Drowning in stuff from parents' home

[PrairieSong]

My father died in January (Mom has been gone several years) and we are slowly cleaning out the house. They weren't hoarders who would qualify for the TV show but oh my, the stuff! The clothes and books and linens and kitchen stuff is bad enough but the boxes and boxes of photos, greeting cards, and papers are going to send me over the edge!! Decades of Christmas cards, letters, photos of people I don't know, etc etc. I am just tired of it and I have several more boxes. We still have work to do on the house, too. Two bedrooms, kitchen, garage, and covered patio have not been touched.

 

My grandma lived with us for years and was a tidy person, but she had some deep drawers full of old cards and letters too!

 

If only Marie Kondo had been around back then, and they had read her book.

 

 

 

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[Catwoman]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Ellie]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Guest]

Today I packed up not one , not two, ...but FIVE sets of 5-piece place settings FOR TWELVE PEOPLE for my mom and sister who are moving.

 

And then I found another set. Of 12. For the record, they have a table that seats 6.

 

Tomorrow, I pack up the accompanying silver/flatware. For each set. I've already packed 20 blankets and quilts, 22 towels, 18 bibles (duplicates of same editions for both of them). I got nasty today and told my mom she could keep 2 (of 17) aprons.

 

:::weeps:::

 

I feel your pain.

 

And when I get home, stuff is going to fly out the door. And I have only ONE set of dishes.

 

LAST week, I packed my MIL so she could move. You've never seen so much useless stuff in your life. Including 7 platters for a woman who is a hermit and never has anyone over. But she NEEDS them all.

 

Last week was the first week of Lent and one of the lines of a penitential hymn says, "I have loved material possessions, and now I bear a heavy yoke."

 

I've felt this for a long time but both my dh and I are now committed to easing this burden in our own lives. Because it really is a heavy yoke for our moms and sister. And for my dh and me. But DANG...FIVE --no wait--SIX 12-place sets of dishes for two people? 7 platters for a hermit? Mercy.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and having this as the aftermath. (((Prairie)))

[PrairieSong]

I know others have gone through this before me, and many much worse. I don't understand at all why anyone would keep Christmas and birthday cards from people who just signed their names. ??? My mom had several albums from three overseas trips full of photos of flowers and plates of food. I kept one photo of her and chucked the rest. Hope I don't sound heartless. I'm so glad she got to travel, but they were her memories, not mine, and she is not here to look at those albums.

 

I am just tired.

 

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[gaillardia]

Guys, check Etsy for selling vintage stuff. 

Use an auction service to sell it for you at an estate sale if you're not so inclined to do Etsy.

We had some beautiful postcards from my great aunts to each other and other loved ones during the early 1900s. I saw online one that was selling for hundreds of dollars because of the postmark and where it was posted, somewhere in Wyoming. 

Check ebay as well to compare the market prices on items. Have a yard or garage sale. It's money in the pocket.

[PrairieSong]

Today I packed up not one , not two, ...but FIVE sets of 5-piece place settings FOR TWELVE PEOPLE for my mom and sister who are moving.

 

And then I found another set. Of 12. For the record, they have a table that seats 6.

 

Tomorrow, I pack up the accompanying silver/flatware. For each set. I've already packed 20 blankets and quilts, 22 towels, 18 bibles (duplicates of same editions for both of them). I got nasty today and told my mom she could keep 2 (of 17) aprons.

 

:::weeps:::

 

I feel your pain.

 

And when I get home, stuff is going to fly out the door. And I have only ONE set of dishes.

 

LAST week, I packed my MIL so she could move. You've never seen so much useless stuff in your life. Including 7 platters for a woman who is a hermit and never has anyone over. But she NEEDS them all.

 

Last week was the first week of Lent and one of the lines of a penitential hymn says, "I have loved material possessions, and now I bear a heavy yoke."

