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Planning out 3 months of meals - UPDATE: I did 2 months


Ginevra
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Perhaps, but when you care about people (like I think Quill is adorable) it is deeply saddening to see such a potentially rewarding part of life turned into a joyless drudgery.

 

Life shouldn't be like that. Especially when the job isn't going away. Meal planning for months in advance won't buy free time.

 

The better answer is strategic shopping.

 

Bill

 

Believe it or not Bill, different people find joy in different things. What is joy for you, may be drudgery for her. Or it may not be that time right now. 

 

It could be amazingly rewarding to grow my own veggies, but right now, 10 days overdue, with a book deadline looming, and so many other things going on, I promise you, it is WAY more joyful for me to buy some freaking lettuce than to spend time gardening. In other seasons of life, gardening WAS enjoyable. But right now, it would be added stress. 

 

And yes, meal planning DOES buy free time,a nd more than that, buys some brainless time. Decision fatigue is a real thing, and when you are making a zillion decisions a day having one more thing to decide is a pain in the ass sometimes. 

 

Look at it this way, some people get real joy and satisfaction out of say, fixing a plumbing issue, or laying down new flooring, or whatever. Others would get more satisfaction calling a plumber and using that time to go for a hike instead of researching how to fix the leak, going to the store to buy the parts, and then doing the work. There is no point telling someone that they are missing out on satisfaction in not doing it themselves if they don't want to do it, and would rather just go for a hike. 

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I think if a person has not taken on the full-time care of an elderly relative while full-time homeschooling two children AND working many hours outside the home, one should not tell the person DOING IT that they are not doing it right; that they should seek more joy through spending hours on obtaining and preparing fresher foods on a daily basis. That their provision for their family is "sad" and "joyless."

 

The rewarding part of life, in such a phase, is to successfully see to the physical, medical, emotional, educational, social and gastronomic needs of an entire family to the best of one's ability. Anyone who can do it (and knowing Quill it WILL be done with nutritious foods, a hygienic environment, and kindness and sympathy) is good enough.

 

I could not disapprove more highly of your scolding than I do, Bill. Do this woman's job, and then come back and explain how your food was fresher and better, and how you did it (all of it) with more joy.

Edited by Tibbie Dunbar
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I think if a person has not taken on the full-time care of an elderly relative while full-time homeschooling two children AND working many hours outside the home, one should not tell the person DOING IT that they are not doing it right; that they should seek more joy through spending hours on obtaining and preparing fresher foods on a daily basis. That their provision for their family is "sad" and "joyless."

 

The rewarding part of life, in such a phase, is to successfully see to the physical, medical, emotional, educational, social and gastronomic needs of an entire family to the best of one's ability. Anyone who can do it (and knowing Quill it WILL be done with nutritious foods, a hygienic environment, and kindness and sympathy) is good enough.

 

I could not disapprove more highly of your scolding than I do, Bill. Do this woman's job, and then come back and explain how your food was fresher and better, and how you did it (all of it) with more joy.

I totally agree, it's baffling!

 

Bill, maybe you need to google 'mansplaining'

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Believe it or not Bill, different people find joy in different things. What is joy for you, may be drudgery for her. Or it may not be that time right now. 

 

It could be amazingly rewarding to grow my own veggies, but right now, 10 days overdue, with a book deadline looming, and so many other things going on, I promise you, it is WAY more joyful for me to buy some freaking lettuce than to spend time gardening. In other seasons of life, gardening WAS enjoyable. But right now, it would be added stress. 

 

And yes, meal planning DOES buy free time,a nd more than that, buys some brainless time. Decision fatigue is a real thing, and when you are making a zillion decisions a day having one more thing to decide is a pain in the ass sometimes. 

 

Look at it this way, some people get real joy and satisfaction out of say, fixing a plumbing issue, or laying down new flooring, or whatever. Others would get more satisfaction calling a plumber and using that time to go for a hike instead of researching how to fix the leak, going to the store to buy the parts, and then doing the work. There is no point telling someone that they are missing out on satisfaction in not doing it themselves if they don't want to do it, and would rather just go for a hike.

 

  

I think if a person has not taken on the full-time care of an elderly relative while full-time homeschooling two children AND working many hours outside the home, one should not tell the person DOING IT that they are not doing it right; that they should seek more joy through spending hours on obtaining and preparing fresher foods on a daily basis. That their provision for their family is "sad" and "joyless."

