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Unibrow...on a young girl


Just Kate
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I sort of have a unibrow (I either tweeze or wax...have been doing this for a long time), so I wasn't really surprised when my dd's eyebrows came in just like mine. When she was in first or second grade, a kid in her class told her she had a unibrow. She came home and asked me what that meant and I explained. But I told her that the hair there is very fine, that she's beautiful, and not to worry about it. Over the years, she has brought it up periodically and I've always told her that when she gets older she may want to choose to remove the hair, but that she is a beautiful girl.

 

Fast forward to now, dd is almost 10 and has been talking about it more frequently. I certainly don't want to make her feel like she needs to do anything, but if she wants to, what would be a good option for hair removal for a young girl? As I mentioned above, the hair is very fine, which should make hair removal a bit easier. Apparently, she pulled out my tweezers one day and tried that, but couldn't go through with it.

 

It is so hard raising girls in this selfie-taking world! She is definitely more in-tune with her "flaws" than I was at that age. I am doing my best to encourage her to feel good about herself for other reasons than her looks. But boy oh boy, it is tough. 

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I can sort of sympathize. 

 

Eldest is 12, almost 13. You can see that he will end up with a uni brow. It's just odd, because I don't know anyone in my extremely large family with one. I don't know anyone in Dh's family with one. He isn't a hairy guy, except in that one little spot. 

 

The joke is that when he grows up he will turn into a villager. (In the game Minecraft villagers are computer players. They all have a uni brow). 

 

But Dh is a boy, so in our society it just doesn't matter as much. 

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I'd tell her that the hairs that are between her brows now are the ones that grew when she was a baby: that's why they are so fine. If she removes them, the new hairs that will grow continually (she might not know) will most likely be more like her current full eyebrow hairs. To me, that's a good reason to hesitate until she's ready for an ongoing beauty regime. How is she with ordinary hygiene routines?

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Tell her that kids don't know what they are talking about. One of my girls has a borderline unibrow and now that she's almost 16, people her age comment on her gorgeous thick eyebrows. Teach her to groom her brows with a brow brush so they are neat and not unruly. Treat it like an asset she's lucky to have.

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DD had a sort of unibrow.  Didn't bother her, didn't bother me.  It bothered her aunt.  Who brought it up upon occasion for years.  DD started getting bothered, too, because daughter of the aunt would also bring it up because she also had a unibrow and just assumed that DD would want to start plucking just like her mom had had her do.  DD got worried. And tried to fix it herself.  And ended up ripping her skin and bleeding all over the place.  I don't recommend going this route.

 

If it is bothering your daughter, then I agree, explain that once she starts removing those hairs they will probably grow back more pronounced so she may have to keep plucking if they continue to bother her.  But if she wants them plucked and has brought it up multiple times and it is affecting her self-esteem, I would do it.

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I'd tell her that the hairs that are between her brows now are the ones that grew when she was a baby: that's why they are so fine. If she removes them, the new hairs that will grow continually (she might not know) will most likely be more like her current full eyebrow hairs. To me, that's a good reason to hesitate until she's ready for an ongoing beauty regime. How is she with ordinary hygiene routines?

 

That's not really how that works. The hair growth cycle is constant, and has been happening her whole 10 years.

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I don't have a full unibrow but I do have a number of coarse eyebrow-like hairs sticking out at odd angles across that part of my nose. My mom started taking me to have it waxed when I was about 11 I think. I don't wax legs or anything like that but one or two swipes of wax across that tiny area is not a big deal. I think it would be a million times easier than sitting still for tweezing at that age. It is not true that removing it makes it grow back in thicker. In fact repeatedly pulling out from the root may eventually damage the follicle to where it won't produce as thick a hair. That's why you have to be careful with eyebrow plucking and why you run into people who after years of over-enthusiasm, are left having to draw theirs in.

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I'd tell her that the hairs that are between her brows now are the ones that grew when she was a baby: that's why they are so fine. If she removes them, the new hairs that will grow continually (she might not know) will most likely be more like her current full eyebrow hairs. To me, that's a good reason to hesitate until she's ready for an ongoing beauty regime. How is she with ordinary hygiene routines?

  

That's not really how that works. The hair growth cycle is constant, and has been happening her whole 10 years.

It will NOT make the hair grow back thicker, darker, curlier, faster, etc. same as shaving legs. It may APPEAR darker, but shaving cuts of the fine tapered tip of the hair, leaving the blunt stubble. IF the hair truly grows back darker, it is almost certain it was going to do so anyway due to hormones/age/growth cycles etc. same with hair removal creams.