 

I've felt this for a long time but both my dh and I are now committed to easing this burden in our own lives. Because it really is a heavy yoke for our moms and sister. And for my dh and me. But DANG...FIVE --no wait--SIX 12-place sets of dishes for two people? 7 platters for a hermit? Mercy.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and having this as the aftermath. (((Prairie)))

I'm sorry for what you've been going through! That is a LOT of dishes. I have the same reaction as you. I want to pare down more, not have things be a burden, and not have our kids be weighed down by excessive stuff after we are gone.

 

It's Lent for us, too. Loved the quote! I may have to post that one on the bathroom mirror.

 

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[PrairieSong]

Guys, check Etsy for selling vintage stuff.

Use an auction service to sell it for you at an estate sale if you're not so inclined to do Etsy.

We had some beautiful postcards from my great aunts to each other and other loved ones during the early 1900s. I saw online one that was selling for hundreds of dollars because of the postmark and where it was posted, somewhere in Wyoming.

Check ebay as well to compare the market prices on items. Have a yard or garage sale. It's money in the pocket.

We have a few very old post cards from my husband's family but we have kept them. If we decide to get rid of them I'll check Etsy or eBay. We'll be having an estate sale to get rid of what is left of my parents' stuff, after family members take what they want.

 

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[LucyStoner]

We ended up "containerizing" a lot of it so we could go through it one bin at a time once we had the emotional wherewithal.  We had to clear the house for sale, so we just donated the big stuff we knew no one wanted, tossed the trash and then stuffed the rest into bins.  The bins sat for a long while in our garage but that was better than trying to do it all at once.  

 

It is hard and you definitely have my sympathy.  

Edited March 9, 2017 by LucyStoner

[FaithManor]

We are going to have a real problem when my parents pass. They have done nothing to thin things down, and when my grandmother died, did not thin out her stuff except her clothes.

 

We have decided to have an "make an offer estate sale". We will take all of the cards, paperwork, etc. and simply burn it by the box full because my sister will be home from France for only a short period of time, and my brother's health problems just got worse (he had a stroke in September, just became 85% recovered last month, and yesterday afternoon had a mild heart attack) so we simply cannot justify taking the time and stress to go through everything.

 

Once the paperwork mess is gone, bonfire out, we'll advertise heavily and let people go through and give us what they want for things.

 

What is left will be sold with the property. They have a small piece of land that is worth something, but the house is worth almost nothing. We'll cut the price of the land down to a steal with the caveat that we aren't cleaning that house out. The people getting the deal of the century can take that on themselves. I suspect they will have the fire department come train some new firefighters by doing a controlled burn of the place.

 

It is so very, very hard to manage and especially if one doesn't have a large block of time in which to accomplish it.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Beth S]

It is a comfort, knowing other WTMers are doing this as well.  (This month, we're helping in-laws pack & move to a retirement village.)

 

We've concluded that our parents' generation still remembers the Depression, being poor, and were encouraged to be attached to their possessions.

 

I'm just very thankful dh and I are not . . . and we will downsize before we are too old to do it ourselves.  I hope. ;)

 

 

Edited March 9, 2017 by Beth S

[Annie G]

Gosh it feels good to know other people are going through this. We're trying to help my inlaws pare down their things as they prepare to move closer to their daughter. They SAY they want to downsize but they won't get rid of anything. Not even their third crockpot that is from the 1970's and has never been opened.  FIL has every VCR he ever owned in their original boxes.  Of course they don't work, but he refuses to part with them. And the list goes on and on...

[lovinmyboys]

My mom dealt with that after her parents passed. She and my dad recently moved and my mom got rid of a ton of stuff because of that. She also told me it is ok to trash her sentimental stuff- it was hers not mine. Her stuff will be easy to get through. My dad didnt really help with getting rid of stuff after his parents passed and he still has a bunch of unnecessary things. I think this is a new thing for this generation. As people realize how difficult it is for their kids to go through their things, I think people will start purging as they get older (maybe?). I know my mom sure did.

[PrairieSong]

Just found my birth announcement that my mom sent my grandma and grandpa, and I'm 55!! This is like an archaeological dig. It's kind of cool seeing a few things like that, but if I hadn't found them I wouldn't miss them, right? Makes me want to dump whole boxes.