 

The rewarding part of life, in such a phase, is to successfully see to the physical, medical, emotional, educational, social and gastronomic needs of an entire family to the best of one's ability. Anyone who can do it (and knowing Quill it WILL be done with nutritious foods, a hygienic environment, and kindness and sympathy) is good enough.

 

I could not disapprove more highly of your scolding than I do, Bill. Do this woman's job, and then come back and explain how your food was fresher and better, and how you did it (all of it) with more joy.

I agree completely with Katie and Tibbie. I also wanted to add that there's nothing "deeply saddening" about a person who doesn't love to cook. I know some women who never cook at all, and they're very happy people. I know some other people who have hobbies that they love, and they would much rather order a pizza than waste their free time cooking, because for them it would be a waste of their time and would keep them from the hobbies they enjoy.

 

In my case, I do like to cook. But there have been times, like when my dh first had his transplant and we were overwhelmed with medical appointments and learning new routines and trying to find a new house to buy in a new state, that you can bet I would have been absolutely thrilled if someone had handed me a two or three month meal schedule and a big shopping list so I could go to the store once a week, get my stuff, and get out of there as quickly as humanly possible. It would have given me one less thing to think about. And forget about creativity -- I wanted simple and nutritious and quick to prepare, with minimal clean-up.

 

Bill can call me crazy, but the idea of skipping happily around a farmers market every day or two joyfully picking out fresh produce was the last thing on my mind and would have seemed like a complete and utter waste of my already extremely limited time. I was tired. I had a lot on my mind. Cooking wasn't going to be joyful because I didn't have time or energy to get particularly "creative," and I had far more important priorities that ranked way above whether or not I was deriving joy from my meal preparation.

 

We're not all the same. Our circumstances are all different. There's no "best" answer here. What's "best" is whatever works for each person's family. I don't understand the judgmentalism or the absolute certainty that one way is the only right way.

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I think if a person has not taken on the full-time care of an elderly relative while full-time homeschooling two children AND working many hours outside the home, one should not tell the person DOING IT that they are not doing it right; that they should seek more joy through spending hours on obtaining and preparing fresher foods on a daily basis. That their provision for their family is "sad" and "joyless."

 

The rewarding part of life, in such a phase, is to successfully see to the physical, medical, emotional, educational, social and gastronomic needs of an entire family to the best of one's ability. Anyone who can do it (and knowing Quill it WILL be done with nutritious foods, a hygienic environment, and kindness and sympathy) is good enough.

 

I could not disapprove more highly of your scolding than I do, Bill. Do this woman's job, and then come back and explain how your food was fresher and better, and how you did it (all of it) with more joy.

Aww. â˜ºï¸ I feel so warm and fuzzy inside, now.

 

And Bill, here's the thing: I generally like cooking, put a lot of effort into having very good, nutritious, wholesome, homemade food, and even do a good deal of totally unnecessary things like make homemade relish and canned tomatoes from my garden. I agree those things can be enjoyable and rewarding.But planning food in advance is not anti-thetical to making good food, delicious food, nutritious amd wholesome food. If it were, there would not be so many successful restaurants with definite menus. There are great chefs everywhere who are dutifully making their renowned Chicken Chili or Hot and Sour Soup, for which people come from miles around; nobody cares the chef didn't just dream the meal up on the spot; everyone leaves satisfied. So, I'm aiming for that in this season of my life.

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I LOVE to cook. Really love it. But planning meals or deciding what to make stresses me to hell. Those are two separate things in my mind.

 

I'm in awe of a 2 month plan!

They're separate in my mind, too.

 

I think the meal plans are a great idea, if for nothing else than giving me a list of things I need to buy at the store so I don't end up forgetting one or two crucial ingredients.

 

Not that the whole forgetting thing ever happens.

 

Well, not more than twice a week or so... ;)

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Bill, if you love to cook then I'm sure Quill would be glad to let you take over that part of her life.

 

Sounds like a TV show. "Bill and Quill. He loves to cook. She homeschools while taking care of an elderly relative. Together, THEY FIGHT CRIME!"

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Bill, if you love to cook then I'm sure Quill would be glad to let you take over that part of her life.

 

Sounds like a TV show. "Bill and Quill. He loves to cook. She homeschools while taking care of an elderly relative. Together, THEY FIGHT CRIME!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

I love that!!!!! :lol:

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Bill, if you love to cook then I'm sure Quill would be glad to let you take over that part of her life.

