Only me Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I am having major back surgery (involving nerves as well as replacing part of my sacrum) on May 17. It is out of state and we will be gone about a week. It is a long recovery. When I get home I cannot lift, bend, twist or reach for at least 2 months but maybe more. It will also be difficult to stand long. I have always cooked for my family. I was a SAHM as well as homeschooling and sometimes working part time. I was going to go back to work when my youngest started high school but that's when I started with my pain and other medical problems. Everyone in the house is over 18. My husband does not cook except for throwing in a pizza or heating up chili. My son and middle daughter both cook pretty well but nothing too complicated. My ds will sometimes cook himself lunch something like chicken breasts and rice or an omlet. He goes to community college this year. My middle daughter is away at school but lives in an apartment and will cook for herself when she has time. . My oldest does not cook and is moving out in early June. All 3 "kids" will be working full time when I get home from surgery. My middle daughter will have regular hours (7-3:30) She has severe insomnia plus she will be working outside a lot so she will be exhausted when she gets home. My son will often have a later shift (3-10) so he won't be home for dinner a lot. My oldest is a teacher and will be home pretty early but will not cook. I don't want to get it into details but I highly doubt she will be willing to help out. Even if she did she would be clueless and need help. My husband often works at home but I have the feeling he will place most of the responsibility on the kids which means it will probably fall to my middle daughter. I'm sure he will get fast food but I don't want to eat fast food for weeks. I am trying to plan some meals before I leave for surgery and possibly make some freezer meals, although we don't have a ton of freezer space. I want to make a few things ahead of time but it can't be too involved because of my current pain. I'm definitely not a great cook but I try to make dinner most nights of the week. We tend to eat a lot of chicken, pasta, tacos, a few casseroles and sometimes frozen pizza or that type of thing. We have an instant pot although I have only learned how to make a few successful meals in it. We don't have an outdoor grill but do have a tabletop one. We have a crock pot but my family doesn't really care for those meals. We don't eat a lot of red meat except for occasional hamburger in tacos or actual hamburger. They still aren't hige fans of vegetables. I would really appreciate some suggestions as the surgery got scheduled a few weeks before I thought it would and I don't want to worry about it after surgery. I'm hoping my husband will pitch in and then perhaps my son and daughter will each be responsible for one night. I don't want to leave it all to my daughter. Hopefully after a few weeks I can at least sit at the table and assist but can't do much. So please give me some easy recipes or quick dinner ideas. I want to have a list of easy recipes and also quick meal ideas (frozen pizza, frozen breaded shrimp etc) I don't want to eat unhealthy for that long but at first that isn't my biggest concern. Once in awhile I haven't been up to cooking so my husband and older daughter will say they will fend for themselves and then my son will have to figure out something to eat last minute and I often end up just having a bowl of cereal. My husband tends to just look out for himself and not even think that maybe I need something too. (On nights that I'm in too much pain to cook). I told him I will need help from everyone since I absolutely can't do anything at first. I have the feeling though he won't end up cooking. Of course my kids are perfectly capable but I want it to be a team effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I would do as many freezer meals as you can possibly fit. Interspersed with fresh meals should really help take the burden off of whomever ends up cooking. Assuming no dietary restrictions I would freeze, Lasagne chili stuffed peppers shepherd's pie Chicken almondine (this is a taste of home recipe and is very good and freezes well) chicken and wild rice soup (although the carrots will probably end up mushy with freezing them but that has never bothered me) precooked taco meat I also like shredded meat in gravy as well (can be eaten in sandwiches, over mashed potatoes, on toast or thinned with water and adding veggies to make the base of a casserole/pot pie) you could also freeze some precooked slices of chicken. You would just need to convince someone to buy you a bag of prewashed lettuce and you could add some chicken and have a healthy meal even if the others are content to each junkier foods. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I actually wouldn't do too many freezer meals prepped ahead of time- make enough for a week. In the mean time, identify store-bought freezer meals that are acceptable, that way they can be bought weekly or every other week to re-fill the freezer since you don't have much room. Your kids are all adults. I would have sandwich stuff available at all times. Then, whoever is the most competent should grill up a big pack of chicken breasts or thighs (marinate in Italian salad dressing) on the weekend. These can be chopped and thrown into any store-bought bagged salad mix. That takes care of lunches. Two months, in the grand scheme of things, isn't too long for you to repeat meals and make things as easy as possible. Breakfast: eggs, oatmeal, cold cereal, cheese and crackers... I'd consider something simple like a protein shake for yourself Lunch: deli sandwiches, tuna or egg salad, or bagged salad+chicken Dinner: hotdogs, hamburgers, pizza, frozen pasta dish, tacos, chili, rotisserie chicken, take-out, frozen non-pasta meal, add a store-bought sauce to your pre-grilled chicken and serve over rice (plus microwaved veggies)... Repeat this a few times and you have 2 months of easy food. Grocery List should be pretty much the same each week, and I'd check to see if you can order online for pick-up or delivery so that you can get exactly what you want and the designated shopped just needs to drive up and load the stuff. - sandwich stuff - bagged salad mix - big thing of chicken pieces - ground beef (encourage them to brown it all at once at the beginning of the week) - rotisserie chicken - burgers and hot dogs - frozen meals - frozen veggies - eggs - staples like butter and milk, cheese and crackers, breakfast items .... you get the idea! Good luck with your surgery. I hope it goes well and your are considerably more comfortable after! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 There are tons of things online for crockpot freezer meals where you put everything together in a ziplock bag and stick it in the freezer. I would start with something like that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) Rotisserie chicken from Sam's will be a friend. Add a bag of frozen vegetables and a container of frozen mac-n-cheese, and you have a decent meal. Add chicken breasts (2-3 pounds), jar of salsa, package of taco mix, juice of one lime in crockpot - cook for 3-5 hours. Save and use meat for tacos, taco salad, burritos, enchiladas, etc. Add chicken breasts, applesauce, small bottle of bar-b-q sauce to crock pot. Cook 3-4 hours. Bake some potatoes and another bag of frozen veggies and you are done. And, yes, I'd be tempted to print out several recipes from crockpot cooking sites and have them ready. Just go ahead now and purchase a bunch of liners. I usually don't use them (except when I'm making dressing), but this will make it easier on your family. Your meals will be different from what you currently have, but that is okay. Using the crockpot and frozen vegetables will mean that cooking won't be that time consuming, and people will be much more likely to prepare nutritious meals. Leftovers will be your friend too. Bacon/eggs/toast - breakfast for supper can be fun and easy to make. I think it might be nice to have a family meeting on Sunday to plan a menu for each week. Each person take a day/meal suggestion (or two) and commit to that. The days people are busy - stop by and pick something up from those places that have decent meals (Jason's Deli, Panera Bread - those type places). We also have a few local health-food restaurants that deliver. If your family can't commit to helping, then perhaps you could find someone to pay to come in and prepare one meal a day? If not, could you get Meals on Wheels to deliver? Or do you have other delivery services for restaurants? Edited April 12, 2017 by Bambam 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceseeker Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 You are already in pain and they are all adults. Time for everyone else to step up. This will be a good preview for life when they all have to learn to feed themselves. Consider it a post graduation homeschool class in being a grown up (and try not to help too much!) I would offer to show anyone a favorite recipe now if they want to learn and let them know they are on their own for the next two months. I would have your husband shop for sandwich, salad, and egg and baked potato fixings each week with a couple of frozen choices (frozen pizza, shrimp, etc...) They will survive. Will it be super healthy? Probably not. But unless you are going to cook for them for the rest of their lives they have to learn sometime, and this seems like the perfect opportunity. So try and let go. Your husband will survive as well. I say this because you are already in pain and forcing yourself to assemble a bunch of meal starters or freezer meals seems like a lot to ask of you, especially when you have no small people and these are all adults. There are lots of recipes of course, and ideas for this kind of thing. But should you be doing this for them right now when you are hurting and they are healthy, competent adults? I would tell them the best thing they could do to help you is to take care of themselves while you are recovering. And bring you a sandwich! 