Are your young adults under 26 paying their own medical bills?

[6packofun]

Particularly if they are on your insurance?  I just don't understand how a young person trying to make their way in the world can have their entire livelihood, such as it is (lol), taken over by medical bills just from having a nickel sized cyst removedl!  Ds has gotten 4 separate bills totaling over $2000 and we still don't know if the bill we got today is the last one we're going to get because they are all separate.  This system is insane.  He called to make payment arrangements for the $800 bill for the surgeon and thought he was doing well and then the hospital's bill came.  This is outpatient, not general anesthesia and it was almost $4000 (reduced to $1025 thanks to insurance).

 

When you avoid using healthcare it's a shock when you HAVE to!  

 

Anyway, griping aside, I'm just curious if your young adults who are on your insurance help pay premiums and/or their own medical bills.  I WANT to help ds out but we're going to be hit with a huge bill ourselves soon.  (The bill has a sliding payment scale thing for those needing assistance but you have to make $11k as an individual to qualify and he makes $16k.)  I don't think there's a wrong or right answer here, just wondering how it works in other families.  My poor ds' anxiety is through the roof now.  LOL

[Night Elf]

My dd24 doesn't pay any part of our premiums but she does pay for her own doctor visits and prescriptions. We have to help out occasionally by paying for a bill and letting her pay us back in a couple of payments.

 

Neither of my other children pay their own medical bills yet. My ds doesn't go often and his prescriptions are cheap. My youngest dd is in college and only has a summer income that she uses for spending money during the school year.

[Spryte]

No. 25 year old here doesn't pay his own. He just got a job with health ins benefits though. Hard to find in his field, starting out, so this is a start.

[MooCow]

Not if they are still in college.

[Pawz4me]

No. Both of ours are still in college. We'll support them fully (including providing health insurance/paying any OOP medical costs incurred) until they graduate and have full time jobs.

 

(ETA: I don't mean that to sound harsh or critical of anyone who does things differently. Of course your (generic) family's financial situation/overall family culture towards such things has to be considered when making these decisions.)

Edited May 18, 2017 by Pawz4me

[rjand6more]

DS21 is still in college.  We pay all his bills.  We will until he graduates and finds a job.

[Zinnia]

I never thought of how hard it would be to be 22 or 23 with these new high deductible plans. Ugh.

 

I avoid going to physicians because of the cost now. I definitely would have avoided at those ages.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Zinnia

[Guest]

No, not for the most part.  

 

He is 21 and part of a start-up.  They have insurance that he could be part of, but the employee contribution is more than we pay for him, and so he is still on our insurance.  We are spotting him until he gets a real salary (startups are slow on this!) or the start-up makes it or he turns 26.  Until then, once he is able, he can pay his portion on our insurance or go with the start-up's plan.  

 

 

[SKL]

I did starting at age 18, as did all my siblings.  But costs were a lot lower then.

 

I think this will depend on the kid.  I would generally expect my adult daughters to get on some affordable insurance and work out the rest.  But for something catastrophic relative to the young adult's means, after exhausting the options for low-income patients, I would help out if I could.

[Lawana]

We pay dd's health care expenses, which are considerable, since she has Type 1 diabetes. Between her needs and sending ds18 off to college in August, dh is not planning on retiring any time soon, even though he is retirement age.

 

Dd lives away from home and pays her rent, food and gas for the most part. We still subsidize her with help with car insurance, maintenance and a few other things.

[SKL]

I am not sure it's a good idea to pay the bills for an adult who may be able to work it out a different way.  There may be relief given the person's individual situation.  Why shouldn't the individual take advantage of such relief?  That's what it's there for.  It's worked into all the fees and taxes we pay.

[DawnM]

No.  I wouldn't expect them to until they have a job with benefits.

[StephanieZ]

Our oldest is 20, so we still pay all medical bills.

 

I would, personally, intend to do my utmost to cover their medical bills as long as they need help. I surely hope we can keep them on our insurance until they have good insurance through a job and have the resources to cover their own bills. But, as long as they need help, we'll be helping. 

