Menu
Jump to content

What's with the ads?

Home'scool

Contempt of a court order

Recommended Posts

Guest

Divorce turns marriage into a business transaction. If it is legal, go after the equity. It is just business.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Obviously you can do whatever you like, but how would you feel if the situation was reversed and your husband was demanding partial ownership of your parents' home?

 

If it happened and you posted about it here, I can almost guarantee you that just about everyone would be posting to support you and saying how horrible it was that he was dragging your poor parents into your divorce and trying to steal their home away from them.

 

I don't know how you feel about your in-laws, but please know that you will be both hurting and frightening them if you use this "negotiation tactic."

 

I won't post about this again, but I hope you'll think long and hard before you do this to your in-laws.

 

I do wish you the very best on everything else, though. Your dh is behaving so badly and I do understand why you want to fight as hard as you can for what is rightfully yours. I just don't think any part of his parents' home is part of what's rightfully yours.

Everything that's a marital asset is a marital asset. Maybe they sent money to help pay the bills. This isn't a sentimental object that she's trying to get and destroy. It was acquired during the marriage and she is entitled to half. She would have access to the property if he hadn't hooked up with a new chickadee. If you want to dissolve your marriage and divide your assets, you must divide all of your assets. Putting property in someone else's name is a very common way people try to hide assets in divorces and other cases. At any rate, it doesn't matter whose the property WAS. Currently, it's marital property. Just like their home and all of their other income and assets. The source of the property is irrelevant.

  • Like 10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Catwoman ~

 

I do hear what you are saying and in some ways I agree. I do not want to make any choices out of vindictiveness or bitterness. I do, however, have to protect myself financially. If he is willing to negotiate a fair deal that allows me to live a reasonable lifestyle then I won't have a problem letting the house go. I only put it on the negotiation table when I realized he was going to fight me for every last dime. Getting a portion of the house may allow me to retire at a reasonable age, or allow me to live somewhere I feel safe. I have to at least keep it as a negotiation until I know what I will be receiving. I won't be nasty about it, but believe me, if he had his way he would leave me with nothing. I have to fight back with all the resources I can.

 

 

  • Like 17

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm assuming his parents are still alive because when I responded to her posts and mentioned her in-laws, she didn't say they were dead.

 

Whatever the case, I have made my point as best I could, and home'scool can ignore it if she'd like.

 

I realize that different people will have different opinions on this type of situation.

 

 

(Edited for clarity -- I hope! :) )

I think the point is he's tried to divest himself of all financial responsibility, and in the absence of an ethical legal stance on his side, op needs to resort to whatever legal means are available to obtain appropriate compensation.

 

If he'd acted responsibly, it could all look more tidy. But he's tried every tactic to evade responsibility--including trying to duck out on court-ordered payments a few days ago--so it's not about which portion of his ledger the payments come from, but simply that he lives up to his responsibility. It should impact his bottom line, not his parents'. And if he lets his debt impact his parents, he's an even bigger jerk than he has seemed to this point. 

 

Amy

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you wholeheartefly, and yes, you DO have the right to ask for a share of the parents' house. If it was acquired during your marriage, then you have a claim to it.

Kinsa, totally agree with you here, and realizing you need to delete your quote of the op in this post.

 

Amy 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Also, this is the risk you take when you add someone as an owner on your home. Which is why lawyers tell people to not do it.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everything that's a marital asset is a marital asset. Maybe they sent money to help pay the bills. This isn't a sentimental object that she's trying to get and destroy. It was acquired during the marriage and she is entitled to half. She would have access to the property if he hadn't hooked up with a new chickadee. If you want to dissolve your marriage and divide your assets, you must divide all of your assets. Putting property in someone else's name is a very common way people try to hide assets in divorces and other cases. At any rate, it doesn't matter whose the property WAS. Currently, it's marital property. Just like their home and all of their other income and assets. The source of the property is irrelevant.

I agree and would suggest that there's nothing here that *doesn't* affect someone involved, even tangentially, in an emotional way.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KINSA and CATWOMAN:  Please delete your quote of the post Homes'cool deleted.  Thank you. 

 

 

Here is ONE reason that I could see claiming equity in the in-laws' house that is NOT related to a negotiating tactic.  If decisions were made during the marriage based on the expected income from that sale, that might count as a good reason to ask for it.

 

Eg., if while married you bought a boat and spent a lot of retirement money based on the expectation that in the long run, you could afford the boat because the sale of the house would essentially replace that retirement money, then that is part of the divorce equation.  Maybe.  I'm not a lawyer and I would never make it as one.  But it is just a thought.  I have one of those from time to time, and so far, it is still allowed.  :0). 

 

 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am actually surprised you are getting any child support for a child over the age of 18. is that something that really happens?

 

you definitely deserve alimony and portion of all of the assets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KINSA and CATWOMAN: Please delete your quote of the post Homes'cool deleted. Thank you.

 

 

Here is ONE reason that I could see claiming equity in the in-laws' house that is NOT related to a negotiating tactic. If decisions were made during the marriage based on the expected income from that sale, that might count as a good reason to ask for it.

 

Eg., if while married you bought a boat and spent a lot of retirement money based on the expectation that in the long run, you could afford the boat because the sale of the house would essentially replace that retirement money, then that is part of the divorce equation. Maybe. I'm not a lawyer and I would never make it as one. But it is just a thought. I have one of those from time to time, and so far, it is still allowed. :0).