 

Over time, waxing and tweezing may actually cause the hair to grow back more slowly, or finer/lighter due to weakening of the hair follicle.

 

Back to what if anything should be done? For a person of any age, if it bothers them, remove it. It isn't a moral issue. It won't make a young child suddenly sprout high heels and start quoting trashy pop songs, LOL! ;)

 

One of my girls had very thick eyebrows, almost completely connected. She looks back at old photographs and asks why I didn't help her clean it up sooner. I didn't want her to think she was less than beautiful, and she is no matter how many eyebrows she has ;) but she wanted it cleaned up but didn't know it was something that could be done. Same with upper lip hair on a girl.

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Facial hair is not worth the low self esteem that can come from it.  I still remember the time that I was teased about my moustache at 8.  She will one day want to take care of her appearance and if its within reason you should allow her to start at 10.   At her age, I would probably just tweeze between the brows.  She can work on the arches in a few years.  

 

I first emphasized to my dd that it will hurt in the beginning, but over time, it really doesn't anymore.  You can try icing it first or some sort of numbing gel.  I first took my daughter to the mall to have her upper lip threaded.  She said that it was so painful that she would rather just tweeze.  

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When I look back, I really wished that my mom taught me more about self care, self esteem, and the like.  She is soooo oblivious to any of it that it would never had occurred to her to mention it.  I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own and it took me (as a kid and pre internet) a lot of time.  

 

 

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Thanks everyone! Dd is such a neat kid...very confident and funny. She does have a love of all things fashion though...and she truly can't wait to be a teenager so she can wear makeup (she is one of those girls who enjoys watching youtube videos on how to apply makeup!). It really isn't surprising to me that she cares about this, I just don't want to steer her wrong or lead her to believe that he value is in her looks.

 

Anyway, I have a friend who owns a salon (dd and I get our hair cut there). I may call and ask about waxing. I don't think I could tweeze dd's eyebrows for her. Are there any other options? I assume that creams are out (since it is so close to her eyes)? 

 

And I agree that it is important to teach kids about self-care. That is a great point!

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My mother did the whole, "you are so beautiful; it's no big deal; ignore them," deal.  

 

I started waxing my eyebrows (and lip) when I was around 18.  GLORY!  It was the best thing in the world for me.  It improved the way I felt about myself about 1000%.  I knew that those platitudes were just that.  I knew that I was different--that most girls did not have a unibrow and a mustache or that they did something about it.  I just didn't know WHAT to do, and I felt shame at even wanting to do it (like I was a silly girl that was just interested in beauty when I needed to concentrate on the inside of me and what was *really* important and how could I be feeling these feelings and didn't I want to be better than those silly, shallow girls).  So it was a big, big thing to me to finally wax.

 

And as an even older adult, I started getting threaded at a place in little India near my house.  Those women?  They act like it is NO BIG DEAL.  Like of course everyone needs to be threaded.  They offer to do my chin, again like it's NO BIG DEAL.  You have no idea how validating that is.  That I'm not the only person to deal with unwanted hair.  Even on my face.  That something is not terribly wrong with me, first for having the hair, and second for caring and wanting to remove it.  

 

Hugely life changing and exciting for me.  

 

My poor mother just isn't that hairy.  She has a few wayward hairs that she tweezed back in the day, but to this day (she is 64), her eyebrows have a beautiful shape, no unibrow, and she doesn't have any unwanted mustache issues.  She says that she has like one chin hair a month.  Bless her heart.  She just didn't understand.  

Edited by Zinnia
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If you decide to go somewhere, look into the different products used.  For years, I waxed between my brows just at any random mall shop.  It hurt like heck, and I thought that was "normal".  

 

I now see a woman who ONLY does eyebrows.  She uses a type of wax that has no cloth strips, just wax on the skin and that's it.  If mall-beauty-store waxing is a 10 on the pain scale, then this stuff is a 2.  It's a huge improvement.  

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Dd noticed her unibrow about 6 months ago and it was bothering her.  We shave just the part in the middle.  I did it the first few times, she's been doing it herself lately.

 

I do the same thing with mine - shave just the middle part.  I don't do any other shaping of my brows but I doubt a razor would work well for anything but clearing up the unibrow.

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You could give her one of those electric shaving wand things (I think they are marketed for nose and ear hair, but they might have a prettied up version for girls). No exposed razor to make mom nervous and no pain involved.

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Thanks everyone! Dd is such a neat kid...very confident and funny. She does have a love of all things fashion though...and she truly can't wait to be a teenager so she can wear makeup (she is one of those girls who enjoys watching youtube videos on how to apply makeup!). It really isn't surprising to me that she cares about this, I just don't want to steer her wrong or lead her to believe that he value is in her looks.

