8th grade stuff... colleges and careers... is this crazy?

[Momto6inIN]

can I give a shout out to deep thinkers in *just* blue collar jobs. Sometimes, having a physical job that doesn't require a lot of brain power can allow the worker more thinking space. It can be a very satisfying way to live.

 

as you were...

I very much agree, we definitely don't value physical jobs enough. I know a lot of farmers and mechanics and truck drivers that know more than I do about any number of deep issues and are very satisfied in their jobs. I apologize if my post didn't reflect that!

 

I was just trying (clumsily, apparently) to say that I was glad my DS came to realize on his own through these aptitude tests without my discouragement that *he in particular* wasn't well suited for a physical job without a lot of intellectual stimulation involved, not saying that holding a blue collar job precludes deep thinking. Hope that's more clear! ☺

 

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[LMD]

I very much agree, we definitely don't value physical jobs enough. I know a lot of farmers and mechanics and truck drivers that know more than I do about any number of deep issues and are very satisfied in their jobs. I apologize if my post didn't reflect that!

 

I was just trying (clumsily, apparently) to say that I was glad my DS came to realize on his own through these aptitude tests without my discouragement that *he in particular* wasn't well suited for a physical job without a lot of intellectual stimulation involved, not saying that holding a blue collar job precludes deep thinking. Hope that's more clear! ☺

 

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Oh, I wasn't offended or anything, I do agree that it's great that your son has been thinking about what would help make his life fulfilling!

I don't think there's one path to a good life at all, I just know that it's easy to get caught up in achievement and higher ranking jobs as a measure of success, which leads to an awkward rank of 'lesser' jobs and strange disappointment.

My mother in law once asked me why I was bothering to teach latin or history, because dd 'just' wanted to be a hairdresser... I said that she can be a hairdresser that knows Latin and advises heads of state while blow drying 😉

I am guarding against disappointment in myself more than anything, after pouring so much of my life into their educations. That's some personal baggage coming through there too ðŸ˜

[Momto6inIN]

Oh, I wasn't offended or anything, I do agree that it's great that your son has been thinking about what would help make his life fulfilling!

I don't think there's one path to a good life at all, I just know that it's easy to get caught up in achievement and higher ranking jobs as a measure of success, which leads to an awkward rank of 'lesser' jobs and strange disappointment.

My mother in law once asked me why I was bothering to teach latin or history, because dd 'just' wanted to be a hairdresser... I said that she can be a hairdresser that knows Latin and advises heads of state while blow drying 😉

I am guarding against disappointment in myself more than anything, after pouring so much of my life into their educations. That's some personal baggage coming through there too ðŸ˜

I am working through this too with my DD who says she "just" wants to be a mom so why does she need algebra and trig and rhetoric and physics. I smile and say so she can argue effectively with her future homeschooled daughter. 😂 And also if this is the last formal education she receives it's doubly important that we make it good.

 

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[Farrar]

Reading the Amazon look insides for some of the books on the thread about best books for educating the upper grades...

 

What High Schools Don't Tell You has this quote..

 

 

Checking out colleges early makes the college visit experience more enjoyable (and less anxiety producing). It is much easier and more inspiring to make the first exploratory visit in the summer after eighth or ninth grade.

 

She thinks kids are more likely to be engaged and less likely to be self-conscious about hanging out with parents. And that the visits are valuable for making goals.

 

I don't know... it's definitely a high pressure sort of book. But also, I look at my kids and... they're never going to be the obvious academic superstars who can waltz into college. I think average students can get into decent colleges (we'll never be aiming Ivies here) but they have an edge when you play the game. And also, setting goals helps avoid making a four year mistake.

 

ITA about the technical jobs... but you need degrees for those too. Like, my brother is finishing up getting his electrician's license. It required him to do a college degree as part of his apprenticeship.

[Arcadia]

What High Schools Don't Tell You has this quote..

 

She thinks kids are more likely to be engaged and less likely to be self-conscious about hanging out with parents. And that the visits are valuable for making goals.