 

I sure hope our country's health insurance system gets fixed (UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE AS A RIGHT) before any of us in our family are bankrupted or otherwise killed. I'm glad I own a business and can choose our own plan . . . and that at this moment, there is still one decent insurer with decent plans selling in our local small business market (thank goodness for the ACA SHOP Exchange, which is on the chopping block . . .)  . . . and that we happen to have $$$ to pay the premiums $$$. We'll keep working hard and hoarding our $$$ until our country's disastrous health care industry is taken over by a competent government body. 

 

Or, we'll move to New Zealand in the next couple years. They have universal health care there. 

 

One way or another, we'll do our best to take care of our family.

[Murphy101]

Dh and I have paid all our own medical since we graduated high school.

 

My dh and I and none of our kids over 18 have insurance. They have to pay their bills same us - any way they can. They do their own eye appts/glasses/contacts and dental appts. We help as much as we can with that and everything else that comes up.

[zimom]

DS 25 has been on his own, working, taxpayer, own health insurance for about a year now.  We have made it clear to him that if he needed help we would certainly help him.  So far he has covered some pretty hefty medical bills.  But we want him to know we are always here.  My husband and I were on our own at 22, DS25 was born shortly after, I was 24 and I can't tell you how hard it was financially.  I never want our kids to feel we won't help them if needed.  We won't be those parents to give them a down payment, buy them a car as adults, etc, but if they NEED help and we can, we want them to know we have their back.

 

[Miss Peregrine]

We plan on paying medical bills until they are off our insurance.

[Crimson Wife]

It's hypothetical at this point but to me, it would depend on what the bill was for. There's a difference between paying for a medical expense that was the result of a lifestyle choice (contraception if not subject to Obamacare mandates, STD testing & treatment, accident during sports or recreational activity, etc.) and paying for an expense that was truly out of the control of the young adult.

 

I don't think it's my responsibility as parent to subsidize the natural consequences of the young adult's poor life decisions.

[QueenCat]

One in grad school, working part time, on our insurance. We pay it all, happily. Other is on his own with his own insurance. If he had to have something major done and needed help, we'd give him the money.

[Cinder]

Not yet, but ds1 just graduated and will start work next month at which time he will be covered by his company's insurance plan. Ds2 is still in college and under our medical plan.

[teachermom2834]

My oldest is 19 and in college. He pays no part of the premiums. If he had a major expense we would pay it but for now if he goes to the dr. or has a prescription he generally pays that out of his pocket. That said, he has not had many medical expenses at all. I think he paid for his own meningitis vaccine before starting college.

 

I do not know what we will do going forward but we have an attitude of teamwork and "we are all in this together" as we work toward launch. I expect those financial responsibilities will be handed over gradually according to the circumstances. This has been naturally occurring. My 17 yo has had some medical issues to deal with and has paid for his visits when he has driven himself and his prescriptions when he picks them up. So far we are gradually walking toward independence.

 

I am sure we would pay for major expenses that came up while kids were in school/working hard/being responsible. It is very hard to get established these days and getting wiped out by medical bills as a young person would be terribly discouraging. However, i can see holding a working child over 21 responsible for premiums if part of a family plan. That is another bill adults need to learn to handle as they work towards financial independence.

 

I can see that in our family this is going to be a fluid situation depending on individual circumstances of each kid.

[Guest]

My three boys ages 19-21 pay their own copays. They are still on our insurance, but they are fulltime college students still.

[Danestress]

No. We pay them. But our deductible has a family cap that we can manage. If he were in his own plan or without insurance, those bills would likely be much higher.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Danestress

[sassenach]

We had dd pay her office/prescription copays this year because she hasn't been in school. If she was in school, or if it was something that cost more than just copays, we would pay for it. 

[mamakelly]

My 20 year old is on our insurance. He pays for his own co-pays and prescriptions. They are pretty low though, he can afford them.

[Loowit]

We will provide insurance as long as we need to for them, but I am not sure how we will cover copays, deductibles, and coinsurance costs yet.  I think we will play it by ear.  Medical bills are a big concern for our family right now.  My DH is looking at a serious surgery and hospital stay in the near future and on top of that we still have all the test to still pay for that are really expensive even with insurance, not to mention that time off from work for all of it.  I don't want my child to have to face that when they are young adults if I can help, but I do think that they should be responsible to cover some of the less expensive things like copays to see the doctor.

