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Ticked over "comfortable" and "money bags" remark


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I am just ticked. And this has gone on before. This happened today, but I will give examples of it happening before.


My sister has to have new luxury SUVs (she refuses to drive anything older than 2-3 years so she leases). She also must have her fast food and her vacations. Her children had iphones by grade school. Her children NEED brand new clothes all the time, every holiday every school year, every change of seasons. They even get brand new coats every year, even though we live in the south and they barely get used as it is. She and her husband make close to what my husband makes, but less, but close. My husband and I drive old cars, got married at the JP, and our children do not have any sort of cell phones, not even the 15 yr old. Our older children do not own winder coats and our younger children wear handmedowns, that were not even new when we acquired them. My husband and I made paying debt a priority. So we do not take vacations or buy new clothes and we drive our cars for a long time. One is coming in on 200K miles. The other one is 13 yrs old, but was just a commuter car so had less miles. Ok, so my sister calls me "Miss Moneybags" and tells me how easy I have it and I should HAVE to get a job and it is just wrong that I am not working. Ummm..I do not spend like her. AND, she keeps her student loans on forebearance just because she does not want to pay. Oh, and now she tells me she is defaulting. 


It is about priorities! Our mortgage is paid off because instead of eating out or getting my nails done or buying the newest and greatest smart phone, we rounded up our payments on the mortgage. And everytime husband got a bonus, we did not go shopping or eating out, we applied it toward our mortgage.


Now, I get told today by a complete stranger who was just there when at the park and visiting that my life is so "comfortable" because my house is paid off. (the course of the conversation had led to stuff about Dave Ramsey and such, this person seemed to not even know who Dave Ramsey was). The person went on to tell me that I need to get a job, even if it is for minimum wage at Walmart, because it is not right that I am not working when my husband is out of work. 


I actually tore in to the women, never raising my voice, and pointed out her nicely done nails and nice phone and her nice clothes and gee, her hair looks great too, and all that comes with a cost and her financial priorities are not mine and perhaps if she were to cut out the extras, which expensive hair dressers, color jobs, and manicures are not neccesities, they are just wants, then perhaps, her home could be paid off too.


Really..it just ticks me off when some entitled brat has the nerve to act as if I was just handed anything, while they clearly are spenders and the product of their own choices! I am well aware many people have simply not earned enough to be able to pay off a house, and that is fine too. But when someone who looks 15 yrs younger than me and clearly is living that life style has the nerve to say anything at all to me....It just really bothers me. I know I shouldn't let it get to me. But I am sick of the aggressions toward at home parents and home schooling parents as if we are non-essentual and need to "just get a job." I HAVE a job! <scream!>


edited to add: an older relative told me last month or the month before that I need to get a real job instead of the volunteer work I am doing. The fact that I continue to do volunteer work was brought up. She asked me what I was doing with it, and then asked if it paid. When I said no, it is volunteer, she said I need to get a real job and stop messing around with that stuff. 



I don't know you, and I don't know if you've been on the boards a long time or not, but I have noticed your posts over the past several months.  Many are like this one.  You seem to have quite a lot of anger and bitterness in your life right now.  Have you noticed this as a pattern?  Is it a new pattern for you or something you've been dealing with for a long time?  Have you considered helping yourself in overcoming whatever it is that brings that out in you?  You might not be interested in spending money on counseling, but is there a pastor or someone else you could turn to for some advice, relief, help?  I think you could really use a break from all that anger and bitterness.  It must not be a very happy way to live.

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