 

Sounds like a TV show. "Bill and Quill. He loves to cook. She homeschools while taking care of an elderly relative. Together, THEY FIGHT CRIME!"

The Bill and Quill show!!!😅😅😅

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The Bill and Quill show!!!😅😅😅

 

That does sound like a good name for a show!

 

Bill (of Bill and Quill) 

 

I have an alternate plan brewing to offer as a suggestion to the plan-months-of-menus-in-advance model. 

 

As to the many restaurants having "definite menus," it is precisely what keeps these places from being great, and makes cooking there a chore.

 

Those few restaurants that cook meals according to what's fresh are in a completely different culinary world than those that serve the same items 365. No comparison.

 

Bill

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Those few restaurants that cook meals according to what's fresh are in a completely different culinary world than those that serve the same items 365. No comparison.

 

Bill

 

And yet, are perfectly adequate nutritionally. And many many people enjoy them. And they have a big place in every day life. 

 

Look at it this way Bill, do you sew your own clothes? There are people that say you are missing out on the satisfaction of sewing and picking out fabric, etc etc. But you find it a better use of your time to buy your clothes already made, and spend that time on something else. And that's fine. It would be wrong to say you are doing it wrong by not sewing your own clothes. And it's wrong to say she's doing it wrong by using a preplanned menu for a few months of her life. 

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Perhaps, but when you care about people (like I think Quill is adorable) it is deeply saddening to see such a potentially rewarding part of life turned into a joyless drudgery.

 

Life shouldn't be like that. Especially when the job isn't going away. Meal planning for months in advance won't buy free time.

 

The better answer is strategic shopping.

 

Bill

 

Now imagine what deeply saddening events might lead me to be eating tinned spaghetti for breakfast.

 

That's a whole lot worse than meal planning for 3 months, isn't it?

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I don't want to continue piling on, but I'll try once more.

 

People often don't like me. I spent my youth convinced I knew better than everybody around me, a perception fueled only *somewhat* by the fact that it was often true that I did. But nobody takes advice that's couched in the form of "I know better than you, and this idea of yours is dumb", even if that's patently true.

 

I had to work really, really hard to learn to phrase advice in a way that people will listen to. Sometimes that means not giving my opinion at all. In this case, where advice was asked for, it means being careful to phrase it in a way that sounds nice. I might think in my head "Geez, this person is so stupid", but the trick is to never let them know I think it.

 

As a bizarre side advantage, working to pretend I don't think everybody around me is dumb as dirt has caused me to see that actually, they have some good ideas some of the time! Whodathunkit? Sometimes, their strange concepts work really well for them and their lives, even if they wouldn't work for me. And sometimes, they even can give me good advice!

 

And sometimes, I work really hard, and they still hate me and my advice. Gotta try harder.

 

You don't seem to be putting in any effort at all. Every one of your posts screams "I'm right, you're wrong, and this idea is stupid and you're stupid for thinking of it, you stupidhead".

 

This is not conducive for sharing information. Nobody is going to want to listen to somebody who makes them feel like dirt. And that's what you're doing here. I'm sure you don't mean to - if you did, you'd be even blunter about it - but that's the effect of your words.

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Look at it this way Bill, do you sew your own clothes? There are people that say you are missing out on the satisfaction of sewing and picking out fabric, etc etc. But you find it a better use of your time to buy your clothes already made, and spend that time on something else. And that's fine. It would be wrong to say you are doing it wrong by not sewing your own clothes. And it's wrong to say she's doing it wrong by using a preplanned menu for a few months of her life.

 

When a poster here asked a little while ago about socks that 'don't get holes', my first thought was 'teach your kids how to darn socks!'

 

But while that solution works well enough for me, it seemed unlikely that anybody here wanted to hear that. So I kept it to myself rather than make the poster think that I thought they weren't trying hard enough to be a good mom.

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That does sound like a good name for a show!

 

Bill (of Bill and Quill)

 

I have an alternate plan brewing to offer as a suggestion to the plan-months-of-menus-in-advance model.

 

As to the many restaurants having "definite menus," it is precisely what keeps these places from being great, and makes cooking there a chore.

 

Those few restaurants that cook meals according to what's fresh are in a completely different culinary world than those that serve the same items 365. No comparison.

 

Bill

And once again, Bill, that's only your opinion. It's not a fact. You may believe it's a fact, but it's not.

 

Sometimes I think you just like to argue with people. :D

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I don't want to continue piling on, but I'll try once more.

