Getting rid of baby stuff

[Janeway]

I always wanted a big family but looks like it won't happen. Even the doctor confirmed (and I got a second opinion) that it would be beyond shocking if I got pregnant again. 

 

I am trying to reduce clutter and have many containers of baby stuff as well as an unused baby crib in the house. But I honestly feel so sad at the thought of giving all this stuff up. Each piece of clothing has a memory. But fact is, it is really stupid to continue to try to store this stuff. 

 

Any helpful advice or encouragement?

[prairiewindmomma]

We had an unexpected end to childbearing, and closing the door to that era of my life was challenging.  For me, a few things helped:

1. Keeping 1-2 special outfits

2. Photographing everything

3. Donating items to people who needed it

 

I didn't feel good about having a garage sale.  I didn't want to haggle with someone who only wanted to pay .25 per piece of clothing, iykwim. I donated nearly everything to a local pregnancy help center (a lot of undocumented women who couldn't access medical care except through the center), and took a charitable deduction. A few items I gave away to young friends who were just starting their families.

 

It honestly has been really ok...surprisingly so.

[regentrude]

I found that, instead of donating to goodwill, giving the items to people I knew helped.

My kids' baby things went to families who could use them and appreciated them.

I am not usually hanging on to things, but found it hard to part with a few sentimental clothing items (things my mom got for DD); those went to a special friend's special daughter, and that made me feel at peace with the decision. 

 

So, my suggestion would be instead of random donation, find a specific person/family whom you can bless with the items and let them go there.

 

ETA: I have never regretted giving away an item. I still have the pictures of my kids wearing the clothes. I don't need the article of clothing itself.

Edited February 12, 2017 by regentrude

[HomeAgain]

I only keep what I love, and I revisit the stash every so often to cull a bit more. 

[....]

It is really, really, really hard to get rid of baby stuff.  I hear ya'.  My baby is 22 months old now and he's our last.  I gave most of his baby stuff away to our church that has a "store" where women who need baby supplies (and can't afford them) can just come and pick out what their baby needs.  So, that makes me feel better about donating it.  At least I know someone else is getting to use it - instead of it just sitting in my house unused.  It is so hard to part with their stuff - especially baby clothes (for me).

 

Edited to add:  I've literally cried before while bagging up baby clothes!   :D

 

 

Edited February 12, 2017 by Evanthe

[Anne in CA]

Getting rid of baby stuff is super hard. I think I still have all my kid's baby blankets even though they are in tatters. But keeping things around that make you sad isn't going to be good for your mental health. I was ready to be done having children. I could have had as many babies as God would give me, but I don't do great with teens, so I knew I needed to be done no matter how much I love to snuggle my little people and cheer their first words and steps.

[wendyroo]

Audrey is our last, and there have been some things that I am just not ready to get rid of.  I have designated one box in the attic for baby/kid clothes to give my brother if he has kids in the future.  He's not married, there are no kids in his foreseeable future, but it still makes it easier in my mind to box the extra special items up for him.  This has allowed me to gracefully part with the rest of the more utilitarian stuff with no special memories attached.  I don't have a clue what will happen to that one box up in the attic if my brother does not have kids.  I'll either keep it or give it to someone else or find peace with donating it...but storing one box is not going to make or break us, so that doesn't have to be decided for many more years.

 

Wendy

[Murphy101]

I keep one box of girl stuff, one box of boy stuff, and one box of odds and ends such as baby toys every one of them have loved. And I have one storage trunk that I keep keepsakes in. First hair cut locks. The Woody doll and vest one lived in for 5 years. The baby pillow one fell asleep with for years. That kind of thing. The rest goes.

 

For the clothes and baby blankets, you could commission a quilt(s) be made out of them.

 

ETA: It helps that I've been doing this about every 3-5 years for a very long time. With each baby things either get used beyond keeping or I realise my attachment weaned or our hime just couldn't contain more and I had to whittle down a bit more. I have very little now.

 

Also, look on Pinterest for ways to repurpose items like cribs. With recalls and such and unless it's in perfect condition, you can't do much other than trash it these days. Even many charities won't take such items because of that.