 

Anyway, I have a friend who owns a salon (dd and I get our hair cut there). I may call and ask about waxing. I don't think I could tweeze dd's eyebrows for her. Are there any other options? I assume that creams are out (since it is so close to her eyes)?

 

And I agree that it is important to teach kids about self-care. That is a great point!

Absolutely no creams near the eyes. Biggest danger is of course getting it in the eyes, but also they can run or spread. No big deal if it goes an extra inch on your legs, but not so good on the eyebrows, KWIM?

 

And I know the mini eyebrow shavers are popular, but use caution on darker hair... IMO, stubble is worse than the hair. It isn't as noticeable on fine blonde hair, but I'd rather see ungroomed brows than stubble.

 

For anyone worried about vanity of grooming eyebrows, think of them like fingernails. At the most basic, they need to be cut/trimmed. Nothing wrong with taking an extra step and filing them into a pleasing/preferred uniform shape, right?

 

Another thought: if a young man wants to grow a beard or mustache, and groom it into a particular style, that is perfectly OK, right? So let it be OK for a girl to remove or shape unwanted facial hair.

I realize that most boys can't grow facial hair until an age a bit older than when a girl might wish to remove facial/leg/etc. hair, but seriously, how many people would have a problem with a boy grooming his beard?

Edited by Rebel Yell
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Many salons do waxing on girls that are 7-10.  My dd was about 8 when she started going because she was self conscious about the hair on her upper lip.  Usually they don't do a fully waxed eyebrow on a tween but rather a " clean up" that would eliminate a uni-brow. I agree that the mini shavers can cause pretty obvious stubble and don't work in all situations.

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I started waxing both my daughter's eyebrows, and occasionally lips, at a pretty young age.  Occasionally they will get it done at the salon but for convenience and $$ we do it at home most often.  

 

This is what I bought and it works very well.  No strips needed.  It is a learning curve to get it a nice temperature without being too hot.

A little goes a long way.  I still have everything I purchased 4 years ago.

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QS4JXK/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035LCSH4/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00119TXES/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

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Thanks everyone! Dd is such a neat kid...very confident and funny. She does have a love of all things fashion though...and she truly can't wait to be a teenager so she can wear makeup (she is one of those girls who enjoys watching youtube videos on how to apply makeup!). It really isn't surprising to me that she cares about this, I just don't want to steer her wrong or lead her to believe that he value is in her looks.

 

 

If she's interested in fashion maybe you can point out heavy brows are very in fashion right now thanks to Cara Delevingne. But you probably need to accept that she'll want to do something about it in the next year or so. Most people with unibrows, including myself and my daughter are not fans. 

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I started waxing both my daughter's eyebrows, and occasionally lips, at a pretty young age.  Occasionally they will get it done at the salon but for convenience and $$ we do it at home most often.  

 

This is what I bought and it works very well.  No strips needed.  It is a learning curve to get it a nice temperature without being too hot.

A little goes a long way.  I still have everything I purchased 4 years ago.

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QS4JXK/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035LCSH4/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00119TXES/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I don't know....

 

I remember my sister getting her upper lip waxed at a salon when we were teens.  She came back with a very red all over and a bleeding upper lip (in several patches).  This was professionally done.  I know that a lot of women get waxing done all the time.  However, I feel like for more delicate facial skin, it's better to tweeze or thread.  I would be mortified, even as an adult, if I had the red and bloody upper lip area like my sister did (and she was).  

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Are you sure you couldn't tweeze between her eyebrows? My dd started commenting on the hairs there, and I told her that my sister showed me how to tweeze it around her age. I sat cross-legged on the floor with her head in my lap, wiped the area with alcohol, and did a couple plucks at a time with a break in between. I told her we could stop anytime, but she felt fine continuing. I think she had a hand held mirror to check my work :) After I did it a few times, months apart, she was ready to take over herself. She doesn't do the arches, which are lovely and full, just the hair between.

 

If tweezing hadn't worked and the hair still bothered her, I would have looked into other options. 

 

I'm mentioning this because I think tweezing is easy to try and you don't have to commit to anything--if either you or she don't want to keep going, you can quit. Or come back to it in a few days for a few more plucks. Good tweezers help a lot--I love the Tweezerman Slant Tweezer which gets great reviews: 

 

https://www.amazon.com/Tweezerman-Stainless-Steel-Slant-Tweezer/dp/B003J5JM84?th=1

 

Amy

 

 

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Let her tweeze or wax it. It sounds like if you don't help her she's going to do it herself anyway. It's bothering her and is just not a hill worth dying on.

