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Why is everyone a life coach?


Squawky Acres
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I hate to say that I actually know people who are getting certified to be a life coach, so there seems to be some scamming of the trainers, I mean, training and certification process.

 

There is some organization, I don't know the name, but it seems cult-like and a bunch of local homeschoolers are involved. It involves paying to go to these seminars where you pay to be 'broken down' and then somehow learn to rebuild yourself to meet your true potential? The people who participate for a while call themselves life coaches or something similar.

 

This was a few years ago and I don't know if any of the participants are still doing it. I quietly cut off contact with those folks, but I heard stories...a LOT of stories.

Landmark?

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I have a lot of strong feelings about people who would try to sell me a jar of chemicals with the same ingredient list as the stuff I can get at Walmart or target for 1/5 of the price.  But they, my feelings, might be offensive and in the end who am I to judge?  Just don't expect me to keep a straight face when they start their sale's pitch.

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Not addressing the coaching - anyone can call themselves a coach. But the wise, experienced homeschool mom who is now charging for her time and expertise ? I see nothing wrong with that.

 

I'd consider that to be 'homeschool consultancy' and why wouldn't we show we value experienced help by paying for it ?

Gotta say, I totally agree here. And if (ahem, dipping toe in) if she were a man and say was an exec in a big corp that you knew from church or another social connection and you wanted some business advice from him...he might graciously meet with you once but if you run into him again and ask him a brief question he might "hint" at his "free advice" even though your families are supposed to be friends and he "could" just see it as mentoring. Just sayin'.

 

Good for the successful, experienced homeschool mom for valuing herself so much.

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Not addressing the coaching - anyone can call themselves a coach. But the wise, experienced homeschool mom who is now charging for her time and expertise ? I see nothing wrong with that.

 

I'd consider that to be 'homeschool consultancy' and why wouldn't we show we value experienced help by paying for it ?

 

Oh absolutely.  There is another experienced homeschooling mom in my town who does portfolio reviews and tutoring, but also charges a very reasonable hourly rate for you to come over to her house, browse through her extensive collection of curriculum, and talk to her about homeschooling.  She may even lend you some of her books.  It is absolutely worth it for her time and expertise, but I wouldn't call her a life coach.  I think she is a "homeschooling consultant," or something a little less lofty.  

 

The "life coach" mom posts motivational slogans about realizing your potential and living each day to the fullest.  Her life works for her, and she is a good homeschool mom with some good advice -- but like most of us, she neglects certain things in order to succeed at others; and they are not the tradeoffs I would make.

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Gotta say, I totally agree here. And if (ahem, dipping toe in) if she were a man and say was an exec in a big corp that you knew from church or another social connection and you wanted some business advice from him...he might graciously meet with you once but if you run into him again and ask him a brief question he might "hint" at his "free advice" even though your families are supposed to be friends and he "could" just see it as mentoring. Just sayin'.

 

Good for the successful, experienced homeschool mom for valuing herself so much.

You know, I don't guess I'd fault someone for becoming a curriculum coach, if s/he had lots of experience and some actual professional training with regard to learning styles, learning disabilities, that sort of thing. However, I am thankful for the *many* older, wiser, experienced homeschool moms who graciously counseled me and answered my questions based on friendship and the desire to bless and encourage a new generation. I imagine there are a thousand such women and men here on the forums. What if all of them started charging for every answered question? What if they stopped sharing their wisdom gratis? Our community would disappear.

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You know, I don't guess I'd fault someone for becoming a curriculum coach, if s/he had lots of experience and some actual professional training with regard to learning styles, learning disabilities, that sort of thing. However, I am thankful for the *many* older, wiser, experienced homeschool moms who graciously counseled me and answered my questions based on friendship and the desire to bless and encourage a new generation. I imagine there are a thousand such women and men here on the forums. What if all of them started charging for every answered question? What if they stopped sharing their wisdom gratis? Our community would disappear.

 

Yes, I kind of thought that this is what homeschooling moms do for each other.  I asked all of the annoying questions of more experienced moms when I was starting out, and now I lend out my materials and help out newer homeschooling moms.

 

But I also see how women are encouraged to give out their help and experience for free -- just to be kind and helpful, while men are often encouraged to get paid for it, or at least trade it for other things that would help them get ahead.  I do see that angle.

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I can see a homeschooling coach. I can even see life coach. Sometimes you know what you want in general but you don't have time to figure out the resources or structure the transcript and someone helps you and it's a value add and you pay for it.

