Menu
Jump to content

What's with the ads?

Kinsa

S/o people who aren't here anymore

Recommended Posts

"It has always been lovely to know that there are WT Aunties cheering on the WT kids! This is a remarkable community."

 

The reverse is true, too. When people reach out for help, and there is either a virtual or real life betrayal, it is pretty awful.

 

Written communication via a message board has its limitations which is why the "JAWM" tag line is a good one.

 

But betrayal is awful. I am sorry to hear that this has happened.

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That doesn't sound like her. I mean, that doesn't sound like me, and the two of us are constantly butting heads over political stuff. If she was likely to duck out due to frustrations on that front, why the heck did I ever end up going page after page after page with her rehashing the same three points over and over again?

 

It's all very unsettling, and leaves me feeling like something is left unfinished. I don't want people poofing before I can convince them that I'm right and they're wrong. I know people do drift off from online communities, but in this case it really did seem sudden, which is why I am still worried. Not, like, all the time worried, but in the back of my mind.

 

She left and handed over the Current Events group to someone else.  There was a post in that group about her taking a break.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've changed my name and my avatar but my signature has been basically the same so I don't think it would be hard to figure out it's still me (at least if you aren't on a phone that doesn't show signatures!).   I've also stuck with a theme since I went away from my original name.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would miss several people. I regularly miss Murphy but check her FB to make sure she is ok.

 

 

I missed Cat when she was busy with her sick husband.

 

I have been here long enough that I have started to relate to some people more than others.

I miss cat all the time. But I'm so glad her husband is going to be okay.

 

You are probably sick of my baby pictures. That's almost all I post on FB. LOL. With dh traveling and boys at college, they get cranky if I go a couple days without a picture.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Written communication via a message board has its limitations which is why the "JAWM" tag line is a good one.

 

But betrayal is awful. I am sorry to hear that this has happened.

 

I'm talking about people whose relationships moved beyond the boards to "IRL" and the betrayal occurred. It wasn't just a thread where a person reached out for help (JAWM or not) and the thread turned into a pile-on. Although that happens, too.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

About changing names. I changed my name. I've been on these boards since the old old boards that had to turn over. I was using my actual name and decided changing would make searching any extra info a tiny bit harder.

 

I changed my name two years ago I think. I don't know if anyone noticed. I suspect not.

 

Can anyone guess how I came up with my knew name?

I remember when you changed your name. It was around the time the vaccination article came out and the reporter quoted people from this board.

 

If your name was Diana B., I'd have said it was an Anne of GG reference.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember when you changed your name. It was around the time the vaccination article came out and the reporter quoted people from this board.

 

If your name was Diana B., I'd have said it was an Anne of GG reference.

Diana P. P being Prince because I loved Wonder Woman. Now that I've read the history of the character in relation to women's rights in the twentieth century I think she's even more cool than I already did.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
(Actually, I didn't fully decide to quit that board, I just stopped going there and then didn't miss it much and then started posting here. So my quitting there was somewhat phasic.)

 

That's happened to me a few times. I have a limited number of online communities I can really be involved in at any one time. When I hit that limit, one of them drops off the list, slowly but surely.

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"It has always been lovely to know that there are WT Aunties cheering on the WT kids! This is a remarkable community."

 

The reverse is true, too. When people reach out for help, and there is either a virtual or real life betrayal, it is pretty awful.

 

 

Real life betrayal is terrible.  Some won't come back because of it.

Edited by DawnM
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I miss cat all the time. But I'm so glad her husband is going to be okay.

 

You are probably sick of my baby pictures. That's almost all I post on FB. LOL. With dh traveling and boys at college, they get cranky if I go a couple days without a picture.

No I never get sick of baby pictures. :). She is beautiful and precious.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids would not think to post, but they know about you all.  They particularly love Sparkly's dancing bacon avatar.

 

I don't know if I'd be noticed or not, until a thread on something related to Islam came up.   Even if I wasn't missed, I'd miss you guys.

 

I would definitely notice if you were not here. I think about you and your family situation and pray for the best. I think it's hilarious that our Muslim children love the dancing bacon!

 

As a retired homeschooler, I am certainly not as active on the boards as I once was.  The Book a Week thread keeps me around though.

 

Some of us on the BaW thread are on a "postcard" mailing list. When someone disappears for a bit, I tend to write a snail mail note to say hello. 

 

I am still hoping to meet in person! Let 2017 be the year.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm talking about people whose relationships moved beyond the boards to "IRL" and the betrayal occurred. It wasn't just a thread where a person reached out for help (JAWM or not) and the thread turned into a pile-on. Although that happens, too.

Wow, unsinkable, I am so sorry that happened.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, unsinkable, I am so sorry that happened.