 

My niece who is 19 was in a bad car wreck a few months ago.  She ended up almost dying and was in the ICU for a while.  Her medical bills are probably very high.  My sister mentioned to me that they were niece's bills to cover.  Niece has her own insurance and works full time.  She dropped out of college, so all she does is work.  I think that my sister will help her out if she really needed it, but I also think that my niece needs to figure things out for herself.  These years of young adulthood are so hard to balance helping vs. letting them learn adulting.

[Frances]

We are very fortunate that it is not really an issue. Our insurance (health, vision, dental) costs less than $50 per month for our entire family and our family deductible is only $750 ($250 each). As long as we go to our medical home for all referrrals and stay in-network, we pay very little beyond small co-pays and some prescriptions. For instance, we paid only the $250 deductible when my husband had surgery last year, and we paid nothing when my son was put under for wisdom teeth removal (double coverage). If he is still on our insurance when he finishes school and is working, I could see having him pay for things like glasses and prescriptions.

 

I wish the healthcare system in this country was very, very different.

[GoodGrief]

We don't have premiums (military insurance), but we do pay abt $1500/month OOP for our 22 yo's mental health therapy, and have done so for a couple years. She is marrying in August, and will be off our insurance, but we will continue to pay for the therapy as long as we see it benefiting her.

 

[nixpix5]

My two adult sons (22 and 23) are on our insurance but have excellent insurance through their places of employment which means they usually don't have a bill. With that said our oldest had a health issue resulting in a sizable bill and we split it with him. Atleast in our state the living costs for young people are so high we didn't want him to be short on rent or something else due to this. That is alot of money so if I were in your shoes and could feasibly help I probably would and then say "Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas" ;)

[ChocolateReignRemix]

It's hypothetical at this point but to me, it would depend on what the bill was for. There's a difference between paying for a medical expense that was the result of a lifestyle choice (contraception if not subject to Obamacare mandates, STD testing & treatment, accident during sports or recreational activity, etc.) and paying for an expense that was truly out of the control of the young adult.

 

I don't think it's my responsibility as parent to subsidize the natural consequences of the young adult's poor life decisions.

How is a recreational injury a poor decision?

[frogger]

I hadn't thought of this before. I moved out at 17 and was completely self dependent. Of course, things were cheaper back then and I also was only using 2/3 of my lungs by the time I got to an asthma doctor. Had my first baby at 20 and bought my first house at 21. I really hadn't thought of paying for my kids college much less supporting them well into their 20's but health care costs have gotten so extreme it makes me wonder how a kid would survive if they got slammed with bills costing thousands and thousands of dollars. My oldest is still at home but this is sure making me think. I have no idea how I'll handle it especially if he ended up with crazy bills or chronic stuff that required constant money.

[TechWife]

No. So far in 2017 he's had about $1200 in medical bills this year, not counting medication. He hasn't reached his deductible yet. In the next three weeks he'll ring up about $900 more (which will edge him over the deductible). We will keep him on our insurance as long as we can and then expect to pay for a policy for him if he doesn't have access to one. We will do whatever we can to make sure he stays insured and to help with his medical bills if he's unable to pay them.

Edited May 19, 2017 by TechWife

[TechWife]

I am not sure it's a good idea to pay the bills for an adult who may be able to work it out a different way. There may be relief given the person's individual situation. Why shouldn't the individual take advantage of such relief? That's what it's there for. It's worked into all the fees and taxes we pay.

Unmarried adults with no children don't usually qualify for aid to pay for routine medical care.

[Garga]

Ooo. That's a good question. I was on my own health insurance at 18 (or maybe 17?). When I was 17.5, I had graduated from high school and had a full time job. I might have been on my parent's plan until 18. I remember my dad helping me to pick my health insurance from all the offerings at my government job (they offered you a lot of choices back then.)

 

I was married at 19 and most certainly wouldn't have expected my parents to pay anything.

