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Please remind me school doesn't always have to be fun....


Peaceseeker
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Elementary school was so much fun. I have no regrets about my relaxed approach, and our park days and spur of the moment play dates. Our year round schedule of taking breaks when we felt like it and our child friendly approach to academics. Seriously- it was awesome. School was like a little thing we did on the side of you know, life. And schoolwork for 4th grade and under just didn't take that long so there was plenty of time to enjoy and experience life.

 

Fast forward a few years and with two middle schoolers I am struggling. High school looms around the corner for one and I find myself totally stressed out when life interrupts my carefully made home school plans. My formerly relaxed homeschool suddenly feels 'schooly' and more checking off the boxes than ever before. The basics take so long there doesn't seem as much time for rabbit trails, and my kids just want to get school done so they can get to their myriad of activities. Despite me lovingly choosing the most engaging, child friendly, middle school resources for the type of learners they are, it just doesn't feel fun.

 

Someone tell me this is ok. Please. Because I have decided that (gasp) school may just not be fun for my kids despite my best efforts. They are not academic like I was, and they just want to get it done. I get frustrated that they just want to check the boxes and get school done and that it doesn't feel like that homeschool postcard in my head, kwim? We are not doing too much, not nearly as much as some on these boards in middle school. But it just feels like going through the motions lots of days and checking off the boxes. And if middle school feels like this, the thought of high school gives me cold shudders.

 

Can anyone relate? Or do your kids all just love their work? Now my kids will tell you they love homeschool (as in they have no desire to go to a brick and mortar) but sometimes I feel like I failed in creating this deep love of learning. I am not sure where I went wrong. They have a lot of other interests and passions outside of school they pursue, and their hearts lead that way. I remind myself I was surrounded by people in school who did not enjoy school. But that was not what I was trying to create at home!

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My 6th and 7th graders just want to check the boxes unlike my studious husband but much better than me as I slept in school.

 

ETA:

I had insomnia since I was born but the academic part of the school day was boring.

Edited by Arcadia
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Learning happens in many, many forms.  Don't feel like you failed if your kids have passion about learning something that is not strictly academic.  

 

Maybe look at it from another perspective.  My DH hated school.  Hated it.  He had zero interest in standard academics.  Did his parents fail in some way?  No.  They were both very into academics and learning and tried to pass that on to their kids.  Thankfully, they recognized that just because their eldest son had no interest in school did not mean he had no interests period.  He had a lot of passions outside of standard academics.  He loved learning.  He just loved learning things that are not normally emphasized in school.  They supported his outside interests and gave him the scaffolding to pursue those outside interests.  Those passions carried him far.  He turned some of his hobbies and interests into a very successful career and others into life long side hobbies that have also opened some amazing doors for him.  He is still learning and passionate about it.  He just never was passionate about standard academic fair.

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Learning happens in many, many forms. Don't feel like you failed if your kids have passion about learning something that is not strictly academic.

 

Maybe look at it from another perspective. My DH hated school. Hated it. He had zero interest in standard academics. Did his parents fail in some way? No. They were both very into academics and learning and tried to pass that on to their kids. Thankfully, they recognized that just because their eldest son had no interest in school did not mean he had no interests period. He had a lot of passions outside of standard academics. He loved learning. He just loved learning things that are not normally emphasized in school. They supported his outside interests and gave him the scaffolding to pursue those outside interests. Those passions carried him far. He turned some of his hobbies and interests into a very successful career and others into life long side hobbies that have also opened some amazing doors for him. He is still learning and passionate about it. He just never was passionate about standard academic fair.

I need this reminder. Of course it would be helpful if my son would broaden his passions beyond video games, sigh...

 

My daughter has many varied creative interests. Just not academic. Dance, theater, voice, art, creative writing among others.

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Your role here is to train a responsible adults.  Part of being a responsible adult is doing things we despise because, either, they are better for us in the long run, or an authority over us tells us this is the case.  Working through this diligently is doing your children a favor.

 

We are in exactly the same place with DS11, DS12 and DS13.

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Maybe you can help your son find passions.  Treat your kids areas of interest as having value, because honestly those areas of interest DO have value.  Help them hone those skills and find ways to tap into those areas of interest for possible future goals.  

