College journey for the average student?

[creekland]

He doesn't talk to me much about it.  I think it does bother him some.  He said one day, "I will look like an idiot if I go to UNCC or CC after my sister goes to Duke".  So obviously it is there, stewing.  I have worked hard to encourage him not to think of it that way.  I have really tried to sell UNCC as the possible better option for him simply based on living at home (his chronic illness) and the fact that they have a great program for his major (computer science).  They even have a 4+1 program to get his masters in 5 years.  I think that settling into those reasons has helped some.  He isn't aiming for Duke anyway.  He wants to go to NC State.  Computer Science falls under their school of engineering though and while NC State might be a slight reach for him, the college of engineering is a true reach, reach.  

 

ETA Thank you for sharing your story about your DSD.  It is very encouraging  :grouphug:

 

My youngest always had to live in his brother's shadow and felt inferior and somewhat defensive.  We tried to tell him he was fine - it's ok not to be an academic tippy top dude - most of us aren't.  He is smart, etc.

 

He's thriving now in college.  It took him a semester to get going, and his grades have never been all As, but he's thriving - impressing many people - has many friends - has a couple of standing job offers for after graduation - and is genuinely loving life now that's he's found his niche.  We love seeing how much he's grown and don't regret a dime of paying for school (NOT meaning full pay expensive 'cause we're not full pay).  It's been a great investment in his life.  It's perfectly ok that his school isn't listed in the Top 100.  It fits him.

[8filltheheart]

I am following and participating in this thread because my son is somewhat average. He is smart, particularly smart in math, and he is getting A's in honors math and science. But he is much lower in English and History. He has no C's, but he is getting B's and not taking honors in those subjects.

 

And his ACT scores are high in math but low in Language, which puts him at an overall lower ACT score.

 

I am hoping he can still get into a 4 year college from year 1. He is fine with CC the first two years but DH and I feel that the best thing for this kid would be to start at a 4 year school if at all possible. But we don't anticipate merit scholarships based on his scores.

 

Sometimes I feel that I don't belong on this board, the simplistic, "Oh, you should apply to out of state private schools because they offer so much money! My kids got XXX amount and it was completely affordable" but then you find out that kid got a super high ACT score, took 5 AP classes and passed with 5s, etc......

 

That just isn't my kid. It might be my 3rd, but it is not my special needs son with learning disabilities, and it isn't my 2nd son who is content to be middle of the road on things that he doesn't want to put effort into, like English and History.

 

He says he is willing to take the ACT again, but we will see how much effort he really puts into it. He is taking a class over the summer.

Dawn, I have a niece who is a jr at UNCC. She had really abysmal test scores. (And I do mean way below national avg.) She had been DEing at the local CC and had a 4.0. They worked with UNCC and they accepted her as a spring semester admit. (That basically means that they didn't have to include her stats in their reporting of test score avgs.) She took classes at another college fall semester and all credits transferred in and she is doing great at UNCC.

 

Anyway, that is just to say that you should have no fear about him not being accepted. They seem to be very willing to work with students.

[DawnM]

I am glad y'all brought this up because, to be completely honest, I wasn't aware of this fact.  I wasn't talking about out of state people in my comment. I was talking about in state people who are just trying to cut that 70,000 down to 35,000 so they have a good deal when public schools here max out at around 23,000 a year.  We can commute to UNCC for around 6,000 or less per year.  I assumed all state schools were about like these options.

 

When people tell me their kid got scholarships to private schools to make them cost the same as a state school, I assume they mean the $23,000 or so it costs for tuition, fees, and room and board.  That means college is roughly $100K for 4 years.  We don't have $100K per kid.  We just don't.  Middle son drives and we have a car he can use.  We are already paying for insurance, so that won't be an additional cost.  If he goes to UNCC he might also take the train in, which would be about $40/mo I think with the student discount.  That would really be the best option as UNCC has horrible parking from what I am hearing.

 

BUT, even if there is no aid, the cost is under $10K per year, including transportation, food, tuition, and fees.....

 

Right now oldest is going to community college.  We are paying roughly $3,000/year for that, including fees and books.    He was dual enrollment last year, which cost us about $700/year as we didn't pay the tuition, only the fees.   I tried to get son #2 to do it, but he loves his high school and wants to finish there.  I get it.  

[DawnM]

Dawn, I have a niece who is a jr at UNCC. She had really abysmal test scores. (And I do mean way below national avg.) She had been DEing at the local CC and had a 4.0. They worked with UNCC and they accepted her as a spring semester admit. (That basically means that they didn't have to include her stats in their reporting of test score avgs.) She took classes at another college fall semester and all credits transferred in and she is doing great at UNCC.

 

Anyway, that is just to say that you should have no fear about him not being accepted. They seem to be very willing to work with students.

 

 

Very good information!  Thank you.

[goldberry]

 

Another option to consider is if your state has a community college to college program.  Attend CC for two years and they will tailor your courses to meeting the requirements of state schools after which you transfer.  The transfer program already mandates which courses the state school must accept for full credit.  

 

Our state has this and it's been great for quite a few kids.  When you start the CC you are also assigned a transfer counselor at the Uni, who you check in with each year to make sure you are on track to transfer.  Very nice program and pretty affordable!