To be clear, it didn't happen to me. It happened to people I care about and who didn't deserve to be treated so badly.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To be clear, it didn't happen to me. It happened to people I care about and who didn't deserve to be treated so badly.

Wow. Color me clueless. I guess I totally missed the drama. (Eta: It wouldn't be the first time. I kinda live in my own little happy place and tend to not notice things.) Sad that it happened though.

Edited by Kinsa
  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I've wondered. I would hope at least one or two of the book a week gals would notice if I disappeared. 

 

Yes, we would notice and follow up.

 

I "know" every single poster on this thread so far.  I know names and avatars and some of your stories.  But that doesn't mean that I keep a tally of how many times you post a day or even if you post every day.  I assume that my Tackle thread peeps would notice immediately only because I post that thread daily.  It's kind of hard to miss that I didn't post Friday's thread if you are looking for it to post in.  Similarly, people would notice if Robin didn't post her monthly book thread - because there is a precedent set there.  But do I notice that someone didn't post today?  Not really.  I mean, there are so many reasons why someone might not post - they have nothing to say on these particular topics, they have the flu, they have out-of-town guests, they are swamped with work/school/life. . .   When someone posts again after being gone for a month, I immediately recognize them and remember "who they are" but I might not have noticed exactly how long they were gone. 

 

 

Yes, this.  It's hard to keep track of so many even though we intersect with their lives virtually,  almost on a daily basis. My family is the same way, speaking daily for a while and then life happens and we don't speak for a month or more. I generally notice when someone who posts daily, disappears for awhile and wonder where they went.    I definitely notice when someone disappears from the book a week thread.  If they are still posting out in the forum, I don't worry too much.  But when they disappear completely from the boards, I do check to see if they are okay.  Like Jane said, we established an address list for  postcard/book swaps which comes in handy when we need to make sure and can snail mail or email. I told my hubby about this conversation last night.  He said it would have never crossed his mind to contact anyone here if anything happened to me.  Even given, that he knows how important this community is and has helped us in our home school journey and personally.   He wouldn't know how and thinks it would be simple matter of emailing me to find out what's happening.  

 

 

 

Karen, I have a morbid brain as well. For those boardies I know really well, I have checked facebook and blogs and have even googled local news in their area to make sure nothing dire has happened.  

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Color me clueless. I guess I totally missed the drama. (Eta: It wouldn't be the first time. I kinda live in my own little happy place and tend to not notice things.) Sad that it happened though.

Me too. I rarely notice stuff like that. It took me a while to even notice that a certain few people were consistently unkind to me....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, I say don't change names or avis unless there is a threatening situation and you have to go incognito. I must not be a very good sleuth because I can't identify a post as an old poster with a new name in the large majority of cases. There's just a "new" person with 8,000 posts and I won't recognize them unless they are widely known for a certain topic and then I "catch" them posting about their favorite topic. This has actually only happened one time when I did manage to recognize a poster because of something in the way they debated about their favorite topic.

 

 

I suspect my excessive use of (nested) parentheses would be my most obvious 'tell'. And my putting periods etc on the wrong side of quotation marks (given that some people here care a lot about correct grammar and punctuation etc). Oh, the self-control it'd take to truly go incognito!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Color me clueless. I guess I totally missed the drama. (Eta: It wouldn't be the first time. I kinda live in my own little happy place and tend to not notice things.) Sad that it happened though.

I know from invitations that many boardies communicate in ways off this site - email, fb, phones. I've had email exchanges with one lovely fellow forum member, but have otherwise politely declined due to a necessary desire to maintain some degree of privacy. I hate to hear that those relationships have resulted in fallout.

 

The only bad experience I've had here is making two squares for a quilt and having the organizer not follow through after collecting those donations. It irritated me but what can I say, it was blind mail to a random internet acquaintance. I decided it wasn't grudge-worthy (but I'm sorry it appears other offline interactions have been worse).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only bad experience I've had here is making two squares for a quilt and having the organizer not follow through after collecting those donations. It irritated me but what can I say, it was blind mail to a random internet acquaintance. I decided it wasn't grudge-worthy (but I'm sorry it appears other offline interactions have been worse).

 

Which quilt is that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Color me clueless. I guess I totally missed the drama. (Eta: It wouldn't be the first time. I kinda live in my own little happy place and tend to not notice things.) Sad that it happened though.

 

Ditto - with everything.  Especially sad it happened.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know from invitations that many boardies communicate in ways off this site - email, fb, phones. I've had email exchanges with one lovely fellow forum member, but have otherwise politely declined due to a necessary desire to maintain some degree of privacy. I hate to hear that those relationships have resulted in fallout.

