Did you put your littles in school for a year?

[BooksandBoys]

I put my 5 year old in all day public K (only option here) and my 3 year-old in a preschool/daycare combo so that he was there for the same hours as my Ker. I was very burnt out/bordering on depression and needed to recover; the third grader is not a good fit for public school.

 

I spend 2 hours a day minimum driving for pick-up/drop-off. I do not volunteer (I'm busy homeschooling), but I still end up hiring a sitter for my older at least once a month so I can attend a school event/party during the school hours. Homework, though minimal, is hard because our nights are so short. Kids have to be in bed by 7 in order to get enough sleep. I, honestly, chafe under the restricted schedule too.

 

Preschool ended up not working out, so my three year old is home again. This has made it immensely apparent that it was so helpful to have the younger two gone during the week this year. Even with so much driving, I could focus on homeschool and accomplish many other things when it was just me and the older child at home for those 6 hours a day. We did achieve the goal to recover from burn out/stave off depression. I'm (mostly) ready for them to all be home next year. My Ker is adamant that he is never going back to PS. :-). We'll see.

[mamakelly]

I think you are going to be doing a ton of drop offs and pick ups, and it will take more time than you think. I'd put the two elementary age kiddos in school and hire a babysitter for your preschoolers.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I only have 2, but they are in PS 3rd and 3 day a week preschool this year. I spend about an hour a day driving on days DD4 has school. While I think in theory your plan sounds good, I would want to add up the time cost first. Are they all going to be in the same school building? Start around the same time? How close is the school(s)? You could end up spending more time driving than you gain without littles underfoot. If it's *just* for the benefit of the littles and you don't want to gain extra time with the big kids, then it could work. If you're hoping to accomplish both something for them AND time for you, it might not. 

 

Unless you have an older child around that will be doing all the chauffeuring, in which case go for it!

 

ETA: And that's not to mention the times I don't actually go home because DD4's class is doing something I need to be present for. Or I have to go to DD8's school for something. Field trips. Parent-teacher meetings. Adhering to their schedule. Early out days which throw off pick-up schedules, especially if you have a prek or k in afternoon class. Honestly, I am just as burnt out this year with them in school as I was at this time last year homeschooling a kid with special needs that I was still struggling to adapt to and a preschooler. 

Edited April 20, 2017 by Whovian10

[rebbyribs]

I know you've mentioned that you have some dyslexic kids. Any idea if the 6yo and 7yo are? Do you know how your school district teaches reading? My oldest went to preschool, kindergarten and 1st grade. Kindergarten was great, and they just worked on getting "ready to read" rather than reading. But in 1st grade reading was taught  with a "whole language" approach, meaning that there was a lot of sight words and guessing based on the pictures was encouraged. By the time I realized what was going on, my daughter couldn't read, hated trying, and did a lot of guessing to try to hide what was going on. Undoing that was hard work! If you suspect either of your elementary-age kids is dyslexic, it might not be worth putting them in school unless the school is willing to give them the type of reading instruction they need.

 

My bigger kids (10, 7, and 7) are doing a 1 day per week, full-day nature program where my husband is able to drop them off and I pick them up.  My 5yo goes to a similar once a week half-day program on a different day.  It's not a huge help, honestly, but it does make those days a little easier.

[Lecka]

I have not had this situation, but have had my kids with awkward schedules.

 

Something I have done is instead of trying to go home, go to the library. One son's pre-school was near the library, and instead of trying to go back and forth to home, we just got ready and spent time at the library doing reading-type stuff.

 

If there would be any benefit to having everybody up, ready, and able to work at the library, or just have a nice time at the library if that would be productive, and the locations worked out, it could potentially be both productive and cut down on the back-and-forth driving.

 

Also -- if your little kids are more stimulated at pre-school, maybe they will be quieter the rest of the day or more ready to be a little more independent? Or maybe you will be able to carve out time for them instead of having to kind-of put them off?

 

If this is not likely then I think the driving time can eat up so much time.

 

If your kids will be clingy when you pick them up and want to have some little special time with you, and it just doesn't fit the schedule, I think that could also be a big negative. I definitely have times when I have to set aside time right after pick-up because my kids need it. That is hard if you have to drive elsewhere or get ready elsewhere, because of the schedule.

