Ginevra Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 One person I work with sometimes tends to say this a lot whenever a small issue or problem happens. For example, in calling about a bill that was double-paid, person will say, "I had no idea this was the same bill." It always seems "testy" to me, especially if this is a text, not a verbal conversation. I'm wondering if I'm just being touchy or if that sounds a little testy to other ears. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No. Sounds the same to me as "I didn't realize..." 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Could be a bit defensive, but I also don't read defensive as hostile. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No, not at all. I had no idea it could sound hostile. :lol: 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I use the phrase when it applies. But I could see how it might be taken in context to mean "why didn't somebody tell me this"? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No. I hear it as synonym for "I did not know" or "I did not realize". Why should that sound hostile? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I don't think it's hostile unless it is drippingly sarcastic. Ex. "I had no idea that algebra was so completely useless that high school students should not be bothered with it." Or, "I had no idea that raising the price of gasoline could impact the poor." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I could see it might be a little testy in a certain context. I don't think it necessarily is though depending on the conversation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No. I hear it as synonym for "I did not know" or "I did not realize". Why should that sound hostile? I think I hear it the way SKL said; "Why didn't somebody tell me?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I think it sounds like the person genuinely didn't know and is trying to figure it out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 (edited) All in the tone. It can go a lot of ways. Kinda like "bless your heart." Edited February 9, 2017 by Seasider 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No. It does not sound hostile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 (edited) Just ignore it, because obviously, now she knows. Doesn't matter whether she feels she needs to deflect blame, or thinks she's so important that everyone should have informed her of everything MUCH sooner, or is just simply saying it (with no agenda) because it's true...she didn't know, but now she does, so proceed from there. The only reason to try to figure out why she says "I had no idea," is if it's YOUR job to share information with her and you might not be doing that correctly. :) Edited February 9, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No, it doesn't sound hostile at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No, it just sounds like "I didn't know". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Not sure if it fits in this situation but I hear "I had no idea" as they really do have an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 It depends on the tone of voice used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 If it's your job to convey the information, then I guess it could read as slightly hostile, like a mild rebuke? But not generally. Without a pretty specific context I wouldn't have ever thought that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Just ignore it, because obviously, now she knows. Doesn't matter whether she feels she needs to deflect blame, or thinks she's so important that everyone should have informed her of everything MUCH sooner, or is just simply saying it (with no agenda) because it's true...she didn't know, but now she does, so proceed from there. The only reason to try to figure out why she says "I had no idea," is if it's YOUR job to share information with her and you might not be doing that correctly. :) I like this. This is the measure of the situation. I am being hyper-sensitive because of the person. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I had no idea that "I had no idea" might sound hostile to the receiver :p 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I don't know about hostile, but maybe dramatic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 One person I work with sometimes tends to say this a lot whenever a small issue or problem happens. For example, in calling about a bill that was double-paid, person will say, "I had no idea this was the same bill." It always seems "testy" to me, especially if this is a text, not a verbal conversation. I'm wondering if I'm just being touchy or if that sounds a little testy to other ears. :) It must sound that way to you because of your experience with this person. On its face, it does not sound testy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 no..how else would one say this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 No. Unless the tone is distinctly testy I would view that as a neutral remark. Maybe a bit defensive. Perhaps coy and insincere if someone is claiming not to know something they ought to know ("I had no idea it's not ok to ask prospective employees if they are pregnant" or some such nonsense). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Since it seems like this person uses the phrase a lot, it seems to me that the person: 1) is not very good at his/her job & is pretty clueless 2) is using this phrase as a defense mechanism to avoid getting in trouble I would just tend to ignore it after awhile & continue to impart information as needed. I would stay neutral, not worry about the tone, & continue to shift the stuff back to the person for correcting/rectifying as needed. Maybe the person will eventually get a clue that it is twice as much work to do the work twice. Duh! If not, then see #1 above. :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Depends on tone. Not hostile if surprised or apologetic. Hostile if accusatory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 To me, yes. The reason defensive language bothers me is because it assumes the other person was attacking in some way. If not asked for an explanation or not attacked/accused then don't offer excuses. If being attacked or accused then "I had no idea" has its place. Just my two cents on a pet peeve! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Nope. But its repetition could be annoying. :0). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 (edited) My guess is that this is your sister-in-law, and like I am with one of mine, everything she says is filtered through all of your past bad moments. So I have a sister-in-law who I always think is performance parenting. She probably isn't, but because she has done petty things over the years, I see her in that light all the time. I know it's not right, but she really just rubs me the wrong way. Edited February 9, 2017 by Caroline 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Not when reading it, but if it had a particular tone, yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 citing the example you gave - it sounds defensive. (I see hostile as more aggressive offense.) are they normally fairly clueless and perhaps dealing with a sense of inferiority in their level of competence? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Although maybe it's a lie. In that case I could see how it would come off as defensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 It depends on the delivery. It can very easily sound, at the least, dismissive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 My guess is that this is your sister-in-law, and like I am with one of mine, everything she says is filtered through all of your past bad moments. So I have a sister-in-law who I always think is performance parenting. She probably isn't, but because she has done petty things over the years, I see her in that light all the time. I know it's not right, but she really just rubs me the wrong way. Good guess. 😠Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 citing the example you gave - it sounds defensive. (I see hostile as more aggressive offense.) are they normally fairly clueless and perhaps dealing with a sense of inferiority in their level of competence? She generally seems to think she should be advised of every little thing, whereas I just see work that needs to be done and I do it so it doesn't sit there undone. So, for example, the tax paperwork came in for our now-defunct company. Seeing it there and knowing there is a deadline for filing, I just sent them in. But then she came by the office intending to do the tax filing, but it was already done. So here comes her stock phrase, "I had no idea you sent the taxes in already." So I guess it inconvenienced her that I filed them but didn't inform her; meanwhile, I just did them because only I go to the office regularly anymore and didn't want to leave them sit there and lapse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) Once in a while, appropriate. Used often , it's hyperbolic and childish. But not hostile . Edited February 12, 2017 by poppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 She generally seems to think she should be advised of every little thing, whereas I just see work that needs to be done and I do it so it doesn't sit there undone. So, for example, the tax paperwork came in for our now-defunct company. Seeing it there and knowing there is a deadline for filing, I just sent them in. But then she came by the office intending to do the tax filing, but it was already done. So here comes her stock phrase, "I had no idea you sent the taxes in already." So I guess it inconvenienced her that I filed them but didn't inform her; meanwhile, I just did them because only I go to the office regularly anymore and didn't want to leave them sit there and lapse. That I would interpret as a little more hostile. More like, "Why didn't you tell me you filed those? I wasted my time and it's your fault." At least that's how I would hear it. I don't think you're off base. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 No, but I tend to take people at face value. If they said, "I had no idea," I literally would think they meant they didn't realize, but had now come to the realization. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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