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Did you put your littles in school for a year?


BlsdMama
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Exactly that.

 

We live in a truly great school district that is fairly small.  This summer is going to be spent fighting off what we hope is Lyme and then we are going to hit Fall.  I am going to be honest in that I do not feel my middle kids are getting what they need.  We do a great job of keeping up on the high schoolers and they take some outside classes as well.  However, DD13 could be further than she is.  She is planning vet med and is extremely academically gifted and I should be spending more time guiding her.  DS 12 has serious learning issues and needs more direct mama teaching.  DD10 & DD8 are doing great but I need more sit at the table time with them as well.

 

 

We are thinking about ONE year of school for our youngest four.  

 

3 year old preschool - twice a week, three hours each day.  

4 year old preschool - three hours a day, four days a week.

Kindergarten for our 6yo

1st grade for our 7yo.

 

This is more about them getting "fun" time.  I did SO much singing, reading, art, etc., with my littles and currently it is NOT happening.  My three year old is, well, lovingly, a tyrant.  

 

We are operating between:


"Wow!  So much school done today." (And completely ignored the little kids.)
or

"Wow! We had so much fun today!" (And completely ignored teaching.)



Because I know I am going to get helpful hints, this is NOT what I am asking for.  After 17 years and graduating two kids from K through 12, I swear I know EVERY trick in the book.  Unfortunately they all hinge on me feeling good, being organized, and having more energy than I have.  If I do NOTHING (no cleaning, no laundry, no cooking, no dishes) except work with each older kid for 30 minutes on math/science and 30 minutes on reading/remediation/language arts and just a half hour with the 5yo and 7yo, then that is six hours of my teaching day straight.  Two preschoolers cannot be ignored for six hours.  Nor can they sit at a table for six hours.  Nor am I willing this year.

 

I just want to hear the pros and cons of your experience of a single year in the school system if that makes sense, but NOT how to make it work.  It is not working at all for this season despite my experience and many bags 'o tricks.

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Personally, I think it is a great plan. I made liberal use of Mother's Day out programs and willing grandparents for a couple of years and it helped immensely. The youngest two still did not get what the oldest two did, but they got something different that was still good.

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The girls were in school for elementary. I can think of one serious con right now that applies to your situation: you've got to work with their schedule. If the school says that dismissal is at 3, you can't do things that take you away from home past that time. You have to be there.

 

You also have to handle homework. Depending on your area, this might be a breeze - ten minutes of storytime every night and done! - or it might be hellacious. You'd be surprised at how many "fun" assignments some schools give to first graders, all of which YOU end up having to have a big hand in!

 

However, given that you are sick and run-down, and given that you say this school is really great, I'd suggest you just go with it. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this already.

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BlsdMama, I'm considering sending my two youngest (K and 4th next year) to school next year. That would leave me with 2 middle school kids and 1 high school kid. I'd send everyone if we could afford Christian school for everyone. Maybe we could swing it for my 9th grader. I'll be listening in.

 

Eta: I'm thinking one year too.

Edited by ifIonlyhadabrain
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If I do NOTHING (no cleaning, no laundry, no cooking, no dishes) except work with each older kid for 30 minutes on math/science and 30 minutes on reading/remediation/language arts and just a half hour with the 5yo and 7yo, then that is six hours of my teaching day straight.  Two preschoolers cannot be ignored for six hours.  Nor can they sit at a table for six hours.  Nor am I willing this year.

 

Unfortunately, your 3 year old tyrant would only be in school for 6 hours a week.  In my experience, having them in school for those 6 hours actually "cost" more time than it saved.

 

Wendy

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It sounds like it could be good.

 

With you youngest who would go half days and not every day consider whether you'd be driving to and from school so much that you really wouldn't gain more time. They might tire out a bit at school and that could help. But you will spend a lot of time in drop off/pick up. The half days may interfere with scheduling fieldtrips and flexibility.

 

Just stuff to consider. It still might work.