 

My DD has never had much interest in academics.  However, along the course of our time homeschooling (started in 6th grade) she discovered that she loved art.  I encouraged her interest in art and got her on-line classes and some sessions with a local artist and provided her with materials and supported her passion.  That passion eventually led to an interest in Art History (even though she LOATHED history).  And also an interest in Geometry (even though she struggled terribly in math for quite a while).  Both of those interests have circled back around and gotten her more focused on the academic side of things.  And now she is looking at pursuing a career in graphic design.   She wants to do well academically so that she can follow her passions.

 

The way I see things now is that academics are a means to an end, not the end themselves.  For some of us being a perpetual student and pursuing academics the rest of our lives would be a dream come true.  However, for the vast majority of people academics are what they are required to do to reach other end goals.  Maybe they enjoy that part of their journey and maybe they don't.  If they enjoy it, hey great!  If they enjoy some of it, hey great!  If they don't, well, maybe it will work better if they at least have passions they ARE interested in so they can have things to look forward to when academics are out of the way for the day.  And in the end those passions outside of strict academics may help them to find purpose in the academics because the academics can help them pursue those passions as a career.  Does that make sense?

 

Here is a TED talk that you might find interesting...

https://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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And I agree, we also have to learn that there are things in life that just have to get done, whether we find them fun or not.  You haven't failed as a parent if they don't love academics.  Lots of people are not enamored of academics.  Help them pursue areas they are interested in while they also work through their academic requirements.  Try helping them maybe pursue some areas of interest in an academic way but I don't think you have to jump through hoops to make every subject fun and I certainly don't think you should feel like a failure for them not finding academics to be the be all and end all of existence.  

 

No worries.  Hang in there.

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I am totally there with you! Dd12 and dd10 just want to get it done. Never mind that I added in learning games and fun literature to accompany the lesson for them to enjoy. Just give them a workbook and tell them which pages to work and they seem happier. Bleh!! I liked school and wished my mother would have been more out of the box with my education. Instead, I was forced to endure a certain boxed curriculum that felt more like punishment for a crime I didn't commit.

 

However, my girls do have outside interests. I keep reminding myself that I've done the best I could to get them excited about their school work and that is just who they are. I can try again with another set of Littles though.

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Well, this might not help, but my dd12, after being homeschooled for two years, begged and begged to be put back into public school.  So, that's what we did.  She just learns better from someone other than me.  The irony of it though, is that now when she's struggling with her homework, she ASKS me to help her.  In fact she has said, "It's a good thing I have a smart mom, otherwise I'd be failing all my classes."

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Of course it would be helpful if my son would broaden his passions beyond video games, sigh...

 

My daughter has many varied creative interests. Just not academic. Dance, theater, voice, art, creative writing among others.

My DS11 loves to play iPad games. I just ration him to approx one hour of playtime per 3 hrs of academic time. He does work slower because he is easily distracted so 6hrs of seatwork is more like 3hrs worth if he decides to concentrate. Also I made him do some simple game programming courses like Scratch.

 

Dance, theater, voice, art are all Fine Arts. You can turn it into a Fine Arts elective or as an extracurricular activity or even as community service (performing for seniors)

creative writing is part of Language arts.

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Have you tried Charlotte Mason's approach to schooling? Maybe it would fit your family.

Some times though, school just isn't fun. As they get older the subjects get harder and more demanding.

Find what they like and run with it. Pull them through the rest the best you can. They need those core subjects- even if they think they're as boring as dirt. :laugh:

I wish elementary school years wouldn't go by so fast!

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Have you considered taking a few weeks to focus on "character" issues that would help them to see their

Homeschool a little different. ...and no, I don't think school should always be fun. It's a valuable life skill to learn to do things that will make us better people (even if it isn't fun!) we need to learn how to eat healthy and exercise even though it isn't fun. We need to learn to go to work every day and manage our finances, and that is not fun. It sounds like you're preparing them well for adulthood.

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My DS11 loves to play iPad games. I just ration him to approx one hour of playtime per 3 hrs of academic time. He does work slower because he is easily distracted so 6hrs of seatwork is more like 3hrs worth if he decides to concentrate. Also I made him do some simple game programming courses like Scratch.