 

I plan around that and for a year had a schedule where I had a 30 minute gap and really spent 30 minutes of very high quality time with my daughter, and then went and picked up my son and really focused on him, but it was fine with my daughter at that point.

[Starr]

We started homeschooling when my eldest was in second grade. I think in your situation you will need to be careful not to be super school mom. There's a certain amount of things that parents are encouraged to do for the schools but not mandatory. Only pick what you can manage. 

[Zinnia]

I sent my oldest child to kindy the year that I had a 4, 2, and newborn at home.  He was really difficult to manage behavior wise at that point (lots of meltdowns/tantrums), and kindergarten was a nice break for me.  It helped him learn how to behave better (I know that that sounds backwards...he learned how to behave by being around other kids, but it really did work).

 

My second son went to kindergarten because we had had a good experience.  It was detrimental to him, because of dyslexia.  He finished the year thinking of himself as stupid and not as good/smart as the other kids.  It has been a hard experience to recover from for him.  

 

BUT.  Different kids and all that.  I am thinking of sending #4 to preschool 2 mornings a week next year so I can concentrate on teaching #2 and #3 with Barton.  

[fairfarmhand]

Can your older kids or husband do the drop off or pick up? That'd be the only way that I could make it work. I couldn't leave the house twice a day for that. Just would be so disruptive!

 

 

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[busymama7]

Can your older kids or husband do the drop off or pick up? That'd be the only way that I could make it work. I couldn't leave the house twice a day for that. Just would be so disruptive!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think it would actually be at least 3x a day since 2 would be pre K and 2 would be full day?

[GoodGrief]

I do have my youngest in school, but I'll echo what others have said, the pick ups, drop offs, and the special expectations (theme days, field trips, keeping up with homework, etc) are going to be killer with four at two different schools.

[OneStepAtATime]

I think it would actually be at least 3x a day since 2 would be pre K and 2 would be full day?

Yep that is how I am reading it too. Even if all the kids are at the same school and the two younger ones start at the same time as the two older ones there would be the trip to drop them all off, the trip to pick up the littles and the trip to pick up the older ones. Three trips to the school and back at least 4 days a week is how I'm understanding this.

Edited April 20, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Barb_]

I agree with those who say preschool for the littles. The 8 and 10 could ride out a year doing math, reading for a couple of hours a day, listening to story of the world audio, and maybe some workbook style vocabulary, spelling, and/or grammar. That just leaves the middle schoolers. If you feel like you could manage those two most days, I think that might be a better plan. Take it from this mama who just pulled her kids from the school experiement after six months. It was a boatload of stress. You have friend drama, teacher worries, emails, donation requests, driving, packing lunches, trying to fit in hygiene and sleep, special events, homework, homework, homework...

 

It's a lot to take on even with a couple of kids and having your health. Major lifestyle overhauls are TOUGH. Hugs to you. I think of you often.

[Barb_]

I get the feeling email/teacher blogs have really ramped up the pressure on parents. I remember when my oldest daughter was in kinder and first grade, I dropped her off, picked her up, and almost never saw or heard from her teacher. She got homework she was expected to do without my input. I remember my own school days similarly.

 

When my son was in school we'd get emails when there had been too much general tardiness, when there was something written on the bathroom wall, when it was a teacher's birthday and we were expected to contribute, when they needed more Kleenex for the classroom, when they were having competitive games during after lunch recess...it's completely over the top. Parents are expected to be on top of it all.

[DawnM]

With one in school 2 days for a 3 hours and the other in 2 days for 4 hours, and the other two in full day programs, that will be a lot of running around for you.  I am not sure that will free up anything.

 

When my middle went to school and I had to drive him, there was so much running around that it was far busier than just homeschooling.

[Katy]

I would absolutely put the littles in school.

 

I would even go a step further and include more self-teaching stuff or even online classes for middle school.

 

And yes, I've been known to put littles into preschool.  Partially this is due to fostering - some judges really want kids in preschool because that way there's at least another couple sets of eyes on them that are mandatory reporters.  And partially it's because sometimes preschool really does socialize little kids to just follow directions. Kids who have previously had little obedience required of them.  I realize there is good and bad to that socialization, but we do the best we can and sometimes learning that it's not normal to not do what you're told most of the time.