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I put my 5 year old in our local free Universal Pre-K program this year and it has been really wonderful :).  It was only a half day program but those 2 1/2 hours of quiet time for my older to get some work done uninterrupted and for me to have a bit to time to get things done around the house or to do some grocery shopping was really, really nice.  It's been beneficial for the five year old as well..he's had the opportunity to engage with some other kids his age (he's very shy) and he's done lots of fun stuff...so.many. crafts.

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I am putting my youngest in preschool next year. I'm just not giving her enough attention during the day (and she lets me know by getting into all kinds of messes). I know she'll have fun and get to do things i don't have time for here, and I'll get to focus on teaching without her interruptions for a couple of days a week. I think it's fine if that's what works for your family. :)

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Yes, go for it.  We've gone back and forth between PS and homeschooling.  Honestly, both have their advantages and it will give you that break you need to focus on your health.  

 

Have you thought about putting your middle schoolers in as well?

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I think you should go for it.  But I would put both preschoolers in for half days 4-5 days per week.  IMO, it is actually easier on kids to go more often because they have a more predictable schedule.  And it will give *you* a more predictable schedule at home.

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I sent my boys to preschool for a year and it was great. They had a wonderful time and learned a lot. The only downside was driving them back and forth. They didn't stay in contact with any of the kids from preschool -- I've always wondered if they had continued on at the relatively small public school if they would have maintained those friendships. It was a well regarded private preschool and the teacher happened to have an opening due to a student moving.

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I think it sounds like a good solution. One of my friends and her husband actually always send their younger children to school for a couple of years and never regretted it. In hindsight I personally think it the time to send them because the goals of the public school probably match your own closer than they ever will again.

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We did.  We live in a very small community and I like the school district.  I know all the teachers at the elementary school, and many of them are my friends.  We sent our youngest to preschool two days/week (three hours at a time), and then to a combined K-2 class at the same school.  Our kids were always in class with a sibling, which was fun.  This worked out well for us.  Then beginning in third grade, they'd come home.  

 

That wasn't our planned strategy.  It just kind of evolved.

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IVe done it in the past with my current teens when they were younger & will do it this fall with my 3 yr old.

 

The only drawback I see from your plan is the 2 day a week short preschool time. By the time you do drop off & pick up, you'll barely have any time at home to make use of. Is there a different preschool option for your two littlest ones instead?- more like half day daycare but everyday?

 

Mine is signed up for 2.5 hours three days a week & I'm starting to lean towards daily instead. But, I plan to send her to K the year after instead of homeschool this time around.

 

I might also put the middle schoolers in for a year too.

 

Hope you start feeling better!

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All the programs available to my preschooler is either a mother's morning out or a half day. Both are only three hours long. The closest one to our house is 20 minutes away. Even if there was a park or library near the location where I could school the other kids at I'd lose so much time getting him there and getting going.

 

You might want to look into a mother's helper: someone who comes in and entertains the kiddos you aren't directly supervising while you work with the middles.

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I think it's a good plan for your next season.

 

However, be prepared for how you might deal with her desire to remain in an institutional setting after the year out. It's easy to pull a 1st grader back home. A student approaching high school, not so much. The taste of other opportunity has a stronger flavor at that point.

 

(Of course your dd may relish coming home - all kids are different. Just be ready to face the possible discussion.)

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We did preschool for our middle dd--2 mornings a week at age 3 and 3 mornings a week at age 4. It was definitely a win-win situation. She loved it, got all the preschool stuff (art, play time, stories, music, peers), and I got a few hours a week with just the baby at home. It was worth the short drive for drop-off and pick-up. And it was worth the cost of $100 per month--that later became our homeschool budget.

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I've done two different things: hired a mother's helper to come 3 days per week for 3-4 hours per time to give me time to work with olders while youngers played and sent youngest to preschool and then kindergarten. I got more accomplished with a mother's helper, for sure. 