 

People often don't like me. I spent my youth convinced I knew better than everybody around me, a perception fueled only *somewhat* by the fact that it was often true that I did. But nobody takes advice that's couched in the form of "I know better than you, and this idea of yours is dumb", even if that's patently true.

 

I had to work really, really hard to learn to phrase advice in a way that people will listen to. Sometimes that means not giving my opinion at all. In this case, where advice was asked for, it means being careful to phrase it in a way that sounds nice. I might think in my head "Geez, this person is so stupid", but the trick is to never let them know I think it.

 

As a bizarre side advantage, working to pretend I don't think everybody around me is dumb as dirt has caused me to see that actually, they have some good ideas some of the time! Whodathunkit? Sometimes, their strange concepts work really well for them and their lives, even if they wouldn't work for me. And sometimes, they even can give me good advice!

 

And sometimes, I work really hard, and they still hate me and my advice. Gotta try harder.

 

You don't seem to be putting in any effort at all. Every one of your posts screams "I'm right, you're wrong, and this idea is stupid and you're stupid for thinking of it, you stupidhead".

 

This is not conducive for sharing information. Nobody is going to want to listen to somebody who makes them feel like dirt. And that's what you're doing here. I'm sure you don't mean to - if you did, you'd be even blunter about it - but that's the effect of your words.

How very interesting. I had a similar plank in my own eye and a similar epiphany at some point. With my DH, it was, "Well, I'll be darned...the man has some really good ideas if I can turn off my arrogant filter for a few minutes and listen! Actually, in certain areas, his solutions are far superior to my own."

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Well, this thread has inspired me to do what I've been meaning to do and revamp my menu/meal planning.

I went through my recipe box and picked out all the recipes that were flops (or even just "meh").  Once I had all the favorites, I grouped them into categories, which ended up being:

pasta/Italian

chicken dishes

beef dishes

soups

Greek/Middle Eastern/Mexican/Indian (because they are typically served with flatbread/tortillas/naan and rice in our house, they got clumped together):D

 

My plan is to laminate my list and as we make a dish (choosing from different categories) I mark it off.  My current rut was feeling like we were eating the same thing each week.  Once we hit the whole list, wipe it clean and start again. :D  This eliminates my frustration when the week goes awry and we don't eat XX on Weds. like I planned. ;)

 

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Now imagine what deeply saddening events might lead me to be eating tinned spaghetti for breakfast.

 

That's a whole lot worse than meal planning for 3 months, isn't it?

(((Rosie)))

 

I'm sending you lots of love. I wish I could do more. I'd bring the can opener and sit with you if I could.

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Now imagine what deeply saddening events might lead me to be eating tinned spaghetti for breakfast.

 

That's a whole lot worse than meal planning for 3 months, isn't it?

 

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry.

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Now imagine what deeply saddening events might lead me to be eating tinned spaghetti for breakfast.

 

That's a whole lot worse than meal planning for 3 months, isn't it?

Oh, dear Rosie.  :grouphug: 

 

So true and right, as usual. Wishing I could be there, again.

 

Just so unfair. What an inadequate  thing for me to say, but nothing I say could make it better. All I can do is send love & virtual hugs.

Edited by Ellesmere
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That does sound like a good name for a show!

 

Bill (of Bill and Quill) 

 

I have an alternate plan brewing to offer as a suggestion to the plan-months-of-menus-in-advance model. 

 

As to the many restaurants having "definite menus," it is precisely what keeps these places from being great, and makes cooking there a chore.

 

Those few restaurants that cook meals according to what's fresh are in a completely different culinary world than those that serve the same items 365. No comparison.

 

Bill

 

Unless you live in an area where most of the year nothing is fresh.  My excitement looks something like this when I shop to cook for a meal for the night, "Oh let's see what looks the least dead today." 

 

But ya know, I think I'm not a terrible cook if I can make crap old produce taste like something.

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This made a very entertaining evening as I read this thread aloud to my husband. He wants to know which season Tater Tot Casserole belongs in. Also, since Shamrock Shakes are in season, does that mean they are better than McFlurries?

 

We actually meant to start meal planning again this weekend as we're in the same boat as Wendy. Nothing in Alaska is fresh and in season. And our method of buying what looks good and working backwards is what leads to us having a bin of yucky veg in the fridge each week since we don't use it before it goes bad. We have switched over to buying mostly frozen veg. No more slimy zucchini and brown cauliflower!

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