Thank you for the reminder -- I'd forgotten I had quoted her!

 

Off to delete right now!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OP, I have nothing to contribute re the specifics but I did want to say that after reading a number of your posts over the last year, I am very relieved to hear that you found yourself a lawyer and are fighting hard for your share of the marital estate!  

  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OP, I would strongly urge you to fight for every cent that you are legally entitled to, and to not be pressured into giving up future financial security on the grounds that it's the "nice thing to do." Women who "play nice" almost always get screwed in the end.

 

The way to structure the settlement regarding your husband's equity in his parents' house is to add the value of his equity to the equity in the marital home and divide in half. Then you get your half in cash from the sale of the marital home, and his half includes the equity in his parent's house.

 

These are made-up numbers, but it will give you an idea of how it works: Let's say he owns one half interest in his parents' house, and they have 80K in equity, so 40K of that "belongs" to him — and by extension to you. Then let's say that you have 60K equity in the marital home. Add those together and there is 100K of real estate equity that is marital property of which you each get 50K. So if the proceeds of the sale of the marital home are 60K, then you get 50K cash and he gets 10K cash plus the equity in his parents' home. 

 

That is not being vindictive or spiteful and in no way does that hurt his parents. It's a fair, even split of the marital assets to which you are legally entitled. Do not let your husband, his parents, or anyone else talk you into giving up what you are rightfully owed. 

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One thing about going after the IL's house is that if there's the slightest chance of maintaining decent relations with the IL's for the sake of the kids (IL's grandchildren), it might be better to try to hang on to that for the kids' sake. I mean, if the IL's were a lot nicer than their son, they COULD be a resource for OP in a real emergency. But going after their house might destroy any hope of that.

 

I'm just remembering being a single mother, I think .... Very hard.

The kids here are in college not young.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OP, I would strongly urge you to fight for every cent that you are legally entitled to, and to not be pressured into giving up future financial security on the grounds that it's the "nice thing to do." Women who "play nice" almost always get screwed in the end.

 

The way to structure the settlement regarding your husband's equity in his parents' house is to add the value of his equity to the equity in the marital home and divide in half. Then you get your half in cash from the sale of the marital home, and his half includes the equity in his parent's house.

 

 

.

Whether she is entitled to that, however, if a legal matter. It's not about what feels fair. In most states, property that is inherited or given as a gift to one spouse is "separate" property and not subject to distribution in a divorce.

 

If my parents give me $10,000 and I put that in my own checking account, it's my separate property and remains so. if I deposit that money in the joint account with my husband, it can lose its "separate" character and become marital property. It may be considered a gift to the marriage in that kind of case.

 

In my state, if my parents put me on a deed to their home but continue to live in it, maintain it, and handle it's expenses themselves, my interest in that home would almost certainly be my separate property. Obviously, this is fact specific and also subject to the laws in that jurisdiction.

 

I hate to feel like I'm being argumentative here, but I also hate to see OP get bad advice. Since the OP has an attorney, I am sure her attorney can advise her best.

 

There can be a real risk in pursuing claims that are clearly legally without merit - such as a court ordering that the party bringing the meritless claim pay the other party's legal expenses.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One thing about going after the IL's house is that if there's the slightest chance of maintaining decent relations with the IL's for the sake of the kids (IL's grandchildren), it might be better to try to hang on to that for the kids' sake.  I mean, if the IL's were a lot nicer than their son, they COULD be a resource for OP in a real emergency.  But going after their house might destroy any hope of that.

 

I'm just remembering being a single mother, I think ....  Very hard.  

 

Inlaws are not people to bank on. And if inlaws want to dump their grandchildren out of a grudge against their ex-DIL, that's on them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am actually surprised you are getting any child support for a child over the age of 18. is that something that really happens?

 

you definitely deserve alimony and portion of all of the assets.

She spelled out that the judge is not ordering either party to pay any child support. She's to receive alimony for the lost earning potential in a long marriage and 1/2 of their assets.

 

Sometimes a judge will degree that one party will pay a certain amount toward the expenses of a young adult child who is in college.

Edited by LucyStoner
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whether she is entitled to that, however, if a legal matter. It's not about what feels fair. In most states, property that is inherited or given as a gift to one spouse is "separate" property and not subject to distribution in a divorce.

 

Of course she needs to discuss it with her lawyer, but there are many ways in which the husband's equity could end up qualifying as a marital asset even if it was just in his name. For example, if the parents put him on the deed in return for a loan or for doing certain repairs or upkeep on the house, in which case the equity was exchanged for cash or labor that was jointly owned. Or the husband may have told the OP that they didn't need to save for retirement, because they would be getting his parents' house, in which case the OP could argue that she had given up other assets (a retirement account) to which she would have been entitled, based on the promise of half of the house.

 

Even if the husband can prove that the equity in his parents' house was 100% a gift to him alone, and that his parents never intended his wife to have any access to it, a judge may still choose to include it in the calculations of his assets and therefore award the OP a larger share of the proceeds of the marital home.

 

I've known too many women who "didn't want to fight about money," didn't want to be the "bad guy," just wanted to get it over with, etc., who ended up a few years later feeling really screwed — especially when they discover that a lot of the things they "didn't want to fight over" now belong to the new Mrs. Ex. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...