Edited February 12, 2017 by Murphy101

[Lady Marmalade]

Well, my parents were pretty sure they were done having kids so gave away or sold every scrap of baby supply they had.

 

Not even a week after the crib had been sold, my mom woke up with morning sickness, and nine months later I met my TWIN sisters.   My parents were very thankful for grandparents who were excited to spoil a set of twins. 

 

For myself, we were done with two, but when it was time to get rid of stuff, I went through everything and gave the nicer, more special items to people I know or loved, or wanted to bless with something nice.  After that, we had a rummage sale to try and get rid of more, and then with everything else that was left got donated.  I kept the going-home outfits for both kids, as well as the baby blankets.  Everything else was passed on. 

[AK_Mom4]

I understand - our "baby" is 15yo now.  She was our surprise baby who was secretly hoped for.  Her crib is disassembled, but is stored stacked behind my bedroom door.  I've decided to keep it in case I ever have grandkids.   :grouphug:

 

Like others, I donated most of the baby clothes to the local women and children's crisis center because it helped me to know they were going to someone who really needed them.  I have a few special ones in a box in the attic - saved for the someday grandkids.

[Guest]

I just gave away all our girl stuff yesterday, how timely. I'm not sentimental so I didn't save an outfit or take pictures,I didn't even sort. Just tossed like a whirlwind. Sitting there and touching or going through every item would have been so much harder for me emotionally. I tried that when I opened the box kid and it was bad. So then I went into git er done mode ;)

 

I figure I have pictures of my kids in these outfits and no space or desire for sentiment, so better to just move them out and enjoy the real estate space I've gained and the kids who have long since outgrown the clothes. The memories aren't strengthened or improved for keeping around the item, it's just clutter that causes me stress.

 

Everyone is different, that's just my .02

 

Dwelling on or sentimentalizing the clothes made me sad, whereas getting those bags off to goodwill yesterday evening was freeing!

Edited February 12, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

I will also add - my mom saves some of my clothes and gave them to me for use with my kids. I didn't like the style and they weren't a great fit either, so then I just held onto them for a decade and felt guilty every time I looked at them and didn't use them but felt even guiltier for wanting to throw them away.

 

Everyone is different. But I really wish my mom hadn't saved them and given them to me so her sentimentality became my burden.

Edited February 12, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[Um_2_4]

Baby clothes are going into a rag quilt, other stuff, like gear, went to friends who needed or sold via craigslist when we last moved.

Rag quilts are great because I can cug the squares (preserving a favorite part) and assemble squares as time allows. You can even use baby blankets tk cut into squares for backing.

[displace]

I was just thinking of this last night! We have two but wanted a lot more. We had lots of pregnancy and fertility problems, and are now "aging". I'm super glad we have our two after all the difficulties but I have a type of longing still. It's next to impossible to have more but it's different to know that vs accept it. I thought I'd start with easy stuff and whittled down a few shorts out of a billion clothes. It's really too hard for me.

 

I think a lot of the tips may help me: taking pictures of clothes, maybe keep some for a special keepsake, donating to a charity I like.

 

(Hugs). I also think time helps, and maybe practice decluttering less emotional things. Idk if you're well practiced in decluttering, but one tip I've heard is to work on easy things first (obvious things you don't like, other projects like old books or your own clothes). Then, after making decisions for a while, you may be better able to do harder and more emotional items.

[displace]

Baby clothes are going into a rag quilt, other stuff, like gear, went to friends who needed or sold via craigslist when we last moved.

Rag quilts are great because I can cug the squares (preserving a favorite part) and assemble squares as time allows. You can even use baby blankets tk cut into squares for backing.

 

Two questions: 1) how hard is it to do a rag quilt for someone who can't even sew, 2) would the quilt be used, stored?

Edited February 12, 2017 by displace

[MotherGoose]

Can you sell anything consignment? That motivates me. :)

[cjzimmer1]

I'm still not sure we are done but the odds increase every year.  And after 6 kids we just have too much stuff in the house.  It was actually easy to get rid of the crib because I could justify it wouldn't matter either way (number 6 never even took a nap in the crib let alone slept there at night) and so bit by bit I let go of things.  i still have a few favorite outfits but really once it was out of sight and it was really easy not to dwell on it and the extra space has been so much nicer.