My kids don't have a problem with grabbing a table for four and us parents buying the food and drinks for them at college food courts here in the states and also in Canada.

 

We walk into universities libraries together and check out the shelves, and my kids haven't reach the age to feel awkward about being "chaperoned" by me. Mine are also less embarrassed right now about asking dumb questions at the visitor center/student services center within our hearing range.

 

I read the college book at the same time as the high school book a few years ago as my library has both.

What Colleges Don't Tell You (And Other Parents Don't Want You to Know): 272 Secrets for Getting Your Kid into the Top Schools https://www.amazon.com/What-Colleges-Dont-Other-Parents/dp/0452288541

[Farrar]

I think what I want is to somehow be more relaxed by thinking about this stuff long term. Like, there's an association that thinking about college and so forth way ahead of time means being more stressed and more competitive (in a negative way). But if there was a way to stretch out thinking to be more relaxed by being more long term so it doesn't all happen in a frenzy... I feel like that would be better for my kids. Sigh.

[8filltheheart]

I think what I want is to somehow be more relaxed by thinking about this stuff long term. Like, there's an association that thinking about college and so forth way ahead of time means being more stressed and more competitive (in a negative way). But if there was a way to stretch out thinking to be more relaxed by being more long term so it doesn't all happen in a frenzy... I feel like that would be better for my kids. Sigh.

It doesn't have to be a frenzy. If you let your kids develop into who they are and just live with the outcomes. Then they simply apply to schools that match who they have become.

 

That is really all we do. Sr can become a frenzy bc there is so much to do. If they are invited to a bunch of interview weekends, there really isn't much you can do to reduce the amt of time it takes unless they just don't go (Dd did opt not to go to 3 scholarship weekends bc she liked her other options better. But w/o applying, she didn't know where she would be invited. Applications take quite a bit of time.)

[Lori D.]

It doesn't have to be a frenzy. If you let your kids develop into who they are and just live with the outcomes. Then they simply apply to schools that match who they have become.

 

Agreeing. And I'll just add -- that might not all fall into place by the end of high school. Some students are not going to finish developing and "becoming" until they are in their 20s. They are going to follow a non-traditional path.

 

What 8FillTheHeart is saying is what we did as well. Neither DS knew what he wanted to do all through high school. The bits of career exploration we did was more for fun and exposure -- "Hey, look at that, that's kind of interesting!" -- NOT EVER was it a push about college.

 

DSs still didn't know what they wanted to do in the senior year, so we took the pressure off of having to "know" or "decide" by graduation, and they started at the community college (which also drastically reduced the *financial* pressure). That way they were still moving forward in a general ed. way, while they had more time to think it through.

 

Other students work, or travel, or volunteer after high school. A LOT of homeschoolers in our area do NOT go straight on to a 4-year university and a degree right after graduation. Some don't ever end up going to a university -- they make their path through entrepreneurship or work their way up into a business; I know several young adults around 30yo who have done that very successfully. I also know others who finally find their "calling" in their mid-20s, and head to college at that time because now they know what they want to do and that it requires a degree. I also know quite a few young people who went to a university right after high school, and after 1-2 years dropped out for a wide variety of reasons, and who have gone on to do other things that did not require a 4-year degree. 

 

Our DSs' paths so far: One DS went on to get an AAS in Digital Film/Video Production and then transferred and got a BA in a Humanities-based field. Now, at 25yo, he *just* is figuring out what he *really* wants to do, which is Mechanical Engineering. So, he's heading back to college for another 4 years for a BS.

 

The other DS went to the CC for 2 years of the 3-year AAS he chose to pursue, then realized he did NOT want to work in that field. So he left school entirely and worked for a year and a half. Then last year, he did a 9-month commitment last year with AmeriCorp, specifically with a trail restoration and conservation project partner. He loved it and is now side-stepping into wildland firefighting, a position he starts in 2 weeks. He already also has a long-range vision, as he realizes that someday he will perhaps need to get a degree in Forestry or Land Management and move into a related field, because he understands that this particular job he's about to do is a "young man's job" and has a short and limited lifespan to it due to the extreme physical nature of the work.