 

Thanks everyone for commiserating and sharing your stories!

 

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[wintermom]

So sorry for your loss.

 

Maybe you can take a few photos of things you think are extra special, and recycle the rest? Bring in outside help from people who aren't emotionally attached to the people, as they can get rid of things so much faster and easier.

 

 

[Bambam]

We've been helping an elderly friend pack for relocating near family.

 

Over 30 pounds of white sugar in her pantry. ?? And she must take it all. 

 

Food that expired back in 2002. We tossed expired food. Over two large rolling trashcans full of expired food. Did you know that Coke somehow will escape from the cans but leave the cans intact? Over 10 years, and it will. You still heard the pressure pop when you opened it. Amazing.

 

And yes, extra sets of dishes. And so many pie tins - probably 10-12. And so many extras of everything. At least four boxes of parchment paper. 

 

So, I hear you. My sympathies. 

 

I'm cleaning out too. 

[Carol in Cal.]

Crazy story--someone I know did this.  It took weeks, but he had been figuring on days.

Toward the end there was this old box they found, rusty, but locked.  They didn't have a key, it was pretty lightweight so probably empty, and they were going to just toss it.  So they put it out in the rubbish, but then he thought, well, I guess I really should get that thing open just in case.  And it was full of cash; about $30,000.  "Emergency money" they figured.

[J-rap]

I'm sorry, that must be difficult.  I can't imagine how emotional it will be for me when I have to do that!  The emotions will be the hardest thing, because we are such a close family.

 

I'm trying to be much more frugal in what I save.  I know my kids will all be curious to see what's in our "suspicious trunk" in our attic though.  That will probably be the first thing they want to investigate.  We inherited a trunk from a very old neighbor when we were first married, who had a very suspicious past.  He was born in the late 1800's.  His trunk held... wow, I can't even say here!  haha   :D  We've kept it all these years.

[SebastianCat]

We went through the same process a few years ago when we moved my ILs into assisted living.   It was really difficult.   We had to clean out their attic before the estate sale people could look at everything that would be sold, and I was shocked at the stuff they hung on to.   They had 5 Christmas trees in the attic, baby gear (all of which I'm sure had been recalled at some point) from grandkids who were at least 10 years old by then, old bath mats, bags of old shopping bags, a case of dog food 15+ years old, the list goes on....

 

Do your best to throw all of the sentimental stuff into boxes and take it home with you, then go through it slowly at your own pace.   Get family members who want to claim any household goods to come and get what they want - and give them a deadline.    If there's no deadline, it will never get done.   Then engage an estate sale company to sort through everything, check it to make sure it's in working order, sell what can be sold, donate what doesn't sell, and trash what isn't worth selling.   They will take a % of the total sale as their commission, but they were worth their weight in gold for us.   (I think they filled several of those industrial-size dumpsters worth of trash when going through all of the stuff.)    Then you will finally be able to move on, make repairs to the house, and list it for sale.    Then take your time sorting through the sentimental stuff.   

[PrairieSong]

Crazy story--someone I know did this. It took weeks, but he had been figuring on days.

Toward the end there was this old box they found, rusty, but locked. They didn't have a key, it was pretty lightweight so probably empty, and they were going to just toss it. So they put it out in the rubbish, but then he thought, well, I guess I really should get that thing open just in case. And it was full of cash; about $30,000. "Emergency money" they figured.

Oh my goodness!! We did find some old savings bonds that are worth a few times their face value but not in the tens of thousands. Wow.

 

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[PrairieSong]

I'm sorry, that must be difficult. I can't imagine how emotional it will be for me when I have to do that! The emotions will be the hardest thing, because we are such a close family.

 

I'm trying to be much more frugal in what I save. I know my kids will all be curious to see what's in our "suspicious trunk" in our attic though. That will probably be the first thing they want to investigate. We inherited a trunk from a very old neighbor when we were first married, who had a very suspicious past. He was born in the late 1800's. His trunk held... wow, I can't even say here! haha :D We've kept it all these years.