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) Those ADULTS need to "man-up" and plan who will shop, who will clean, who will cook, and plan how to take care of Mom for several months. The one who doesn't work until 3 in particular can make an early meal for you, something others can reheat later. If folks balk, tell hubby that you will be staying in rehab or a short-term nursing facility if that is what is needed to get you proper care once you leave the hospital. You expect them to take care of the house and take care of YOU, not the other way round. Print out basic recipes and instructions and leave in a binder on the kitchen counter. BTW any adult who still lives at home but is too clueless or doesn't want to help better start looking for an apartment or be paying a decent amount of rent. Poor things are too tired after a full days work? Welcome to adult reality, "kids". Now watch a YouTube video on how to roast a chicken or make a meatloaf and take care of Mom. After our car crash my one daughter postponed moving out to be more available to help, my youngest was in high school and the older dd knew she had to fit grocery shopping etc. into her already full schedule. High school dd took over laundry, some cooking, cleaning. Adult "kids" can usually rise to the occasion when they need to. If they know you are stocking the freezer etc. then they can avoid pitching in as much. Ah, I sound too mean. Do you have Peapod or another delivery service in your area? At least you can do grocery shopping from your bed, then. Otherwise I like the other poster's suggestions. I just get my dander up when adult kids or teens have too many excuses not to pitch in and take over/help when Mom (or Dad) is incapacitated. Edited April 12, 2017 by JFSinIL 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Right now I'm making a list of easy stuff to have on hand when I don't feel like making much effort. So far I have: Kielbasa and pierogis (fried in one pan with onions) and canned beets or sour kraut. Chicken strips (you can do frozen/breaded) served with bagged salad and frozen fries Precooked ground beef can go into: chili, pasta, sloppy joes, tacos, or hamburger helper Precooked ham with mac n cheese and a frozen, steam-in-microwave-bag veggie Honestly, you shouldn't be the only one planning for this. Meet with each person separately and insist they be responsible for COOKING one night per week. This still leaves them three nights for take-out. It doesn't matter if Dd 1makes chili on Monday for five weeks in a row. It just matters that it get done. Make sure they all understand that dumping the responsibility ALL on Dd 2 is a jerk move. Help them come up with their own plan that they can actually pull off even if it's freezer lasagna and bagged salad. That stuff takes over an hour to cook, so you have to plan for it. You need them now and they need to get that. For your own survival, you might wanna stock up on veggie soup or something that'll satisfy you, that they can zap, so you font lose it when they're eating their 10th pizza. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) what we did was a family meeting..we made a menu for the week, then assigned cooks, prep helpers,and dishwashers. I made the shopping list...these days you can save time by ordering online and it is ready for the person picking up. It worked out alright. If I have to do it in the future, I would consider a contract with a local restaurant...but it was good for Us as a home ec unit. no one starved and one of the teens became a good cook. Definitely have some backups for yourself as they adjust....tunasalad already prepared with fruit will be helpful. You need to eat well in recovery. Edited April 12, 2017 by Heigh Ho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I would be very clear on the point that while it's lovely that they are capable of feeding themselves, all of them will need to make sure that you are receiving adequate, healthy meals. You can't dictate what they make for you, so on that point I'd have a family meeting with brainstorming session. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) Look into renting a hospital bed, too, to have in whichever room will be easiest for you to use (and close to a bathroom, perhaps rent a special toilet chair to make getting up and down easier, too). Pushing a button to raise the back of the bed makes it easier to get out of bed. Ask your doctor if a hospital bed would be helpful during recovery. A shower chair is a good idea, too. My mom had major back surgery when we were little kids. Three months she could do nothing. Somewhere I have seen a photo Dad took of the top of my head, I am trying to see onto the kitchen counter as I reach up and struggle to make my own pb&j sandwich. If my mom's little kids could make their own food, then your adult kids can, too ;-) Edited April 12, 2017 by JFSinIL 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I don't know how the cash situation is, but you might look into getting an additional freezer and putting it in the garage or something, where you can just stock up on individual portions of stuff. And then put a padlock on it and label this MOM'S FREEZER FOOD. I agree that the adults living at their parents' home can pony up some adulting. If you don't think they are going to do this, then prepare a bunch of soups and stews and other things that you can pre-freeze and easily heat up and put them in the new freezer. (I have an adult son living at home and he cooks his own meals. He isn't around when we eat, and I'm no longer a short-order cook. Miraculously, he has not starved to death. Necessity is the mother of...asking mom, "So how DO you make scrambled eggs?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Costco has great frozen entrees. Ling ling potstickers are good. DH loves the chicken pot pies (Marie Callendars?) Frozen breaded prawns Tortellinis Raviolis Also they have partially premade stuff that you just stick in the oven, like: Stuffed turkey breast Seasoned pork tenderloin Cheesy french bread And deli stuff you can just put on the table, like: Roasted chicken Veggie platters Sushi platters 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 Those ADULTS need to "man-up" and plan who will shop, who will clean, who will cook, and plan how to take care of Mom for several months. The one who doesn't work until 3 in particular can make an early meal for you, something others can reheat later. If folks balk, tell hubby that you will be staying in rehab or a short-term nursing facility if that is what is needed to get you proper care once you leave the hospital. You expect them to take care of the house and take care of YOU, not the other way round. Print out basic recipes and instructions and leave in a binder on the kitchen counter. BTW any adult who still lives at home but is too clueless or doesn't want to help better start looking for an apartment or be paying a decent amount of rent. Poor things are too tired after a full days work? Welcome to adult reality, "kids". Now watch a YouTube video on how to roast a chicken or make a meatloaf and take care of Mom. After our car crash my one daughter postponed moving out to be more available to help, my youngest was in high school and the older dd knew she had to fit grocery shopping etc. into her already full schedule. High school dd took over laundry, some cooking, cleaning. Adult "kids" can usually rise to the occasion when they need to. If they know you are stocking the freezer etc. then they can avoid pitching in as much. Ah, I sound too mean. Do you have Peapod or another delivery service in your area? At least you can do grocery shopping from your bed, then. Otherwise I like the other poster's suggestions. I just get my dander up when adult kids or teens have too many excuses not to pitch in and take over/help when Mom (or Dad) is incapacitated. No you are right. Actually it's just my oldest who will probably give us the biggest problem about pitching in but she is moving out in early June. The daughter who will be working the most is probably the most willing to help but I just know that she will be struggling with the hours of this job. She has severe clinical insomnia and also chronic migraines and struggles with getting up super early. She will be getting up at 5:30 which means a max of 4-5 hours hours of sleep for her. Of course she will have to cook when she moves out and actually she cooks for herself now but I'm hoping we can figure out these migraines before then. She will definitely pitch in but I don't want it to all fall on her. I'm most worried that my husband and oldest daughter won't help. My son won't be home many evenings but I told him today maybe he can help by making things earlier in the day for us to reheat or he can help with the shopping and housework. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I remember when one of mine had migraines, the pediatric neuro put him on valproic acid (Depakote) as a preventative, which cut his several a month migraines down to once every month or so - and Zomig to carry and take at the first inkling of a migraine developing. Migraines are awful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 I will have her mention that to the neurologist when she sees him in May. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 It sounds like you have some extenuating circumstances all around. I'd find a way to make it so I was not dependent on others during the recovery time, and that they were not dependent on me, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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