 

You'll need to remember, transport takes time. If you can hire someone to transport your youngest two, that would take a load off, right there. I would even go so far as to try and find someone not only to transport, but perhaps keep your youngest for an extra 60-90 minutes each time. You just aren't going to have as much alone time with your older kids as you think you will if you are doing the transportation.

 

I think you are so wise for knowing what you have the time and energy for and which of your children need your attention. Schooling is not for the faint of heart and your littles will be perfectly fine for a year or two or three while you recover and school the olders.  Best of luck to you!

 

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Agreed that I would look at longer programs or a mother's helper as potentially more helpful to the goal of having more teaching time for the older kids.  

 

I'd also make sure that kinder and first grade actually do include 'fun time' in your district. This varies tremendously. 

 

Definitely, I would compare the cost of preschool for 2 to the cost of mother's helpers at home for 2 or 4. 

 

 

 

 

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Does the 3 year old's days overlap with the 4 year olds days so you have at least one day where you weren't doing the middle of the day run to pick up kids?

 

When I was overwhelmed, I hired a young lady to come and play with my preschooler one day a week (and preferably take him out of the house) just so I could have the mental energy to do something else.  

 

Would something like that work to do instead of or in addition to the preschool?  If the 3 year old is a challenging kiddo, 6 hours might not be enough of a break to allow you to heal and continue on with the olders.

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Yes, we did but DD always came home sick (ended up with horrible infection and lots of doctor's visits) and DS was miserable, but it did cure him of ever wanting to try PS again*.  Not that, that would be your experience but it can be a disaster, you just won't know until you try.  What's nice is that 1/2 way through you can say never mind and just keep them home (we made it to November that year).

 

With the short 3 hour for Pre-school, you won't get much done at home unless someone else is doing the driving back and forth?  I know that alone would wear me out.

 

 

* DS did say he wanted to go to PS a couple years ago when I first got sick.  I couldn't believe it, so we started making plans but come to find out he was just saying he wanted to go because he wanted to make life easier on me and thought him going to PS would help (he's such a good kid).  

Edited by foxbridgeacademy
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* DS did say he wanted to go to PS a couple years ago when I first got sick.  I couldn't believe it, so we started making plans but come to find out he was just saying he wanted to go because he wanted to make life easier on me and thought him going to PS would help (he's such a good kid).  

 

So sweet!

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I have not done that because school for littles around here is not about singing and playing. It is about seat work and testing and sadly, it is often about bullying.

 

When I lived in a neighborhood, I had preschool at my house 2 days a week. We read books, cooked did letter of the week projects, played dress up and blocks.

 

It was a very helpful service for mom's needing to have a tiny break or to spend time teaching older kids.

 

I feel like it is very good for kids to have safe adults out side of the family and outside activities that they can look forward to.

 

If you have good options, I would go for it. Sometimes I dream about starting another developmentally appropriate, play based school for parents who don't have the option to homeschool and don't want the pressure put on kids at our local private schools.

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Yes, we have done this in the early years.  This is how it worked for us:

 

DD3 Private Preschool 2.5h M-F afternoons, DD1 at home

DD4 Private Preschool 2.5h M-F afternoons, DD2 at home, DS0 at home

DD5 HS Kinder, DD3 private preschool 2.5h M-F afternoons, DS1 at home

DD6 HS1, DD4 private preschool 2.5h M-F afternoons, DS2 at home

DD7 PUBLIC SCHOOL 2nd grade, DD5 HS Kinder, DS3 at home (not preschool)

We did this because I felt that DD7 was not getting the attention I knew she needed socially from me.  DH and I opened an office for our business and hired employees for the first time, which required a huge amount of my time, energy, and attention.  DD was advanced academically and colossally bored at home.  Middle DD was starting Kinder work, and I had a preschooler at home (he turned 3 after school started so couldn't attend the private preschool).  We have a great school system.  Her friends (neighbor kids) attended there although not in same grade.  We had some homework although extremely manageable after being a somewhat experienced homeschooler.  She didn't really learn anything because she was already ahead in math and reading, but she had so much fun!  She loved her teacher.  I made sure to volunteer for a couple of class parties.  IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE AND DECISION FOR THAT YEAR!

