Shabby Scholé Weekly Soirée ~Rest~ 4/09/17

[Woodland Mist Academy]

"Teaching from a state of rest"  is an oft-repeated phrase in scholé circles. What does "teaching from rest" mean to you? What does it look like in your home? Do you struggle with the idea of rest?

 

Does teaching from rest look different during the high school years?

 

 

Nothing gives rest but the sincere search for truth.   

 ~Blaise Pascal

                                                                                                        

 

 

What is Shabby Scholé? 

Shabby Scholé Weekly Soirée 

 

ETA: Continued discussion on last week's thread welcome... High School Priorities

Edited April 9, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[....]

Well, after all these years, I've wondered what kind of homeschoolers we are.  So, apparently, we're Schole Homeschoolers.  Lol.  All of these Schole posts seem to be stuff we do in our home.  I've just now figured out that philosophy has a name!  So, now I can claim "Schole" when other people look at me funny after I describe our homeschool.

 

Here's a good article on "teaching from a state of rest":  https://www.circeinstitute.org/blog/teaching-state-rest

 

From my viewpoint:

I refuse to turn our homeschool into public school on steroids.  

They're going to have gaps in their education.  Everyone has gaps in their knowledge.  

Learning doesn't stop at the end of 12th grade.  

It's ok to not know the answer to everything (for me and for them).

They're not going to realistically remember everything they study/learn.

We just move in a consistently forward direction and I try not to worry about it.

 

I'm not going to change what we're enjoying to jump on the Crazy Train that is the super-competitive/AP everything/3 gazillion activities/make yourself marketable to colleges/everyone is exhausted and burned out that's going on where we live.  I've seen public school teens here lock themselves in bathrooms at activities, cry hysterically when something doesn't go right, throw things at a sports competition when they don't win, parents fighting with other parents on the sidelines at sports events, etc.  Our family is usually pretty even-keel, so I'm not used to that kind of drama from teens/adults.

 

Our day is usually pretty relaxed, too:

The teens sleep in later than the younger ones.

They spend a lot of time outside (both teens work with horses twice a week).

They have volunteer jobs in the real world.  Lol.

I put their assignments on One Note on the Kindle and they just work on stuff throughout the day.

Currently, they are choosing what they want to study and then we put a course together.

We have some electives that are not super-academic, but they'll enjoy and they're peaceful - like they're doing Woodworking this year.

 

Well, those are my thoughts.  I like your Schole threads, BTW!

[Guest]

I love this topic! But I will be honest- I'm still working through this one. I read Sarah McKenzie's book on it last summer and it gave me so much to think about. But I struggle with the whole idea of being at peace and knowing why I'm doing this, confidence that I will get us where we need to be, and not letting the expectations of others get to me.

[....]

 But I struggle with the whole idea of being at peace and knowing why I'm doing this, confidence that I will get us where we need to be, and not letting the expectations of others get to me.

 

I get tomatoes thrown at me every time I say this, but honestly, seeing the end results (in my personal life) of pushing kids too hard has caused me to relax, put on my horse blinders and keep moving forward.  *shrug*. 

 

Our generation can be very hyper-competitive and comparison-driven (IMO).  It's weird when you step outside that box and look back.  I wish I could post some of the ideas/fears/plans I've heard at homeschool group get-togethers.   :svengo:   I mean, some of the younger parents are absolutely terrified their kids are going to fall behind and their expectations sound great on paper, but when you look at the *real kid*, they're just not realistic.

 

And it probably sounds like my kids are really behind and lazy when I describe our homeschool, but they're not.

 

Oh, well.   :tongue_smilie:  Just my opinion... 

[wintermom]

I have no idea. The only time I've taught from "a state of rest" is when I was ill and had to get the dc doing some homeschooling while I was lying in bed. I have to admit that these occasions were wonderful on the homeschool side, though!  I can never quite catch that same vibe when I'm healthy for some reason.  If I tried to describe the particular vibe, it would probably be:

 

- letting the dc choose their own pace and order of material to cover for their independent work and play

- staying at home and not rushing off to any outside-the-home activities

- letting the dc bring me food and drinks in bed! I particularly love this item. ;)

- using a quiet voice making very few demands on the dc. Trust that they will get their things done. Even if they only get some of the regular things accomplished, it's better than nothing.

 

 

[birchbark]

"Teaching from a state of rest"  is an oft-repeated phrase in scholé circles. What does "teaching from rest" mean to you?

It means rest as opposed to anxiety, not rest as opposed to work. For me, that comes from understanding what is most important and sticking to that.  

 

What does it look like in your home?

