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5 yr old and pacifiers


Janeway
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Wondering about something. When the baby was born, 5 yr old was still 3 yrs old. She started taking the baby's pacifiers every time, telling us that she was the baby. We ended up stopping giving the baby pacifiers and that was it. Now, when 5 yr old got Baby Alive, she wanted pacifiers for the doll. I dug up the old, pretty much unused pacifiers, which included old ones of hers-so not newborn size-that looked hardly used or not used. However, problem is, I keep catching her sucking them herself. I will go to wake her up in the morning and find that she slept with one in her mouth. 

 

As a result, I have started cutting a small slit in to each pacifier so there is nothing to suck. She can still use with her dolls, but it can't really be sucked. 

 

Am I just being cruel? She looks so sad. It just seems wrong for her to have those in her mouth.  It is not like she is a toddler who is using them to sooth or anything. She is pretending to be a baby. However, I have caught her sleeping with them a few times lately. What do you think?

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When I was 5/6 years old, I used to suck my finger.  I suppose it was like sucking a thumb, but for some reason it was a finger.

 

My mother was so upset about it.  I think she worried I'd get buck teeth.  Well, I did get buck teeth, but my mother had them, so I think it's genetic.  She was also probably embarrassed because I was too old to be doing this.  We lived in England at the time and she probably also felt like it was a poor reflection on Americans, with their finger-sucking 6 year olds.   :)

 

Anyway, she tried putting a bitter tasting liquid on my finger that she got from the doctor (I'd just lick it off and keep going.)  She would tell me constantly to take my finger out of my mouth.  

 

Eventually I just stopped.  Maybe it was her constant telling me to, I dunno. I have no insights into why I felt the need to suck my finger.

 

I think it's safe to quietly take the pacifiers, but don't make a fuss over it.  Just figure out a way to take them away and give her some reason for it that doesn't shame her about how she likes them.  Figure out a reason that has nothing to do with her.  I'm tired and not coming up with something clever right now, but I'm sure you'll come up with something.   :)

 

The point:  I guess some kids are like me and do this past the age it's expected.  Don't make her feel bad about it, I'm hoping it's a normal thing, since it was something I did and I like to think that I'm normal ;) .  (Also, if the doctor had a bitter liquid designed just for finger suckers, then it was probably very normal since there were enough kids doing this to warrant someone producing a solution to the problem.)  Quietly remove the pacifiers and hope she doesn't start sucking her finger!

Edited by Garga
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Kids will quit on their own or they won't. I sucked my fingers til I was 7/8. My cousin still sucks her thumb from time to time. She's a 38yo mother of two. I think the more it's harped on (and cousin had spiced stuff, bitters, and spiked retainers), the more it becomes a battle of wills.

Edited by Sneezyone
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I sucked on stuff.  I wasn't big on my fingers but I would suck on my knuckles.  I think it is a sensory seeking thing for a lot of kids but it also can very much still be about soothing even as an older child.  It was soothing for me.  Since I didn't have access to pacifiers, besides my knuckles I sucked on the blanket I slept with, or I sucked on candy canes (which I hated, by the way, so I would dip them in water between sucks) or I would suck on spoons or whatever else and I did that for years and years.  I think it was a combination of sensory seeking and soothing.

 

I would be concerned that sucking on a pacifier all night very well might lead to some dental/jaw placement issues but I'm no expert.  A dentist or oral hygienist might have more accurate feedback on that one.

 

I agree with Garga 100%, though, please do NOT make this a huge deal or shame her for her desire to suck on pacifiers or try to make her see "logic" by lecturing her that she is no longer a baby and shouldn't need these things.  It could hurt her sense of self, make her feel like she is "bad".  How do you know she isn't using them to sooth? This may tie in to many things including  needing soothing, needing sensory input, wanting reassurance that even with a younger sibling she is still cherished and loved, plus a whole host of other things that might be relevant.  Maybe show her a lot of sympathy and just ask her why she feels the need to suck on them.  She may not be able to articulate it but if you open up a dialogue and don't make it sound like you are irritated or embarrassed, it might help her to think it through with you.  Maybe the two of you could come up with something else that would provide what she needs.

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It is not like she is a toddler who is using them to sooth or anything. She is pretending to be a baby. However, I have caught her sleeping with them a few times lately. What do you think?

Actually, it does sound to me like she is using them to soothe.

 

I don't think letting her have them would be doing any harm.

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Hey, here's a question I have been wondering about for a long time: when I lived near Paris in the late 80's-early 90's, pacifier pendants (made of glass) were all the rage among the middle school girl set. It was the oddest trend. What I don't know is if that was a local thing or widespread.

 

So tell me: were pacifier pendants a thing at the time in other parts of the world?

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Hey, here's a question I have been wondering about for a long time: when I lived near Paris in the late 80's-early 90's, pacifier pendants (made of glass) were all the rage among the middle school girl set. It was the oddest trend. What I don't know is if that was a local thing or widespread.

 

So tell me: were pacifier pendants a thing at the time in other parts of the world?

Yes. In los Angeles they were. As well as real pacifiers on a string, to help with grinding teeth when rolling on x.

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Hey, here's a question I have been wondering about for a long time: when I lived near Paris in the late 80's-early 90's, pacifier pendants (made of glass) were all the rage among the middle school girl set. It was the oddest trend. What I don't know is if that was a local thing or widespread.

 

So tell me: were pacifier pendants a thing at the time in other parts of the world?

 

 

In 2016, I saw several late elementary-middle school girls buying blinking pacifiers at the roller skating rink.  They sucked them while skating.  

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Hey, here's a question I have been wondering about for a long time: when I lived near Paris in the late 80's-early 90's, pacifier pendants (made of glass) were all the rage among the middle school girl set. It was the oddest trend. What I don't know is if that was a local thing or widespread.

 

So tell me: were pacifier pendants a thing at the time in other parts of the world?

 

I remember them being a thing in my youngest sister's peer group.  She claimed it was supposed to mean smokers are basically bippy-sucking babies or something.  :P

 

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We learned in one of my Communicative Disorders classes (articulation perhaps?) that extended pacifier use can cause speech issues. I was already against extended binky use and was glad to see that there is legitimate justification for it :)

I believe that the harm is done by daytime pacifier use. When child grips the pacifier in their teeth, and can't speak clearly our at all because of the obstruction, that's a problem. Occasional nighttime use its unlikely to cause a problem.

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I would just have them disappear. I would not be opposed to buying a doll-sized pacifier that has no rubber teat. Like, if it just had a peg that inserts into the doll's mouth.

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We learned in one of my Communicative Disorders classes (articulation perhaps?) that extended pacifier use can cause speech issues. I was already against extended binky use and was glad to see that there is legitimate justification for it :)

That's possible. But since my pacifier using 11 year old spoke with adult pronunciation and in full sentences by a year and has great teeth, I haven't worried about those things.

 

My older daughter gave up using a bottle before bed on her own around age 7 or 8.

Edited by Terabith
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