals provide help with making choices at a transition - like finding another placement or accessing government supported assistance at home. I would not want to make this choice before I had all the information I could about options. I also would not want to say, "I can't," if that might start down a road I don't want to go down (for example, if they might recommend that you are not a suitable career and that a new guardian be appointed for her). You are emotional and exhausted and should not have to make these decisions without talking to someone who is knowledgeable and who can help you advocate for yourself and your whole family. Edited May 27, 2017 by Danestress 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 The social worker is a good idea. I'll get onto that early next week, thank you. Our local has posters up with numbers to call for patient advocates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Just piping up to cheer you on and to third the social worker contact. When we were in the transition phase with my dying dad, the social worker was the one who made things happen, who knew the options, who stood up for my dad AND my mom AND my sister and me and stopped the institutional / insurance bullying. She made ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world. She was on a couple days vacation when things got going and were spiraling out of control for us but within two hours of her return, people were playing nice again. I hope you find similar help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 No help but more hugs. You are not selfish for considering the whole family - yourself included. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 Is your daughter being kind/reasonable toward you and the primary issues are with the hospital staff? Or is she adding to the challenges/stresses you are facing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegs Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 (edited) I have close and very recent experience with adult mental health services not far from you, and I can confirm that post-discharge residential rehab is definitely a thing. The social worker is your friend, here. Your DD might need to be assessed by an OT also, depending on the intake procedure for whichever rehab you're looking at. Edited May 27, 2017 by Pegs 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Sadie, you're not a bad mother. You're being a good mother. You can't help anybody, least of all your daughter, if you don't take care of yourself first. Admitting it *before* things fall apart again is good. It's much better than having her home, trying to do it all, and failing. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 Sadie, you're not a bad mother. You're being a good mother. You can't help anybody, least of all your daughter, if you don't take care of yourself first. Admitting it *before* things fall apart again is good. It's much better than having her home, trying to do it all, and failing. Agree w/this so much! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegs Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Oh that's great. Sounds like a very solid plan. Nothing much you can do until Monday, then. I hope the weekend is offering you some respite. Do take care, hey? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Sadie, I haven't been on the boards in ages so just heard your dd is in hospital. I will pray for her and you and your family. Tske care of yourself. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Well, I guess getting at the truth is important for dealing with the future effectively in the long run, awful as it is at the time. For me, finding out the full truth colours the past as well as the future, which I hate. It makes it seem like the destruction is never going to stop. I hope you can focus on your other children today (your tomorrow) and get that bit of a break. I hope the weather is nice for you and you can get outside and try to move and breath a bit. I freeze under stress and I find that forcing myself to walk helps me to cope with the stress. Another aspect of the fight/flight/freeze instinct. If I stomp a bit on my walk, it is even better, I think because that feeds the fight part in a way that is acceptable to the rest of me. You have to find some way of dissipating the physical part of stress if you are to survive. You are the center of your universe, whether it feels like it or not (and as a mother, I am sure it doesn't), and sometimes just focusing on that for a bit will help the rest of you cope. But you know that, I am sure, and have your own way of dealing with things. I'm just reminding you, just in case... I am so sorry, Sadie. Lots of hugs, Nan 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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