Moved from town to a farm and hate it? Share your story!

[Mergath]

The smell of manure.  I grew up on a small farm surrounded by a lot of other small farms.  Manure was around, there were some bad days but it was tolerable.  People pastured animals frequently.  I have now moved to the land of Factory Farms.  People around here call them family farms, but when you have 8 chicken barns, each as long as a football field, I don't consider you a small family operation.  It's very flat here, so it's easy to till, so hardly anyone has animals on pasture.  This means all manure needs to be dealt with, and there's a lot of it.   

 

We live on the edge of a tiny farming community (they're mostly bigger than hobby farms, but not factory farms) and holy crap (ha!) does it stink. If it's warm out, all you can smell is manure. Living on an actual farm and being ground zero for the source must take a lot of getting used to.

 

[Mergath]

I am still waiting for a neighbor's cow to escape and come here. It is really fun to watch the cows and calves. They all need baths, but aside from that, they fascinate me.

 

This happens all the time around here. There's this one farm whose cows are always getting out and wandering into the road. I'm always worried when I drive down that stretch of highway that I'm going to end up hitting a cow as it wanders out again. The farm is run by an elderly couple, and I think they must not have the time or energy to maintain the fencing like they should.

[lewelma]

We lived in an Ecovillage in rural New Zealand when my oldest was a baby. Our property was a thin finger of land that followed a stream 4 miles into a virgin forest. It was just beautiful, think Lord of the Rings beautiful.  I just could not believe it the day we moved in.  They had built us a cabin about a half mile away from the main farm house, and we lived without water, sewer, or electricity.  (yes, it was an ecovillage) We could even drink directly out of the stream.

 

There were so many things to love, but yet we lasted only 3 months.  It was not the simplicity of the living conditions that drove us out, they were actually why we stayed as long as we did.  In the end it came down to the lack of civilization.

 

What we hated was the limited number of people that we could interact with each day. There were 10 people near us, and then the closest town was about 30 minutes away, and it was small and poor. There was no one to talk to that was intellectual, at least not intellectual like us.

 

We hated the fences everywhere. We were running cows until we could reorganize the economics of the property, and everywhere you went you were constantly opening and closing gates.  It was just not the wild open spaces that I had imagined.  

 

The work was hard and demanding.  And everywhere you looked there was more to do. The finances limited our ability to meet our vision.  Something as simple as repairing fences in a 1/2 mile by 4 mile long property in a mountainous area is crazy expensive.  So we were constantly making do.  It was discouraging.

 

Auckland was the closest city with a decent library, but it was 4 hours away, and crazy big and busy after being on the farm.

 

The flies.  Enough said.

 

And finally the choices for making money.  The goal was to live off the land, but the best option was to become fur trappers.  Yes, you read right. Fur trappers. Possums here are  introduced and *destroying* the native forest and are incredibly valued for their fur. We could pull 200 *sustainably* out of the forest every week. We would make money, and we would be doing the ecological landscape a great service.  But trapping. Sigh. We had to start talking about all the bodies (minus fur), and if we could sell them and if not what to do with them.  We had to evaluate poisons, traps, guns.  In the end it was more than I could handle as an PhD Ecologist. I'm not even a great animal lover, but it was just too much.  Even running the cows was more than I could handle. 

 

We left after 3 months and moved back to the city.  We still continue with the simple lifestyle; we live in a 660sq ft apartment.  But we have our intellectual needs met here with the people and the libraries and the cultural events.  Even in a more traditional rural setting, we would not survive for long.

 

Ruth in NZ

Edited January 29, 2017 by lewelma

[38carrots]

I really appreciate all the stories. Some issues are non-issues for us....Some are food for thought. Lots to think about.

 

 

[Guest]

I'm thoroughly intrigued by where Kinsa lives. Someone save me and give me a hint! :w00t:

 

ETA: nm, saw the siggy!

 

ETA#2: How do people get to live in National Parks? Do you have to work for them?

Not all NPs have employee housing actually IN the park. We have a neighborhood here because we're so far from civilization.

 

There are about 100 employees who live in the park in three different neighborhoods. Our neighborhood is the biggest one. In our neighborhood we have a *small* convenience store/gas station and a K-8 school that services about 30 children.