Tell us! Or PM me..

 

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[Guest]

Crazy story--someone I know did this. It took weeks, but he had been figuring on days.

Toward the end there was this old box they found, rusty, but locked. They didn't have a key, it was pretty lightweight so probably empty, and they were going to just toss it. So they put it out in the rubbish, but then he thought, well, I guess I really should get that thing open just in case. And it was full of cash; about $30,000. "Emergency money" they figured.

Great story!!!

 

My SIL went piece by piece through her dad's papers--TEDIOUS--as he saved every solicitation letter he received, every piece of mail telling him he might already be a winner...denentia.

 

Mid stack, she found an interesting looking piece of paper...which turned out to be a life insurance policy. My dh tracked it through the multiple company sales in the dotcom bubble burst, finally had to hire a lawyer, but in the end, my MIL ended up with a tidy $30,000 check--which is all the life savings. Such a boon.

[Tanaqui]

I don't understand at all why anyone would keep Christmas and birthday cards from people who just signed their names.

 

I kept one like that from my grandfather. Usually, my grandmother would write a whole chatty message on the card and he'd sign after her name. Sometimes, she signed for him.

 

But that year she wasn't doing too well, so I got a card that he wrote Happy Birthday on and signed. That's the most handwriting from him I have, and so I kept it for a very long time. Nobody else in the family, even his daughter (my mother) had ever seen him so demonstrative! And he died a year or two after that, as well.

 

 

Guys, check Etsy for selling vintage stuff. 

Use an auction service to sell it for you at an estate sale if you're not so inclined to do Etsy.

We had some beautiful postcards from my great aunts to each other and other loved ones during the early 1900s. I saw online one that was selling for hundreds of dollars because of the postmark and where it was posted, somewhere in Wyoming. 

Check ebay as well to compare the market prices on items. Have a yard or garage sale. It's money in the pocket.

 

 

 

Time is money too. If most things are not of (or in) good quality, it may not be worth it to dig through everything to find the few items that are.

 

 

Crazy story--someone I know did this.  It took weeks, but he had been figuring on days.

Toward the end there was this old box they found, rusty, but locked.  They didn't have a key, it was pretty lightweight so probably empty, and they were going to just toss it.  So they put it out in the rubbish, but then he thought, well, I guess I really should get that thing open just in case.  And it was full of cash; about $30,000.  "Emergency money" they figured.

 

 

My high school economics teacher told us this story of an aunt of his who died, and afterwards nobody could find the pricey jewelry and the stock certificates and whatnot. Which was very annoying. So there they are at the wake, and another aunt, fed up, said "That's it, if I can't get the stuff I'm definitely not sending her into the earth with those nice pillows" and she grabbed one out... only to find that it was a pillowcase over a box of jewelry. The other one had the stock certificates.

 

(I'm thinking alcohol had a hand in the grabbing, but I can't explain why the deceased wanted to bury all her stuff with her.)

 

Gosh it feels good to know other people are going through this. We're trying to help my inlaws pare down their things as they prepare to move closer to their daughter. They SAY they want to downsize but they won't get rid of anything. Not even their third crockpot that is from the 1970's and has never been opened.  FIL has every VCR he ever owned in their original boxes.  Of course they don't work, but he refuses to part with them. And the list goes on and on...

 

I wouldn't normally recommend just tossing it without his sayso, because that usually causes more problems than it solves, but I will say that many hoarders (anecdotally) suddenly stop hoarding with a change of environment. You might say "Go on ahead, I'll pack the rest up and have it shipped" and then just quietly only pack up the essentials. Of course, if this explodes in your face, we never had this conversation.

[MercyA]

Tell us! Or PM me..