 

But this was back in the 90's when health insurance wasn't insane. When my sons get older, I guess I assumed that if they were working, they'd pay their own bills. I mean, if I'm paying the premiums, the least my ds's could do would be to pay their copays, etc. But now that I'm thinking about it, those super high deductibles are a big hit to a young person today...so maybe it's not as cut and dry as it seems at first.

 

I'm pretty sure if I was in your shoes: if the son is a poor college student, I pay. If the son is working, he pays. If I can offer to help pay the bills, just because I love him and want to help him, I would. But if I simply don't have the money...then I don't have the money.

 

Is the son living at home? Or is he also saddled with all of life's other expenses? If he's living at home and working full time...I'd be further in the camp that he pays. If he's saddled with other bills, then I would try even more to help him out. But just because I want to, doesn't mean I can.

Edited May 19, 2017 by Garga

[Donna]

My boys (ages 19 and 21) are on our health insurance. They pay their own co-pays.

[Crimson Wife]

How is a recreational injury a poor decision?

 

Choosing a dangerous activity or not being careful enough during a normally harmless activity.

[6packofun]

I'm pretty sure if I was in your shoes: if the son is a poor college student, I pay. If the son is working, he pays. If I can offer to help pay the bills, just because I love him and want to help him, I would. But if I simply don't have the money...then I don't have the money.

 

Is the son living at home? Or is he also saddled with all of life's other expenses? If he's living at home and working full time...I'd be further in the camp that he pays. If he's saddled with other bills, then I would try even more to help him out. But just because I want to, doesn't mean I can.

 

 

Ds is at home, has not gone to college yet and works almost 40 hours (the company won't give him FT to avoid giving him insurance).  He bought his own car (outright, no payments), pays his own car insurance, phone bill, medication for anxiety and dr. visits, plus a small amount in rent to us, and is overall very responsible.  These bills are just killing him, though!  Dh pointed out that at his age we were on our own and then I reminded him that we were so low income we didn't even HAVE to pay much for our first 3 children's births!   :(  It's very different for our kids now, isn't it?  I really want to help but our own bills are hurting us, too.  It was just a whopper of a year for medical bills.  lol  "Thankfully", our individual max is $2600 but family max is only like $6000 and we've met it already.  I think we'll just have ds set up a payment plan and let him not pay rent occasionally in lieu of helping him pay.  *sigh*  That's the best we can do!  I know we need to push him along to choose a career path of SOME kind, though, and he's feeling that pressure so I think it will happen soon.  (Having his first girlfriend is also a motivator.  LOL)

Edited May 19, 2017 by 6packofun

[Noreen Claire]

Ds is at home, has not gone to college yet and works almost 40 hours (the company won't give him FT to avoid giving him insurance).  He bought his own car (outright, no payments), pays his own car insurance, phone bill, medication for anxiety and dr. visits, plus a small amount in rent to us, and is overall very responsible.  ...

 

This sounds just like my DS21! If a large bill comes in (dental, eeg, whatever...), we help him by paying a portion of it. We are moving to less and less of this, to wean him off and get him completely responsible for his own bills.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Ds23 hasn't really had any  medical bills so it has been moot.  K has no income and is not all that functional so there is no way they could pay their own bllls.  I'm terrified when K ages out.  Mental illness is crazy expensive and pre-existing conditions means that whatever we planned to spend on college will probably be spent on insurance/medical expenses. 

[J-rap]

We always covered doctor's bills while they were on our health insurance.  I suppose if they were at a good place financially, we'd let them pay for their own deductible if that was necessary.  But so far, none of our kids were at a great place financially before age 26.

[Jenny in Florida]

Anyway, griping aside, I'm just curious if your young adults who are on your insurance help pay premiums and/or their own medical bills. 

 

No, not any major portion.

 

Our 22-year-old daughter, who has graduated from college and has been otherwise financially independent for a few years, is still on our medical insurance and does not pay any of the premium. She covers some co-pays, but we pay any larger bills. For example, she has regular appointments with a therapist, the cost of which is only partially covered by insurance. Bills for the patient portion are sent directly to us for payment. The cost would otherwise be prohibitive, and it's important to us that she not go without care and that the money aspect does not become any kind of stressor (thereby interfering with the goals of the therapy). We've told her that, as long as she is allowed to stay on our insurance, we will continue to cover those costs.

