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If one more person posts on FB or Instagram about how we need to "show up"...


Janie Grace
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I'm going to scream. It was meaningful (a little) when I first heard it (maybe from Glennon, back in the old days). "Show up" as opposed to numbing or distracting yourself from your hard life. Okay, fine. But seriously, I feel like I get told to "show up" every other day. I'm HERE, okay!?!

 

Rant over. 

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Apparently everyone is telling you and nobody is telling me. What does that even mean? Is it a version of Be Present?

 

I think so. I think it's like "don't lie in bed depressed or drown your sorrows in wine or Facebook. I know you're broken and messy, but you got this, girl." 

 

ETA: I admit, this is a good message. It's just that I hear it ALL THE TIME. And I don't know why everyone is telling me and not you! Maybe the "show up" police are on to me...

Edited by Janie Grace
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Also, I'm tired of being told that life is messy. And that vulnerability is what matters. I'm just sort of over that message... it seems like women about 35 and younger have really latched onto this Brene Brown/Glennon vibe and just recycle it over and over in their social media posts.

 

I know that I'm being snarky. I know it's a free country. It's just not a message that resonates with me anymore as fresh or inspiring, and I am tired of hearing it. 

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Also, I'm tired of being told that life is messy. And that vulnerability is what matters. I'm just sort of over that message... it seems like women about 35 and younger have really latched onto this Brene Brown/Glennon vibe and just recycle it over and over in their social media posts.

 

I know that I'm being snarky. I know it's a free country. It's just not a message that resonates with me anymore as fresh or inspiring, and I am tired of hearing it.

I get tired of all of the stupid little catchphrases. Does anyone really mean any of that stuff, or do they just post it so they sound more enlightened than the rest of us losers?

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Apparently everyone is telling you and nobody is telling me. What does that even mean? Is it a version of Be Present?

Ditto. I've never heard that before. Interesting.

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There's a Weight Watchers commercial that features Oprah where she asks "how do you show up in your life?" What does that even mean? I thought she was the only one that used that phrase.

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I wanna know who's showing up when I'm not the one.  Is it a pod person???  A robot?  

 

There's no one else but me who can show up for my life.  So how does this even make sense????  

 

:::nervously looks over shoulder for ShowUpTwin::::

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I wanna know who's showing up when I'm not the one.  Is it a pod person???  A robot?  

 

There's no one else but me who can show up for my life.  So how does this even make sense????  

 

:::nervously looks over shoulder for ShowUpTwin::::

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

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There's a Weight Watchers commercial that features Oprah where she asks "how do you show up in your life?" What does that even mean? I thought she was the only one that used that phrase.

I am ridiculously sick of that commercial! It sounds kind of silly and pretentious to me.

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Also, I'm tired of being told that life is messy. And that vulnerability is what matters. I'm just sort of over that message... it seems like women about 35 and younger have really latched onto this Brene Brown/Glennon vibe and just recycle it over and over in their social media posts.

 

I know that I'm being snarky. I know it's a free country. It's just not a message that resonates with me anymore as fresh or inspiring, and I am tired of hearing it.

I think I'm tracking with you... There are hard seasons we go through when yeah, life IS messy. But this message seems to send the subtle vibe that we should be content to live amidst the mess. Like it condones complacency.

 

I think there are a lot of fine lines with this sort of messaging, though. Too far in one direction, people learn to camp in the mess. Too far in the other, people are crushed by perfectionism. There's got to be a point of balance somewhere in the middle.

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There's a Weight Watchers commercial that features Oprah where she asks "how do you show up in your life?" What does that even mean? I thought she was the only one that used that phrase.

This kind of makes it sound like we have the option to call in a substitute - like a pinch hitter, designated runner or substitute teacher.

 

If I don't show up for my own life every day, there's no one else to live it for me. So yeah, I think that one's kinda stupid.

 

ETA lol I just read through to patty joanna's answer. I suppose i should check underneath the bed!!!

Edited by Seasider
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I think I'm tracking with you... There are hard seasons we go through when yeah, life IS messy. But this message seems to send the subtle vibe that we should be content to live amidst the mess. Like it condones complacency.

 

I think there are a lot of fine lines with this sort of messaging, though. Too far in one direction, people learn to camp in the mess. Too far in the other, people are crushed by perfectionism. There's got to be a point of balance somewhere in the middle.

 

Yes, I think that's it. So much focus on how "messy" life is (and if you don't admit this, you are kidding yourself and inauthentic) --  but it feels like people can get stuck there, analyzing/embracing/being defined by the "mess" and acting like it's inevitable. For ME, it's often more fruitful to focus on what isn't messy and just get on with doing life. I can be real/authentic with those around me without all the fanfare of "look how real I am."