 

About 45 minutes away is the closest town, population of about 100 people. There is a *small* grocery store there, gas station, church, a couple restaurants and hotels to service the tourists, and a bank. This is also where the high school is. It services about 25 students. No bus service, no cafeteria, etc. Only 6 classrooms and an open air patio where kids can eat their lunches from home.

 

Two hours away (110 miles) is the closest city, population about 5000. This is the closest "real" grocery store, library, McDonald's, hospital, etc. I have to travel here about once every two weeks to take care of groceries.

 

There's nothing in between. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. Well, nothing except the border patrol stations. You can always tell the tourists because they stop and take pictures of the BP check points. LOL

Edited January 30, 2017 by Kinsa

[RKWAcademy]

A few additional down sides that others reminded me of:

 

Cows are big and can break down the edge of ponds doing a lot of damage.  They do keep some very wild areas less overgrown but they are destructive!

Fencing is expensive and always needs repair.  A graceful little deer can do damage to a fence.

If a fawn gets stuck in your fence, you have to put on your big girl pants and go cut it loose.  It will not thank you.

If you are tender-hearted at all, you will be saddened to run into a lot of death.  I could never take the reality of a really rural place. 

If you plan to breed any animals, there will be stillborn babies or dead moms.  It is heartbreaking.

Rabid skunks.

Make sure the ground isn't too rocky for a well.  My mom's land turned out to be VERY rocky.  They tried a well very, very deep but couldn't get it to work.  This was done by "experts".

You need a tractor, bush hog attachment, gator, weed eater, etc.  Gator tires are terrible and you could spend a lot of time/money repairing tires.  {but my 7 year old girl drives a gator better than most adults drive cars ;) }

Sometimes neighbors bring you unusual gifts, often strange meats/jerkies (what is the plural of Jerky?)

 

[matrips]

If I ever dream of moving to the country, I will think of this thread and stay put. The idea always seems so wonderful- simple and spacious and back to basics. But I'm realizing I would hate the reality of it. It's been an informative and interesting thread.

[Anne in CA]

Living in the country is not for the ordinary person anymore. We moved to a very rural area and LOVE it. We grew up like this and knew what we were doing. We consider the strange things to be adventure. I read the thread and thought I would mention a couple of things other people didn't. In a rural area you must understand that law enforcement is not close by. Are you willing to own and practice with a firearm and be ready to shoot an intruder? That is not a joke. Where I live law enforcement is 45 minutes away. Someone managing a gas station not far away didn't kill an intruder when he should have and was burned to death by the intruder. I wish I was not serious. It not a matter of simply protecting your possessions. Your life and your children's life is important. Another thing no one mentioned was adult children coming to visit you. I miss my adult children so much I cry over it. They don't come visit often enough. They have jobs and college. 

[Jennifer132]

We live on 13 acres and have a well, septic and propane. We moved here a year ago from a suburban development (cookie cutter homes). We love it here. But imo it does cost more. And you do have to contend with mice, sometimes finding their way in the house. And the weeds in spring time! My goodness. My husband's small tractor is constantly breaking (it's relatively new too) and he can't keep up with the weeds. Which means the kids have less land to play on. The ticks are crazy in spring too. Much worse than in the city. I'm not sure it's a simpler life; the issues are just different. Instead of noisy neighbors, you're dealing with wells and septic and wildlife. It's worth it for us, but yeah, it may not be for everyone.

[Rosie_0801]

LOL!

 

I don't think there's an English word to describe where I live. Even the word "rural" seems too urban-esque.

 

We call it "out woop-woop." Or, in your case " out bloody woop-woop somewhere." :p

 

 

 

I loved where we used to live, on property, but oh, the flies. My kitchen was full of flies from about 4.30am until 11.30pm all summer. I couldn't cook in that. We mostly ate out of tins. I didn't love fire season. It's unpleasant to be on alert 5 months of the year. I'd have gone nuts without the internet, and with only mobile internet, it cost me a small fortune. 

 

Learn about small motors. Water pumps seem not to enjoy the life they were designed for.

[Jennifer132]

How do you have rural property that isn't thirty miles away from things? Maybe my definition is skewed, but around here 30 miles is close. We are over an hour from Big City and our house is considered close in for our closest town (extremely tiny, one gas station that doesn't even have an attendent, only a pump).