 

She does take care of small co-pays for other office visits and prescriptions, but knows she can always ask us for help with larger medical expenses.

 

Our 19-year-old is still a student. He is working part-time, but we are strongly encouraging him to bank the majority of his earnings while we continue to cover most of his regular expenses.

Edited May 19, 2017 by Jenny in Florida

[solascriptura]

Does your adult child have the ability to pay the medical bills?  It's one thing if they have the money and a job, but it's another if they don't have an adequate source of income.  I wouldn't want them to charge their bills on a credit card.  

[Hen]

yes, my two oldest were on our insurance and pay their own bills and deductables.  My 2nd oldest had several cavaties one visit and we offered to pay half of the bill for her, but that was after she had sweated out the whole "how am I going to pay for this" idea for a whole day.  I think it helped her to renew her brushing habits to better effect :)   Our oldest is at Marine boot camp as a reservist, so she is now on her own military insurance which makes us very very happy. 

[amy g.]

22 year old is in college and on our insurance. She never goes to the doctor so neither of us have paid copays or prescription costs.

 

21 year old is working. He has double coverage through our insurance and the one from his work.

 

We pay his premiums and he pays his copays and other costs. I give him a pretty big monetary gift on his birthday and Christmas which I don't do for the adult kids that we are still fully supporting.

 

18 year old is in college and living at home. We pay all of her medical expenses.

[HS Mom in NC]

My 19 year old has a full time job with benefits and is living on her own, so yes.

 

My 21 year old is working part time, living at home, and doesn't have her own benefits, so no.

 

Our medical insurance keeps going up and we have to buy worse insurance every year or two. We're self employed.  It's currently $1500 per month for the 4 of us, no major or chronic illnesses, with a $13,000 deductible. 5 years ago it was $500 a month for the 5 of us with a $6,000 deductible.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Choosing a dangerous activity or not being careful enough during a normally harmless activity.

 

I am guessing you have never played many recreational sports.  Heck, DH wrecked a tendon just running.

[Χά�ων]

I am torn on this.

 

For a non student adult on parents insurance, I do not think routine, scheduled medical care should be the parents of an adult child's responsibility. If they need to see a Dr. Y every X months they are capable of figuring out how to budget for the visit. Eye care is the same, annual and figure out if they want to spend extra for the designer frames or pick a more economical option.

 

I have no problem helping out with unexpected and major life threatening medical expenses, but I will not starve or max out the credit cards. I will tell them they have to make arrangements with the hospital to spread out payments and I will help buy paying X amount directly to the hospital. And I will not sign as the financially responsible party.

 

There is an exception to helping am adult with an emergency. If a young adult's medical issues are a direct result of them making choices that is known to be detrimental to their health, then I will not cover a cent. I see sports discussed above (I did actually read the posts, just saw it as skimming), that is not what I mean. Sports is a part of an active lifestyle and while it has risks it also has many health benefits.

 

I am talking about chain smokers who get lung cancer, an idiot who gets drunk and then drives into a wall and sustains severe injuries, or a diabetic who will not change their diet/exercise habits and/or refuses to take meds and ends up in a coma in the ER.

 

Hope that makes sense, I am up way past my bedtime

[Aelwydd]

Particularly if they are on your insurance? I just don't understand how a young person trying to make their way in the world can have their entire livelihood, such as it is (lol), taken over by medical bills just from having a nickel sized cyst removedl! Ds has gotten 4 separate bills totaling over $2000 and we still don't know if the bill we got today is the last one we're going to get because they are all separate. This system is insane. He called to make payment arrangements for the $800 bill for the surgeon and thought he was doing well and then the hospital's bill came. This is outpatient, not general anesthesia and it was almost $4000 (reduced to $1025 thanks to insurance).

 

When you avoid using healthcare it's a shock when you HAVE to!