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I get tired of all of the stupid little catchphrases. Does anyone really mean any of that stuff, or do they just post it so they sound more enlightened than the rest of us losers?

 

Yup, I hate them too.

 

The one I hear all the time is, "We are doing life together."

 

Um, we have dinner twice a month.  We share snippets of our lives.....we don't "do life" together.  However, if you would like to come over and help me clean my house, that would be great!

 

And then there is the ubiquitous "It is what it is."  Um, ok, but if you are complaining about it, then find something you can do to change it!  Stop the fatalism.

 

And the, "life happens."   Wow, so deep.  Are you getting that tattooed on your shoulder?  

 

I think I am in a cranky mood today.

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My friends post pictures of things like a horse rocking a baby, a cat disregarding a cat door and just opening the big door, and beautiful pictures of flowers, scenery, food. etc.  Haven't seen any show up posts but then I don't think I have any female friends in their later 20's and 30's.  My friends are my age, older, a bit younger, and kids I knew who have now grown up.  

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I get tired of all of the stupid little catchphrases. Does anyone really mean any of that stuff, or do they just post it so they sound more enlightened than the rest of us losers?

 

And so many of them aren't even logical. Or the grammar is terrible. I have a lot of younger people on mine FB though. Teens and young adults up through 30 seem to be the worst.

 

But I do have a friend close to my age who every. Other. Day posts some woe is me post about how she is is such a caring person and she knows she shouldn't expect others to care but she is still always surprised that people are so mean. She finally I friended me. Thank Heavens!

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Hmm, I get to check off my "Learn Something New Every Day" box early today.  I had no idea this was even a thing going around, nor have I seen Oprah's commercial.

 

Perhaps this means no one cares if I show up?

 

Or they've figured out I'm definitely there already?  

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I think it's part of living an authentic life.   Another thing I don't get.  How can anyone's real life be inauthentic?  

 

I guess there have always been little catchphrases that people say.  Little meaningless things that seem to have meaning but actually don't.  Of course I can't think of any from the past.  "Keep on keepin' on."  '60s or '70s?  

 

 

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Maybe instead you could "lean in" or "embrace today" or "dance in the rain (you know, "like nobody is watching"). That way you could remember that it's about the "moments that take our breath away"...

 

LOL. Can you tell I totally agree with you??

 

Hahaha! 

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This post made me laugh. I'm glad I'm not the only cranky one. Actually, most of the stuff on social media in "command" form--Show up for your life! Get outside today! Take some time for YOU today! Hug your kids! and even Vote! annoy me. Why are you telling me what to do? 

 

The only commands I don't mind are things that are actually required--like stop signs, 

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I think I'm tracking with you... There are hard seasons we go through when yeah, life IS messy. But this message seems to send the subtle vibe that we should be content to live amidst the mess. Like it condones complacency.

I think there are a lot of fine lines with this sort of messaging, though. Too far in one direction, people learn to camp in the mess. Too far in the other, people are crushed by perfectionism. There's got to be a point of balance somewhere in the middle.

Disclaimer: I have a very literal black and white brain.

 

Seasider, if you were being sarcastic, You are my new favorite person today!

 

If you were being serious... ummm....

Edited by Rebel Yell
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This post made me laugh. I'm glad I'm not the only cranky one. Actually, most of the stuff on social media in "command" form--Show up for your life! Get outside today! Take some time for YOU today! Hug your kids! and even Vote! annoy me. Why are you telling me what to do? 

 

The only commands I don't mind are things that are actually required--like stop signs, 

 

Ok, if it's compared this way, then I might be in the minority as I liked the reminders to stop and smell the roses along life's journey.  I can't stand ruts, so perhaps that's the difference?  The slogans are reminding/encouraging folks to step out of their rut and we like hearing what we can relate to?  (Pondering reasons why it might be more appealing for me...)

 

We're at the stage of life now (empty nest) where hubby and I wonder where all the time went, but it's filled with memories of all the things we did rather than "same old, same old."  We really appreciate that.  We hear too many stories from older folks (and peers) talking about what they wish they had done, but were always too busy for so it would come "later."  

 

(NOTE:  Not all of these are financial big spending deals either.  We took a "family day" off each week and would go hiking/geocaching or play board games, etc.  It was just a break from our rut giving us many fond memories.

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I would find that irritating. Like being told to appreciate something annoys me, too.

 

Haven't heard it, and don't understand the Brene Brown or Glennon reference either - does this mean I'm old? Uh oh.

 

Here you go...

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2014/05/09/wait-better-show/

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2016/05/06/heres-to-the-mamas/

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2015/08/26/just-show-up/

 

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/625801-courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen

 

And here is Brene talking about her online classes: "It’s an online learning community that offers eCourses, workshops, and interviews developed for all of us who are committed to fully showing up in our lives – to being brave, leaning into vulnerability, and rumbling with the challenges that come with living a daring life."