 

Getting rid of baby stuff is super hard. I think I still have all my kid's baby blankets even though they are in tatters. But keeping things around that make you sad isn't going to be good for your mental health. I was ready to be done having children. I could have had as many babies as God would give me, but I don't do great with teens, so I knew I needed to be done no matter how much I love to snuggle my little people and cheer their first words and steps.

 

I'm the opposite,  I LOVE teens.  I think they are my favorite age.  On the other hand I find the toddler (young childhood age) years challenging and each new toddler seems harder than the last.  I wonder how we will survive the current 4 year old.  But babies are great all the time (or so my selective memory tells me)
 

Edited February 12, 2017 by cjzimmer1

[Meadowlark]

I am the person that was told by my doc not to have any more, firmly. My uterus is apparently a mess.

 

Guess what? I'm now pregnant. I sold every.single.thing and cried over each little onesie that I got rid of. How about I pay you postage and you send it all to me? I'm half joking.

 

But really, I know how hard it is. I went through it. Now, I'm petrified and praying so hard that this baby doesn't leave my husband alone with my 6 kids.

[Rebel Yell]

If you can sort through things, keep only the most very special items... like 2-5 outfits.

 

My oldest and youngest are 6.5 years apart... in that time, styles changed, elastic disintegrated, and sizes didn't line up with seasons. Crib styles were recalled, car seats expired.

 

i gave nearly everything either to people I knew personally who were in need, or to crisis centers. I got to a point where I literally could not keep things if I knew they could help someone in a desperate situation.

 

I am also blessed to be in a place in life where, if I were to have another baby, people in my church and homeschool community would provide what I need.

[Guest]

My "baby" is 21 now..haha.  But about 2 years ago,  took a bunch of his middle-year clothes out of the beach house we were selling.  I was all matter of fact about it, and for heaven's sake, he had outgrown these years ago.  But...they had a lot of memories attached...  Still, business-like, I packed them up (along with a bunch of other stuff we had to get rid of to sell the house) and took it all to Goodwill.  I was FINE with allll the things, but when I handed the guy this one pair of shorts, I burst into tears, and said, "You make sure some nice little boy gets these shorts!"  (:::eyeroll:::)  He wasn't the only one surprised by this outburst!  

 

I have to say that having passed along all the clothes all along the way to people I knew was really easy...I got to see the clothes walking around on growing boys I knew.  It was great.  But that last load...oh my goodness.  

 

I took pictures and kept the few handmade items we got.  One little sweater is just so cute...  LOL.  

 

 

[Um_2_4]

Two questions: 1) how hard is it to do a rag quilt for someone who can't even sew, 2) would the quilt be used, stored?

Pretty easy, we are doing some in 4h with beginning sewers. When I get home I'll post a link to instructions. It is sewing a bunch of Xs on squares, then straight seams to assemble the rows.

I plan to use it. I may make 2. One with boys' clothes and one with girls.

[heartlikealion]

We have to get rid of a lot of stuff. I'm trying to sell the big stuff, but not sure if anyone will buy. There's a consignment event coming up we might participate in. Google it (Rhea Lana) or see if there's another one if that interests you.

 

One idea I've had is to give some to a parish that has more families in need.

 

Dh has had me set aside a few favorites though we don't *plan* on having more kids. I am a bit more cold about it all because I lost a lot in a hurricane and I think I lost a lot of attachment to stuff... like here today, gone tomorrow. Why did I save that? It benefited no one. I wasn't a mom and I didn't have baby clothes when the hurricane happened, but it made me think a little more in those terms. I still do get sentimental but sometimes the longer I keep stuff the harder it is to get rid of it. Dh is thinking way more long term than me, saying maybe some can go to grandkids lol. I don't know that I want to hold onto stuff so many years but I could see he meant maybe it will get reused in the family.

 

There's no right or wrong answer. I'm just saying if you want to let it go, just think, "someone could be using this now."

[mamaofgirls]

I am keeping my favorite clothes, which is a lot... lol. I plan on weeping over them when I am old and my children have moved on. Sometimes I think it would be nice to make a quilt out of them but really, I want to see those tiny newborn sleepers - spit up stains and all.