[hopskipjump]

First - I love this thread. We're in a similar boat. DD1 was a test-taking goddess. She excels at challenging classes and she was involved in eleventy-billion extra-curriculars and had dozens of people fighting to write letters of recommendation for her.

 

DD2? Those stupid tests may be the be-all, end-all for her regarding big scholarship dollars. She can barely keep her attention on ten questions at a time before sort of deflating and melting down. (Now, granted - those 10 questions will likely be CORRECT... but they take a LOT of energy out of her)

 

Now, which of those dds is more self-sufficient, more productive? Which do I predict great, great things from? That'd be DD2. lol Test scores be damned. :p

 

We are looking at some schools with leadership scholarships. Usually those are listed differently from the purely academic-driven, test-score-driven scholarships. Some universities have full-rides and lesser scholarships listed beneath the "leadership" banner. Others have community service scholarships.

 

DD2 will also have an army to write letters on her behalf. I'm ensuring that she's in more outsourced classes than DD1 (so she can have "teachers" available for letters of recommendation).

 

She is tentatively planning to be a music major, so right now - her focus is 100% on her instrument because that's #1 place for her to earn scholarship dollars. #2 is with the leadership scholarship possibilities. She's also planning to work through college, very part-time, at least. DD1 "works" for her tuition via her NCAA sport, so DD2 figures she can work approximately the same hours as DD1 and earn her own money that way. She's very practical about it. (With the understanding that if she DOES become a music major, working that many hours probably will not be even close to possible. So she's practical about that as well... lol)

 

We start test-prep over the summer. She's far enough along in math now (she'll be taking Pre-Calc next year) and she's more confident than she was this time last year, so... I am hopeful. She just panics when it's time for a big test and doesn't handle that kind of pressure well.

 

(Now performing on stage? She's cool as a cucumber. Bossing dozens of older people around? No problem. Mention ACT or SAT prep? She turns green and all the life is sucked out of her. *sigh*)

 

 

 

Yes, affordable has a very wide ranged definition.  I am not even sure the counselor at DS's school would be much help in this area because her students are normally so wealthy, her job is just to get them into a good school, money isn't really much of an issue.  

For many, a schools that costs $60,000 a year and great scholarship of 30,000 a year and now that school is affordable.  That isn't affordable for us.  We really need to get down to the $10,000 or less range.  We could probably go to a total cost of up to 15,000-18,000 if DS was working and taking out the 5500 loan per year.  

 

THIS was what caused a lot of tension between dds high school coach and I last year when dd was going through the recruiting process. Several schools were interested in dd, and I reiterated to her coach about her primary concern (among schools she liked well enough, of course) was scholarship dollars. He enthusiastically gave me stats for previous athletes who'd gotten large scholarships. I went home and plugged those numbers into the financial calculators and realized that the parents were still footing $25K++ out of pocket! Uh, NO! To US, that was certainly not "affordable" by any means. He was frustrated at dd because she turned down a prestigious university that had offered her an "enormous" scholarship - but it was still too much for us to pocket (can't combine financial aid with athletic scholarship). I had to go back to his office and have another chat with him to back off dd with his giant attitude about it. Geez!! I generously offered that HE could pay the difference if he was so very concerned. :glare:

 

Edited May 4, 2017 by hopskipjump

[8filltheheart]

We are looking at some schools with leadership scholarships. Usually those are listed differently from the purely academic-driven, test-score-driven scholarships. Some universities have full-rides and lesser scholarships listed beneath the "leadership" banner. Others have community service scholarships.

p). ]

If schools have profiles posted of those students who have been awarded the leadership and community service scholarships, I would spend time reading them. Typically, I have found that those kids have higher academic profiles than avg, not lower.

[hopskipjump]

If schools have profiles posted of those students who have been awarded the leadership and community service scholarships, I would spend time reading them. Typically, I have found that those kids have higher academic profiles than avg, not lower.

Luckily, we actually know a few kids who have already earned these scholarships from the 2 local universities dd is considering. Their stats are strong/solid, but nothing dd can't reach. These aren't competitive universities, but they have excellent programs in the two main areas of study that did is considering (the music dept is competitive... but not the university-as-a-whole).

 

At the larger, state uni, we also know a student who received the leadership scholarship - and she was like you described. 34 ACT, loads of other stuff. DD1 wasn't even offered that scholarship at that university, even though she ticked all the boxes & more. DD2 isn't even bothering to apply there due to their lack of scholarship offerings.

[Momto6inIN]

I don't really know the difference. It isn't my realm. I think he needs to figure out which one he wants. He enjoys IT work. So he shouldn't be a computer science major?

My DS went to a college fair at Purdue and they explained the differences between computer science and computer engineering and computer technology pretty well. The computer science degree is more of a pure science degree for people who love math and programming and the theory behind computers (not very hands on) . Computer engineering is more for people who like the problem solving software design and hardware development (somewhat hands on) . And computer technology is more for people who enjoy working with how computers are applied in a business or manufacturing setting (very hands on). This was super helpful to me as a non-computer person who thought it was all the same thing! Lol

 

 

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