 

Anyway, griping aside, I'm just curious if your young adults who are on your insurance help pay premiums and/or their own medical bills. I WANT to help ds out but we're going to be hit with a huge bill ourselves soon. (The bill has a sliding payment scale thing for those needing assistance but you have to make $11k as an individual to qualify and he makes $16k.) I don't think there's a wrong or right answer here, just wondering how it works in other families. My poor ds' anxiety is through the roof now. LOL

So he makes 16K and has a $2000+ bill? There's nothing amusing to me about owing 1/8 of your gross (pre-tax income). Poor kid, no wonder he is anxious.

 

I've told my kid point blank, go to university in Canada or elsewhere and make a life there. The model of healthcare here in the US is unsustainable, and discourages entrepreneurship. We have excellent insurance through my employer but I can't ever start my own business. I don't dare risk losing our coverage.

 

We've had poor insurance in the past, and it's not just that it's expensive. It's limiting. Many of the best specialists will not accept crappy insurances or cash patients.

 

I hope your ds can get more of his bill reduced and that he can find a job with a better policy.

Edited May 19, 2017 by Aelwydd

[SKL]

I do think we have a responsibility to help our kids think through the medical / insurance stuff before they "need" it.  It should be part of the comprehensive financial planning training we give our kids, prior to age 18, and ongoing as needed.

 

Having them pay their own ongoing costs (including premiums) can help them better understand how it works so they can evaluate their options.  I would also let them see how it works for the other family members.  For example, this year I've had a number of things done which is costing me thousands out of pocket, on top of roughly $10,000 premiums.  The amounts could be higher or lower depending on what kind of insurance package I had.  Based partly on cost, I choose a chiropractor over an MD when that is feasible, treat at home, let nature fix things, etc.  A discussion of healthcare cost management also highlights the importance of prevention as part of a lifestyle.  In addition, part of the training should be how to research and sign up for different options.  When I was young, universities had some deals for students - is that still true?  What are the cutoffs for health-related subsidies, and are there some hospitals / doctor practices that will work with you more than others?  What are the current options for modest-income individuals buying their own insurance?  If the discussion ends up concluding that they need to get a full-time job with insurance sooner rather than later, then so be it.

 

A post above mentions healthcare costs in one case being 1/8 of the person's income.  Actually that is not very high by today's standards, if you include both premiums and out-of-pockets.

[Jenny in Florida]

I do think we have a responsibility to help our kids think through the medical / insurance stuff before they "need" it.  It should be part of the comprehensive financial planning training we give our kids, prior to age 18, and ongoing as needed.

 

Having them pay their own ongoing costs (including premiums) can help them better understand how it works so they can evaluate their options.  I would also let them see how it works for the other family members.  For example, this year I've had a number of things done which is costing me thousands out of pocket, on top of roughly $10,000 premiums.  The amounts could be higher or lower depending on what kind of insurance package I had.  Based partly on cost, I choose a chiropractor over an MD when that is feasible, treat at home, let nature fix things, etc.  A discussion of healthcare cost management also highlights the importance of prevention as part of a lifestyle.  In addition, part of the training should be how to research and sign up for different options.  When I was young, universities had some deals for students - is that still true?  What are the cutoffs for health-related subsidies, and are there some hospitals / doctor practices that will work with you more than others?  What are the current options for modest-income individuals buying their own insurance?  If the discussion ends up concluding that they need to get a full-time job with insurance sooner rather than later, then so be it.

 

A post above mentions healthcare costs in one case being 1/8 of the person's income.  Actually that is not very high by today's standards, if you include both premiums and out-of-pockets.

 

No, that 1/8 of the person's income represents the bill for a single procedure, not for that person's "healthcare costs."

 

And the idea of "evaluating options" sounds lovely, until and unless you happen to be a person who has a chronic issue of some kind that wasn't preventable and didn't happen as a result of a "poor choice" or anything else. 

[Crimson Wife]

I am guessing you have never played many recreational sports.  Heck, DH wrecked a tendon just running.

 

I was thinking more about the many young adults of my acquaintance who have gotten injured doing "extreme" sports. Sorry, I don't see it as my responsibility to help bail you out financially because you got hurt chasing an adrenaline rush. :rolleyes: