Widely different food needs... help?

[JenneinCA]

I have three kids with three widely different food needs. No true allergies involved, but I am lactose intolerant and the youngest doesn't like nuts.

 

Here is the problem, daughter age 18, perfect BMI for her height. She runs three days a week and bikes the mile or so to school during the week. She survives on pop tarts, instant ramen and Nutella. She has major sensory issues regarding food and won't eat anything with tomatoes or pasta noodles. Anything with mixed food is not a good option. She hasn't eaten a piece of fruit in I don't know how long or a vegetable in at least as long, but no one gives me or her grief about her body. She 'looks' perfectly fine. She is not interested in changing her food habits and I am not particularly interested in fighting with her. She currently is taking care of feeding herself but it is not what anyone would consider good for you food.

 

Next is son age 16, very very low BMI tall and very skinny. He bikes to school and this semester is taking a weight lifting class. He says the class does make him hungry. He drinks an ensure plus daily so that he gets a head start on his calories for the day and then has to be reminded to eat lunch and dinner. He is just too distracted and busy inside his head to be bothered to eat. He has seen a gastro doc and ruled out celiac disease. His add doc is aware of the issue and has him on meds that are not supposed to cause problems. Everyone believes that he is just not interested in food. We keep easy to eat and high calorie food in the house at all times to try to get this child to get enough calories. It is a long upward battle. One that I am currently losing because teenage boys know more than everyone else, especially their mothers.

 

And finally son age 12, very very high BMI shortish and big. He does water polo twice a week for an hour and a half each time plus precomp swim for an hour and a targeted swim lesson for half an hour. We also walk about a mile and a half each day as part of school. He is hungry all the time. He likes most everything including fruits and veggies, but greatly prefers the foods that his big brother is eating. And honestly that makes sense, most people would eat ice cream before apples. He wears a men's large in pants/shorts and is getting peer pressure to be thinner. He does not like being teased. He wants to be able to eat anything like his big brother and still be a typical size. It isn't happening and it makes him sad and is causing some issues with being self conscious about size.

 

And I am stuck. No one in the house wants to eat healthier other than me. No one wants to eat veggies and fruit. No one wants to not eat ice cream and cookies. I get a csa box every two weeks and I eat it all. The cauliflower, the broccoli, the carrots, the everything... no one else wants any of it.

 

I would love to get myself to a fitter me. Breaking my ankle was not a good thing and I need to get myself moving and eating better. But my husband is as picky as the kids. He doesn't eat fruits or veggies. He likes pizza and wants it often. He is an adult with kid meal tastes. He is shaped much like the youngest child. I can see the future and it is not pretty.

 

I hate taking the kids for their check ups. I get impossible requests. I have limited time and limited energy. I can't create different meals for everyone. Last time I told the doc that he had to choose which child to prioritize on food, I could not both get lots of calories into one child and simultaneously get less calories into another. He said to get calories into the sixteen year old and so I did. They both gained weight. I am not looking forward to that conversation again.

 

So any great ideas? I don't want to be the food police! Not for the kids and not for the husband either.

[Plink]

What a difficult position to be in!  No advice, just lots of sympathy.  I think you were wise to ask the doctor to prioritize for you.  

[Guest]

My mom was fat, my dad and sister were picky and I was allergic to countless foods. Mom cooked 3 meals every dinner.  She was clever about it.

 

I am not sure she should have accommodated pickiness, but it really made very little difference by this time.

 

That said, she is now 94 and when I told her what to prepare for our upcoming visit, she was SHOCKED to find out I had allergies.

 

In other words, this too shall pass.   :0)

 

[Laura Corin]

I have a son like your ds16. Questions:

What does he eat apart from high calorie snacks?
Does he seem healthy and with enough energy to do what he wants? No sign of depression?
Do you have another adult in the house and would they cooperate with removing or limiting junk?

Edited February 24, 2017 by Laura Corin

[Guest]

Could a nutritionist help Your twelve learn to eat for his body,.and maybe come up with some menus?

[FriedClams]

I'll throw in that 12 is, well, a chubby time for a lot of boys. I've seen it over and over again. Not a reason to skip being healthy, but most of them gain height and it proportions better.

 

I think I'd start with just making sure you don't eat junk out. Like, no fat foods, limit general eating out. For a lot of busy families, that helps a lot.

 

Then, maybe healthier junk options... Whole wheat waffles, better bread, low sugar granola bars (or make them)... And I'd limit some of the accessible junk - smaller jars of nutella, one small box of pop tarts for the week, no cookies, no ice cream, etc. Then, make it a treat to go get ice cream. Generally, the less junk you have in the house, the less junk gets eaten. We usually have a bake it yourself rule for junk here.

 

And I'd try easy fruit - grapes, strawberries (maybe with whole wheat shortcake), smoothies (and maybe start with a little fro yo in it), fresh cut pineapple. Basically, it sounds like a lot of processed sweet that thou need to trade out.

 

Go slow. Don't give up.

[JFSinIL]

Vitamins for all. Cook what you and hubby want. Teach kids how to cook for themselves if they can't or won't eat what you have made. That said, do have lots of ingredients on hand so kids can cook what they can/will eat. Learning how to shop/cook is a life skill they need anyway.

Edited February 24, 2017 by JFSinIL

[ktgrok]

Youngest if he is that round and that active probably is insulin resistant. Instead of pushing fruits/veggies if he won't eat them, how about pushing meat/cheese/eggs? Stuff that is low carb, and yet would also be good for the kid that has trouble with being underweight. 

[wintermom]

I don't want to be the food police! Not for the kids and not for the husband either.

 

The reality of most households is that the mother IS effectively the "food police" or the food planner, shopper, preparer, server, and leader-by-example person in the house. And you have been for the last 18 years. Sounds like it's time to get tougher with the foods you bring into the house and offer the family. YOU start being the "picky" one about what food comes into the house. Choose beautiful looking, colourful, healthy foods and present them in attractive ways to yourself and the family.

 

It's going to be hard to try and turn around 18 years of bad habits, but the effort is definitely worth it in the long run.

[Annie G]

I'm a little confused- your 16 year old isn't interested in food and is even drinking Ensure Plus daily but he's eating junk food? It sounds that way since you said your 12 year old would rather eat junk food like your 16 year old.  I'm confused because the medication he's on and the celiac testing don;t quite go with 'no interest in food'. 

 

Are you guys able to all be together for the evening meal? That would be a great place to start. 

 

You said your 12 year old likes most fruits and veggies. That's good!

 

It really sounds like junk food is the problem. Can you eliminate it from your house?  You can choose whether to allow it if the kids buy their own (we did- we didn't restrict how they spent their own money).  But they are all old enough to come together and decide on a few meals you can all eat.  That would be a win for everyone- the kids would get a healthy meal and at the end of the day you're tired and the last thing you need is dinner hassles.

 

It's easy to point to an overweight kid and think that's the biggest issue but it's not necessarily true. A healthy weight doesn't tell the whole story. 

 

We had it easier because we eliminated junk after dh had his heart attack a decade ago.  Having a motivator like that gave me some ammo when the kids balked at the changes.  But after a while they adjusted. Sure, we all still eat stuff we shouldn't, but it's a treat now instead of a daily thing.  It's a tough change to make, for sure.  Hang in there and make small changes and accept tiny victories. 

[Zinnia]

. Choose beautiful looking, colourful, healthy foods and present them in attractive ways to yourself and the family.

 

 

 

Does anyone ever find that this works?  

 

I love fruits and vegetables.  I love all food, honestly.  I  can and do eat a wide variety, and it's lovely.  I get a CSA, local meat, on and on.

 

Since January, we have strictly eaten no junk, limited carbs.  So many vegetables, so much meat.  

 

And yet....If I am honest, I would be perfectly happy to go eat Chick-fil-A for lunch today.  Or Sonic.  Or any other version of fast food/junk food.  Lots of people say that they lose their taste for it over time, but I have yet to have that happen.  I've gone months and months at a time, but it's just due to sheer willpower.  I like fast food.  I have begun to accept that I always will.  As a 40 year old woman, it's a lot easier to use willpower than it is for 15 or 16 year old kid.  But I do think some people are just prone to love junk more than others.

[Annie G]

Does anyone ever find that this works?  

 

I love fruits and vegetables.  I love all food, honestly.  I  can and do eat a wide variety, and it's lovely.  I get a CSA, local meat, on and on.

 

Since January, we have strictly eaten no junk, limited carbs.  So many vegetables, so much meat.  

 

And yet....If I am honest, I would be perfectly happy to go eat Chick-fil-A for lunch today.  Or Sonic.  Or any other version of fast food/junk food.  Lots of people say that they lose their taste for it over time, but I have yet to have that happen.  I've gone months and months at a time, but it's just due to sheer willpower.  I like fast food.  I have begun to accept that I always will.  As a 40 year old woman, it's a lot easier to use willpower than it is for 15 or 16 year old kid.  But I do think some people are just prone to love junk more than others.

 

Over time I have lost my taste for a lot of the fast food and junk we used to eat. But we do still occasionally eat junk- eating well most of the time is our goal. We like some fast food- but are much more picky than we used to be.  Chick fil A today is grilled nuggets and superfood salad and water instead of the strips, fries, sugary lemonade and dipping sauce. 

 

I think it's my fault the kids ever developed a love for fast food. I was drawn to it for the convenience - some nights I was too tired to cook so I grabbed fast food and we were all happy.   As adults they still eat fast food sometimes but they choose better places and make better choices. 

 

But yeah, some people really like the taste. And it's hard for teens to change because they're still feeling invincible. 

 

ETA: Zinnia, go get that Chick fil A today! Eating well doesn't have to be 100%.  80% is our goal. 

Edited February 24, 2017 by Annie G

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well maybe not the best advice but I focus on myself and I stopped fighting everyone else on it.  I make what I make.  If it is not liked, then you get/make your own food.  Period.  I keep easy to eat crap for those times (which are often). 

 

 

[wintermom]

Over time I have lost my taste for a lot of the fast food and junk we used to eat. But we do still occasionally eat junk- eating well most of the time is our goal. We like some fast food- but are much more picky than we used to be.  Chick fil A today is grilled nuggets and superfood salad and water instead of the strips, fries, sugary lemonade and dipping sauce. 

 

I think it's my fault the kids ever developed a love for fast food. I was drawn to it for the convenience - some nights I was too tired to cook so I grabbed fast food and we were all happy.   As adults they still eat fast food sometimes but they choose better places and make better choices. 

 

But yeah, some people really like the taste. And it's hard for teens to change because they're still feeling invincible. 

 

ETA: Zinnia, go get that Chick fil A today! Eating well doesn't have to be 100%.  80% is our goal. 

 

:iagree:

 

Over time is the key.  It takes time to develop food tastes and preferences. And our taste buds can change from childhood to adulthood, too. Sticking mainly to healthy food choices, over years, does a great deal in promoting the enjoyment of healthy food.

 

It doesn't take much effort at all to develop a love for fast food or processed food. It's designed to taste "good" with all the salt, fat and sugar. 

 

Sounds like you're definitely on the right track with eating well most of the time as a goal. It's not the occasional "fast food" meals that is going to be the problem, it's when these are the most frequent.

[EKS]

I had a similar problem in that my older son was ultra skinny when he was 13-17 or so (ADD meds combined with genetics) and the younger one wanted to keep up with him.  The younger one started to get chubby at 8yo and it peaked at 12.  Now, at 15, with the brother out of the house for college and his own growth spurt in full swing, things are much better, and while he is not as thin as his brother, he is not at all chubby either.

 

All of this is to say that if you can keep the 12yo from gaining, he will probably grow into the weight.

 

I don't have advice about getting everyone to eat better though.

[wintermom]

Over time I have lost my taste for a lot of the fast food and junk we used to eat. But we do still occasionally eat junk- eating well most of the time is our goal. We like some fast food- but are much more picky than we used to be.  Chick fil A today is grilled nuggets and superfood salad and water instead of the strips, fries, sugary lemonade and dipping sauce. 

 

I think it's my fault the kids ever developed a love for fast food. I was drawn to it for the convenience - some nights I was too tired to cook so I grabbed fast food and we were all happy.   As adults they still eat fast food sometimes but they choose better places and make better choices. 

 

But yeah, some people really like the taste. And it's hard for teens to change because they're still feeling invincible. 

 

ETA: Zinnia, go get that Chick fil A today! Eating well doesn't have to be 100%.  80% is our goal. 

 

Unfortunately, it's the long, "harder" road that is key. A couple months isn't enough. It has to be a life time of healthy food practices.

 

Why do you think fast food producers are so rich? It's because they are experts in providing "good tasting" food that is cheap to make and that people enjoy eating, like foods with lots of salt, fat and sugar in them.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have lost my taste for many foods I enjoyed (some fast food included).

 

Tonight we are going to a Chinese buffet place we have gone to for years.  I used to love the food.  Last few times I went there I thought it was rather "meh".  I'm going because my family wants to go, but nope I'd actually rather eat food I cook at home.

 

But what I'll never stop loving is someone else doing the cooking once in awhile.  I like fast food because it's fast and easy.  It's taste is acceptable even when it's not the best tasting thing. 

[wendyroo]

Are there any homecooked meals that everyone will eat?

 

Breaded chicken tenders and baked fries?  Scrambled eggs and whole wheat pancakes?  Tacos?  Homemade pizza?  Lunch meat sandwiches and chicken noodle soup?

 

I would focus on building up a weekly dinner menu of real foods...even if they are mostly proteins and whole grains.  That would give you a foundation from which to build.  You could start adding in sweet potato fries, throwing some finely chopped broccoli into the scrambled eggs, starting putting some pineapple on the pizza, etc.

 

Then I would see about getting the 16 year old to eat more of his calories at school.  Would he drink another ensure during the day?  Would he eat a lunch if you packed it?  If you threw some snacks in his backpack, would he set his phone to remind him between classes to eat something?

 

Wendy

[HomeAgain]

I don't know that I would focus on high calorie foods at all, but focus on nutritionally dense ones.  The high calorie ones that you mentioned have a lot of salt/sugar, but are low on nutrients.  The body will need that more than a priority of *any* focus on calories.

 

 

You can make changes slowly.  Do a 2-ingredient pizza crust and let the family decide what to put on each one. Get rid of the high sugar foods so that taste buds return to normal, and make things more from scratch.  As they get into the new diet keep replacing and adding things.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I have no BTDT experience, but here's maybe a few ideas:

 

- Have oldest son drink his ensure before 12yo wakes up.  I don't know what's in Ensure, but I'd maybe consider switching it to a sugar-free whey protein shake instead- add a good dollop of cream cheese and blend it, and it should taste pretty good! 

- Start everyone with eggs in the morning.  They can really help curb hunger.

- Eliminate sugar.  I know this is really hard, but if you could do only one thing for the family, this one is probably the best.  Have your dd keep her snacks in a very specific spot, and maybe make her buy them herself so that there's clear justification as to why others in the house can't have them.  

 

I'm sorry your dh isn't on board.  That will probably be by far the biggest stumbling block to success at changing things.  I hope he comes around!

 

 

[wintermom]

Does anyone ever find that this works?  

 

 

 

Yes. For my family, and a lot of families I know. We offer the fruit and veggie platters when the kids are hungry. The fruit and veggies are cut up, displayed nicely, and sometimes a little dip is included. They get eaten IF you don't break out the salty and sugary snacks first.  It does require more prep time, though, and there are bound to be varieties of fruits and veggies that don't appeal to everyone. Keep trying new things.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes. For my family, and a lot of families I know. We offer the fruit and veggie platters when the kids are hungry. The fruit and veggies are cut up, displayed nicely, and sometimes a little dip is included. They get eaten IF you don't break out the salty and sugary snacks first.  It does require more prep time, though, and there are bound to be varieties of fruits and veggies that don't appeal to everyone. Keep trying new things.

 

Doesn't work for my older picky kid.  Nothing works with him.  And I mean NOTHING.  LOL 

 

For the younger kid, he loves raw veg. 

[JenneinCA]

I have a son like your ds16. Questions:

 

What does he eat apart from high calorie snacks?

Does he seem healthy and with enough energy to do what he wants? No sign of depression?

Do you have another adult in the house and would they cooperate with removing or limiting junk?

He eats ensure plus and a cliff bar for breakfast on his way out the door for class. He eats lunch at school and then dinner when he gets home,

He is healthy and has enough energy to do what he wants to do. He is not depressed. His add doc is a psychiatrist and she talks to him every six weeks or so. She would know.

My husband is the other adult in the house. And no there is no way to reduce the amount of less than healthy food in the house.

[JenneinCA]

Could a nutritionist help Your twelve learn to eat for his body,.and maybe come up with some menus?

He has seen a nutritionist. Her recommendations were things like half a plate of veggies at every meal and never eat a cookie again. It was not helpful.

[JenneinCA]

I'm a little confused- your 16 year old isn't interested in food and is even drinking Ensure Plus daily but he's eating junk food? It sounds that way since you said your 12 year old would rather eat junk food like your 16 year old. I'm confused because the medication he's on and the celiac testing don;t quite go with 'no interest in food'.

 

Are you guys able to all be together for the evening meal? That would be a great place to start.

 

You said your 12 year old likes most fruits and veggies. That's good!

 

It really sounds like junk food is the problem. Can you eliminate it from your house? You can choose whether to allow it if the kids buy their own (we did- we didn't restrict how they spent their own money). But they are all old enough to come together and decide on a few meals you can all eat. That would be a win for everyone- the kids would get a healthy meal and at the end of the day you're tired and the last thing you need is dinner hassles.

 

It's easy to point to an overweight kid and think that's the biggest issue but it's not necessarily true. A healthy weight doesn't tell the whole story.

 

We had it easier because we eliminated junk after dh had his heart attack a decade ago. Having a motivator like that gave me some ammo when the kids balked at the changes. But after a while they adjusted. Sure, we all still eat stuff we shouldn't, but it's a treat now instead of a daily thing. It's a tough change to make, for sure. Hang in there and make small changes and accept tiny victories.

The sixteen year old drinks his ensure plus and eats his cliff bar in the morning when he takes his medicine. It is part of his med plan. He was tested for celiac when everyone was confused about why he didn't want to eat. That was several years ago. The twelve year old wants to eat the cliff bars.

 

Evening meal? The twelve year old has water polo from 6-7:30 on Monday and Thursday and precomp swim from 5-6 on Friday and his swim lesson from 4-4:30 on Saturdaysnd a writing club from 5-6:30 on Sunday. The sixteen year old has calculus 2 from 6-8:30 on Tuesday and Thursday. Husband has a late group thing every Wednesday evening. We could in theory plan and eat a meal together on Monday or Saturday.

 

Meals everyone likes? We had a few. Then we ate them in rotation for a month. No one will eat them now.

 

I think maybe it is impossible.

 

(And vitamins... my oldest won't take them at all. She says they don't taste good.)

[Laura Corin]

He eats ensure plus and a cliff bar for breakfast on his way out the door for class. He eats lunch at school and then dinner when he gets home,

He is healthy and has enough energy to do what he wants to do. He is not depressed. His add doc is a psychiatrist and she talks to him every six weeks or so. She would know.

My husband is the other adult in the house. And no there is no way to reduce the amount of less than healthy food in the house.

My eldest is 5'11", has a 28 inch waist, and has only recently put on enough weight to donate blood. Various doctors told us to stuff him full of ice cream, but those foods just displaced healthier options. We stopped worrying that he was off the bottom of the BMI charts. Someone has to be there. I also remember my elder brother being just that thin and unconcerned about food. He's now a fit 58yo who cycles to work, plays tennis at weekends and is still thin. It is how he is built.

 

If the doctors don't think ds16 is ill, I would personally throw away or limit the junk for the whole family, to give ds12 a chance to make healthier choices.

 

I suspect that there is not much you can do about your daughter. She's an adult and there's no forcing her.

 

So I would make healthy meals with a range if tastes and textures, make sweet items into once a day kinds of treats, and not worry about ds16. I'd be talking to DH about his indulging his taste for junk outside the house, for the sake of his children's health.

[JenneinCA]

Are there any homecooked meals that everyone will eat?

 

Breaded chicken tenders and baked fries? Scrambled eggs and whole wheat pancakes? Tacos? Homemade pizza? Lunch meat sandwiches and chicken noodle soup?

 

I would focus on building up a weekly dinner menu of real foods...even if they are mostly proteins and whole grains. That would give you a foundation from which to build. You could start adding in sweet potato fries, throwing some finely chopped broccoli into the scrambled eggs, starting putting some pineapple on the pizza, etc.

 

Then I would see about getting the 16 year old to eat more of his calories at school. Would he drink another ensure during the day? Would he eat a lunch if you packed it? If you threw some snacks in his backpack, would he set his phone to remind him between classes to eat something?

 

Wendy

We did the meals thing and it worked but now they are tired of eating that and won't eat it anymore. It is a good idea. I wish they were more adventurous eaters...

 

I am working on getting the sixteen year old to eat more calories at school. He does do better there.

[Petrichor]

He eats ensure plus and a cliff bar for breakfast on his way out the door for class. He eats lunch at school and then dinner when he gets home,

He is healthy and has enough energy to do what he wants to do. He is not depressed. His add doc is a psychiatrist and she talks to him every six weeks or so. She would know.

My husband is the other adult in the house. And no there is no way to reduce the amount of less than healthy food in the house.

 

:hug: it's really hard. 

 

It seems like what's needed is for your DH and the kids to realize the need for eating healthier. The harm that excess sugars and certain food additives do to the body. The need for nutrients from real food. Assurance that even though it may not seem one bit appealing to drop the pop tarts and other junk, it will get better over time. That the junk food treats aren't gone forever, but that there is a need to severely limit them for everyone for a month or whatever before bringing them back slowly.

[JenneinCA]

Thank you I think I will keep the healthier things in the house and not worry so much about them. It is hard. But it is all I can do.

[Petrichor]

We try to eat healthy, but it was so hard when DH wasn't on board.

 

When I needed lots of high-calorie snacks in the house because I was nursing and not making enough milk, DH and DS were eating my snacks (in lieu of real food) until I bought stuff that they weren't allowed to eat.

 

 

[Petrichor]

Another thought: have your kids taken cooking classes? That might help motivate them to eat healthier vs. grabbing something easy for a meal.

[JenneinCA]

Another thought: have your kids taken cooking classes? That might help motivate them to eat healthier vs. grabbing something easy for a meal.

I am working on that with the twelve year old. Neither of the bigger kids are remotely interested.

[Zinnia]

Yes. For my family, and a lot of families I know. We offer the fruit and veggie platters when the kids are hungry. The fruit and veggies are cut up, displayed nicely, and sometimes a little dip is included. They get eaten IF you don't break out the salty and sugary snacks first.  It does require more prep time, though, and there are bound to be varieties of fruits and veggies that don't appeal to everyone. Keep trying new things.

 

My kids eat veggies raw.  They don't eat a wide variety, but they do eat them.  They love fruit.

 

They still like junk, though.

 

That's what I mean.  I'm insanely jealous of the families that say, "oh, we don't eat thaaaaat" as they turn their noses up at junk food.  Because while I try hard to not eat it, and in certain company, I might even pretend that it's shocking and horrible to like it, down at the core of who I am, I like junk food.  And it's a terrible trait that I've passed on to my kids.  I just wish that I could wave a magic wand and not still like the stuff.

[Guest]

He has seen a nutritionist. Her recommendations were things like half a plate of veggies at every meal and never eat a cookie again. It was not helpful.

What did you expect a nutritionist to recommend?

[SparklyUnicorn]

What did you expect a nutritionist to recommend?

 

I'd expect recommendations for how to encourage kids to do this when they aren't on board.  It's one thing to suggest this to an adult.  It's another entirely to say just do this and your kid will follow because anyone who knows anything about kids knows it is NOT that simple.

 

I have one kid who will eat anything.  He is not at all picky.  The other kid has about 5 foods he'll eat.  I haven't done anything radically different with either of them, but there would be no way to force a 15 year old to eat anything.

[cjzimmer1]

 

 

And yet....If I am honest, I would be perfectly happy to go eat Chick-fil-A for lunch today.  Or Sonic.  Or any other version of fast food/junk food.  Lots of people say that they lose their taste for it over time, but I have yet to have that happen.  I've gone months and months at a time, but it's just due to sheer willpower.  I like fast food.  I have begun to accept that I always will.  As a 40 year old woman, it's a lot easier to use willpower than it is for 15 or 16 year old kid.  But I do think some people are just prone to love junk more than others.

 

I took a couple of years of almost no processed food before I could start tasting the difference in salt between homemade and fast food, and frankly it was probably 5 years before I noticed a significant difference for sugar.  Now in that time frame I wasn't perfect and still had the processed things at times but as the frequency changed, I could notice it more.  It took a lot longer than I would have expected to reach a point where the processed alternatives really weren't appealing anymore.

[cjzimmer1]

One thing I've done to help reduce the sweet consumption is make it so if someone wants that have to make it - from scratch.  Not a mix, but haul out the flour and sugar, and baking powder etc and mix and bake.  I always have all the ingredients on hand to make cookies, brownies, cakes, pies and ice cream (yes from actual cream)  It's amazing how many times, when faced with the effort that the requester decides either they really aren't that hungry afterall or that something more readily available (and in our house that would be healthier) will be sufficient.  They are not prevented from eating sweet we just don't make it easy.  Often times we grab something because we want a small snack or are bored and it's all too easy to have less healthy snacks lying around for those moments.  I found by focusing on that one area and keeping more fruit, nuts and chopped veggies around that everyone was making better choices.

[wintermom]

My kids eat veggies raw.  They don't eat a wide variety, but they do eat them.  They love fruit.

 

They still like junk, though.

 

That's what I mean.  I'm insanely jealous of the families that say, "oh, we don't eat thaaaaat" as they turn their noses up at junk food.  Because while I try hard to not eat it, and in certain company, I might even pretend that it's shocking and horrible to like it, down at the core of who I am, I like junk food.  And it's a terrible trait that I've passed on to my kids.  I just wish that I could wave a magic wand and not still like the stuff.

 

Well, if you want to enjoy some "junk" now and then, why not? However, there is also a range of options in the category of "junk." Whenever possible, make your own "junk" so that you have control of what's in it. Or eat it in small quantities, or just for special occasions.  

[GoodGrief]

I am on board with you just not stressing about it, and getting the foods that you want. :-) The older two are at ages where they need to start figuring out their own eating plan. Of course, if they ask for help that's one thing. I'd buy their staples for them, of course, be it Pop Tarts or Clif Bars. Your skinny guy may need reminders to eat, but will likely not starve himself to death.

 

I might put some restrictions on the preteen, but nothing hard core. The Clif Bars are expensive, so he should probably ask before taking one, and maybe they should be limited to days when he is doing vigorous physical activity. Otherwise, you are in a tough spot with your husband's eating habits. It is what it is, and more than likely everyone will be fine in the end (though maybe differently shaped :-) ) You are doing a great job.

[City Mouse]

I would go with the fix what you want plan and anyone who doesn't like it can fix their own food. Even the 12 yr old can fix his own food.

 

You can't really do much else if husband will bring in all the junk food you want to avoid.

Edited February 25, 2017 by City Mouse

[Annie G]

Without being able to regularly have meals together, you have a difficult task ahead of you.  When we were out of the house 4 nights a week for theater we were all together and I was able to bring home cooked food for our meals.  But not being together would have been a deal killer. I'm not making separate meals for humans who are capable of feeding themselves. 

 

Does 16 ds eat school lunches? If so it might be difficult to get enough calories unless he buys more than just a standard lunch. Most school lunch programs have a max 850 calories in their lunches and ds might not be eating everything offered so might not even be getting that many. 

 

Without dh on board I think you're not going to get very far. Sorry. 

 

 

[Guest]

I'd expect recommendations for how to encourage kids to do this when they aren't on board. It's one thing to suggest this to an adult. It's another entirely to say just do this and your kid will follow because anyone who knows anything about kids knows it is NOT that simple.

 

I have one kid who will eat anything. He is not at all picky. The other kid has about 5 foods he'll eat. I haven't done anything radically different with either of them, but there would be no way to force a 15 year old to eat anything.

That would be the role for a therapist, once the nutritionist has provided the education on what nutrition the body needs.

 

I have a child who rejects food for sensory issues. The nutritionist is not qualified to address that, but can give him choices and combos that would work for his sensory needs while a therapist can work on expanding into unfavorable textures and less attractive smells.