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He is such an angry little boy.


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G, the poor little fellow I have been caring for is only 3. His brother is the one whose antics I have mentioned in other posts. I have waited to share this because I needed time. The three year old really hurt my dd the other day. Instead of going to church we went to the ER. The doctors said she had a slight concussion. G tripped her and she fell and hit her head on the cabinet door. He had absolutely no remorse, no concern. As he saw her crying and everyone else was concerned, he just said, "I want more juice." He has been telling my children to "Fall dead," whenever he gets angry.

 

All this anger and aggression started right after he asked me for a hug at bedtime. The more willing he gets to accept love and tenderness, the more he strikes out at the other children. I think he is confused and scared to feel the love. I really think we are looking at an attachment disorder or attachment issues.

 

The last few days have been better. I have been giving him lots of opportunities to knead bread dough, squish playdough, leap in the ball pit and things like that. We talk about getting the mad out when we knead the bread. I am reading up on helping children deal with loss and separation. he is only here about 2 more weeks, so I don't know how much of a difference any of it will make, but my heart breaks for this angry little boy.

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Wow. I can only imagine what a time you're having.

 

Could it be he is afraid that you are going to someday withhold that love? Perhaps he's testing you to see if you'll still love on him no matter how awful he acts.

 

Hang in there. For him to be that age and not very verbal about his feelings is doubly difficult. Love him as long as you can.

 

Maria

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he's testing you. Also three is all about finding self and pushing the behavioral limits. I found the "terrible twos" to be all about physical development and physical limits. They were hard but not nearly like the mental gymnastics of three and finding out all about the self. Hang in there. Plenty of unconditional love at the right times and plenty of appropriate places to channel anger. It sounds like your doing all the right things. It's just that parenting, truly parenting, is hard. These kids are lucky to have you.

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to the other kids when he gets the most attention and love from you because at some level he is "defending" that precious gift from you? He doesn't want the other kids to have it or steal it (your time, your attention) from him because perhaps it is so precious and uncommon to him. Of course this is sad, but it would seem normal for a boy who's not getting any love otherwise. He perhaps hasn't witnessed the normal and healthy expressions and interactions of love elsewhere, and this just may be his reaction to a new and nice idea - love.

 

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. Bless you for caring for him! Good luck.... - Stacey in MA

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I hate to be the lone dissenter here...but it's the lack of consience that bother's me here. Even at that age children understand when someone is hurt and naturally want to make them feel better. If this kid can't even show any concern for a hurt "family" member there are huge problems. Having a conseince is something that can't be learned. I thought my step-daughter just needed love and understanding. She's almost 18 and still has no consience or compassion for others. My husband and I worked with her for 11 years, once we discovered the problem. We loved on her, gave her tools for working out her frustration, talked alot about how others felt as well as how she felt. If anyone has a success story for dealing with a child like this I'd love to hear it. It would give me hope that she'll eventually be fine. But saying to just love this little boy is falling short of his needs.

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