We live on 13 acres and are sandwiched between two twenty acres plots. Zoned agricultural. We have farmland all around our immediate area. But we are 10 minutes to the Hwy. Ten min to Walmart and Sams. We are just on the edge of the largest city in the state.

[Liz CA]

Sometimes neighbors bring you unusual gifts, often strange meats/jerkies (what is the plural of Jerky?)

 

This is what I loved about country living. One neighbor has so many tomatoes and brings over a few mason jars. Another just came back from hunting and has some meat that doesn't fit in their freezer...ahhh.  :drool:

Where we lived, things were pretty neighborly. Everyone looked out for the other. The first year we were up there, it snowed so much that a neighbor came over with his tractor to see if we "newbies" were okay and weren't starving to death with no food or electricity.

 

Another must I forgot:

 

Get a generator! The biggest Wattage you can afford. If power goes out, it will save your sanity.

If you have a well, position the storage tank (do yourself a favor and get a large storage tank) uphill from the house so in case of power outage, the stored water will still flow downhill into your house - not the same as pressurized but a whole lot better than no water at all!

Edited January 30, 2017 by Liz CA

[Liz CA]

We live on the edge of a tiny farming community (they're mostly bigger than hobby farms, but not factory farms) and holy crap (ha!) does it stink. If it's warm out, all you can smell is manure. Living on an actual farm and being ground zero for the source must take a lot of getting used to.

 

 

Only about 15 minutes or less. Your olfactory organ then assimilates and stops sending the signals to the brain. ;)

 

[Mrs.Wilson]

The smells can be awful - it can be someone spreading manure, or the rotting cabbage field nearby, or the chicken barn you can't even see from your house, etc...

 

People are often very friendly, BUT they already have their social networks established so they aren't really interested in integrating you.  It's not that they don't like you, they just don't need you and are busy enough with their lives and the friends they already have.

 

People let their dogs roam all the time so they attack your dogs if you go on walks and they crap in your yard.

 

You don't really know what they are spraying on that field over there - but you hope it won't mutate the children and you imagine it isn't organic (or if it is, see the first comment about nasty smells).

 

Even if city people drive just as long to other things in town, they will think driving the 20-30 minutes out to see you is too far and they won't do it much (so if you want your kids to have friends or maintain relationships, you have to do the driving).

 

If you have lived urban, this might really disturb you - people you know may honk at you and pull over if you are out for a walk.  I just about died when this first happened - frantically searching for somewhere to flee from the attacker (who turned out to be a nice guy from church just saying Hi).

 

Oh, and the dirt.  It is just in the air more - the house isn't just dusty, the farm fields get plowed and the house is literally dirty.  Even if you have the windows closed, it comes eventually.  Or it gets windy.  Dirty.  

 

It isn't all bad, of course (we're still here).  But you wanted some lowlights. :)

 

Out of all the adjusting we've needed to do, moving from the city to the country, this is the hardest one.  Everyone is super friendly, but it's kind of superficial.  It's as though they already have their friends and don't really need any more.  Moving to an area where we don't know anyone has made this even harder.  Being a shy person has made this even harder.  

[Bluegoat]

​My dh and I lived on a rural property when we were first married - now we live in the city.  There were pros and cons, and actually we'd like to live rurally again someday.

 

There are some things that were particular challenges or do differently though, so I will mention them.

 

Probably the biggest thing is that even though I am an introvert, especially once I was home with a baby, I felt really isolated.  A few things contributed:

1) Friends and family rarely came to visit, and we had to go visit them.  This meant serious driving.

2) Ideally things like shopping, that got me out of the house, would have been once weekly.  Because it meant serious driving. 

3) The people where we lived were very kind, but it wasn't a really open to outsiders kind of place - in part it was just too spread out.  We'd have been better off in or close to a village with more of an identity, and possibly one a little more self-sufficient.

4) My dh had a commute there of over an hour, so he was home a lot less than he might have been.

 

One thing I realized is that although I am an introvert, I really need a social life, and being an introvert means I need to be able to spend time with people I have a real relationship with - not just people I know casually..  I need places that kind of relationship can come to be.

