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Children's theater--am I a monster?


Moxie
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I get invited to a lot of plays and performances put on by children we know. My own DD does a lot of theater and we're always encouraged to invite everyone, hang signs, etc. I don't do that.

 

Does anyone actually want to watch a child, that is not related to them, perform?? I go to my own children's things because I love them and I'm proud of them and I have no choice. I don't go because the play will be great. Am I a monster??

Edited by Moxie
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My dc are involved in theatre. They don't really do children's theatre, but some of their friends do. I'm happy to take them to support their friends several times a year. I don't wake up in the morning and long to see it, but it doesn't bother me. We usually go with a group of friends and have a fun dinner before the show.

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Depends on the production. Ds's last production at the children's teaching theater that he performs at was genuinely fun to watch. It was middle and high school kids mostly. They put on a good show. There's another children's teaching theater that sells their productions out most of the time because families like to see them - they're creative and interesting and in a really great theater space they share with a professional theater. And there are a couple of high schools that lots of people go see the shows at because they have a reputation for doing such a good job - it's a cheap way to take your kids to see a big musical. Other ds's Nutcracker is a school Nutcracker, but they do 16 shows over the holiday season in two very large venues and they are usually very well attended. The ballet spring concert he'll be in in April just does two, but it will also have people who aren't connected to the kids necessarily.

 

But, of course, we've also seen productions that are really only interesting if you know the kids and want to be proud of them. And a few that were almost painful to watch.

Edited by Farrar
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Sometimes families go with younger kids, in whom they may want to cultivate an interest in theatre -- little kids won't have an issue with the "quality" of a play, and it's cheap.

 

Old folks may go because it's often cheap, daytime, and cute.

 

Some people may go to 'support' a school, or show community spirit, or to help fund the program because they believe it's a good cause.

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Sometimes I like to know about other kids' performances in a casual chatty way. Sometimes it works out that, "oh, we just read that book, I'm interested to see it performed." or "that play sounds interesting" I do assume, though, that you have no interest in seeing the Nutcracker again.

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I have been invited to two this year.

 

Both were expensive tickets!    One was a dinner theater (with spaghetti and garlic toast.....can you say yuck carb load!) for $28 and the other for $18 with no food.

 

WHAT????  For a school performance????

 

Nope, I love my friends and their kids, but NO.

 

Signed,

 

Dawn, another monster.

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I took my kids to see some children's theater productions when they were younger just because (we had no connection to anyone performing). I just really love live theater and living in a more rural area, there aren't nearly as many options for us as there are for those who live in more populated areas. We always enjoyed it.

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We try to go see friends in productions - but we don't always make it. My kids like to support friends if possible. I won't say I look forward to it like I would a professional performance.  But when the ticket prices are high (>$15/ticket is my price limit), we don't go.  Some have been good, some have been decent, some have been painful. 

 

If you are a monster, my dh is too. He refuses to do. Fine, saves us $$. 

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I don't think anyone should feel obligated to go. But I don't take offense at being invited. I do sometimes feel bad when my kids ask their friends to all come see them because I know the cost can add up. But on the other hand, I feel like everyone should skip it if they need to or want to. And no one is a monster for not wanting to see it.

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I've only gone to my own son's performances. Oops, nope. I have gone to see a couple of the high school shows when my other son had friends in it and he wanted to go see them. It was before he could drive himself so I saw the show too. It's fun when you know the kids performing. It was more fun in the earlier years of the school when the ticket price was just a couple dollars each. But then they decided to go with Name Brand scripts and tickets went up to $10 each. Which somehow made it not as fun. And I'm not really interested in seeing shows put on by school kids I don't know.

 

This thread reminds me that it's been ages since we've seen a college-level or community production. Years ago we knew a young woman who was involved in her college theater program and a group of friends would go together. It was great! Now I'm going to see if our local college has anything scheduled.

 

ETA: just checked the college and it seems they like to do heavy drama. Except this weekend is Peter and the Starcatchers but dd and I are sick. Argh!

Edited by Cinder
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There's a very active children's theater group here with multiple levels, and we used to get barraged.

 

Like you, I don't have the time for this sort of thing, and at times we didn't really have the money either.

 

Now with just a 12th grader at home, they invitations have pretty much stopped though.

Edited by G5052
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I have gone to high school events of all kinds (choir, orchestra, musical) with random invites or mentions.

 

I have taken a younger child I think may choose to play an instrument.