 

The thing that annoys me is that ... oh, I don't know--maybe the life coach thing bothers me because of my experience I posted upthread. I had a friendship that disappeared because of it. That's probably it.

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Multi-level marketing businesses are taking over my mom friends around here. If I tell a friend she looks great, she tells me she is a Beachbody coach and wants to sign me on as a "client" and sell me expensive Shakology shakes and fitness websites. If another friend looks glowing and healthy, it's because of Rodan and Fields skincare products, which have changed her life. If another friend's children are never sick, it is all because of essential oils -- which she wants to sell me. Someone else's great sense of style is all because of LuLaRoe, and I find myself added to her list for online "parties." There is even a wise, experienced homeschool mom from one of our co-ops, who used to be a good source of advice -- only now she is a "life coach" and charges for consultations and seminars. I feel as if friendship is being commoditized, and I can't even have a conversation with certain friends without worrying there might be some charge or some product to be promoted.

 

The "life coach" thing is particularly confusing. How does one become qualified as a life coach? Would I ever feel confident enough in the way I was living my life that I felt I could sign on clients and help them live theirs? What happened to just mentoring younger mothers or helping out friends?

I haven't read any replies, but THANK YOU for getting this out there. I just don't get it either. Edited by TX native
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Not addressing the coaching - anyone can call themselves a coach. But the wise, experienced homeschool mom who is now charging for her time and expertise ? I see nothing wrong with that.

 

I'd consider that to be 'homeschool consultancy' and why wouldn't we show we value experienced help by paying for it ?

 

Sadie, I think you should be a life coach. Seriously.

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I know this is happening, but I'm so grateful to my friends and acquaintances (mainly on FB) who do NOT put me or anyone else through high pressure crap!  I do see a lot of life coach stuff in my feed on FB that are NOT friends, though, and I wonder how on earth I'm getting targeted for it because my life is SO stinking together.  ;)

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Landmark?

 

Yes!

 

I know nothing about it, other than it sort of ripped through town and all of a sudden a bunch of people were trying to convince other people to join etc. The whole vibe totally freaked me out. I stayed very quiet and sort of backed away whenever it was a topic of conversation. There are acquaintances that I started avoiding if I saw them in the supermarket. I just got a very bad feeling about the whole thing.

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Yes!

 

I know nothing about it, other than it sort of ripped through town and all of a sudden a bunch of people were trying to convince other people to join etc. The whole vibe totally freaked me out. I stayed very quiet and sort of backed away whenever it was a topic of conversation. There are acquaintances that I started avoiding if I saw them in the supermarket. I just got a very bad feeling about the whole thing.

 

It looks like it might be the next generation of EST - I thought that "movement" was dead. It's on the cult-list of some countries, apparently. Creepy.

 

ETA: removed because I'm not sure and I don't have time to research ATM. 

Edited by 8circles
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Well, she showed-up but didn't wait for us to show up so we could "do life together" so she totally did it wrong.

Hey, you're right!!! Maybe we should be her life coaches. :hurray:

 

She needs us. And we'll be there for her.

 

Don't forget to tell her we accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and PayPal.

 

Because life doesn't come cheap. ;)

 

 

(Edited for typos -- I'm telling you, my iPad is out to get me today!)

Edited by Catwoman
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Yes!

 

I know nothing about it, other than it sort of ripped through town and all of a sudden a bunch of people were trying to convince other people to join etc. The whole vibe totally freaked me out. I stayed very quiet and sort of backed away whenever it was a topic of conversation. There are acquaintances that I started avoiding if I saw them in the supermarket. I just got a very bad feeling about the whole thing.

IKWYM. My hair stylist is a devotee. She hasn't been high pressure about it, though.

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I am with Creekland, Jenn in Florida, Lady Florida, and have to say I haven't met or heard about life coaches.  I have heard about ADHD coaches though I haven't met one.  They basically try to help ADHD people to organize and keep track of their time.  Actually, I have met one.  He is at my daughter's college and runs counseling sessions and a weekly group session. My daughter has gone in the past though this last semester it conflicts with her class.  I can see the value of someone helping a person with ADHD or executive function deficits try to get organized.  But this kind of life coaching doesn't seem to be what you are talking about.

 

I hate MLM stuff.  One friend was miffed that few people went to her jewelry party at some cafe.  I didn't go because I hate to be placed in a situation where I am expected to buy.  I have been to Pampered Chef and Longaberger Basket parties in the distant past but I was actually interested in those products. Others not so much and currently I don't need anything.  I have one friend who sells essential oils and also is a rabid antivaccine person.  I just ignore those posts except occasionally correct the anti-vaccine stuff.    Another friend has a 'secret' way to make a lot of money.  When I knew her IRL, it was some kind of strange juice that was supposed to do great things.  She gave me a bottle to try and I didn't even like the juice very much.  Certainly didn't believe in magic healing powers though some juices or fruits do help with some body functions.  Again I ignore posts of great money opportunities.