We take a somewhat "minimalistic" approach to school for K-8, but it's a bit harder when you hit high school and you need to start counting credits. I make sure all our kiddos have unscheduled or down time on a regular basis.

 

Do you struggle with the idea of rest?

My greatest temptation to anxiety is the fact that we are going through HS for the first time and still figuring things out!

 

Does teaching from rest look different during the high school years?

A big part of TEACHING from rest is having my students manage their own day with student planners. Another facet is learning to mastery; taking as long as necessary to get things down-- especially in math. We are not racing to calculus.

 

We also have not chosen to go the AP-everything route.

[Closeacademy]

Again here we are interest driven in our home school.  But for me I try to seek balance. A balance between:

 

book work and independent free time to learn on their own

responsibility and knowing how to relax

active work and inactivity

being social and doing outside activities/meeting friends vs. just having time at home

talking together about important things vs. time for them to be alone with inside their brains

skill work vs creative work

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

"Teaching from a state of rest"  is an oft-repeated phrase in scholé circles. What does "teaching from rest" mean to you? 

 

For me, "teaching from rest" is somewhat akin to restful alertness, having a mind like the moon and a mind like water.

 

"Restful alertness" is typically associated with meditation. The mind is alert, but the body is at rest. 

 

"Having a mind like the moon" is often associated with martial arts. Just as the moon on a cloudless night sees all, our minds are aware of even subtle signals of danger and potential threats as we keep alert surveillance. The clouds that sometimes block the moon can be our anxiety, unrealistic expectations, etc. If we let anxiety cloud our vision, we lose the ability to see warning signs that our teens have moved beyond a healthy level of stress, that they are struggling, that they are becoming depressed, or that they are in some other way headed toward danger. 

 

"Having a mind like water" is another phrase often associated with martial arts. Just as water can move quickly and smoothly around obstacles, so too can the mind which is free of undue burdens, cares, and distractions. 

 

When I am present, both in body and mind -- not distracted, not anxious -- but fully present, I am more effective both as a teacher and as a role model. 

Edited April 10, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[Woodland Mist Academy]

What does it look like in your home? 

 

To draw from martial arts again, balance. Closeacademy has already mentioned balance, but it's worth repeating. There are times the mind is at rest and the body is at work, and there are times the body is at rest and the mind is at work. There are times both are at work or both are at rest. Rest in this instance can be seen as either in motion or in a state of stress. Stress, in and of itself, is not necessarily bad. Some stress is necessary for growth, both in body and mind. When we don't balance that stress with rest and restoration, injury can result. 

 

Finding healthy balance in our home means the right mix of these:

 

outsourcing and at-home classes

AP and general courses

social time and personal time

work and play

stress and restoration

 

Do you struggle with the idea of rest?  

 

Birchbark mentioned teaching from rest as  "...understanding what is most important and sticking to that"  I think that is my biggest struggle and source of anxiety. There are so.very.many worthwhile pursuits. We could always be doing more, learning more, experiencing more. The admonishment is often to stop "doing" and take time to read and think. In my mind that is still doing.  It doesn't happen in a vacuum.

 

Edited April 10, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Does teaching from rest look different during the high school years? 

 

For us it does. My role has changed significantly. I am less of a teacher and more of a life coach and confidante.  Modeling a healthy lifestyle feels more important than ever. 

 

I've also found that for us, appropriately outsourced classes and even appropriate APs go to the very heart of scholé  - gathering with others to seek truth, beauty, and wisdom.

 

Please note: This is just our path. In no way do I feel everyone should outsource. I had zero plans to outsource high school. I sometimes think wistfully of all the wonderful plans I had for home grown high school classes... but, the real teen in front of me is not the teen of those wistful imaginings....

 

Also, note the stress on appropriate. Much time and consideration is given to choosing classes. Outsourcing decisions are not made from stress, fear, or anxiety. The decision to outsource for us is, in part, a way to join with others in the search for truth, beauty, and wisdom.

 

I also make a point to give my teen healthy, special food and warm or cold seasonal drinks during classes. It might not be at an outdoor café, cozy coffeehouse, or elegant restaurant, but the goal is the same  -- a special time set apart to focus on the shared journey for truth, beauty, and wisdom.

 

Good food, great books, thoughtful conversation. Scholé.

[....]

Does teaching from rest look different during the high school years? 

 

For us it does. My role has changed significantly. I am less of a teacher and more of a life coach and confidante.  Modeling a healthy lifestyle feels more important than ever. 

 

I also make a point to give my teen healthy, special food and warm or cold seasonal drinks during classes. It might not be at an outdoor café, cozy coffeehouse, or elegant restaurant, but the goal is the same  -- a special time set apart to focus on the shared journey for truth, beauty, and wisdom.