 

The only thing I would be aware of is that you might want to have a conversation about TeA with the kids (in an age-appropriate way), about the right to be in control of their own bodies, and also about not looking at "bad pictures" before you put them in school.  Because I've heard some jaw-dropping stories recently about kindergarteners being exposed to things they shouldn't have by their older siblings and the same kids sharing those things in schools, sometimes in borderline abusive ways. It's not the same as when we were ten or twelve and the kid down the block found his dad's stash of magazines in the garage and shared them with every other kid in the neighborhood.

[Barb_]

With one in school 2 days for a 3 hours and the other in 2 days for 4 hours, and the other two in full day programs, that will be a lot of running around for you. I am not sure that will free up anything.

 

When my middle went to school and I had to drive him, there was so much running around that it was far busier than just homeschooling.

Yeah, after our fire I needed to free up the days for hands on work and paperwork for a few months, which, school did. But as someone said up top, school just relocated the busyness. I was busy for more hours of the day--from very early until bedtime--and my schedule wasn't my own. I came to the conclusion that there is no real way out of the work that comes with educating kids. It's all hard. Kids are just a ton of work, period. And when you're used to juggling it all with skill and that comes crashing down around you during a period of traumatic upheaval, well, it's a shock to the system.

[maize]

My kindergarten son doesn't do homework. We tried at the beginning of the year, but I was never on top of it and he isn't up to taking the responsibility himself. At some point we just started ignoring it and the teacher has never said anything to me.

[Hilltopmom]

Does your district have busses?

 

Ours does, so there is no driving elementary kids for pick up & drop off, just for preschool.

Kids get on & off the bus outside their front door.

[lauraw4321]

One more thing - echoing someone else's comment. Consider going somewhere other than home after preschool drop off. Library or YMCA. Focused time on school and less driving if possible.

[BooksandBoys]

Does your district have busses?

 

Ours does, so there is no driving elementary kids for pick up & drop off, just for preschool.

Kids get on & off the bus outside their front door.

Certainly using the bus would change the conversation. Do it if you can (and then hire that babysitter for the two preschoolers instead of paying two preschool tuitions so you aren't driving them either). In our district, my son would ride the bus an hour each direction. I can't do that to him, but perhaps your area is better!

[MinivanMom]

Yeah, after our fire I needed to free up the days for hands on work and paperwork for a few months, which, school did. But as someone said up top, school just relocated the busyness. I was busy for more hours of the day--from very early until bedtime--and my schedule wasn't my own. I came to the conclusion that there is no real way out of the work that comes with educating kids. It's all hard. Kids are just a ton of work, period. And when you're used to juggling it all with skill and that comes crashing down around you during a period of traumatic upheaval, well, it's a shock to the system.

 

This. Having gone through a number of traumatic life events while raising children, it is hard. Whether they are little ones, big ones, in public school, or homeschooled, it is just hard. 

 

Do whatever you need to do to get through the coming year. If focusing on the big kids while the little ones are in school works, then that's what you should do. If you have a support community - and I'm sure you do - I would garner that support to help with driving for the coming year. Carpools are your friend.

Edited April 20, 2017 by MinivanMom

[Meadowlark]

Last year I sent my then 3 yr. old to preschool M-W-F from 8-11:15, and my 4 yr. old to preK 5 days a week (free) during the same time.

 

Pros: I did have more intense teaching time with the older kids. However, and this is HUGE, I felt it turned into a "get er done" kind of year instead of the fun, creative way I'd like to homeschool. There were NO bunny trails, no deep conversations...just get it done because we have to load up the van with 5 kids in 15 minutes to go pick up your siblings. So yes, we got things done, but it was boring and mundane.

 

Cons: I guess see above for cons, but also-the driving. You have olders so maybe this wouldn't be a problem, but I had to load up 5 kids twice a day and for a homeschooler that doesn't like to be rushed (I turn into she-devil pretty much) this was painful. 

 

It's a give or take I think-You do get some advantages, but there are disadvantages too. I'd personally have a harder time putting a 1st grader in school and then taking them out too. Do you think they would mind? 

[vonfirmath]

Yep that is how I am reading it too. Even if all the kids are at the same school and the two younger ones start at the same time as the two older ones there would be the trip to drop them all off, the trip to pick up the littles and the trip to pick up the older ones. Three trips to the school and back at least 4 days a week is how I'm understanding this.

 

IF the older kids can ride the bus, then it will only be trips for the preschool kids most days.