 

Then we moved to another part of the state, so we went back to homeschooling full time since I had my time, energy, and attention back.  :)  She had absolutely no problem transitioning back to home.  We picked up where we left off.  She didn't even miss her school social time because she preferred the homeschool hours.  :)  DD11 attends PS 6th grade this year for the challenge/social again and because we did not want to homeschool 8th-12th (which means starting in 6th here for honors class tracking).  No problems whatsoever transitioning (except for the early start at 7:30am).

 

I hope that helps some.  I say go for it.  Those are really early grades.  You are a very experienced homeschooler and can keep a watchful eye on it.  Should it not work out, you would have no fear bringing them home.  Win-win!

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My main concern would be how much time will you lose driving everyone to/from where they go?  Do the hours line up well?  It's a discipline for me to transition well, so I seem to lose extra time when I'm interrupted for these things.  Last year I dropped my two olders off at the high school for 2 hours (it's only about a 6 minute drive).  Yet I seemed to lose a lot more time than 30 minutes out of my day for driving.

Are your kids morning people?  Waking mine up and getting them out of the house isn't fun.  We did it when they were younger, and I hated starting my morning dragging kids through getting ready. 

Also, getting the blasted sandwiches into the little baggies is horrid, but that might just be me :p .

I understand needing to do something like this for a season (I have a chronic illness), but for me, the cons always outweighed the pros when it came down to it.  Assuming the preschool isn't free, could you put the money towards a mother's helper, or a cleaning lady, or some other services to help ease your burden?

That said, you could always try it and if it's not working, pull any/all out at any time. 

I hope your recovery goes well.  The daughter of a friend was wheelchair bound for a time from Lyme's, but after intense treatment has made a full recovery.  I'm sorry you're having to face this.


 

Edited by JudoMom
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My six year old is in kindergarten and doing well this year, the four year old was in a good Montessori preschool for the first half of the year and it worked well for him; I pulled him out because the driving was too much for me.

 

If the logistics and the need to stay on top of things like homework and school paperwork are not stressful to you I think it can be a good option.

Edited by maize
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I think this could be a great solution with some caveats.  Would they all be at the same location?  If not, that could be a real challenge to get them there each day.  Who would be handling the driving to and from?  You?  You and DH?  Older kids?  How far away is the school?

 

If they are at the same location would the 3 year old that goes only two days a week 3 hours a day have a matching schedule with the 4 year old for the days they go?  Otherwise you may be seriously losing any gains you might have had with freeing up the schedule for your olders.  

 

If your 3 year old is an extrovert and likes people and they allow it you might go ahead and try them out with the same schedule as the 4 year old, going 4 days a week.  I know that sounds like a lot for a little but it depends on the child and the program.  If it is play based and your child loves people and is an extrovert it might work much better for them and for your schedule to have the 3 and 4 year old on a matching schedule.  DS was super happy to go to school more than 2 days a week.  In fact, he thrived.  He loved, loved, loved it.  And he still had plenty of time to come home and spend quality time with me and his sister and his father.  DD was an introvert but she struggled with a 2 day a week schedule because she would get used to being home then have to go back to school.  She did better going 3 days a week, not two.  It was more predictable in her head that way, less jarring.

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I think that it is MUCH easier to find good preschool (and sometimes kindergarten) options than for older kids, so if I were going to put anyone in school, it would be the little ones. We didn't start homeschooling until 1st, and honestly, if I were to have another child, I'd probably do the same thing-send them to preschool and maybe kindergarten (there are a lot of preschools that have K programs here), and pull them when school starts being less fun and too much sitting and writing.

 

 

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Consider the transportation. I'm considering putting my K-er in school for a year. Dad will take him in the morning (so we get uninterrupted time in the morning and he gets out of the house). It is within walking distance so I'll be picking him up on foot after school (getting in some exercise for me and wiggle time for my littles). The older kids are old enough to keep working on their own during that time. I also plan to stay on the park after school for a bit each day so that he'll be tired when he comes home.