 

I think it is nice to go, but nobody has ever been pushy and things are free or $5/adult $3/child.

 

If I knew anybody who went to the high school football games I would attend in the same way. When I think I will have a nice time and see someone I know at intermission or before it starts, and enjoy it, it is a nice time.

 

Also I live in a smaller town ;)

 

Edit: I have never been invited or heard an announcement about anything except a high school thing.

 

At church if there is a high school student in any sport or activity then it is common for parents to announce their games and events during announcement time.

 

But the last time there has been a sport was a girl who is about 20 now who played soccer and softball.

 

I never went to her stuff but it would have been a social opportunity for me if I had.

Edited by Lecka
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Unless it is a community theater that allows kids to participate when there are appropriate parts, but isn't a "children's theater," I have always thought 99.9% of the audience for any kids' performance events are parents, grandparents, siblings, and other duty-bound people. Honestly, if I could get out of attending some of my own kids' performances, I'd be happy. Some are good, but others go on and on and on....

 

 

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I like seeing kids i know in children's theatre. I don't want to pay high prices but I like to attend the cheaper school shows. I truly enjoy watching kids I know perform in a play that is short and inexpensive :)

 

Dance recitals, nope. My own daughter dances and I try to make my nieces' recitals twice a year. But I would not want to arrend a recital just for a friend. But I might if it was cheap and short. I like being supportive of people we love.

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I've taken my kids to performances where we didn't know anyone. I enjoy theater, and plays put on by kids appeal to other kids; also, they tend to be family friendly both in content and venue/audience expectations.

 

And: inexpensive :)

Edited by maize
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Monster isn't the right word.  If you get an invitation that doesn't interest you or isn't feasible, then don't regret declining.  However, our family loves to attend community events or shows.  We cannot afford to pay for professional events. I look for events that are $10 or less per ticket.  I love that my children can have exposure to plays, sports or concerts.  I would see Nutcracker every year, but the lowest ticket prices I can find are $15 each so we go every few years.  The alternative would be $70 per ticket for professional Nutcracker; I've been once and went alone.  I do wish you would consider the advertising for your own events.  I know that there are school plays and concerts that we would enjoy attending but I hate hearing about them after the fact. I need to see the flyer at the grocery store or have a friend share facebook info.

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We haven't been involved in children's theater but have done dance for many years. At our old dance studio, we had to sell a certain quota of tickets as a participation requirement. I only ever asked family members.

 

However, their Nutcracker was a huge deal. It was staged in a theater that had around 2,500 seats, and there were nine shows. They didn't sell out most of the time, but each year they sold 8,000-9,000 seats. There were many thousands of people from the community who came but didn't have any children in the show (it was not a production with professional dancers but was a student production with professional quality staging).

 

The Nutcracker is unique, I think. But my point is that I had reticence about selling tickets to non-family members (I even didn't like to offer them to family members each year, because I didn't want them to feel obligated), but perhaps it doesn't bother people to be asked. They can always say no.

 

 

Edited by Storygirl
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A friend had a 3rd grader in the big yearly school play. She said her daughter would love for my dd to come see the play, so I said yes (thought it would be good exposure for dd to see a play and to feel like she is supporting a friend).

Once I confirmed the date and time and asked about ticket prices, my friend told me she already bought our tickets for us and that it was her treat. I bought the tickets the next year, and I still wanted to go for the same two reasons, 1) to support the friend and 2) to expose my dd to theater.

 

Now this year, lots of casual acquaintances told me about their kids performing in The Nutcracker and one other play in December and I just didn't have time or interest in making time for those.

 

So I guess I'd go to support close friends. Others, not so interested.

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I go to high school (and sometimes middle school) musicals a lot-Usually the kids make up with enthusiasm for skill :). (And there are sometimes special bonuses-my DD loved going to the Parochial school performance of Little Shop of Horrors where the skid row graffitti was in Latin). Plus, they're cheap.

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When my kids were young home schoolers we went to lots of theater productions aimed at kids, some with adult actors, some with kid actors. They loved it. Our high school does amazing productions and they're really more like community theater. While high schoolers play leads and lots of supporting roles (middle and elementary school kids too), some key character roles go to amazing adult actors in our community. They also do shows I want to see. We've been to Annie, Oliver, Fiddler on the Rood, The Music Man, and Mary Poppins (my high schooler was in the last two), and we'll go to this year's show, Cats. I will go every year, even when my kids graduate. In a more rural area, this is our best chance to see some pretty good productions. I have no trouble advertising the high school shows and encouraging people to go because the shows are really good.