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Homeschool consultants are, in my experience,  usually people who have created a product  you can peruse-  A curriculum, a blog, a book,  a podcast- and have turned themselves into a brand.  Julie Bogart and Sarah Mackenzie are the model, but, even in my little world, I know 4 women who have homeschooling consultancies.  They are all experienced homeschoolers.

 

I don't see life coaches in the same vein.  It is basically an unlicensed therapist who got into "anyone who pays me is qualified!" seminars. Similar to people who go to seminars to teach you to become a rieki healer.  The professional in these scenarios is, of course, the person making $$ by running seminars.

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I've managed to avoid LuLaRoe by only wearing dresses--whew! Dodged that bullet. And everyone knows my stance on Amway/EO/Pampered Chef/Classical Conversations/Tupperware/Church of Christ or you're going to hell, so I've not been bothered in years. Not familiar with Landmark, but I think that's been a blessing!

Lularoe makes dresses too! Watch out!
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I am working on certification as a health coach, which I suppose is a variant of life coaching.  In those who treat health coaching as a profession, there is a group working hard to develop professional standards and certification. I am getting my certification through a local university. 

 

Because there is no certification, anyone can hang out their shingle. (Note: it was within my lifetime that one needed to be certified to provide any kind of counseling services in our state.) 

 

Within the realm of the people in health coaching who are professionally minded, there is a code of ethics that forbids health coaching among friends and family---just as there are lines in professional counseling in those realms. 

 

AND---here is most important---health coaching is not about giving advise.  (The only time coaches are supposed to give advice is if they have an additional credential such as a degree in nutrition, exercise physiology, etc.) So what is the point of a health coach if they don't give advise? How many people already know what they should do (eat less junk, eat more fruits and veges, exercise more) and don't do what they already know and which part of them wants to do? That's where coaching comes in. It's about supporting the person as they develop their goals, helping them identify the obstacles that knock them off track, and helping to identify strategies that get them back on track. A health coach can point clients to information from reliable sources and is taught to refer for anything outside their level of expertise.  It is not friendship.; It is very focused listening, questioning, reflection. The client is assumed to know themselves best.  As part of the certification process, we were encouraged to have a partner so that each of us was a coach to the other and also was a client to the other. It was incredibly helpful having a health coach and I am healthy! But there were some goals in another area of life that impinged on my health through stress that I was able to tackle that I really get caught in a swamp in on my own.  And there are no products to sell.

 

Beachbody does have some accountability, support, etc. but it is not the same thing as health coaching but is built around selling product. Their exercise DVDs are good and their portion control idea is helpful to many people. The coach I know is supportive of me in my own journey which doesn't rely on her products and she's never tried to talk me into it. But of course she does pitch her product. It has transformed her health and she wants to pass it on. 

 

 

 

 

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I was in the pediatrician's waiting room and this young mom with a baby started telling everyone in the waiting room about her wonderful LuLaRue (or whatever the heck it is called) business and begging us to all watch her podcast of her unpacking her boxes of product that evening.  She made such a pest of herself.  Some woman recognized her from high school and tried to have a non-LuLaRue conversation with her but nothing doing.  I cannot imagine knowing someone like this IRL.

 

 

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I'm trying to lose weight and using a health coach. It really just involves regular phone calls to talk about what's working, what's causing problems, and he gives me encouragement, recipes, and things to try. My family jokes that he's probably some overweight guy living on a couch in his parent's basement and eating pizza while we talk. I prefer to believe he's some hot, buff, young man who works out every day and always eats healthy food. :thumbup1: Seriously though, he is a registered dietitian and some of his advice is helping me lose weight. 

 

I only know of one person who considers herself a life coach and she also sells essential oils. She's a homeschool mom I met and we had many interesting talks while our children were in a class. She never tried to sell me anything and I only know about her life coach classes and oils because of occasional posts on FB. This post reminded me that many of our talks were about a life problem she's currently experiencing and one I've been through. I gave her encouragement and told her my experiences and knowledge. Maybe I should have been charging her! :lol:

 

I would only consider a life coach who had an amazing life. Maybe someone who was bored, overweight, lonely, and poor and then made changes that allowed them to be healthy and fit and financially healthy while doing things they loved and spending time with people they love. That person *might* have some valuable advice. If the changes included dumping your spouse, declaring bankruptcy to eliminate debt, and weight loss surgery, the advice wouldn't be valuable to me.