 

 

 

We restrict video game play mightily, Tues, Fri & Sat. 1 hr 20 min Tues/Fri, 2 hours Sat. And that's it. Unless he earns time for As on quizzes and tests. Incentives work great! 

 

As for school not being fun, yea we got there too around middle school with box-checking. Now that we're in high school, it's even moreso with box-checking as the requirements are rigorous - and we've opted to outsource for the first time nearly everything (easier for 14 yo ds to adhere to others' deadlines) - and while he wouldn't say he loves school, he is learning a lot and would definitely say for most of his classes (all except 1 really), he's enjoying the learning. So that's a plus. :-) Hang in there. 

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Elementary school was so much fun. I have no regrets about my relaxed approach, and our park days and spur of the moment play dates. Our year round schedule of taking breaks when we felt like it and our child friendly approach to academics. Seriously- it was awesome. School was like a little thing we did on the side of you know, life. And schoolwork for 4th grade and under just didn't take that long so there was plenty of time to enjoy and experience life.

 

Fast forward a few years and with two middle schoolers I am struggling. High school looms around the corner for one and I find myself totally stressed out when life interrupts my carefully made home school plans. My formerly relaxed homeschool suddenly feels 'schooly' and more checking off the boxes than ever before. The basics take so long there doesn't seem as much time for rabbit trails, and my kids just want to get school done so they can get to their myriad of activities. Despite me lovingly choosing the most engaging, child friendly, middle school resources for the type of learners they are, it just doesn't feel fun.

 

Someone tell me this is ok. Please. Because I have decided that (gasp) school may just not be fun for my kids despite my best efforts. They are not academic like I was, and they just want to get it done. I get frustrated that they just want to check the boxes and get school done and that it doesn't feel like that homeschool postcard in my head, kwim? We are not doing too much, not nearly as much as some on these boards in middle school. But it just feels like going through the motions lots of days and checking off the boxes. And if middle school feels like this, the thought of high school gives me cold shudders.

 

Can anyone relate? Or do your kids all just love their work? Now my kids will tell you they love homeschool (as in they have no desire to go to a brick and mortar) but sometimes I feel like I failed in creating this deep love of learning. I am not sure where I went wrong. They have a lot of other interests and passions outside of school they pursue, and their hearts lead that way. I remind myself I was surrounded by people in school who did not enjoy school. But that was not what I was trying to create at home!

 

We were also very relaxed. And then there was the year when the dc were 9 and 12yo, and we moved from San Diego to San Jose, and for some reason I lost my mind. We started in September with a book for every subject, We did school every.single.day, even in the car on the way to park day or field trips. I put the books away at Thanksgiving, which was our usual routine, but instead of picking them up again in January, I ignored them. Around February or March, the dc began looking at me out the corners of their eyes, and finally one of them asked if we were going to Do School. I said No, and she heaved a sigh of relief and carried on with her life. :-) That summer, Mary Harrington (co-author of Latin in the Christian Trivium) began teaching Latin to some of us homeschoolers, and in January, older dd began taking an art class at the community college (I took it with her); she had her 14th birthday in class. In the fall, she took Latin and...something else which I have forgotten, because over 20 years ago. :-)  Younger dd also began taking classes at the c.c. when she was 14.

 

All this to say that you don't necessarily have to begin recreating a classroom at home just because your children have reached a certain age (not that they are now "middle schoolers" but that they are a certain age). In fact, it might be better if you revamped what you're doing so your children don't have any boxes to check or school to get done. The goal is to learn, and to prepare for the next step, whatever that is. You don't have to do every day Just Like School for that to happen.

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My boys love videos. My DS11 doesn't read as fast as my DS12. I think that we kind of covered middle school math and science through

NOVA (some history too, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/search/results/page/1?q=&x=14&y=10&facet%5B%5D=dc.format%3A%22Video%22 ),

Numberphile (https://m.youtube.com/user/numberphile),

periodic table of elements (https://m.youtube.com/user/periodicvideos),

Crash Course (https://m.youtube.com/user/crashcourse) and

Dr Benjamin's Joy of Math videos on YouTube.

 

We restrict video game play mightily, Tues, Fri & Sat. 1 hr 20 min Tues/Fri, 2 hours Sat. And that's it. Unless he earns time for As on quizzes and tests. Incentives work great!