 

I'm an INTJ - which can be like the worst personality in the world for other people to be around.   :(  We can literally work ourselves and everyone around us to death.  One of my dds, who is an extrovert, came to me crying a couple years ago with some legitimate criticisms about what it's like to live with me.  

 

I made huge changes.   :D  I was already on that path anyway, but it was taking me a while to get there.  One of the changes was making things special (this was her #1 complaint).  Slowing down.  Doing less and actually enjoying things.  Under-scheduling school instead of over-scheduling it (boy, is that one difficult).  Cutting down on activities (another really difficult one).  Balance.  Cooking as many meals as we can together (instead of scrounging for something on the way out to an activity).  Saying "yes" more instead of everything being "no".

 

Modeling a healthy lifestyle and balance is so important.  We did not get that when we were kids.  I think that is one of the most useful life skills.

[Guest]

I get tomatoes thrown at me every time I say this, but honestly, seeing the end results (in my personal life) of pushing kids too hard has caused me to relax, put on my horse blinders and keep moving forward.  *shrug*. 

 

Our generation can be very hyper-competitive and comparison-driven (IMO).  It's weird when you step outside that box and look back.  I wish I could post some of the ideas/fears/plans I've heard at homeschool group get-togethers.   :svengo:   I mean, some of the younger parents are absolutely terrified their kids are going to fall behind and their expectations sound great on paper, but when you look at the *real kid*, they're just not realistic.

 

And it probably sounds like my kids are really behind and lazy when I describe our homeschool, but they're not.

 

Oh, well.   :tongue_smilie:  Just my opinion... 

 

This is why I like these Scholé threads. I am this little island unto myself IRL. I only this year, in my third year of homeschooling, have made friends with other homeschoolers. However their kids are all younger than mine, so most of my handwringing comes in when I spend to much time listening to the PS parent crowd. My other friends who have kids around high school age lean more towards the uber competitive as you mention, "we must get scholarships so let's be in 27 different extracurriculars," type of parents. I mean, for crying out loud I know people that won't let their kids attend the local public high school that allows kids to earn an AA while there, because it would look bad on their college application to go to a tech type school.  :confused1:

 

So I totally get what you are saying, and I try and keep my blinders on. It's just hard when you are surrounded by people that either don't understand where you're coming from, or even worse, clearly oppose where you're coming from. It's easier when they're little and don't talk to their friends about what classes they're taking I think. Or in my case, get quizzed by other parents on what classes their taking. So this threads and my books are where I get my perspective checked. :) 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 

So I totally get what you are saying, and I try and keep my blinders on. It's just hard when you are surrounded by people that either don't understand where you're coming from, or even worse, clearly oppose where you're coming from. It's easier when they're little and don't talk to their friends about what classes they're taking I think. Or in my case, get quizzed by other parents on what classes their taking. 

 

 

The blinders are tricky because I want to be sure I can see the lay of the land -- all the potential dangers and all the hidden gems. At the same time, we are always either doing too much or too little, depending on who is doing the asking. We are in an area where college in high school is a norm -- even for public school kids. They take college classes in the summer or on top of their reg classes or they are part of a formal DE program. Alternatively, they are in an IB program.

 

To some people, only taking a couple APs every year is tsk tsk worthy. Then according to other people, I'm expecting way too much and pushing way too hard and falling into the AP trap. I can't win. So I carry my blinders at the ready. Sometimes I put them on a little too early and regret not knowing about or trying various opportunities. Sometimes I put them on too late and spend a sleepless night wondering if we're doing too little or too much. Then I remember to look at the teen in front of me, and I'm reminded of the only person who matters in the discussion. One student's sour patch is another student's sweet spot.

 

(Which is all fine and good and very easy to say on a bright, sunny morning. It's much more confusing and far more difficult on a dark, stormy, sleepless night...  ;) )

Edited April 12, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 

"Teaching from a state of rest"  is an oft-repeated phrase in scholé circles. What does "teaching from rest" mean to you?

It means rest as opposed to anxiety, not rest as opposed to work. For me, that comes from understanding what is most important and sticking to that.  

 

 

 

This is worth repeating. I've been thinking lately just how much hard work "teaching from rest" involves. 

 

We are in a relatively good place right now. We have moments of panic and stress, but overall there is a sense of rest. Not rest from work, but rest from anxiety. Looking back, there have been years and years with hours and hours of research, planning, etc. that led to this point.  There is a cycle in each year of first planning and then the "teaching from rest" that comes from well-laid plans.  Work and then enjoying the fruits of the labor. Each new day and season has a similar cycle.

