Ever have a kid afraid to go to the bathroom alone?

[umsami]

This is new for me.  Always takes a sibling.  Doesn't matter if it's day or night.

 

 

How did you handle it?

[tshirtyogapantmama]

My youngest was like that except we just had him leave the door open. After a year or so we started slowly shutting it more and more until now he will have it closed. Sometimes he does forgets but he is only 6.

[maize]

One of mine did this until past the age of 8.

 

It was just one manifestation of generalized anxiety.

[Julie Smith]

I can't remember ages. But youngest was likely around 5 when he became unwilling to go upstairs, or downstairs unless someone was already on that floor. We live in a 1000+ square foot house. It was very annoying, but he eventually outgrew it.

[Callie]

Yes. We finally figured out Scooby Doo cartoons were scaring her. But for several years she had to have one of her sisters go with her

[LucyStoner]

This is my life. First my older son and now my younger son.

 

I've placed a hard limit at home...he needs to use the toilet without me following him in there. He is welcome to cajole him brother or cousin into walking him down the hall and he's welcome to leave the door partially open but I will not stop what I am doing to go sit on the edge of the tub while he uses the toilet. A year ago, such a limit would have been futile...he would have just wet his pants. Now it seems to be mostly working but if I would take him, he would prefer that.

 

In places with public restrooms in one room with stalls, he goes with his brother. In places with individual restrooms, I will walk him to the door if it's a less familar place but he has to go inside himself and shut the door. In very familar places with individual restrooms he's reached the point he's willing to walk there in his own. This would be the library and one of the places he takes classes.

 

He will not, under any circumstances at this point try to use the toilets with stalls on his own.

 

I figure it will resolve before he goes to college. My older son was about 9 or so when he finally got over holding it rather than use the public toilets.

Edited April 12, 2017 by LucyStoner

[6packofun]

One of mine did this until past the age of 8.

 

It was just one manifestation of generalized anxiety.

 

 

Yes. My 10yo is just now getting over his fear of going to the bathroom alone.  He has general anxiety as well.  

 

He doesn't want to go into dark rooms of the house, either, even though he can just turn on a light switch.  It's exhausting.  We try to be encouraging and sometimes if no one is able to accompany him he has to wait or lose out on what he wants.  We will only go so far to accommodate this, honestly, but we're not mean about it!  We also talk a lot about how "Someday when you conquer this fear, it will be so nice to just go get a drink yourself, won't it?" and other things that show we KNOW he can get through this and it won't last forever.

[LucyStoner]

We moved from a small cozy 2 bdrm apartment when my older son was 4 to a three story townhouse. That, my friends, that is where it became clear he had clinical levels of something going on. Part of me wonders how the anxiety would have manifested itself had we stayed in that tiny two bedroom.

[Aura]

Yes. My youngest. I still don't know why. He just doesn't like going upstairs by himself, especially to the bathroom. It's not a problem except for showers.

 

I started sending the dog with him. He's happy as long as he has the dog. He's turning 7 soon.

[6packofun]

The book Anxiety-Free Kids (I think that's the name?) has a great tool where you create a ladder on paper that ranks steps to overcoming a fear little by little and rewarding each accomplishment, taking one step at a time.  So the first one might be (for my son, for example) turning the light on by himself.  Then the next thing to work on might be going into the bathroom with the light on and me standing outside with the door open. Next, same thing only now we go in together and I move the shower curtain all the way open--this was a BIG fear for him; he HAD to have the shower curtain open but had to work up to being able to do it himself!  And so on, ranking them in whatever way the CHILD sees as low to high anxiety-causing activities.

 

Here is a site that probably explains better!  https://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/tools/facing-my-fears

[eternalsummer]

I've had two like this, both at about 4 years old, during a time of what was (for them) some instability - first new sibling, two big moves in a month, etc.

 

Over the course of several months in which I basically went with them every time, it abated.

[Lizzie in Ma]

No but after binge watching Supernatural Season 1, I waited til someone got home to go to the bathroom. ;)