I don't know why you quote me but DS11 is doing aops intermediate algebra, thinkwell chem, edhesive ap compsci a, two German courses (WTMA, B&M), Chinese with a tutor and getting a mix of Bs and As. That's good enough for me. We do Language Arts informally as his sat and act scores are decent enough to satisfy 3 out of 4 years of a-g requirements by scores.
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I rotate the subjects I teach and how I teach them so that they are fun for my middle schooler. We have to do math. We start the day with that. Then she does Spanish, which is EasyPeasyAllInOne homeschool, so online and mostly videos, games, etc. So that is fun. Then she has her morning journal time which gets her writing and reading, but she has control over what. She loves this time. I required that she pick a science topic/books/videos for the year, a book of poetry, something for Bible, and then any novels of her choice. She does notebook pages, reads, writes, watches videos from her choices for 45 minutes a day with exercises that improve her spelling and reading from her Do It Yourself Thinking Tree Journal. She draws, colors, does nature study, watches the video series she chose for the year, a little each day. So that is really fun for her.  I would say she kind of created her own unit study here because she does spelling words, drawing, video learning, reading about her science topic. But not totally a unit because she still does Bible and young adult literature and poetry copywork and such too. But she got to pick what she works from.

 

Then we do Latin. Not a super fun subject. This point in the day is just grammar in the workbooks. We do the learning together twice a week with friends, so this part of day is box checking. Then she does her spelling book which she really loves this year. And then we do English together because she needs hand holding with it.

 

That is her morning. Back and forth between box checking subjects for her and ones she enjoys. 

 

In the afternoons we do all things together and fun- read alouds, art  and art projects, outside classes, music practice, science experiments.   We cover most of history through read alouds and projects for outside classes, but when we don't have something in particular going on, we will spend a month working on timeline books and outlining and writing summaries.  Then she has required reading of her assigned literature book at some point in the day.  We take outside classes that they enjoy in afternoons. They are both involved in several days a week in their sport. Several activities a month with scouts. Volunteering. And a day a week with co-op plus field trips, study groups, extra kid day once a month with that group. So a lot of the fun stuff comes on those days or in those classes after their morning box checking is done.

 

For us, we have found this to be one of her best school years ever for my dd12. She is motivated. She is checking boxes and getting the things done that I require. But we found a way to work things in that she loves. So she is motivated to get through the subjects that she needs to study. I do think it is more enjoyable now that I have found the things that motivate her. And I consider the arts to be a big part of both of my girls' educations. Both dance, one plays piano, both do a lot of art, one really enjoys it, and one follows along because it is important to the rest of us, lol. So the fact that after our afternoon readings the rest of the afternoon/early evenings are dedicated to the arts in some way either at home or in outside classes is fine with me.

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...it just feels like going through the motions lots of days and checking off the boxes...

...Sometimes I feel like I failed in creating this deep love of learning. I am not sure where I went wrong...

 

Gently, I think you are trying to take responsibility for something that is not your job. ;) As a homeschooler, you're responsible for overseeing your children's education and for facilitating the learning process -- not for your children's attitudes towards school -- and esp. when you've made many special efforts to make it interesting and engaging. You can't "make" anyone love to learn.

 

 

...my kids will tell you they love homeschool (as in they have no desire to go to a brick and mortar)...

...They have a lot of other interests and passions outside of school they pursue, and their hearts lead that way...

 

It sounds like your children *are* enjoying homeschooling. :hurray:

 

 

 

Elementary school was so much fun. I have no regrets about my relaxed approach, and our park days and spur of the moment play dates. Our year round schedule of taking breaks when we felt like it and our child friendly approach to academics. Seriously- it was awesome. School was like a little thing we did on the side of you know, life. And schoolwork for 4th grade and under just didn't take that long so there was plenty of time to enjoy and experience life...

 

...Because I have decided that (gasp) school may just not be fun for my kids despite my best efforts...it doesn't feel like that homeschool postcard in my head, kwim? 

 

... I remind myself I was surrounded by people in school who did not enjoy school. But that was not what I was trying to create at home!

