stephanier.1765 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Do you think pets really feel empathy for us when we are in pain? Not physical pain, well maybe physical pain, but mainly emotional pain. Yesterday Simon, one of our male cats, died. The day before I noticed he was snotty and having trouble breathing through all the snot so first thing yesterday morning I took him to the vet. They kept him so he could spend some time in their oxygen box and I picked him up at the end of the day. The vet said and I quote, "I think he will be fine." He died on the way home all alone in the back of my car in his carrier. I didn't put him in the front because of the damn air bags. Screw the air bags, he should have known someone was with him. When he meowed, I should have pulled over and held him or at the very least petted him and told him I loved him. He died in the two things he hated most, the carrier and the car. So I think one of our female cats knew what happened. She would run back and forth from the room we initially brought him into and the door but that's the most reaction from any of them I saw. During one point of the evening I was lying in the floor kind of half grieving and half playing with the other pets and they behaved as if it was any other normal day. I would have thought at the very least they would have been more cuddly with their humans because of the pain we were experiencing and displaying. Maybe they aren't as empathetic as I thought or maybe that's just not the relationship we have with them. I wonder is all. I'm not blaming them. I know this is a meandering post. I'm mad and sad. Why would the vet send us with an animal so fragile he couldn't last the 30 minute drive home? Why? Why charge us for medications that he will never take? Why? Why didn't I pet him when I picked him up instead of leaving him in his carrier? Why didn't I know it was worse? Why didn't I take him immediately the day before when I first noticed he was sick? At least this one I can answer, he had been through it before and antibiotics fixed him right up so I thought they would again. Thanks for letting me blather. I'm presently between friends so everyone else I can talk to about this is hurting too. I don't want to make them hurt more. Yesterday, digging his grave helped with some of the anger but not all. I don't know what to do about the sadness. Time I guess. Speaking of time, it was weird how yesterday I didn't want to go to bed. I didn't want to fall asleep on Simon's last day because then I would wake up to a day that never had that sweetie in it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleEJ Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so, so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyH in NC Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 So sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I am so very sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Some animals are empathetic and some are not, just like people. Simon knew you were in the car with him. He wasn't alone. He knew he was loved. There is no way you could have known what was going to happen. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time. It is not your fault. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 ^^^ what Mercy said. I have two dogs; one is very empathetic and emotionally "tuned in" to us, and the other is completely clueless. I could be sobbing with grief and one would come and lay her head in my lap and give me kisses, and the other would just be jumping around wanting treats and belly rubs. I understand why you feel like you should have been with your kitty when he died — I would be distraught, too. But there's really no way you could have known that would happen. I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Many, many (hugs). RIP Simon. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Try not to beat yourself up about not knowing how ill he was- your trained vet didn't catch it so you surely cannot be faulted for not knowing. I'm sorry. Edited March 22, 2017 by Annie G 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) Oh, I am so sorry. It is obvious that you were a good mom to your kitty. There was no way to know he wouldn't make it home. Think about all of the loving moments you were able to share with him over his lifetime, and be gentle with yourself. We lost a well-loved doggie last month. Over the course of a few weeks, our other dog became very depressed and would hardly eat or drink. We put her on antidepressants and they helped a lot. I think our pets all react differently, just like people do. One of my kids was devastated about our dog and the other (younger) was a little bummed but didn't cry at all. This same kid sobbed recently when her caterpillar died. So sorry for your loss. Edited March 22, 2017 by lovelearnandlive 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I'm so sorry about your kitty. :grouphug: As for empathy, more and more animal studies are showing that animals at times appear to act in the interest of other animals, both of their own species and different species. These actions range from rescuing other animals to comforting them, to grieving loss. We can only judge their actions through human understanding but it's not far fetched to believe that they can feel empathy. We already know many animals, especially other mammals, experience a range of emotions. So why not empathy too? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I'm sorry, how unexpected on top of it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I'm very sorry for your loss. My little dog hated going to the vet, but he always was happy when we left because he knew he was going home. Perhaps your kitty knew she was going home, too, and passed in peace. (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 So, so sorry for the loss of your sweet cat and for the way it happened. Please be gentle on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Your kitty knew that you loved him. You had absolutely no way of knowing that would happen, so please don't beat yourself up. Sometimes animals will be very stoic at the vet's office and not show how poorly they are feeling. Have you told the vet what happened? They may be willing to give you a refund for the medication. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 *hugs* None of this is your fault. You followed the vet's advice. The vet made a mistake - this might not even be their fault either. Sometimes, humans make mistakes. Your cat knew you loved him. I promise. He might not have understood why you put him in the carrier and in the car, but he knew you didn't plan to leave him there forever. He knew you were there for him, and you were near, and you would be with him soon. It didn't work out that way, but that's still not your fault. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Your kitty knew that you loved him. You had absolutely no way of knowing that would happen, so please don't beat yourself up. Sometimes animals will be very stoic at the vet's office and not show how poorly they are feeling. Have you told the vet what happened? They may be willing to give you a refund for the medication. No, because I'm mad. I know it's illogical to be mad at them so I'm keeping my distance. No way to say something I'll regret that way. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel up to it. It's amazing how exhausted I feel today. You would think I ran a marathon yesterday. Thanks for all the replies. They are kind and they do help. I wish my Surface Pro would let me "like" posts but for some odd reason it won't. So consider all your posts liked. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Do you think pets really feel empathy for us when we are in pain? Not physical pain, well maybe physical pain, but mainly emotional pain. Yesterday Simon, one of our male cats, died. The day before I noticed he was snotty and having trouble breathing through all the snot so first thing yesterday morning I took him to the vet. They kept him so he could spend some time in their oxygen box and I picked him up at the end of the day. The vet said and I quote, "I think he will be fine." He died on the way home all alone in the back of my car in his carrier. I didn't put him in the front because of the damn air bags. Screw the air bags, he should have known someone was with him. When he meowed, I should have pulled over and held him or at the very least petted him and told him I loved him. He died in the two things he hated most, the carrier and the car. So I think one of our female cats knew what happened. She would run back and forth from the room we initially brought him into and the door but that's the most reaction from any of them I saw. During one point of the evening I was lying in the floor kind of half grieving and half playing with the other pets and they behaved as if it was any other normal day. I would have thought at the very least they would have been more cuddly with their humans because of the pain we were experiencing and displaying. Maybe they aren't as empathetic as I thought or maybe that's just not the relationship we have with them. I wonder is all. I'm not blaming them. I know this is a meandering post. I'm mad and sad. Why would the vet send us with an animal so fragile he couldn't last the 30 minute drive home? Why? Why charge us for medications that he will never take? Why? Why didn't I pet him when I picked him up instead of leaving him in his carrier? Why didn't I know it was worse? Why didn't I take him immediately the day before when I first noticed he was sick? At least this one I can answer, he had been through it before and antibiotics fixed him right up so I thought they would again. Thanks for letting me blather. I'm presently between friends so everyone else I can talk to about this is hurting too. I don't want to make them hurt more. Yesterday, digging his grave helped with some of the anger but not all. I don't know what to do about the sadness. Time I guess. Speaking of time, it was weird how yesterday I didn't want to go to bed. I didn't want to fall asleep on Simon's last day because then I would wake up to a day that never had that sweetie in it. I'm sorry for the loss of your cat and that it happened in that way. I do think animals try to comfort us. Out cat always comes to us when we're sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen! As I am nursing along my own kitty whom I just learned is very sick, I think that shock of losing him so unexpectedly will be harder to integrate. Be gentle with yourself. I did think my one kitty is wondering where my Thor Bear kitty is because he is inside in our weight room (gym), where I can monitor and control everything. My other kitty was sniffing my clothes and I thought she was thinking, "You smell like Thor, but I don't know where he is!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 :crying: :grouphug: so sorry. I hate that kind of anger toward myself and not knowing what was going to happen. Sometimes it seems like our dog and cat know when mom is sick. They hang out in my room with me a lot and chill. When I've been sad, the dog puts her ears way down in the submissive "I'm sorry position" and will rest at my feet. The cat usually avoids me when I'm sad or angry. We recently took the cat to the vet, it was an emergency in my opinion. When we got home, the dog sniffed us, the cat and the crate, normal of course, but then kept a close eye on the cat. ? Time. Sorry Simon is gone. Do you have any photos of him to share? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 So sorry that happened. You were with him though and he wasn't alone. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I'm really sorry, I'd be so mad too. 🙠Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 So sorry. Our cat died last fall and our dog laid by the spot where she died and "cried" for two days. I have never seen anything like it. So, do I believe pets have empathy? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I'm sorry about your boy Simon! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs_JWM Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm so sorry. Sent from my XT1049 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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