 

It's EVERYWHERE. 

 

I'm more word-sensitive than some. I am always the person getting irritated by the current "hot" phrase/word that is rendered meaningless by overuse (or was stupid to begin with); I realize not everyone shares this quirk. I don't think it means you're old; I think it means you are laid-back and not cranky like me.

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There's a Weight Watchers commercial that features Oprah where she asks "how do you show up in your life?" What does that even mean? I thought she was the only one that used that phrase.

There was some commercial about Oprah's most recent Weight Watchers success in which she says, "I have finally made peace with my body" or something close to that. I *Swear* I remember her saying this a couple decades ago, back when she had that book with her chef or whatever it was. When she was promoting that book, she literally said the same thing about being "at peace" with her weight/shape/size.

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<snip>

And here is Brene talking about her online classes: "It’s an online learning community that offers eCourses, workshops, and interviews developed for all of us who are committed to fully showing up in our lives – to being brave, leaning into vulnerability, and rumbling with the challenges that come with living a daring life."

 

It's EVERYWHERE. 

 

I'm more word-sensitive than some. I am always the person getting irritated by the current "hot" phrase/word that is rendered meaningless by overuse (or was stupid to begin with); I realize not everyone shares this quirk. I don't think it means you're old; I think it means you are laid-back and not cranky like me.

 

Right.  It's everywhere.  But, when I try to read stuff like that - it's empty.  A low signal to noise ratio.  

 

Re: a different comment about people being reminded to get out of their ruts (paraphrased).  "Rut" has a very negative connotation.  Not many people are going to say they are happy when they're in a rut.  But some people don't need a lot of change in their lives. They're happy to make a living, raise their families, help their kids do a little bit better than they (the parents) did.  Not everyone needs world travel or loads of exciting experiences to not be in a rut.  And frequent reminders to slow down and enjoy the journey become background  noise quickly anyway - at least for me. 

 

And re: "being brave" (in the quoted post above) - sometimes being brave means staying where you are, living the life you committed to (or were given by circumstances, fate, God,,,), taking care of business, even if you see something over the fence that looks much more appealing.  

 

But, you know, I am old and cranky.  For sure.  :-)

Edited by marbel
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Yup, I hate them too.

 

The one I hear all the time is, "We are doing life together."

 

Um, we have dinner twice a month. We share snippets of our lives.....we don't "do life" together. However, if you would like to come over and help me clean my house, that would be great!

 

And then there is the ubiquitous "It is what it is." Um, ok, but if you are complaining about it, then find something you can do to change it! Stop the fatalism.

 

And the, "life happens." Wow, so deep. Are you getting that tattooed on your shoulder?

 

I think I am in a cranky mood today.

I have to object, here. I love, "It is what it is." I almost bought that on a plaque. It's just such a perfect summary of reality. Don't like dinner? It is what it is.

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Right.  It's everywhere.  But, when I try to read stuff like that - it's empty.  A low signal to noise ratio.  

 

Re: a different comment about people being reminded to get out of their ruts (paraphrased).  "Rut" has a very negative connotation.  Not many people are going to say they are happy when they're in a rut.  But some people don't need a lot of change in their lives. They're happy to make a living, help their kids do a little bit better than they (the parents) did.  Not everyone needs world travel or loads exciting experiences to not be in a rut.  

 

And re: "being brave" (in the quoted post above) - sometimes being brave means staying where you are, living the life you committed to (or were given by circumstances, fate, God,,,), taking care of business, even if you see something over the fence that looks much more appealing.  

 

But, you know, I am old and cranky.  For sure.  :-)

 

Yes, yes, yes! I think there's this movement now that's making people really discontent. It's cloaked in flashy, touchy-feely juju but most people I know who buy it don't actually seem happy. We are all supposed to be finding that ONE THING, that wild dream that we just need to take a leap and LIVE! But honestly, I think most people throughout history live beautiful lives just simply doing their thing. I think the pressure to be brave and show up and all that can make perfectly normal people feel like they are somehow shallow. 

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Here you go...

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2014/05/09/wait-better-show/

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2016/05/06/heres-to-the-mamas/

 

http://momastery.com/blog/2015/08/26/just-show-up/

 

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/625801-courage-starts-with-showing-up-and-letting-ourselves-be-seen

 

And here is Brene talking about her online classes: "It’s an online learning community that offers eCourses, workshops, and interviews developed for all of us who are committed to fully showing up in our lives – to being brave, leaning into vulnerability, and rumbling with the challenges that come with living a daring life."

 

It's EVERYWHERE. 