 

Gently, it sounds like *you* are the one not having as much fun with homeschooling as you used to. :(

 

Homeschooling *does* change over the years. As children develop, they move from more imaginative play-directed and grammar stage types of learning into more formal engagement with the learning material in the logic stage. (I also think that the change also reflects the natural change in the overall parent-child relationship as the child matures and increasingly becomes independent.)

 

In homeschooling terms, in the early years, mom is intimately involved in everything the child needs, learns, and does. As the child grows into the tween ages, the child begins to grow up and become independent, and needs much less directly from mom, and receives more of the activities-interactions and learning from outside sources. Mom's role moves from being the primary teacher and activities coordinator -- to the secondary (step back one step) tutor/mentor and facilitator/administrator. So mostly mom is there for just the "hard" stuff or the "school-y" and "box-checking" parts.

 

:grouphug:  Transitioning into the homeschooling of middle school and then high school can be hard on moms, who can end up feeling like she's left "holding the bag" of having to do all the "un-fun" stuff of box-checking and administrating, while children are still doing much of the "fun" part of school -- but now outside of mom and the home.

 

It is okay -- and good! -- to recognize this shift, and to grieve the end of that stage of homeschooling that was so special in a unique way. But after that, it's good to find ways of embracing the *new* set of pros and cons that come with the new stages of homeschooling. :)

 

While homeschooling in the middle and high schools is not going to look the same as the pre-school and early elementary days you listed in your post, I do think it's possible for *both* students and mom to enjoy the experience. But everyone has to adjust expectations a bit to match the realities of middle/high school. ;)

 

From things you listed as important in your post:

1. choose materials that both get the job done and that are likely a good match for your students' learning styles and your teaching style

2. provide opportunities for exploration

3. facilitate a child's personal passion

4. to schedule in some time on a regular basis to do some "fun schooling" things

 

Sounds like you are doing #1 and #2 very well:

 

... me lovingly choosing the most engaging, child friendly, middle school resources for the type of learners they are...

 

... my kids just want to get school done so they can get to their myriad of activities...

...They have a lot of other interests and passions outside of school they pursue, and their hearts lead that way. 

 

It also sounds like you would like to get more of #3 and #4 into your homeschooling:

 

...The basics take so long there doesn't seem as much time for rabbit trails...

...it doesn't feel like that homeschool postcard in my head ...it just feels like going through the motions lots of days and checking off the boxes...

 

Ideas to help jump start your thinking of middle school in a new way:

 

I love the way that when her kids hit middle school, 8FillTheHeart has shared how she picks one subject area and creates a special course to do *with* them. (See her book Homeschooling at the Helm for more about how she does this.) She has done already-prepared courses and adapted/added to them (Literary Lessons from the Lord of the Rings; Where The River Meets The Brook), and she has created courses around her student's interests. Perhaps sit down with your students and pick one area -- History, Science, Literature, or an Elective area are usually easiest -- and brainstorm together what you'd like to do to make that subject fun and interesting next year, and have fun putting it together. Also look at Chrysalis Academy's posts for some fabulous fun studies she has designed for her older daughter for grades 6, 7, 8, and now 9th grade. :)

 

Another option is to take an outside class together WITH your students, so fun learning together:

- Art class (drawing, watercolors, painting, sculpting)

- Hands-On class (stained-glass, jewelry-making, electronics, wood-working, cake decorating, Chinese cooking...)

- Activity class (dance of some kind, martial arts, fencing...)

- both of you sign up and do a short Coursera course together on a topic that would be fun for both

- both of you sign up and do the NaNoWriMo challenge together

- both of you do a computer programming or beginning video game design class together

- go through and listen together to a Teaching Company: Great Course

 

PLAN for "fun" by blocking out 2 hours of your school time each week. (And plan on allowing some subjects to slop over into the summer, or as "homework" on a few evenings or weekends, if needed for finishing up core material in order to allow time for relaxed learning activities and for pursuing interest-driven learning.)

 

More ideas to help you stay connected with your growing children and get to do more "fun" stuff:

- shake up the routine and sometimes do school differently -- read-aloud one of your works of Literature all together -- take turns and hand off the book after each page; or, if it's a play or a novel with lots of dialogue, choose characters and do it "reader's theater" style

- don't always do written papers -- sometimes have students do oral presentations or a video or power point to sum up what 

- sometimes skip some of the "regularly scheduled material" and take the time to follow rabbit trails of interest -- schools often drop several chapters at the end of a textbook that they don't get to by year's end, why can't you drop a few topics out of your textbook or program here and there to take time to go deep with bunny trails?