Definitely not a hill worth dying on! Like I said in my OP, I too have a unibrow and have been tweezing (or sometimes waxing) for a long time. I guess I just worried that 9 was too young. I'm glad to read here that it isn't.

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I don't know....

 

I remember my sister getting her upper lip waxed at a salon when we were teens.  She came back with a very red all over and a bleeding upper lip (in several patches).  This was professionally done.  I know that a lot of women get waxing done all the time.  However, I feel like for more delicate facial skin, it's better to tweeze or thread.  I would be mortified, even as an adult, if I had the red and bloody upper lip area like my sister did (and she was).  

 

You can also very badly hurt yourself threading, especially around thinner skin areas like brows.  The skin can get taken up in the threads and ripped off.  Ouch.  

 

Like I posted upthread, a hair stylist at the mall might be a "professional"... but they use the same wax on legs as they do on faces in most mall shops.  My eyebrow lady is horrified that I have had strips used on my face before.  She swears by the strip-free waxes, and while I don't know which products she uses, they look similar to what the PP linked.  

 

I'm not saying wax is the right or best option.  I'm just saying that there is HUGE variation in wax types and if you have such a thing locally, I'd call around for an actual brow stylist.  In malls, I would spend the whole appointment with teared up eyes and sneezing every 2 seconds because apparently that's how I react to brow work.  With the specific strip free facial wax... I have none of those symptoms.  

 

I don't want to sound like some kind of brow snob- I get my brows done about 2x a year when I need a little pick-me-up, and then it's easy enough for me to see the basic shape and keep up with plucking for a few months.  

 

Anyway, good luck OP!   

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Put this up there with shaving pits and legs. When the kid is self conscious about it or coming to an age where not doing so is going to make her a target of ridicule with her peers, it's time to let them do it.

 

It doesn't mean she isn't pretty regardless, same as clothing and makeup doesn't mean she isn't pretty regardless. It's just about making her prettiness shine.

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And like shaving and feminine hygiene products and makeup, how a gal does it and what method/product they prefer is very personal. I'd let her try a couple methods, showing pros and cons and proper method and then it's her choice.

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Thanks everyone! Dd is such a neat kid...very confident and funny. She does have a love of all things fashion though...and she truly can't wait to be a teenager so she can wear makeup (she is one of those girls who enjoys watching youtube videos on how to apply makeup!). It really isn't surprising to me that she cares about this, I just don't want to steer her wrong or lead her to believe that he value is in her looks.

 

Anyway, I have a friend who owns a salon (dd and I get our hair cut there). I may call and ask about waxing. I don't think I could tweeze dd's eyebrows for her. Are there any other options? I assume that creams are out (since it is so close to her eyes)?

 

And I agree that it is important to teach kids about self-care. That is a great point!

I used to pluck my eyebrows a lot, but lately I've given up caring. They're how they are, that sort of thing (plus having seven kids kind of eats up a lot of self-grooming time!). The fine hairs between my brows though sometimes annoy me. I tried plucking, but that took forever. An easy fix is the sticky strip on a bandaid. Just stick it on and tear it off. It takes a few tries to get them all, but it's faster and much more effective than plucking! 😀

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Threading has been the least offensive to my girls. :)  And to me.  I always react badly to the wax.  Threading makes skin red, but it goes away rather quickly.  We touch it up with tweezing.  My dd12 is very hairy all over.  it bothers her a lot.  We all do it so she feels like it's just a beauty process.

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Don't let her wax or pluck it herself, at least the first time. Either you do it or take her to a professional.  Grooming is one thing, permanently over plucked into a surprised expression is another entirely, and way too many young girls watch youtube videos and over pluck.

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I take my 12yo with me and we both get our eyebrows and upper lips waxed about once a month. Totally worth it! She has been getting it done since she was 10 and it's been no big deal at all. 

 

Just wanted to add that we go to a professional wax salon. 

Edited by Mothersweets
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This is very timely. I'm debating doing something about Dd's unibrow before her First Communion next week. I don't want to be the one to give her the message that there's anything wrong with her natural appearance, but I don't want her to look back at the pictures and be mad we didn't do something sooner. DH has one of those little grooming tools for his eyebrow, although he doesn't always keep up with it.

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I highly recommend these https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/nad's-facial-wax-strips/ID=prod6057887-product

 

There are similar products in other brands like Nair or Sally Hansen. All ready to go, no heating, no mess. Works at room temperature, or rub between hands to soften if it's chilly.

 

My girls and I all use these for the face, and I'm a licensed professional who has access to a wide variety of wax formulas. It's just so much easier to use a quick strip to separate the brows than it is to heat up the warming pot.