 

The only bad experience I've had here is making two squares for a quilt and having the organizer not follow through after collecting those donations. It irritated me but what can I say, it was blind mail to a random internet acquaintance. I decided it wasn't grudge-worthy (but I'm sorry it appears other offline interactions have been worse).

It was me. I am sorry. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine I feel sure. :(. I still have the box of squaressitting on my dresser.

It was not yours. It was one I started to organize. Another boardie said she would assemble rather than me hiring the local quilt shop. She never followed thrpugh. She also had people send monetary donatins to her, gifts to be sent with the quilt etc. The follow through never happened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmm. I think Creekland and Jane in NC might notice if I were gone. But I am not one of the posters like Kalamanak who have been really helpful, really influential on others so not likely to otherwise be remembered. That's okay. I am cool with that.

I'd notice if you were gone. You've been really helpful understanding Gothardite relatives.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Me too. I rarely notice stuff like that. It took me a while to even notice that a certain few people were consistently unkind to me....

 

Oh wow, that is unfortunate.  Sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was not yours. It was one I started to organize. Another boardie said she would assemble rather than me hiring the local quilt shop. She never followed thrpugh. She also had people send monetary donatins to her, gifts to be sent with the quilt etc. The follow through never happened.

That quilt situation broke my heart. I cross-stitched a piece for that. It took a month of steady work to make that square. I put it through on time. Between that and a time I participated in the Christmas gift donation thing, I decided this was not happening anymore. I will only put IRL money and resources into help if I actually know the human being affected. It kills me to think anyone would scam or flunk out on this. But those two situations burned me so bad.

 

I still think about the poster for whom the quilt was intended.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Was the quilt for the daughter of a boardie?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was me. I am sorry. :(

No, the square for your quilt was sent and received by you, I feel sure. This was a second quilt, one for a boardie's daughter who had been through a traumatic experience. I made two squares of piecework custom to the two dogs she owned, and I have no idea where they ended up after i sent them to the organizer. Despite requests for updates, nothing was ever done to assemble them, afaik.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was not yours. It was one I started to organize. Another boardie said she would assemble rather than me hiring the local quilt shop. She never followed thrpugh. She also had people send monetary donatins to her, gifts to be sent with the quilt etc. The follow through never happened.

Swellmama I know we talked about it at the time, I reiterate here for all that I know you were not at fault! And this is the first time I've mentioned it since it became obvious long ago that the project was a wash. I cannot even remember that organizer's board name anymore.

 

Rosie, I would have loved to contribute to your quilt. I had some challenging life stuff going on at that time and I missed the boat. I love that you have it now!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, the square for your quilt was sent and received by you, I feel sure. This was a second quilt, one for a boardie's daughter who had been through a traumatic experience. I made two squares of piecework custom to the two dogs she owned, and I have no idea where they ended up after i sent them to the organizer. Despite requests for updates, nothing was ever done to assemble them, afaik.

Oh, ok. Yes I for sure have all the squares sent to me. They will be a quilt someday. Soon. I feel such guilt every time I look at that box of squares.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, ok. Yes I for sure have all the squares sent to me. They will be a quilt someday. Soon. I feel such guilt every time I look at that box of squares.

Hey I believe I can speak for every square donor that the project was never meant to induce guilt! Who cares if you never sew them together! Just know you have a little treasure box of well-wishes from folks who cared about you during a difficult phase of your life!

Edited by Seasider
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Rosie, I would have loved to contribute to your quilt. I had some challenging life stuff going on at that time and I missed the boat. I love that you have it now!

 

I only was able to contribute a bit of money for shipping as I just felt that I didn't want to commit to a square and not follow through.

 

Now I wish I had.  I had an idea for a square too.

 

Sigh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes.

 

Ok, I know which quilt it was now.  I didn't realize it wasn't ever sent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Swellmama I know we talked about it at the time, I reiterate here for all that I know you were not at fault! And this is the first time I've mentioned it since it became obvious long ago that the project was a wash. I cannot even remember that organizer's board name anymore.

 

Rosie, I would have loved to contribute to your quilt. I had some challenging life stuff going on at that time and I missed the boat. I love that you have it now!

 

:)

 

The people here were *very* generous. I have a quilt and enough squares to make another. I'm saving them until dd is experienced enough at sewing to put them together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think about stuff like that, too. I have dropped off sites before and didn't know if anyone noticed/cared.

 

There are people that I would notice if they weren't around for a while, but I might not notice right away assuming they were posting on threads I wasn't reading.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've also thought that some of the people here have made up lives because they're so colorful--like you said, not trolls, but wanting to fit in or be special.

 

And then sometimes I post something a bit unusual about my own life and think, "People probably think I'm making this stuff up." So then I don't know what to think about the colorful posters.