- regularly schedule family field trips for activities and tours that are for older ages/adults

- schedule a weekly family game night, or a DVD movie night and then discuss the movie together

- volunteer to be the advisor or coordinator for one of your children's more academic-type of activities, so learning together in a fun way (Math-Olympiad, Science Fair entry, lead a co-op class

- host a monthly or bi-weekly book-club or movie discussion club

- host some of the social activities for your tweens/teens

- develop a learning activity, or hobby, or family activity with your children (electronics, Orienteering, 4-H dog training, music (singing or instrument playing), history recreation group participation...)

 

And, be sure to schedule time for YOU to do things that are fun for YOU, so you don't just feel like all you do is check school boxes:

- develop a new hobby

- monthly or bi-weekly book club for YOU

- take some free Coursera courses of personal interest

- get involved in community service/volunteering with a cause important to you

- regular girls night out with friends

- weekly hike and chat with hubby

 

Wishing you ALL the best as you move forward into the middle/high school years with some joy and enjoyment in your homeschooling! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited by Lori D.
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It's just reality.  Your kids have to learn to be autonomous, very soon.  And they cannot do that with you making an effort to make their entire lives fun.  Also, your home is going to feel less perfectly in-order and organized, and in fact, there are going to be whole days and even whole weeks where you allow your children to fail, so they can get up again and try again.

 

My fifteen year old is a lot like me.  IN fact, even more Type A in some cases...he gets up at 6:30, showers, gets dressed and is at his computer working by 8:30.  All neat and tidy just like I would want it.

 

My 13 year old is the opposite of me, and him.  She has her own timing and her own way of doing things and her schedule is about two hours off the rest of the entire house.  I tried forcing her to get up by 7 all last school year and she was very sick two winters in a row, and last year had sleep deprivation issues for a few months before I gave up and let her sleep till 8.  She is who she is and as long as she finds a way to get things done, I really have to back off.  :)   

 

Also, my 15 year old (the early bird, type A guy) often wants to discuss things with me...I never know when he's going to pop downstairs and want to have a talk about ethics, religion, politics or even get help learning how to study something (today he needed help with German, how to study conjugation charts.)....

 

When you add to taht the fact that teens have needs of going here and there and may develop interests that don't mesh with your own, or their siblings and then they;re starting to drive...

 

life just isn't neat and tidy in a cute little homeschool "box" with teens... :)  My teens are wonderful and I LOVE THIS season!! But it is requring more flexibility from me than ever before- way way more.  And I'm learning to be ok with that.

 

And yes, we gave up on fun school a long time ago.  They are busy, and they need to know what is expected of them.  Outsourced classes and textbooks is pretty much all we use now and they are happy and learning well, pursuing their interests and hobbies, bringing home bags and bags of library books, etc. :)

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I don't think it's as fun. There's more to do and subjects take longer, and there isn't as much freedom to call a park day school (we still did that occasionally, but not as much). 

 

It's also not your responsibility to make school "fun" for your children. Pick engaging materials, but know they will have differing likes and dislikes no matter what you do. I have one who loves history and hates science, and another who is the opposite, LOL! That's okay.

 

With that said, school can get monotonous at this stage if you let yourself feel boxed in. There are definitely choices even within a college-prep type of path through the upper grades. I would encourage you to explore incorporating more of their passions into the subjects they are doing (for example, let them study a time period or a culture they are interested in for history, or let them do a non-traditional science to pursue interests, etc...) Check out my article on Priorities and Passions as you think through what to do next year.

 

Hang in there!

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Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think the biggest thing is just that my kids are not ever going to be those academic type of kids who love digging through primary sources in the original languages, lol...They really want to get this stuff done and get on to the things they enjoy. I am trying to learn not to be offended by this ;) I would have been thrilled at the idea of a stack of dusty books and learning ancient languages instead of being bored to death in public school. I am such a nerd really, lol...