 

Me too, me too!!!  :D

[BusyMom5]

Hugs, my FIL collected old cars, lots of junk- think American PIckers.  It's been 3 years and DH is still going through it and trying to sell it here and there... and the money goes to my MIL while my DH gets to clean it all up.  We will never do this to our kids!  My MIL also collects stuff, but it will be easier to manage since it's household stuff.  I will say that I have enjoyed seeing some of DH's old art work!  SHe keeps all of the kids letters and notes, most of DH"s old toys my kids have played with.  We helped them move about 10 years ago... there were clothes that DH had worn in elementary school! 

[HollyDay]

Do you have dc who will need or want things in the not too distant future?  I have 1 dc in college and 1 about to graduate high school.   I know in the not too distant future they will be in need of pot and pans, plates, etc.  They might not love the china pattern, but it is something they will need to purchase right away if they can use their grandmothers' set. 

 

Otherwise, charity, friends, church pantry, etc. will usually have needs.  Mother gave all of daddy's clothes to the local charity who works with young men coming out of difficult circmstances and trying to get a job.  His suits were greatly appreciated.  Some of these young men had very little, so they needed tshirts, socks, belts, etc. 

 

An IRL friend had several wedding invitations so she offered the brides-to-be a chance to "shop" and pick out their wedding gift from her mother's home. 

 

And by the way, I do keep old Christmas cards for a few years.  :)  When the girls were little, they liked making bookmarks out of them.  If you have a craftsy friend, you might ask if they want any for a project. 

[PrairieSong]

OK, I just found Mom's little notebook diary of a trip to NYC and Paris that she took with her sister in the 60's. They saw Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl and she wrote how impressive the show was and that it "made us hope Barbra is around a long time." 🙂

 

Some of these finds are worth all the sorting.

 

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[TechWife]

I just finished cleaning out my parents house. I totally understand this!

 

I am now in possession of one of my second grade art pictures. Yes, she kept it and one my brother did that is identical to it (we had the same teacher for second grade).

 

But the stuff - the corn pads, eyeglass cleaner, weird kitchen gadgets, paperclips - it goes on and on.

 

We had a lot of business records from the businesses they owned - its actually cost effective to have a shredder truck come if you have ten banker-sized boxes that need to be shredded.

 

Right now the house is getting some repairs done and painted, then we will put it on the market.

[Liz CA]

As far as letters and cards go...I have letters from my grandmother who passed in 1990. They will likely still be here when I go. Nobody in my family can read them since she spoke a different language. :)

[J-rap]

OK, I just found Mom's little notebook diary of a trip to NYC and Paris that she took with her sister in the 60's. They saw Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl and she wrote how impressive the show was and that it "made us hope Barbra is around a long time." 🙂

 

Some of these finds are worth all the sorting.

 

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If I kept nothing else, I'd keep things like that.  I found a journal that my grandmother kept when she and her best friend took a train from the Midwest to Seattle.  That was probably in the 1920's, and they were in their 20's.  It was sooo fun to read.  That was quite an adventure for two young women in those days.  The only thing is, handwriting was so different then.  (cursive)  I had a hard time deciphering all of it.  Someday I want to sit down with it and really work hard at reading it and maybe typing it up on my computer.

[SebastianCat]

OK, I just found Mom's little notebook diary of a trip to NYC and Paris that she took with her sister in the 60's. They saw Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl and she wrote how impressive the show was and that it "made us hope Barbra is around a long time." 🙂

 

Some of these finds are worth all the sorting.

 

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These are the treasures you'll find among all of the insignificant stuff.   Definitely take your time going through all of the minutiae.  

 

Our favorite "find" was a land grant from the 1857, signed by President James Buchanan, deeding land to DH's ancestor in the same county where MIL and FIL grew up.   The grant certificate was folded up in an old metal fishing tackle box at the top of FIL's closet.    It's now framed and hanging on our wall.

[LucyStoner]

Crazy story--someone I know did this. It took weeks, but he had been figuring on days.

Toward the end there was this old box they found, rusty, but locked. They didn't have a key, it was pretty lightweight so probably empty, and they were going to just toss it. So they put it out in the rubbish, but then he thought, well, I guess I really should get that thing open just in case. And it was full of cash; about $30,000. "Emergency money" they figured.