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I was in the pediatrician's waiting room and this young mom with a baby started telling everyone in the waiting room about her wonderful LuLaRue (or whatever the heck it is called) business and begging us to all watch her podcast of her unpacking her boxes of product that evening.  She made such a pest of herself.  Some woman recognized her from high school and tried to have a non-LuLaRue conversation with her but nothing doing.  I cannot imagine knowing someone like this IRL.

 

Yeah, I was tagged in a former friend's video of her unpacking her LulaRoe merchandise. I was like, what the heck? I'm supposed to watch you stock your shelves? Who does that?

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I wouldn't mind a parenting tweens/teens coach about now though......

I doubt you'll find one, as no one in the history of mankind has mastered that skill. Lol

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I doubt you'll find one, as no one in the history of mankind has mastered that skill. Lol

 

Yeah, my lifeline is just remembering that my mom lived through six of us.  I should probably start planning the party I'm gonna throw for myself the day after my youngest's 18th birthday.  :P

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Everyone is a life coach because it's easy to hang out a shingle, claim you are some expert, and make money off of something not licensed or regulated.

 

And I'm sure that the life coaches want to keep it this way, especially in the US. Can you imagine the potential legal battles that could result? There's already too many people blaming God for all the wrong in their lives, potentially they could start blaming their life coaches and sue them. ;)

Edited by wintermom
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I wonder if so many folks need a life coach because they've always been led step by step with what to do and never had to plan/plot/follow through on things themselves?  Schools and colleges give rubrics now - do this and get that.  Are we training away our ability to figure out the steps ourselves?

 

Just musing.

 

I know there's no way I'd ever let anyone else be "in charge" of my life more than just friendly advice or sharing thoughts/articles.  I like the Hive for that reason.  Google is my other source for info when I need it.  ;)

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ps  I blame the rise in MLM to the lack of decently paying jobs, so the need for more income, and the desperateness of many.  I'm not sure there's a larger percentage of those in that line of work because it was their dream job.  A few, maybe, but not the majority.  It reminds me of those who work in call centers.  Usually they need the money enough to do it.

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ps  I blame the rise in MLM to the lack of decently paying jobs, so the need for more income, and the desperateness of many.  I'm not sure there's a larger percentage of those in that line of work because it was their dream job.  A few, maybe, but not the majority.  It reminds me of those who work in call centers.  Usually they need the money enough to do it.

 

The people I know who are doing this are using their earnings to buy the same or other marketed stuff people don't need.  And who have a history of going overboard on spending.

 

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I have a relative-in-law who is a life and business coach. He has been in jail twice, for drugs and for a s&x offense. He has been bankrupt multiple times and has a number of failed businesses...

 

He's been scamming people ever since.

One of the big churches near us had a pastor like this. So many people were shocked to find out he was embezzling the money they were donating. I mean I realize people can, and do, overcome obstacles and go on to be wonderful people, but this guy just had that "slime" aura. I wasn't really sure why anyone was surprised he was a liar and a thief.

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I wonder if so many folks need a life coach because they've always been led step by step with what to do and never had to plan/plot/follow through on things themselves?  Schools and colleges give rubrics now - do this and get that.  Are we training away our ability to figure out the steps ourselves?

 

Just musing.

 

I know there's no way I'd ever let anyone else be "in charge" of my life more than just friendly advice or sharing thoughts/articles.  I like the Hive for that reason.  Google is my other source for info when I need it.   ;)

 

Interesting. Hasn't SWB said something similar regarding the proliferation of homeschool how-to materials? We tend to think there are professionals out there who know the tricks, so we better defer to them or risk utter failure. When, really, what works for one family isn't necessarily the answer for the next family (as any glance at any thread on the curriculum board will attest). 

 

I understand why people seek some kind of short-term pseudo-professional guidance on issues that don't come naturally and for which the amount of information "out there" can seem overwhelming. I'm thinking of budgeting, career counseling, nutrition/meal planning, home organization, for example. But overall "Life Coaching"? I can't imagine. It seems that's for people far less private than I am, for one thing. And for people who haven't found their own online Hive Mind. (Really, is there anything that hasn't been/couldn't be figured out here?)

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I wonder if part of the life coach appeal is that while I might ask a friend for advice, at some point, I'm going to feel like it's too much, like I might be bugging my friend or something.  But if I'm paying someone to help me examine my options and think outside the box and such, I might feel more open to calling anytime or asking whatever was on my mind.  Maybe it's just the appeal of having someone detached from the situation.