 

I'm more word-sensitive than some. I am always the person getting irritated by the current "hot" phrase/word that is rendered meaningless by overuse (or was stupid to begin with); I realize not everyone shares this quirk. I don't think it means you're old; I think it means you are laid-back and not cranky like me.

 

So... what's it say about me when I'm too lazy to click on the links to keep up with the "modern world" and all its trying to teach me?   :lol:

 

I definitely mean lazy.  I'm sitting here in the shade of a palm tree looking out over blue water watching boats, birds, and assorted other things pass by while feeling the breeze.  Hubby is next to me working (remotely for his job), but I'm purely being lazy and enjoying the heck out of it.  Does that mean I'm not showing up ready to take on the world and learn?  (To be fair, we got 4 1/2 miles of walking in earlier today, but not exactly because we were trying to get in shape... we might have also had ice cream to negate any calorie loss from the exercise.)

 

That's my version of stopping and smelling the roses along life's highway.  If their "show up" means something more active or accomplishing anything, then I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum I guess.

 

Maybe I should click on the links... nah... too much thought involved if I read something and need to think about it right now.

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So... what's it say about me when I'm too lazy to click on the links to keep up with the "modern world" and all its trying to teach me?   :lol:

 

I definitely mean lazy.  I'm sitting here in the shade of a palm tree looking out over blue water watching boats, birds, and assorted other things pass by while feeling the breeze.  Hubby is next to me working (remotely for his job), but I'm purely being lazy and enjoying the heck out of it.  Does that mean I'm not showing up ready to take on the world and learn?  (To be fair, we got 4 1/2 miles of walking in earlier today, but not exactly because we were trying to get in shape... we might have also had ice cream to negate any calorie loss from the exercise.)

 

That's my version of stopping and smelling the roses along life's highway.  If their "show up" means something more active or accomplishing anything, then I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum I guess.

 

Maybe I should click on the links... nah... too much thought involved if I read something and need to think about it right now.

 

Definitely do NOT click on those links. I think you're showing up (since you aren't hiding in your bed) but it would probably help your showing-up rating if you posted a really personal confessional on your blog or maybe if you called someone and confronted them for how they have hurt you. I'm pretty sure showing up involves being emotionally gritty. 

 

Yeah, don't show up. Your day sounds far too delightful to mar it with any of this showing up nonsense. ;)

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"show up" is a chapter in one of Shauna Neiquists Food named books. Made me feel pretty guilty as we often don't show up for family members due to (their) mental illness. How do you show up when people are ready to roast you for dinner? Self preservation over showing up, any day. Where's that book chapter, I'd like to know?!

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Definitely do NOT click on those links. I think you're showing up (since you aren't hiding in your bed) but it would probably help your showing-up rating if you posted a really personal confessional on your blog or maybe if you called someone and confronted them for how they have hurt you. I'm pretty sure showing up involves being emotionally gritty. 

 

Yeah, don't show up. Your day sounds far too delightful to mar it with any of this showing up nonsense. ;)

 

Yikes!  I spent a couple of decades of my life learning to not let the little things bug me... even when not under palm trees ignoring most of the world.  I like the conclusion from those catch phrases better.

 

Maybe this is like styles/fashion where every few years/decades they switch to make more in sales?

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When I hear verbal twaddle like that, I can't help but think of pioneer women who managed to "show up" and survive raising their families under brutal circumstances, but *somehow* didn't have to tell themselves and the rest of the world that they were doing it.

 

Gah!

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"Emotionally gritty" made me LOL.

 

Pretty sure I was there in my 20s. Now I like life too much. Oops.

 

Now that I think of it, I have vague memories of Oprah saying to show up... wrt weight loss, somehow?

 

If it makes people happy, okay.

 

Still - if you remember EST or lived through the 80s, or if you want to see a caricature of people who got into that ... check out The Americans ... one of the characters gets sucked into EST and it sounds similar. Not Christian, I don't think, but same ideas. This stuff is always around. The 90s had Marianne Williamson and her crowd...

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Our favorite Oprah quotes are "I love bread!" and "I love chips!" and then we take it a step further with "I love ice cream!" and other obvious foods that everyone loves. 

 

This spoof cracked us up. 

http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Oprah-Loves-Bread-Weight-Watchers-Video-Maya-Rudolph-41589385

 

I really cannot relate to her on any other level at this point. 

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I have to object, here. I love, "It is what it is." I almost bought that on a plaque. It's just such a perfect summary of reality. Don't like dinner? It is what it is.

 

People spend time and money on acceptance therapy to achieve "it is what it is."

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It's probably cheaper to buy it on a plaque and read it every day - more than once if necessary.

I'd have to buy a case of the stupid plaques, because every time I looked at one, I'd tell it to stop telling me what to do, and I'd keep throwing them in the garbage.

 

I'm not big on motivational plaques, in case you hadn't noticed. ;)

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