We found a box at my FILs and tossed it, thought better of it and found yet another loaded gun with no safety. It got to the point we felt it wasn't safe to have our toddler son running about while we were working.

[Storygirl]

If I kept nothing else, I'd keep things like that.  I found a journal that my grandmother kept when she and her best friend took a train from the Midwest to Seattle.  That was probably in the 1920's, and they were in their 20's.  It was sooo fun to read.  That was quite an adventure for two young women in those days.  The only thing is, handwriting was so different then.  (cursive)  I had a hard time deciphering all of it.  Someday I want to sit down with it and really work hard at reading it and maybe typing it up on my computer.

 

My grandmother also supposedly made a cross-country trip with friends when she was a young woman. She was born in 1904, so it was probably in the 20's. But they drove a Model T and changed all the flat tires themselves!

 

Alas, this is just a story my mother told, but I haven't found any documents.

 

Somewhere there is a little diary from this same grandmother. I read it a long time ago. It's the kind of journal with just a few lines for each day of the week. On one week she wrote something like, "Went out to eat with Henry on Tuesday and George on Wednesday. Guess which one I like better?" She married George. :001_smile:

[J-rap]

My grandmother also supposedly made a cross-country trip with friends when she was a young woman. She was born in 1904, so it was probably in the 20's. But they drove a Model T and changed all the flat tires themselves!

 

Alas, this is just a story my mother told, but I haven't found any documents.

 

Somewhere there is a little diary from this same grandmother. I read it a long time ago. It's the kind of journal with just a few lines for each day of the week. On one week she wrote something like, "Went out to eat with Henry on Tuesday and George on Wednesday. Guess which one I like better?" She married George. :001_smile:

 

Ha, that's so funny!  My grandmother had similar stories of her beaus.  Lunch out with one, quick change of clothes, and dinner out with the other.  Eventually she married one of them.  Maybe multi-dating like that was more common in those days!  :) 

[gaillardia]

We have a few very old post cards from my husband's family but we have kept them. If we decide to get rid of them I'll check Etsy or eBay. We'll be having an estate sale to get rid of what is left of my parents' stuff, after family members take what they want.

 

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I have kept more than most people would and they mostly contained short little notes, reminds me of texting! Sadly, some rude comments to each other about the "other" sister were also frequent. I know they're not worth anything, but I LOVE the artistry on the front! 

One sister on the other side of the family kept her postcards in a scrapbook and I have kept those as well.

Ones from things like the New York City World's Fair are worth a few bucks.

I know time is a valuable asset but I would not think of throwing a "few dollars" (old post cards) into the trash if I came across them. 

And to me, the post cards are like journal entries. Some were sentiments of love from my grandfather to grandmother. 

[ashfern]

When my grandparents were moving from their house to assisted living my mom & sister went to help. These grands are my mom's ex-ILs. They kept finding 2 of everything (VCR, DVD players, etc) that were still in the box. Grandpa would buy two when it was a good deal so he could have a back-up in case the first one broke. They were putting stuff out on the porch for the charity to pick up that he agreed could be donated and then he would take it back in after they had gone but before the charity had come to pick it up.

[Tanaqui]

If I kept nothing else, I'd keep things like that.  I found a journal that my grandmother kept when she and her best friend took a train from the Midwest to Seattle.  That was probably in the 1920's, and they were in their 20's.  It was sooo fun to read.  That was quite an adventure for two young women in those days.  The only thing is, handwriting was so different then.  (cursive)  I had a hard time deciphering all of it.  Someday I want to sit down with it and really work hard at reading it and maybe typing it up on my computer.

 

You might ask a local historical society if they're interested in doing it for you - scanning it in and transcribing it. The worst they can do is say no.

[East Coast Sue]

I've been struggling to go through my mom's stuff. It is so hard! My mom maintained a wardrobe that I estimate at well over 500 outfits- dresses, blouses, skirts- nice clothes! She had so much that it is really overwhelming. I'm so sad that she is gone but kinda hurt that I'm stuck with the burden of going through everything and it has taken months of working on the weekends. My dad is too emotionally upset to even think about helping me.