 

There are a few things I will look at specifically if we go rural again:

Reduced commute - either dh will retire, or be able to work at least pt from home.  Commute time was not the only issue, but a rural property and farm have other demands that take time.  I need us both to have time to do the things we want to with a rural property

I want a place that is larger so guests can stay and I don't feel quite so hemmed in as in a cottage - in the winter this was an issue. 

Open to newcomers and/or with some level of community institutions where people get together.  I'd like a church community that will work for us though this my prove impossible.

I need to think bout how my kids will get around.  I am limited in how much I can drive them, or want to.  I also don't want them stuck without  good wy to get to post-secondary ed or work.  This may prove to be a serious issue, but it will depend on how things stand as the kids get older, too.

The house and property need to be in good enough shpe, or dh willing to get them there, tht I feel comfortable.  THis was  major stressor for me in our early marriage - he would not get projects done and I was very stressed about things like the well or septic going, or how we would have enough room in the addition we planned when the bookshelves were still unfinished after months.  Or bout being set in case of a storm, for example.  Dh is better at this stuff now, but I l also would have to have a level of assurance about the shape of the property - I'm not willing to live in that situation.

 

ETA: I'd mke sure too the are had plces I could walk, at least recreationally.  No way I would move to a rural area where I needed to drive somewhere to go for a walk.  It isn't uncommon though.

 

Edited February 1, 2017 by Bluegoat

[Hilltopmom]

I think everyone else has covered it. I'll just add- we moved to town this week from our rural property.

 

I'm so over: heating with wood in the winter, 30 min drive to get milk or take teens to anything, bugs in the summer, gardening, canning... Mostly the drive though.

 

My country place in the woods is for sale, we did t even wait to sell it to move. Been there 12 years, over it.

[TravelingChris]

I agree with a lot of the disadvantages people list here.  No, I don't live in a rural area though I have a number of the same issues- ticks, coyotes, Great Horned Owls, no sidewalk, only one road to get to the rest of the area from my house which could be very bad for us in a wildfire situation.  We live in the woods and less than a half mile from a large ranch but we are in the city.  Both of us had thought about living on acreage away from people in the past, like out in the county where some people farm and others just have large home gardens and space.   Here are the reasons we decided not to:

friends who had horror stories about neighbors and because they lived out in the country, nothing could be done-- problems with vicious dogs and that kind of thing

the prevalence of burning- when we did live in the country, the burning really bothered me since I have asthma

the septic tank wasn't that much of an issue but it was expensive for our landlords when it started leaking

yes, the manure smell

getting to know the local horses, in this case, and then seeing them disappear and know they were killed (for food where we were living) but as other said, animal deaths

long distance to medical care-- if you are planning to buy this property for the long run, consider that as you get older, you need more medical care, you are less able to maintain property, and having a hospital with an ER nearby is very valuable.

Finally, being far away from restaurants, shopping, entertainment, etc.

[Bluegoat]

Oh, something else I thought of.

 

My sister lived rurally in her teen years, with my dad.  The teen social life was really different, in a way tht seems to be common in rurl areas.  All the kids, from about 12 to 23, typiclly hung out together - dances, parties on the beach, tht sort of thing.  It was close knit which was nice, but OTOH, there ws really nothing sheilding the younger ones from what was going on with the older ones, or stopping them from prticipting, for that matter. 

[Mimm]

Well, you asked for it... :)

 

I haven't read any replies so sorry if this is repetitive, but I hate small towns. I was moved to a small town when I was 14 and lived there till I was married at 19. So this is a bit of a childhood trauma story. Everyone thinks small towns are so friendly. Everyone knows your face, and they know what's going on in your life. And my small town experience was in Texas, so super friendly right? Yes, they're friendly to your face, while spreading gossip and sometimes outright lies about you behind your back. If your great great great grandparents didn't found the town, then you'll never fit in. You'll always be an outsider.

 

Not all small towns are like this. But some are. And I don't know how you find out which is which. You can't very ask your realtor, "Hey, is everyone here a gossipy, busy body who won't ever want to be friends with my kids?" Our realtor was from the area and had one of the good last names, the last names that meant he was in the in crowd. Which meant that his experience of the town was that it was a friendly welcoming place. Because it was. For him.

