On having one in school, one at home..... advice needed.

[poppy]

My daughter is in 3rd and at home. She had a really hard time in 1st-2nd grade.  Dyslexia, anxiety, ADHD, communication disorder, likely mood disorder... I am forgetting something but you get the gist.

I never planned to homeschool but it just made sense.  This year she is blossoming at home.

 

My son will be going into 2nd grade.

He's doing fine academically and seems happy.

I really want to bring him home!  I feel like he doesn't talk much at school and comes home and explodes . He talks and talks and talk and draws and draws and draws all hours he's awake at home. 
I think he would be easy to teach and would really do well.

 

But, the special needs kid is jealous of his ease at reading, ease at math.   I'd have to teach them separately and even then it would be emotionally difficult for her to "share".

 

His desire is to stay in school.  He says he wants to come home in 4th or 5th grade.

This would make a lot of sense - he'd be able to read and write fairly well by then compared to now and could do more on his own. 

 

But it hurts me a bit to put him on the bus!  My daughter and I go on so many outings and field trips and experiences that he's missing out on.

 

I'm curious  to hear from others who have been there on the best course.

Do I prioritize home education? Do I do what BOTH kids seem to want right now and wait?  I can't tell what is right.

 

 

 

[Lecka]

How does your daughter do socially?

 

My answer is let it be, but thinking about it, my main reason is that I think it would be hard if your son did fine socially, and either it is in you or your daughter's faces any time you do something social.

 

My son is very behind my daughter socially.

 

We have a dynamic where they get along well and play together at home, but when we are away from home she is off playing easily (SO easily) and my son really isn't.

 

Maybe this doesn't sound hard but it is!

Edited March 19, 2017 by Lecka

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:

 

FWIW, I was in a similar situation once.  DD had to come home.  DS probably should have stayed in school, just not the school we originally had him in.  I honestly think DS would have been a happier child in a brick and mortar setting.

 

Based on what you have posted and my own past experience I would keep things as they are for now.  Your son does not want to come home yet.  Your daughter does not want him home.  You would be forcing a situation on them that neither wants right now.  They might very much end up resenting you and each other.  You will have to teach them separately which will mean a very long day for you.  I would wait.  Let your daughter get further with remediation.  Let your son enjoy his time at school while he still actually DOES like it there.  Bring him home later on if it seems a good idea but let it ride for now.

 

I don't have a choice now but I wish I did.  My kids are like oil and water.  DD does not learn well when DS is around.  He's a talker and a planner and a sharer and she just isn't.  Honestly, their relationship has suffered with having to homeschool both of them.  I separated them to make things more functional but with two special needs kids, and one in High School, there are a lot of days I am working on school work from 7am to 5 or 6pm, then I have to start dinner, then work on paperwork for the business I run with my mother, etc. and some days I don't get to bed until 1 or 2.  Its exhausting.  And DS really was happier in a school setting.  

[poppy]

Thanks for the sanity check, both of you.  I will let it lie.  And be thankful I have two (reasonably) happy kids.

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks for the sanity check, both of you. I will let it lie. And be thankful I have two (reasonably) happy kids.

:)

 

Parenting is hard. Where is that all knowing instruction manual the kids were supposed to come with? Or that lovely crystal ball I was expecting? Maybe lost in the mail? 'Cause I seriously didn't get mine and I REALLY could have used one. :laugh:

Edited March 19, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Lecka]

Sometimes it really is hard.

[maize]

I think that often all we can do is accept that there is not going to be an ideal solution; consider the pros and cons for each situation and make the choice that we feel best about.

 

Sometimes we want there to be a solution with no downsides but that just doesn't happen.

 

I do have just one child in school right now with my others at home.