 

In some ways I am grateful for some of the anxiety I felt before each new school year because it prompted me to research and plan. As I mentioned in an earlier post, a certain amount of stress is good, it prompts growth. If I were always to "rest" as opposed to work, I would end up with much more anxiety than if I were to work and then "rest" in knowing I've done the research and made solid plans, therefore there is no need to be anxious.

 

I sometimes wonder if  "rest" is actually an unfortunate word choice. It can be so easily misinterpreted.

[Bluegoat]

When I hear about the idea of teaching from a state of rest, I think of the idea of being in a place of faith or trust. 

 

You don't have to cover everything, no one does.

 

You don't have to ensure you child stays on "the right path'.  Be it academically or spiritually.

 

You don't have to trick or force learning.

 

You don't need gimmicks.

 

It is the nature of children to learn, and catch hold of ideas.  It is the nature of all people as moral persons to work out what they think and feel about these ideas.  Our job as a teacher is to introduce the child o the idea, and facilitate.  But, we only become anxious if we begin to think we can take over the learner's part of the task, or that the student does not have the ability to do what is needed.

[Bluegoat]

I think for hs age kids, that's going to go directly back to how to avoid technical requirements for graduation taking over.

[2_girls_mommy]

Haven't read the book. And it can't look different for me for high school as opposed to younger, because I have all ages going on. But I will say for me, it has to be actual literal rest. 

 

We go go go a lot. That is my personality. We are involved in all kinds of communities- homeschool groups, church, scouts, dance, family. They are all important to me. So we are on the go a lot. 

 

Teaching from rest for me actually means that I need to make sure I get my rest. I have a set schedule for school and activities. If my kids want to go to dance, then things need to get done in the mornings. I need a full night's sleep at a decent time. I need a somewhat clean and decluttered house (somewhat. My standards are probably a lot lower than non homeschoolers. But they are above some for sure. I have my routines for picking up and the areas that I clean clean daily. ) Sometimes it means I do go to bed without getting the dishes done because I can't move another second, but I will get that full night of rest then I will start the morning fresh and get it done. Or sometimes dh will do it for me after I am in bed. He knows what I want done to barely get by, and if it's not getting done, he will step in. 

 

So literal rest and alone time each afternoon or evening is critical to me. 

 

The rest- I schedule fun things. We do art. We love nature and walks and crafts and reading aloud and all of the things that are important to me in our school. I don't stop that stuff because dd14 is starting high school. I only have her in my full time care for a few more years. I want them to be good years. So we will keep up the reading together and arts and church and field trips and all of that. And we do our bookwork on our timed schedule the days and hours that we are home and just keep moving forward. 

[Rosyl]

​To rest from work and work from rest is my goal. 

 

 

My definition of rest is absence of fatigue and to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

 

I actually hadn't labeled the emotional rest as free from anxiety of choosing the right curriculum and stressing about the requirements and being worried about doing everything right and making sure there are no gaps.  It is, but I hadn't labeled it that way.

 

I want to enjoy my difficult teens and they wear me out mentally and they wear me out physically when I have to drive them places and they wear me down.

 

Mentally:  I take about an hour a day when  I check out and don't answer any questions or talk to anyone. I also try to fill up with topics that interest me. 

 

Physically:  I make sure I have enough rest via sleep.  Now, these teens test my patience and challenge me which cause me to feel anger so I also make sure I exercise intensively to release that tension.

 

Spiritually/emotionally:  I (recognize and attempt to) throw off every sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the race set out before me.  This would be those feeling of inadequacy and fear. 

 

This is the first year I will not end up exhausted at the end of the school year.  I made every effort to get rest for the last 2 years.  I stopped when I needed to stop, I slept when I needed to sleep, I rested my mind from over analysis, and I exercised to keep the peace. :)

 

I also added in fun and artsy/craftsy stuff for me along with time to just BE.  I think this made a huge difference in this school year. 

[Rosyl]

To elaborate on the work from a place of rest... The idea is to be well rested enough that the work you have to do comes more easily and takes less effort because you are well rested.

Edited April 13, 2017 by Rosyl

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I keep thinking of what Rosyl posted --  "To rest from work and work from rest is my goal."  It sums up so much!

 

I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on teaching from a state of rest and would loved to hear any more thoughts anyone has, so please feel free to add them. 

 

 

Meanwhile...

 

We are looking for a volunteer to host next week's Soirée. Do you have a question you'd like to ask the group or something that is working for you that you'd like to share or a topic you'd like to discuss -- either this coming week or another week? Send me a PM and let me know so we can start a rotation. It's good to get fresh ideas and varying viewpoints each week. It doesn't need to be anything elaborate -- just posting a topic or asking a question if fine. Whether you've been doing this for a day or a decade, we'd love to hear your perspective!