Diagnosis. Just poured my third glass of wine.

[popmom]

We had our feedback meeting today with the psych-D. Diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder and dyscalculia.

 

I feel completely drained.

 

I don't feel like asking questions. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm just exhausted. I wasn't expecting to feel this way. I thought I would be more sad. I thought I would be motivated to do something. Instead I just want to have my wine and do some online window shopping--fantasize about my next vacation. 

 

I just wanted to share this because y'all have been so helpful to me in getting to this point. I'm still trying to process everything in this lengthy report, but I'll be back soon--when I have the mental energy to make a plan and ask questions. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Guest]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Take your time to process. There's no right or

wrong way to react. Everyone reacts differently.

Edited April 7, 2017 by Guest

[Plink]

I takes while to fully process big news. Allow yourself time to grieve/avoid/rant or whatever else you feel. We have all been there, and we will be here when you need us.

 

((Hugs))

[LifeLovePassion]

:grouphug:

[emzhengjiu]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Guest]

It's okay to feel this way. Truly.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

What the others have said.  Take time.  Take a lot of time.  Then take some more.  When the written report comes in set it aside for a bit.  Live and survive day to day for a bit.  Focus on anything that might bring you a good distraction.  Then when you feel yourself coming up for air, skim the report.   Take some deep breaths.  Run off to do other things.  Let it percolate without stressing out over details.  At some point reread it with a more critical eye as to what to do next.  

 

For now, though, just be. Just focus on breathing and existing and taking some time.   :grouphug:

[PeterPan]

It's normal to feel this way. I don't remember how I felt when we got our diagnosis. We had such a protracted process, I think I was sort of flat. When my most indulgent grandma died years ago, I remember eating an entire pan of brownies. Like seriously, the entire pan. At the time I had health problems and really wasn't supposed to be doing that. The nutritionist was like DON'T CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE A HEADACHE AND FEEL TERRIBLE, lol. But it was a way to handle the grief. 

 

What you're feeling is normal. Hopefully you'll be able to move beyond this coping mechanism pretty soon, because it actually is a thing, alcoholism in autism parent communities. So it's not the mechanism you want long-term, any more than me and my entire pan of brownies. But for the night, it's normal.

 

Do you have someone you're going to talk to today?

Edited April 7, 2017 by OhElizabeth

[Julie of KY]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Crimson Wife]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

With both of the major diagnoses, my first reaction was denial and it took additional concurring evaluations for me to accept the accuracy. So you're ahead of me in that respect.

 

The "5 stages of grief" may be a cliche but often accurate. You will adjust to your "new normal" in time, really and truly :)

[popmom]

Thanks. We aren't quite finished with the eval process. We are being referred for OT and speech/language--for handwriting, stuttering, and pragmatic speech. She performed well enough (average) on the GORT-V and the WJ-IV in reading that she doesn't have a learning disability, but all the dyslexia red flags are still there and were noted in the report. I'll talk to the speech/language therapist about that. 

 

I'm less numb today. That's good. Even though we only have the two diagnoses, there are other "clinically significant" areas of concern. I'm realizing that I may have to completely rethink all the curricula that we are using and my approach to teaching. My plan is to think through one subject at a time. I'm sure I'll have questions for the forum as I wade through all this. 

 

I'm glad it's Friday.

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks. We aren't quite finished with the eval process. We are being referred for OT and speech/language--for handwriting, stuttering, and pragmatic speech. She performed well enough (average) on the GORT-V and the WJ-IV in reading that she doesn't have a learning disability, but all the dyslexia red flags are still there and were noted in the report. I'll talk to the speech/language therapist about that. 

 

I'm less numb today. That's good. Even though we only have the two diagnoses, there are other "clinically significant" areas of concern. I'm realizing that I may have to completely rethink all the curricula that we are using and my approach to teaching. My plan is to think through one subject at a time. I'm sure I'll have questions for the forum as I wade through all this. 

 

I'm glad it's Friday.

Glad you are less numb today and that you consider that a good thing.  :)

 

I wouldn't even tackle curricula at the moment unless brainstorming/researching gives you a feeling of doing something productive.  I wouldn't purchase anything yet, though.  

 

I'm glad its Friday too.  I've been sick for nearly two weeks.  Ready for a nap.  LOL

[PeterPan]

You're allowed to start with small changes. You could start with one small intervention and slowly ramp up and modify as you learn things.

[kbutton]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Guest]

nm

Edited August 17, 2017 by Guest

[Guest]

Thanks. We aren't quite finished with the eval process. We are being referred for OT and speech/language--for handwriting, stuttering, and pragmatic speech.

Good to hear they are already giving you some direction in putting a plan in place. You will not believe how many people don't even get that! Glad you seem to have thorough professionals on your corner :)

[Storygirl]

:grouphug:

 

Evaluation appointments always make me feel worn out and weary. I'm sure it''s normal to expend a lot of emotional energy. At our first one, for DS12, we did not receive the diagnosis that we were anticipating and instead received a huge amount of unexpected diagnoses and information. It was overwhelming. As I walked out of the office, I turned to DH and said, "I thought it would feel different to have the answers we've been wanting for so long. Instead, we now have a whole new list of questions to pursue."

 

The NP gave us a big list of resources to consider, and there was just no way to process and work through all of that at once. So we picked one or two areas and started with them. Three years later, we've come a long way. Not on completing things on the list (because the list changes but is still always there), but with making progress, moving forward, learning more, discovering more holes, finding new kinds of help, and so on.

 

It's a journey. I thought the diagnoses would put an end to all the things I had been questioning and trying to figure out myself (for years), but it didn't feel like an end at all. It was a beginning.

 

Everyone will process differently. I'm glad you have some answers, even though they are hard.

:grouphug:

[Guest]

nm

Edited April 8, 2017 by Guest

[displace]

(hugs)

 

Diagnosis day is hard, even if it's helpful.  If you take summers off, maybe you can use the time to plan next steps.  

[Guest]

What you're feeling is normal. Hopefully you'll be able to move beyond this coping mechanism pretty soon, because it actually is a thing, alcoholism in autism parent communities.

Is this a personal observation from people where you live or is there a study you can point me to? I didn't find anything on this after several searches. Just curious!