 

Hugs to you.

 

 

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[TechWife]

I also encourage everyone to be careful when looking through papers. There was a box of papers that my brother just wanted to shred because they were so old, but I insisted on looking through it. I found a file with every single resume my dad ever had, cover letters for jobs he applied for and the newspaper ads for the jobs. I'm very glad I have it -  nearly thirty years of work history for my father - the resumes stop after he purchased the first business that they owned. After that, he never worked for anyone other than himself. I am so glad I have this glimpse into his earlier years, years that I don't remember much about because I was young when he purchased his first business. 

 

Other treasures - memory cards from funerals of distant relatives which provided good information for the family tree. Some cards are written in Dutch and some in Hungarian, but it's easy enough to figure out the name and dates. I also have my immunization record from when I was a very young as well as my parents' immunization records, including the polio vaccines they received as adults when they first became available.  

 

[KatieJ]

This thread reminds me of why I get my haircut and make a donation, every month.

[StephanieZ]

I *feel your pain* . . .

 

I'm aggressively giving things away. My college girl has a fully stocked kitchen and multiple sets of linens, courtesy of Grandma's stuff. A local refugee got a brand new set of Corelle, for 6, last month, courtesy of Grandma . . . I give things away every time I can find someone who can benefit from it. 

 

I have taken to torching the cards/letters/yearbooks/etc of my own. A basement flood got me started, and now I'm on a rampage. Who could possibly be interested in my high school year books? I'm not!! So, out they went!! I admit I haven't torched Mom and Dad's memorabilia, still mostly in boxes and cupboards, but I *have* torched the "signature only" cards and the from-someone-noone-knows cards, etc. 

 

Little by little, out it goes!!

[Jyhwkmama]

I'm sorry, that must be difficult.  I can't imagine how emotional it will be for me when I have to do that!  The emotions will be the hardest thing, because we are such a close family.

 

I'm trying to be much more frugal in what I save.  I know my kids will all be curious to see what's in our "suspicious trunk" in our attic though.  That will probably be the first thing they want to investigate.  We inherited a trunk from a very old neighbor when we were first married, who had a very suspicious past.  He was born in the late 1800's.  His trunk held... wow, I can't even say here!  haha   :D  We've kept it all these years.

 

 

You have to tell us. The curiosity will kill me. :)

[TechWife]

I've been struggling to go through my mom's stuff. It is so hard! My mom maintained a wardrobe that I estimate at well over 500 outfits- dresses, blouses, skirts- nice clothes! She had so much that it is really overwhelming. I'm so sad that she is gone but kinda hurt that I'm stuck with the burden of going through everything and it has taken months of working on the weekends. My dad is too emotionally upset to even think about helping me.

 

Hugs to you.

 

 

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:grouphug:

[PrairieSong]

If I kept nothing else, I'd keep things like that. I found a journal that my grandmother kept when she and her best friend took a train from the Midwest to Seattle. That was probably in the 1920's, and they were in their 20's. It was sooo fun to read. That was quite an adventure for two young women in those days. The only thing is, handwriting was so different then. (cursive) I had a hard time deciphering all of it. Someday I want to sit down with it and really work hard at reading it and maybe typing it up on my computer.

Yes, I plan to do the same thing with Mom's writings. I also have the diary she kept at age 12.

 

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[PrairieSong]

So sorry for your loss.

 

Maybe you can take a few photos of things you think are extra special, and recycle the rest? Bring in outside help from people who aren't emotionally attached to the people, as they can get rid of things so much faster and easier.

My dh and a couple of our grown kids are helping. With the bigger stuff yes, the help is good to have, but I'm the one who needs to go through the photos and memorabilia. No one else would recognize who the people are in the photos, or know what other stuff I would want to keep. I'm getting through it. It just takes so much longer to sift through boxes of photos, cards, and letters than to, say, empty clothes out of a closet. But I'll get there.