I feel like so much of my life is unbelievable that I can't believe it sometimes, and then I don't post about it here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:)

 

The people here were *very* generous. I have a quilt and enough squares to make another. I'm saving them until dd is experienced enough at sewing to put them together.

You are one of the posters I often think about.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:)

 

The people here were *very* generous. I have a quilt and enough squares to make another. I'm saving them until dd is experienced enough at sewing to put them together.

Like!

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, ok. Yes I for sure have all the squares sent to me. They will be a quilt someday. Soon. I feel such guilt every time I look at that box of squares.

Are they in a pretty box? Put them in a pretty box and pull them out and look at them from time to time and be done with it.

 

I remember the square I made. It was horrid and I'm not being coy. It really was horrid. I'm terrible at anything crafty, simply terrible. I took one look at my completed square and got a serious case of the giggles because it turned out so horrid. But I sent it anyway, because I'd promised to do so. I can't remember it exactly, but I think I tried to sew buttons on it...not sure.

 

I remember that I was teaching my ds who was very small at the time how to address envelopes. I let him address the envelope that the square was mailed in. His handwriting was atrocious. I started giggling again picturing someone getting that package in the mail with the atrocious handwriting and then seeing the ugly square inside and thinking, "Wow. Wow. Garga. That handwriting...that square. Just wow." I cackled a bit. It makes me cackle a little now. :).

 

So, just look at the squares and forget about sewing them together. Maybe get a couple of frames and frame a few. When you get tired of looking at those few, switch them out with some new squares.

Edited by Garga
  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like so much of my life is unbelievable that I can't believe it sometimes, and then I don't post about it here.

If it makes you feel better, you come across as very genuine to me. And really, the people I'm thinking of have left the hive. I can't think of anyone currently on the boards that I wonder about.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rosie, I'm glad to hear about the extra squares! :)

 

I know my dh would let someone on BaW know if I was no longer able to post which is where I normally hang out.

 

Years ago I recommended the board and book to someone who went on to be a close friend. At the time I was a very occasional lurker but I was under the impression she posted quite a bit for awhile.

 

Fast forward a few years and I became a fairly active poster and my friend had given up posting completely because she was ill with cancer. She gave up wifi totally so I knew she wasn't active here anymore. I hung out with her an afternoon a week during that time and talked about curriculum all the time because she was still planning and home educating. I didn't really want to say I was enjoying the Wtm when she couldn't so I never asked her board name. Never. A few weeks after she died I knew I probably should let people know but I never figured out who she was here by browsing her interests. Then we all started changing names which made it pretty impossible....I have always felt a bit of sad that I didn't do that for her.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"It has always been lovely to know that there are WT Aunties cheering on the WT kids! This is a remarkable community."

 

The reverse is true, too. When people reach out for help, and there is either a virtual or real life betrayal, it is pretty awful.

I feel I've seen some bullying and have felt judged in times of need myself.

 

I wonder about Mrs. Mungo. I felt like there were some people who were just mean to her before she left and went out of their way to disagree and wondered if that was part of her decision to go. I really wasn't following her closely though and could have it all wrong. Maybe it was just a b@tch##r board season in general or something or not. :) I miss her though!

Edited by ifIonlyhadabrain

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was not yours. It was one I started to organize. Another boardie said she would assemble rather than me hiring the local quilt shop. She never followed thrpugh. She also had people send monetary donatins to her, gifts to be sent with the quilt etc. The follow through never happened.

 

ETA:  Thanks to those who sent me a PM to update me.  It's definitely disgusting to know someone offered, received things, then never did anything.

 

I totally missed this (probably because my craft ability is around a -10 on a 0 to 10 scale so I don't read those threads).  You're saying someone had money, gifts, and squares sent to her and kept them - a scam?  (Just checking to see if I'm understanding the situation correctly.)  If so, can someone direct me to that thread.  I'd love to know who that was.   :cursing:  :banghead:   I'll be just as upset with that Boardie as many of the rest of you are.

Edited by creekland
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally missed this (probably because my craft ability is around a -10 on a 0 to 10 scale so I don't read those threads). You're saying someone had money, gifts, and squares sent to her and kept them - a scam? (Just checking to see if I'm understanding the situation correctly.) If so, can someone direct me to that thread. I'd love to know who that was. :cursing: :banghead: I'll be just as upset with that Boardie as many of the rest of you are.

I missed that too. I knew quilt squares were being collected. I also knew there were times people collected gifts or money. There have been "boardies helping boardies" threads. That's horrible that someone on here took advantage of other's generousity.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm don't know if I'd go so far as to say it was a scam - swellmama would know better - more like a major fail. But I sent two squares and a letter. Folks who sent cash might feel more scammed.

 

I think the person collecting maybe just got in over her head and then ended up just bailing on the follow through.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...