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A friend had a 3rd grader in the big yearly school play. She said her daughter would love for my dd to come see the play, so I said yes (thought it would be good exposure for dd to see a play and to feel like she is supporting a friend).

Once I confirmed the date and time and asked about ticket prices, my friend told me she already bought our tickets for us and that it was her treat. I bought the tickets the next year, and I still wanted to go for the same two reasons, 1) to support the friend and 2) to expose my dd to theater.

 

Now this year, lots of casual acquaintances told me about their kids performing in The Nutcracker and one other play in December and I just didn't have time or interest in making time for those.

 

So I guess I'd go to support close friends. Others, not so interested.

 

I have done this in the past when my daughter was performing in a professional production. She really wanted her close friends to come, but I can't (in good conscience) ask anyone to pay $40-100 per ticket to come see my child on stage. We also get a small discount on tickets, so it costs us less to buy the tickets for her friends and bring them along with us than it would cost them to buy the tickets themselves.

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For a close friend, I"d want to share the experience of a signifcant theater role.
For most everyone esle, it's like MLM.  Friends present you with an "opportunity' to spend money to support their interest .................... since it's a friend it's not always easy to say no

 

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I go to see the play or musical if its high school age or higher. If its a friends' child or one of my children's friends, its a bonus. Its always fun to see talent come out, and it gives us conversational material later. I didn't grow up in an area where drama was a big part of community, so its fun to see the kids enjoy the productions. Musical theater has been fun.

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I get invited to a lot of plays and performances put on by children we know. My own DD does a lot of theater and we're always encouraged to invite everyone, hang signs, etc. I don't do that.

 

Does anyone actually want to watch a child, that is not related to them, perform?? I go to my own children's things because I love them and I'm proud of them and I have no choice. I don't go because the play will be great. Am I a monster??

My youngest does children's theater. I try to take him to some of the other performances put on by his theater group because his friends are in them. When he's in shows, friends of his (theater and non-theater friends) will come watch to support him. :)

 

ETA: You're fine not going. No monster-ness there. While we appreciate the friends who have time to come watch, we'd never want anyone to feel pressured or obligated. That takes the fun right out of it.

Edited by myfunnybunch
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Does anyone actually want to watch a child, that is not related to them, perform?? 

 

I don't know if anyone does, but I surely don't! 

 

If a close relative's child had a large role in a production, I might go see it, but mainly for the sake of maintaining good family relationships. Some people seem sensitive about these things. I would have almost no real interest, though, and would be happy for a good excuse not to attend.  :)

Am I a monster??

 

No. (Or if you are, I am too.)

Edited by MercyA
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I don't even invite extended family to my kids' theater productions.  Of course I love them.  :)  But no, I don't have any inclination to attend kiddy productions that my kids aren't in.

 

Well, I will amend that - I have taken my kids to see some local high school productions that sound interesting.  It was more to educate my kids than anything else.

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I don't think you're a monster.  One of my kids does a ton of theater.  One does occasional theater and also dances and takes voice.  I suspect she is getting more interested, she starts rehearsals for a show this week.  I will hang posters and postcards as I am able (I have about a dozen public bulletin boards I post on, I don't go out of my way) and I'll advertise on social media a little. 

 

I think it does depend on the show quality.  Like actual school productions, those are for families primarily.  Community theater - depends on the company here.  Some border on professional quality and some are all volunteer and very inclusive.  The ticket price usually reflects that.   I've seen amazing youth shows and marginal adult shows.  Theater here is pretty competitive, so usually the talent is good.  My kid was in a production over the holidays in a more professional company with paid adult actors.  That show sold out 750 seats for almost all 45 shows.  We had many friends and relatives show up for that.  Heck, people we knew that didn't know my kid was in that show showed up.

 

I do like to go see kids we know in productions even if they aren't amazing quality productions.  And I know my kids appreciate it when their friends show up.  We budget quite a bit to go see shows.  But I don't think less of friends that never come.  It's the more performing arts oriented families that typically show up. 

 

As an aside, my dd is a dancer and has been in abbreviated versions of the Nutcracker.  I've seen the Nutcracker done on big stages with friends in it in a small way.  I've seen enough Nutcracker to last my entire life.  LOL.  Not my favorite.

Edited by WoolySocks
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