 

Emily

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I think it sounds like a good solution. One of my friends and her husband actually always send their younger children to school for a couple of years and never regretted it. In hindsight I personally think it the time to send them because the goals of the public school probably match your own closer than they ever will again.

(I have no issues with the op or other sending young kids)

 

But I have to say that actually I feel exactly the opposite. I homeschool in the younger grades primarily because I believe that school is completely developmentally inappropriate the way it is in public school for young kids. I don't think this applies to play based preschools but to K-3 or 4 at least it completely does.

 

I also have a large family and have already decided that if I get to a point that I can't keep up with everyone anymore, it will be the older ones that go not the littles. I would be selective of what school and where we are living the public schools are horrible. But ultimately I think that by teenage years, many kids do well with the accountability of a teacher and classroom and learning with peers and such and after spending their young years playing and learning our religion and values, I feel they would be better equipped for the social environment.

 

What we chose instead for one year was online charter school for the MS/HS age. It left me more time to take of young ones and that worked well.

Edited by busymama7
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I agree that for the cost of two kids in preschool you might be able to hire someone to come to your house to play and do activities with them and maybe help with housework or cooking as well. This could be the better option if the logistics of school is not super simple for you.

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I haven't done it yet but I'm seriously tempted some days. Hubby isn't on board though. I feel like in this season we just can't do enough.

 

I'd say go for it.

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Yes,

 

My 4 year old spent this year in afternoon preschool and my 2nd grader is in PS.  It's gone really well, mostly.  Half day preschool means a lot of driving back and forth.   

 

It didn't solve the real scheduling problem for us so next year is still going to be PS for the 2 littles.  But, your reasons are different than ours.

Edited by Leav97
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Both of our boys went to a church preschool. Two mornings a week when they were younger, three mornings a week the year before they started school. DS21 went to public school through fourth grade, DS18 went through first grade.

 

Those were much busier years for me than our homeschooling years ever were. I felt like I was on the road all the time, especially when youngest was in preschool and oldest was in school. When they were in public school I felt like I was on the road all the time and/or at school doing volunteer work (of course you don't have to do that!). My life was considerably less busy when we started homeschooling.

 

All that to say -- I agree that you might want to look into a mother's helper as an option.

Edited by Pawz4me
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Yes, but I put everyone in school at the time. Ds went to 2nd grade and dd1 was in the free 4yo kindergarten offered by the school district. She had a blast, and I was just providing transportation to and from school for the kids with a really little one at home

 

If I was also homeschooling older kids at home, then the driving definitely would have been an issue as the 4K was only a few hours and it seemed like I no sooner than got her there than I had to turn around and go back to pick her up.

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In thinking about this further I am coming to doubt this as a workable solution schedule wise depending on the specifics.  I don't know that you are gaining enough time without the littles. 

 

IF someone else were doing the dropping off and picking up and IF the littles were on the same schedule and IF the kinder and 1st grader were also on the same schedule and if all 4 could be dropped off at the same time it might be worth it but I was thinking this through and if this is on you to do the bulk of the driving or the kids are at different schools or their schedules are not the same then I don't see how you are gaining anything.  

 

1.  Get school kids dressed fed and out the door with any lunch/snack required as well as any backpacks, school bags.  Plan on this taking a while.  Drive to drop off the kids.  If all are in the same location then drop off all at the same time.  If not, drop off at different locations.  May be a line to drop off.  Do you have to walk them in?  That can take time, too.  

 

2.  Drive home.  

 

3.  Try and get organized and started on working with the kids still at home.  

 

4.  Time to drive back to pick up the littles.   If there is a line you may have to wait quite a bit to get them.  

 

5.  Drive home.  Get started again only now you have littles underfoot that want to share about their day and maybe have a snack and may be over tired and hyped up a bit.  