 

 

I get the feeling email/teacher blogs have really ramped up the pressure on parents. I remember when my oldest daughter was in kinder and first grade, I dropped her off, picked her up, and almost never saw or heard from her teacher. She got homework she was expected to do without my input. I remember my own school days similarly.

 

When my son was in school we'd get emails when there had been too much general tardiness, when there was something written on the bathroom wall, when it was a teacher's birthday and we were expected to contribute, when they needed more Kleenex for the classroom, when they were having competitive games during after lunch recess...it's completely over the top. Parents are expected to be on top of it all.

 

I *love* the teacher/Principal emails that keep me on top of what is going on in the school.

 

General tardiness? Delete. My kids are not late.

SOmething written on the bathroom wall? Make sure my kids are aware this is NOT okay and delete.

Never got a teacher's birthday email. I would have contributed if given more than a day's notice.

Needed more supplies. again, add it to the list. No problem.

Competitive games? Not sure what you mean about this.

 

We do some of the fundraising. Say No to others and don't do it. Just because it is sent home does not mean it has to happen. If it does not fit our schedule, we don't do it.

But then our school is very reasonable (so far) in their expectations. -no- required homework in K. They are expected to read every night but everything else sent home (And that not very often) are fun extras. Most do get done with this child because she wants to. But not all. And with my son, there were no consequences for not doing the projects he did not want to do.

 

In 1st grade, there was a packet sent home on Monday that was due Friday. And a spelling test on Friday to make sure we studied for. Neither took excessively long, though there were the busy weeks I wish we could have worked on the packet ove rthe weekend when we had more time than after work during the week.

 

Edited April 20, 2017 by vonfirmath

[Barb_]

Yeah, I get that this isn't a big deal for a lot of people. It's the new normal. But for a mom of many who is hoping school will a pressure release valve, this discovery was jarring and unwelcome. It was as hard for me to adjust to the surprise demands of school as it is for other people to pull out their kids and begin homeschooling midstream.

[Meadowlark]

Yeah, after our fire I needed to free up the days for hands on work and paperwork for a few months, which, school did. But as someone said up top, school just relocated the busyness. I was busy for more hours of the day--from very early until bedtime--and my schedule wasn't my own. I came to the conclusion that there is no real way out of the work that comes with educating kids. It's all hard. Kids are just a ton of work, period. And when you're used to juggling it all with skill and that comes crashing down around you during a period of traumatic upheaval, well, it's a shock to the system.

 

As someone who is thinking ps is this *pie in the sky* thing, thank you for this reality check. I needed to hear it as we make the most important decision in the next few months. Most days, I'm sick with indecision. Boo

 

ETA: My kids go to school 1 day a week in the morning, and their spring concert is coming up. They just told me that all 5 need to dress like their grandparents for the concert. Um, HUH? How am I supposed to pull that off? Major stress as I think about what I can possibly find to make them look old. So, I get the extra stress that you're talking about. I just want to live in my own little world. Not do fundraisers, not contribute to teacher potlucks, etc.

Edited April 21, 2017 by Meadowlark

[mommyoffive]

Yeah, I get that this isn't a big deal for a lot of people. It's the new normal. But for a mom of many who is hoping school will a pressure release valve, this discovery was jarring and unwelcome. It was as hard for me to adjust to the surprise demands of school as it is for other people to pull out their kids and begin homeschooling midstream.

 

I agree with you.   I don't have a kid in school and haven't.  But just talking to other moms they have complained how much work that their 4K kids are coming home with.

 

And how much driving they have to do to have their 4k kid in school.   Some that are just on the outskirts of town are driving 2 hours plus a day.   But if they kids are on the bus than they have at least a 3 hour trip and have to get up by 5am .

It just doesn't sound like it would help to put that age in.  

 

Now full day, another story. 

[PeterPan]

Sorry to zoom to the end here, but like the others I'm just thinking it would be better to have the littles in one place with one dropoff. Our Y has a lovely preschool program. 

[SonshineLearner]

That sounds like a plan!  Of course, because of reading... you'll probably want to practice up on the phonograms if you stick them in... and... running them to different locations... kinda hard... I have NO idea how much preschool is... I think it's a great idea~ Would it be easier on you to have a sitter for a few hours for both of them? I'd just try to have as few differences between schedules... as possible! :)  Hugs and lots of love... There are seasons... and it's fine to do what's best for your family! (and you!  because THAT is what's best for your family! :))