 

I am okay with getting rid of most of the 'equipment' and either pass it on to other moms (much younger) at church.

[Selkie]

We only kept a few special outfits and toys and gave the rest away. The worst for me was giving away our bassinet. Every time I looked at it, I remembered our little babes all snuggled up in it when they were tiny and new...aargh, even now, it's making me tear up! It definitely did feel like closing the door on a chapter of our life, but it was also freeing to get rid of all the stuff we no longer needed.

[Guest]

I am the person that was told by my doc not to have any more, firmly. My uterus is apparently a mess.

 

Guess what? I'm now pregnant. I sold every.single.thing and cried over each little onesie that I got rid of. How about I pay you postage and you send it all to me? I'm half joking.

 

But really, I know how hard it is. I went through it. Now, I'm petrified and praying so hard that this baby doesn't leave my husband alone with my 6 kids.

Oh my goodness. Hugs to you, mama.

[mommyoffive]

I am the person that was told by my doc not to have any more, firmly. My uterus is apparently a mess.

 

Guess what? I'm now pregnant. I sold every.single.thing and cried over each little onesie that I got rid of. How about I pay you postage and you send it all to me? I'm half joking.

 

But really, I know how hard it is. I went through it. Now, I'm petrified and praying so hard that this baby doesn't leave my husband alone with my 6 kids.

 

 

Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?  

[Ailaena]

 

My son is using things I never got rid of after having my daughter. 20 years ago. So I feel your pain. I look at boxes of girl clothes that she loved and remember blah blah...

 

Don't be like me! Keep a few things you loved and just close our eyes and get rid of the rest.

[Garga]

I kept one bin of sentimental clothes.  

 

When I was pregnant with my 1st, a number of people who were done having babies gave me their old stuff.  I was so grateful.  SO grateful!  

 

If you must get rid of baby stuff, then it might make your heart feel better to give it directly to someone who really needs it, either personally, or to a shelter.

 

[Meadowlark]

Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?  

 

Sorry-I haven't checked here for awhile :-)

 

Yes, I found out very early at 11 weeks that I'm having a GIRL. Pretty excited! 

[barnwife]

Sorry-I haven't checked here for awhile :-)

 

Yes, I found out very early at 11 weeks that I'm having a GIRL. Pretty excited! 

I hope the rest of your pregnancy and delivery go well. When are you due?

[eternalsummer]

I just gave away all our girl stuff yesterday, how timely. I'm not sentimental so I didn't save an outfit or take pictures,I didn't even sort. Just tossed like a whirlwind. Sitting there and touching or going through every item would have been so much harder for me emotionally. I tried that when I opened the box kid and it was bad. So then I went into git er done mode ;)

 

I figure I have pictures of my kids in these outfits and no space or desire for sentiment, so better to just move them out and enjoy the real estate space I've gained and the kids who have long since outgrown the clothes. The memories aren't strengthened or improved for keeping around the item, it's just clutter that causes me stress.

 

Everyone is different, that's just my .02

 

Dwelling on or sentimentalizing the clothes made me sad, whereas getting those bags off to goodwill yesterday evening was freeing!

 

Are you done having kids? (If too intrustive, feel free to ignore or tell me to butt out).  

[J-rap]

I once sold some of my baby clothes to a consignment store, and then the next day went in and bought them back again! (And for a higher price!)  :)

 

After that I learned it was okay to keep the special ones.

[mommyoffive]

Sorry-I haven't checked here for awhile :-)

 

Yes, I found out very early at 11 weeks that I'm having a GIRL. Pretty excited! 

 

I have tons of girl stuff.

 

Do you need anything? 

[Meadowlark]

I hope the rest of your pregnancy and delivery go well. When are you due?

 

I will have a scheduled csection the last week of July. 16 week appointment today-all is well thank God!

[Meadowlark]

I have tons of girl stuff.

 

Do you need anything? 

I will pm you :-)

[barnwife]

I will pm you :-)

PM me too if you want...I also have baby girl stuff looking for a home. I am glad today's appt. was a good one.