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I don't really get the homeschool mommy blogger thing where their niche is the "I'm a mess like you! My house is covered in laundry, my kids are behind, and I haven't showered in two days!" But then next thing you know they have a book, a podcast, and a homeschool- related business. What? Why would you take on all that stuff if you're really a mess? And if you're not, please stip pretending to be one as a marketing schtick.

Because one check mark isn't enough...

like like like like

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ps  I blame the rise in MLM to the lack of decently paying jobs, so the need for more income, and the desperateness of many.  I'm not sure there's a larger percentage of those in that line of work because it was their dream job.  A few, maybe, but not the majority.  It reminds me of those who work in call centers.  Usually they need the money enough to do it.

 

It is a dream job in the sense that you have no boss, you do it in your PJs ,from home, on your own time.   Dream job right there.

 

I have worked in a call center, in college, doing surveys.  It was not a fun job but it paid the bills

The MLM difference is monetizing relationship with friends and family.   I can't get behind that.  At the call center I had to work fixed hours, for a boss, it kind of stunk, but at least I wasn't needling people who know me. Putting up photoshopped photos - or doing a "before" of me without making and "after" with me in great lighting - or putting my kids pictures online. Remove the wall between public and business to make friends feel like need to cheer you on.  I'm not into that.

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I think MLM can deliver products of value.  The entire problem I have with it is that for too many people it leads them to *use* people, and to become so absorbed in the MLM that they forget the real relationships they have.  It's almost like being in a cult for profit.  That is truly the thing that bugs me.  

 

 

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I am working on certification as a health coach, which I suppose is a variant of life coaching.  In those who treat health coaching as a profession, there is a group working hard to develop professional standards and certification. I am getting my certification through a local university. 

 

Because there is no certification, anyone can hang out their shingle. (Note: it was within my lifetime that one needed to be certified to provide any kind of counseling services in our state.) 

 

Within the realm of the people in health coaching who are professionally minded, there is a code of ethics that forbids health coaching among friends and family---just as there are lines in professional counseling in those realms. 

 

AND---here is most important---health coaching is not about giving advise.  (The only time coaches are supposed to give advice is if they have an additional credential such as a degree in nutrition, exercise physiology, etc.) So what is the point of a health coach if they don't give advise? How many people already know what they should do (eat less junk, eat more fruits and veges, exercise more) and don't do what they already know and which part of them wants to do? That's where coaching comes in. It's about supporting the person as they develop their goals, helping them identify the obstacles that knock them off track, and helping to identify strategies that get them back on track. A health coach can point clients to information from reliable sources and is taught to refer for anything outside their level of expertise.  It is not friendship.; It is very focused listening, questioning, reflection. The client is assumed to know themselves best.  As part of the certification process, we were encouraged to have a partner so that each of us was a coach to the other and also was a client to the other. It was incredibly helpful having a health coach and I am healthy! But there were some goals in another area of life that impinged on my health through stress that I was able to tackle that I really get caught in a swamp in on my own.  And there are no products to sell.

 

Beachbody does have some accountability, support, etc. but it is not the same thing as health coaching but is built around selling product. Their exercise DVDs are good and their portion control idea is helpful to many people. The coach I know is supportive of me in my own journey which doesn't rely on her products and she's never tried to talk me into it. But of course she does pitch her product. It has transformed her health and she wants to pass it on. 

 

I agree with so much of this.  I have benefited from counselors in my day, and part of the reason is that they have taken this seriously enough to get credentialed, to really study it.  I think I could probably have gotten a lot of the info from books and so on, and helped myself, if I cared as much as they do about this stuff.  But I would rather stick a fork in my hand than read books about psychology or self-help.  So I am happy to pay someone who has taken the time to learn about these things, has studied, and had to work on a broad spectrum of topics under oversight to assume a broad range of understanding.  

 

I hire a counselor for the same reason I hire a bookkeeper.  I hate that stuff but sometimes I need it.  Thank God for these people.  

 

But as I would want a bookkeeper who has some good training and a good track record with other customers, so, too, would I want a counselor to have these things in their field. 

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I doubt you'll find one, as no one in the history of mankind has mastered that skill. Lol

 

I pretty much typed this and erased it earlier.

 

I think it's an art. One I have yet to master.

 

I am afraid that if I gave any advice about teens it would be "dangerous".  Teens seem to defy your best intentions and strategies.  Kids are more straightforward.

 

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