 

DSs are 23yo and 25yo and *just now* starting to have an idea of what they want to do as a career. It would have done absolutely no good (and it would have stressed our relationship with them :( ) if we had tried putting pressure on them in high school (or middle school!!) about careers and colleges. Yes, we explored occupations a little bit throughout the teen years, but in fun ways and out of interest. Yes, we dabbled a bit with casual interest inventory testing to help them think about their personal interests/strengths. Yes, we kept our high school credits "college prep" to keep that door open. But no, nothing specifically "clicked" for them at that time, and no, we didn't stress and sweat it.

 

Flowers bloom in their own unique timing and trying to peel back the petals to force early blooming doesn't work. Pretty much the same with teens who are maturing into adulthood -- they are each on their own timetable for getting the career/college future thing figured out. You may have students who need to spend some years after high school doing all kinds of things and having all kinds of experiences before they eventually start to settle on something. There is no shame or harm in that. It is part of your students growing into who they are.

 

BEST of luck in the homeschooling journey, whatever path that takes! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited May 2, 2017 by Lori D.

[Momto6inIN]

I think what I want is to somehow be more relaxed by thinking about this stuff long term. Like, there's an association that thinking about college and so forth way ahead of time means being more stressed and more competitive (in a negative way). But if there was a way to stretch out thinking to be more relaxed by being more long term so it doesn't all happen in a frenzy... I feel like that would be better for my kids. Sigh.

 

Well, at this precise moment in time I am kind of stressed about it ... but that's because I've actually been composing and uploading all the homeschool stuff for the Common App for the 1st time for oldest DS these past few weeks. So currently my head feels like it's going to explode from all the stuff going on inside it  :lol:  but that's not my normal state of being.

 

My wine and chocolate consumption the past few weeks aside :blushing:  ... in general I feel that thinking about it and planning for it and discussing it over the past several years has made me more confident in my choices for their high school and in their participation in said choices and less stressed about it.

[Farrar]

If I don't think ahead with them to some extent, I'm almost positive it will be a frenzy for us, especially with ds's anxiety. If they don't go to college, I'm actually fine with that. Or with any number of things. But I think if I don't do some level of exploration it won't happen at all. If y'all could see our homeschool... we're so slow and chill. 

[LMD]

I remember listening to a podcast by Andrew Pudewa, where he talked briefly about one of his daughters. She had a very tough time at high school age and ended up at a 'boot camp' for a while and totally interest led when she got back. He drew up a transcript around what she had spent time doing those years and it was fine.

I'll see if I can find it. I found it quite encouraging...

[J-rap]

We didn't really push college at all, although we did work with their interests and challenge them to dig deeper into them and develop related skills.  But no, we didn't discuss college in 8th grade or even much in high school.  We did make sure they had the classes they needed in case they chose to go on to college, which all of them except one did eventually (though none of them directly after high school).  We didn't do college tours either.  They are all very self-motivated with big goals.  

[Lilaclady]

I think going to college campuses in middle school or high school is a good idea. I have a homeschool friend with kids that have graduated mention that she didn't think of doing it with her older kids and she is not sure if that impacted them in not going to college later.

I think going if the schools are nearby and just exploring opens their minds to looking at things in a new way. It can be a field trip.

[Library Momma]

Kids here start thinking about careers in middle school because there are so many specialized high schools and programs they can attend starting in 9th grade.  Kids interested in something like pluming, electrical, cosmetology or culinary would attend one of the traditional vocational high schools.  Students interested in agri-science or veterinary would attend a vo-ag school or  ocean sciences the maritime high school.  Students interested in music can attend a program in high school that is part time at the ps and part-time at the performance magnet school.  Even at the public school, there are specialized engineering and language programs that must be applied for and started in 9th grade.  There is no way to transfer in later on.  These programs are a wonderful way to help students who know their path reach their goal.  Students who are unsure about their future can continue with the traditional paths of ps, private school or homeschool and make those decisions later on.