[Mergath]

Would it help if the stuff went to women in need? I know that where I live, there are several organizations which are always looking for baby stuff to give to women in need, ie. homeless women, women fleeing abusive relationships, that kind of thing.

[mommyoffive]

Would it help if the stuff went to women in need? I know that where I live, there are several organizations which are always looking for baby stuff to give to women in need, ie. homeless women, women fleeing abusive relationships, that kind of thing.

 

I would love to find out how to do that near me.  How do you locate something like that? 

[Guest]

Are you done having kids? (If too intrustive, feel free to ignore or tell me to butt out).

Maybe. We decided before Benjamin was ever born that we were done for at least four to five years because we need to build a bigger place and didn't want to try to do it with pregnancy and associated expenses. Plus I needed a break to get on top of homeschooling a little better. It's been babies for a decade straight and I'm starting to feel stretched too thin so it made sense for a number of reasons to pause.

 

Then with the mystery health issues that caused the placental insufficiency and hypoxia with Benjamin, we are trying to dig down with specialists and figure out if this was a one off or if I can even safely have other pregnancies with something like blood thinners to counteract the problems. We just don't know. So that has reinforced our previous decision to be done for awhile at least.

 

And yeah, we may be done forever. Especially if the health stuff is persistent and untreatable as it might be, I have to be here for the kids I have and can't risk strokes and such that are preventable. Or if we are looking at high odds of dangers to the babies then I think being done is wise as well. I'm also genuinely leaning toward being done just because I want to move to the next phase of life with big kids. Especially once we have Benjamin as a kindergartener we might not want to go back for another batch of babies. I'm feeling pretty content right now.

 

 

Hilariously, we ditched the clothing not because we might be done so much as our house can't fit us anymore. So getting rid of four or six banker boxes of clothes frees up much needed space. Because I figure if we do have more kids down the road we can re buy what we need. But right now we need to have less stuff for any number of reasons and tossing everything Holly is done wearing is the most sensible way to do it. I'll give away each she as Benjamin goes through them too.

 

How's that for an overly complex answer to a seemingly simple question!? :p

[Zoo Keeper]

I would love to find out how to do that near me.  How do you locate something like that? 

 

I directly contacted area shelters (homeless shelter, women's shelter).  The number was in the phone book.  They were thrilled with any women's or children's items. I have given maternity clothes, baby clothes, children's clothes, games, puzzles, books and other items.

Edited February 17, 2017 by Zoo Keeper

[Mergath]

I would love to find out how to do that near me.  How do you locate something like that? 

 

Around here I see ads in the newspaper and other places, mostly. You could try contacting your local social services or something like a local United Way office and ask them for specific groups in need. Or just google for groups in your area that help women leave abusive relationships. They almost always need baby stuff because there are a lot of women who have to flee with only their kids and the clothes on their backs.

[Lecka]

There is a special pair of overalls my older son had, that I think of when I read about keeping clothes.

 

I loved those overalls and he wore them all the time.

 

He was about 2 or 3 I think.

 

I wished I could have them again for my younger son.

 

But they were honestly worn and not in good enough condition to keep when he outgrow them.

 

I love to see them in pictures.

 

Absolutely adorable!!!!!

 

I feel like almost all the specials are worn or stained so then I feel like I should not keep them.

 

My daughter had 3 onesies with ruffles one the bottom that were my favorites on her.

 

They also were very worn and so I donated them. For them I was sad they looked bad but happy she got a lot of wear from them. She did a lot of crawling in them :)

Edited February 17, 2017 by Lecka

[mommyoffive]

I directly contacted area shelters (homeless shelter, women's shelter).  The number was in the phone book.  They were thrilled with any women's or children's items. I have given maternity clothes, baby clothes, children's clothes, games, puzzles, books and other items.

 

Thanks.

 

I will look into it.

[mommyoffive]

Around here I see ads in the newspaper and other places, mostly. You could try contacting your local social services or something like a local United Way office and ask them for specific groups in need. Or just google for groups in your area that help women leave abusive relationships. They almost always need baby stuff because there are a lot of women who have to flee with only their kids and the clothes on their backs.

 

I will give it a try. Thanks