 

Hard wax (goes on hot, cools solid, pulls of with no cloth strips) isn't necessarily better than the kind that uses fabric strips. Some waxes are formulated to be used in sensitive skin, coarse hairs, or all-purpose. Some waxes are "washable" meaning the dissolve in water- usually sugar based. Others need oil to remove excess or spills. Burns can occur with any heated wax product. I always tested the temp on my own arm before applying to a client. Microwaveable home wax kits need to be stirred completely before testing temp- they can get hot spots, same as how we're warned against heating baby bottles in the microwave.

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I also have a unibrow and one of my daughter's seems to have inherited it, poor thing, lol. She's only 6 so she hasn't noticed it yet but when she becomes self conscious of it I'll just take her to get it waxed occasionally. 

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This is very timely. I'm debating doing something about Dd's unibrow before her First Communion next week. I don't want to be the one to give her the message that there's anything wrong with her natural appearance, but I don't want her to look back at the pictures and be mad we didn't do something sooner. DH has one of those little grooming tools for his eyebrow, although he doesn't always keep up with it.

I get it.  If she doesn't care, that's great!  But I have to say, as a young woman, when I looked at all of my awkward younger days pictures, I usually cringed.  Sure, I don't mind now and in fact, the quirkier the better, but as a young woman I really didn't like the way I looked.  

 

I'm the one that actually broached the subject of removing my dd's upper lip hair.  I could tell the she was embarrassed when another kid (innocently) mentioned her "moustache."  She is reserved enough that I knew that she wouldn't bring it up first.  One day, as I was tweezing my facial hair, I called her up to my bathroom.  I told her that everyone has facial hair and that it's just darker on some than on others.  Asking her if she ever noticed it on herself, I told her that when she's wants, I'll help her remove it.  That's it.  This put the ball in her court and gave her an option.  She said that she did and I didn't make a big deal about it.   

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DD15 had a pretty good unibrow once she hit about 10yo. She has dark hair and dark brows and very fair skin so it showed.

 

When she got to be about 12yo, she wanted it removed. I waxed the middle for her and it was no big deal. We repeated the process about once a year for her when it bothered her.

 

Fast forward a few years and she has "grown into" her dark brows and they are just thick and nice. So removing them once or twice doesn't mean she is doomed to waxing forever.

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Absolutely no creams near the eyes. Biggest danger is of course getting it in the eyes, but also they can run or spread. No big deal if it goes an extra inch on your legs, but not so good on the eyebrows, KWIM?

 

And I know the mini eyebrow shavers are popular, but use caution on darker hair... IMO, stubble is worse than the hair. It isn't as noticeable on fine blonde hair, but I'd rather see ungroomed brows than stubble.

 

For anyone worried about vanity of grooming eyebrows, think of them like fingernails. At the most basic, they need to be cut/trimmed. Nothing wrong with taking an extra step and filing them into a pleasing/preferred uniform shape, right?

 

Another thought: if a young man wants to grow a beard or mustache, and groom it into a particular style, that is perfectly OK, right? So let it be OK for a girl to remove or shape unwanted facial hair.

I realize that most boys can't grow facial hair until an age a bit older than when a girl might wish to remove facial/leg/etc. hair, but seriously, how many people would have a problem with a boy grooming his beard?

Love ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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  • 2 years later...

I am a Freshman in big highschool I have a moustache and a Unibrow, I don't know if this is just me, but, I feel like from far away it looks like I have no unibrow because it looks faint, but the closer you get to me the worse it gets. I have also been having issues with my moustache especially, I wish I didn't have a moustache, my mom has such a really really faint moustache when you come up really close, like nose to lips close. Anyways, I don't know if I would want to continue this journey of living in a big highschool, going to libraries getting stares at mostly my moustache. I feel like I can defintley handle my unibrow better than my moustache just because my unibrow is fainter than my moustache if that even makes sense, but I get so many stares, and I can just tell how many people think I'm weird, or I look like I'm a boy. Eventually there was this meeting around December or November and it was basically like a debate, I felt so uncomfortable because I was trying to cover my mouth area so people won't see my moustache, after that day I started shaving I have looked better when shaving but on my face I still have a shadow of a moustache. I feel like people like my friends don't realize why I cover my mouth area with my jacket, it's litteraly because it's the moustache!!! It has lowered my self-esteem and lowered my confidence so much to the point where I don't feel okay even participating. I think that my mom doesn't understand about my participation problem because she thinks that I just don't focus in class, but it's not that it's because of how everyone looks at me! I know it's natural, but I am the only girl in the whole entire school to have a moustache and a unibrow. Good thing though my mom promised me to wax my facial hair this july!!! 

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