 

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[Guest]

Last week was the first week of Lent and one of the lines of a penitential hymn says, "I have loved material possessions, and now I bear a heavy yoke."

 

I've felt this for a long time but both my dh and I are now committed to easing this burden in our own lives. Because it really is a heavy yoke for our moms and sister. And for my dh and me. But DANG...FIVE --no wait--SIX 12-place sets of dishes for two people? 7 platters for a hermit? Mercy.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and having this as the aftermath. (((Prairie)))

First, I really like that quote.

 

Second, this specter is what motivates me to keep things pared down in my home. I do not want to saddle my kids/whomever has to clean up after me with tons of disorganized stuff that they have to tussle over and figure out. It's pointless. I already have my MIL's belongings looming ahead (she is 90 and no longer able to put anything in order there) and my parents' things, whenever that has to be addressed (and they are strongly in the hoarder direction, if not to TV-show level). Thankfully, my mom is lending me photo albums and documents for my family ancestry research, so I will have a lot of that stuff put into some order that can be enjoyed presumably before their deaths. My sister did the monumental task of scanning a few decades worth of slides, so now all my parents' early marriage and my young childhood slides are on a single thumbdrive. :)

[PrairieSong]

First, I really like that quote.

 

Second, this specter is what motivates me to keep things pared down in my home. I do not want to saddle my kids/whomever has to clean up after me with tons of disorganized stuff that they have to tussle over and figure out. It's pointless. I already have my MIL's belongings looming ahead (she is 90 and no longer able to put anything in order there) and my parents' things, whenever that has to be addressed (and they are strongly in the hoarder direction, if not to TV-show level). Thankfully, my mom is lending me photo albums and documents for my family ancestry research, so I will have a lot of that stuff put into some order that can be enjoyed presumably before their deaths. My sister did the monumental task of scanning a few decades worth of slides, so now all my parents' early marriage and my young childhood slides are on a single thumbdrive. :)

Me too, Quill! I am so ready to get rid of more stuff. I don't remember my mom ever cleaning out a drawer or closet. She'd give away things to people who needed them, but she never did a big purge. She was a BIG shopper and bought multiples of things to give as gifts, so lots of brand new stuff is being given to our adult kids. She was also very sentimental. Neither of my parents could imagine giving away something given to them as a gift, and they received gifts from SO many people. Mom saved all the floral cards from family funerals of decades ago! She tended to put things away in closets and never look at them again. I know my parents were not doing any of this to burden me. They were loving and kind-hearted. But it does burden me. No way do I want our kids similarly burdened.

 

I think our kids' generation, for the most part, does not accumulate stuff to the same degree. They move around more, and they don't have many printed photos, handwritten letters, or greeting cards. Their memories are preserved digitally. Mine will be, too. Maybe we have turned a corner. Minimalism is big right now. Or are we just in a cycle? Will the pendulum swing back?

 

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[Spryte]

I did this recently for my mom. It was ... wow. So much stuff.

 

My mom is a sculptor, fairly well known. Part of her process involves spray paint, and she had a house full. She'd buy dozens of cases in case a color would be discontinued. I carted load after load to the special disposal place. We filled almost 30 of these old oil drums with cans of spray paint.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Spryte

[Guest]

I did this recently for my mom. It was ... wow. So much stuff.

 

My mom is a sculptor, fairly well known. Part of her process involves spray paint, and she had a house full. She'd buy dozens of cases in case a color would be discontinued. I carted load after load to the special disposal place. We filled almost 30 of these old oil drums with cans of spray paint.

Wow.

[DesertBlossom]

When my grandparents passed away, their kids divided up the furniture and jewelry and other "big" things and sentimental items. Then the grandkids got to go through the house and take what we wanted from what was left. My mom put me in charge of getting rid of everything that remained. We still took several trailer loads to goodwill. It took a couple weeks to go through everything even with all the "good" stuff gone. A household still just has so much stuff.