 

They do the work and have good attitudes and honestly it is a relief that they can do some on their own now. But it is very different than elementary and there is this sort of urgency, or feeling of running out of time. And there is a lot more anxiety about whether or not what we are doing now is preparing them for high school, which prepares them for college. I did not worry about these things in elementary but it is like time is speeding up on me now.

 

And while it sounds fun to create all these student led projects and unit study ideas, honestly I don't know how to fit any more in if they want to do so much extra curricular. And I hate to cut out what they do love for more school, especially since no matter how fun and engaging we try to make it, it just still feels like school. Even with documentaries and hands on projects and creative writing and everything else. Believe me, I have done everything to make school 'fun'. It's still school to them. They would still rather go hang with their friends or shoot hoops. So instead of going around and around trying to make it better, fun, more engaging, or wonder where I went wrong etc...I am just trying to get to the point of acceptance. It's as 'fun' as it is going to get. I mean if I completely unschooled them that would be more fun but I am just not brave enough.

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Also, this thread is reminding me of a past thread, on a very similar topic: "Once your child hits middle school, does this mean all the "fun" stuff stops?"

 

The fun does not necessarily stop, but it does transform, and where you find "fun" in schooling" looks different with tweens and young adults rather than the "fun" had with pre-schoolers and young elementary children. 

 

Also some good stuff in this past thread: "Pressing through the middle years of homeschooling", esp. posts #3, #8, #20, #21, #22, #51, #57.

 

And this is a good thread ("High School parents: looking back, what would your ideal for 7th/8th grade?") to help you think about what really *needs* to happen in middle school -- to allow you to RELAX and let go of some of the box-checking, and take time for bunny trails and to schedule time for "fun". :)

Edited by Lori D.
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The fun does not necessarily stop, but it does transform, and where you find "fun" in schooling" looks different with tweens and young adults rather than the "fun" had with pre-schoolers and young elementary children. 

 

 

:iagree: Hear ye, hear ye!

 

CaliforniaDreaming, that was exactly how I felt when my oldest DS approached middle school age and beyond. Where did all these field trips and playmates go? Then I realized that maybe it was me longing for those fun outings and social events more than my kids. :laugh:

 

After a while, we all got used to this new life style. and like Lori said, we found new fun stuffs (Lori, you are so wise). As he matures, DS's cello sounded better, he was actually starting to "enjoy" playing his cello. He got serious about his martial art, so it became sort of his distress, fun activity. We started to read "grown up books" together and talk about them. My kids can watch PG-13 movies with me. Also their chore list got longer, and I don't think they have time to squeeze in all this school work, all household chores and activities. Still we manege to go for a walk or have a spontaneous picnic once in a while. 

 

I went maple sugaring with little ones couple days ago which I've done with older ones long long ago. It still was fun though!

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Our fun consists more of hanging out and sharing moments...during school we laugh and talk a lot about different things...we talk and shake our heads over overt political bias in the history book, and we discuss our disagreements with the YE CHristian biology book, and we have a lot of fun doing science experiments, such as dissections or long term pond-bacteria projects.

 

Outside of school, we engage and talk about what's going on with friends, at youth group, in their politics and hobbies....knowing someone as a friend is fun.  Being friends is fun :)

 

For fun, we do spontaneous lunches out- we run and get lunch and it eats into their schedule a littl ebut they like it.  We watch movies or documentaries in the evening, and we have planned some fun outings for spring break when their grandparents are here.  They choose their own fun as well, by joining things they like and planning their own little adventures.  

 

My dd has fun by cooking interesting stuff and I sometimes get in there with her.  We share a lot of fun taking walks, going ot the park, and shopping.  (I admit it, we shop for fun when the weather's bad)  

 

:)

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I think it would be hard to keep up the fun all the way through high school. It seems more appropriate to give high school students an education that is interesting and challenging and middle school is a good time to transition from fun to engaging. There are a lot of good suggestions above for adding interest to the curriculum. Charlotte Mason-style short, yet challenging lessons in academic subjects may free up time for ongoing academic projects that really engage your kids' skills and creativity. "Engaged" in the upper grades is the equivalent of "having fun" in the lower grades.

 

On the flip side, if your kids are getting boxes checked early in the day so they can pursue outside interests, that shows responsibility, organization, work ethic, and initiative! I don't think that's so bad.

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