 

6.  Drive back to pick up olders.  If there is a line you will have to wait, possibly quite a while.

 

7.  Drive home.  Get started again.  Olders may have homework or a project or forms to fill out.  They are possibly needing a snack and want to share about their day.  They are probably tired and hyped up a bit.

 

Assuming the school is 10- 15 minutes away, all the kids are going to the same school, and school starts at the same time for all of them this would be a hypothetical morning:

 

7:30am must leave for  school since school starts at 8 and you don't want them to be late.

 

7:45am arrive at the school.  If it is a drive through drop off and there is a line then drop off may take until 8am to get everyone out of the vehicle.  If you have to walk in it will take longer.

 

8:15am you arrive home and try to get your thoughts together and get started with the others.

 

10:40 you need to leave to pick up the youngers that get out at 11am (8-11 being 3 hours).  

 

10:55 am you arrive at the school to get in line for pickup or you park and go in to get them

 

11:10am you have them safely buckled and drive home

 

11:25am you arrive home.  Littles are hungry and want to eat, they want to share their day and they are tired but possibly too pumped up to nap yet (or ever).  It is also close to lunch time.

 

3pm (depending on when the olders get out) you leave to go pick them up.  There may be a line.  

 

3:35pm if everything went smoothly you are now driving home

 

3:50 you arrive home with kids that may need snacks, will want to share their day, may be tired and hyped up and may have homework/papers to sign/etc.

 

And that would be 4 out of 5 days of the week.  And doesn't include oddball days.  

 

To really see how functional this plan would be I would:

  •  drive during normal school hours and see how the traffic is (like in the next week and do it on a couple of different days at the exact times you would normally be driving them to and from school).
  • Write down a best case scenario schedule, plotted out on a grid and see how much time would be available IF EVERY SINGLE THING WENT PERFECTLY SMOOTHLY.
  • Now look at that grid again and see what the margins would be if things did not go smoothly.  
  • Then picture doing this schedule every day for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.

I'm not saying it won't work.  Depending on the details maybe it would work really well.  Maybe the school is in walking distance and the olders can walk the youngers to school.  Maybe there is no traffic.  Maybe you can sink up the youngers schedules so they go at the same time on the same days.  Maybe pick up is easy with no lines.  Maybe the olders that are at home are so independent that they can easily continue to work without you while you are driving back and forth.  Maybe there is someone else who is going to be doing the bulk of the driving so even if you are not feeling well you can still stay home and school while someone else gets the others to and from.  There are a lot of details that could swing this into a workable scenario.  Absolutely.

 

I am just wondering if those things actually AREN'T in place if you wouldn't be better off maybe trying to either hire a mother's helper or put them all (or at least most of them) in school for a year while you focus on your health and well being.

 

 

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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My youngest was in school for k and 1st. We've been homeschooling since. Having him in school was not less work for me, just different work. And now my oldest thinks school is super fun time and mom is just tough on him, precisely because he went to school in the grades when it was super fun time and not very much work.

 

Shifting to school may work, but for us it just literally shifted work around, didn't take less time. But this can be good because maybe you can be a better homework monitor for a time rather than homework giver. :)

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All three of mine went to preschool.  3 hours 2x a week at age 3 and 3 hours 3x a week at age 4.  When oldest started we weren't planning to homeschool her, that came later when it came time to send her to kindergarten.  I decided to send middle, even though we were likely to homeschool, because it did give me a few hours a few days a week with less kids and he enjoyed getting out.  I continued to do it with youngest mostly because he was a handful and those breaks were nice.  For us the driving time was minimal, it took about 20 mins total each preschool day.  It was a preschool that had a lot of play time built in with just a bit of learning time so it was a nice balance.  If the travel time had been more I am not sure it would have been worth it.

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All my kids went to preschool. It was a very good experience for them. 

 

My youngest is now in early childhood special education and gets his therapies there, so it is very beneficial to him. I don't know that I could homeschool both him AND his three older siblings -- it would have to be him or them. He has another year of preschool so we'll see what things look like closer to kindergarten, but for now I'm leaning towards keeping him in school. 

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