 

The town had a bowling ally and a single screen theater that had one showing of a movie a day. Because of this, teens had nothing to do with their time. So they drank. Did some drugs. But mostly drank. Since I was a good teenager who didn't want to drink, I didn't have friends. Seriously, zero friends who lived in that town my entire time. I tried to connect with the kids at church, but even they rejected me because I wasn't from there. It's funny, I got a tearful apology from a couple of the girls for how they treated me but I was pretty much over trying to be their friend by that point. I accepted the apology, and then nothing changed.

 

My siblings and I hated the town so much and there's zero opportunity for education or interesting work nearby so we all moved away. I'm from a large family and I think my mom thought she'd be surrounded by kids and grandkids by this time. But none of us live near her. My mom, who loved the idea of a small town, now hates it. She doesn't live near anything. The other day I was catching up with her and commented I went to Michael's and bought a bunch of art supplies. She asked what I bought and she wanted some of it, but it wasn't available on the website. Driving to Michael's is ten minutes for me, an hour for her. Same for Hobby Lobby, Lowes... any number of things. She's an hour from civilization and it's frustrating to her. When we were younger, she was more willing to run off into the nearest city, because it was a fun day trip with her teens, but now, all alone, it's something she very rarely does.

 

I can't tell you if moving to a small town is the right choice for you or your family or if your small town will suck as much as my small town. And I'm sorry if this is all discouraging. My advice, if you like the small town idea is to pick one that isn't too small, isn't too far away from something big, isn't depending on anyone to make a long commute (my dad a 1.5 hour commute), and to leave yourself some financial stability to get out of the situation if it's not working out. Don't trap yourself in the small town.

[Spryte]

I moved to a farm at 11 with my parents. Very rural. Later, after school, DH and I moved from inside a city to a very rural farm. So - I've done it twice, with different expectations each time.

 

Both times, it wasn't the work (it's a lot of work!) that drove me away. I have to agree with Lewelma. It was the lack of intellectual contact. Sure, there were (a limited number of) people, but they were not *my* people. As a child, we lucked into two neighbors (neighbor being loosely used, these people's land abutted ours but getting by to them was difficult) who were curious, well traveled and studied. Those two neighbors were a lifesaver. Just to have a real conversation... it made it bearable. I think my mother was very lonely though. She's friendly, and makes friends easily, so always had the appearance of friends. She found herself in the group of outsiders though - the families who'd been in the area for 20 - 30 years but still called "newcomers." I struggled with being new there, in a way I'd never struggled anywhere else. Those kids were not accepting of new people either! Horses were my saving grace.

 

When DH and I moved rural, we didn't know anyone. We thought we'd meet people. We did, but we had nothing in common with them, really. I was deeply lonely. We moved within a year. And when we did - I realized how happy I was not to have the work anymore, too.

 

Someone mentioned water pumps going out. oh yes. Imagine being halfway through the shower, soaped up, ready to rinse. Water pump goes out. This means exiting the shower, going outside, crawling INTO the crawl space and sitting down to prime the pump. Ugh. Never again.

[amy g.]

I didn't hate it. I was happy to move there and I was happy to move away again.

 

The driving really wore on me as well as the constant chores and never ending upkeep.

 

I loved having animals, but they require so much care, and it is beyond heartbreaking when you lose one.

 

I'm enjoying my new town of about 100,000. I like being walking distance or a short drive to everywhere I need to go.

[Mimm]

Brenham, Tx. Home of BlueBell Ice Cream. Full of racists, bigots, and some of the nastiest Christians you'll ever meet. During a major hurricane several years ago, the large church on the highway had " no help here, keep on going " written on their $50,000 neon message board. They were tired of seeing so many black people coming thru there from Houston. For years they openly blamed, in the paper, a lowering of their school ratings due to an increase in black families. My old neighborhood had a meeting once to talk about the very first black family moving in.

 

The town I was miserable in is close to Brenham and a fraction of the size. The most damaging thing that ever happened to my faith was attending church regularly in that town. I remember being about seventeen years old and looking around that sanctuary and thinking that the church was the most spiritually dead place I'd ever been. In my family, attending church was mandatory and we kids had no say in which church we attended. So it was week after week of being subjected to this.

[Carol in Cal.]

I like extremes.

City life?  Awesome.

Cabin in the forest?  Fantastic.

Cottage on water?  Dreamy.

 

Suburban life?  I'd be eating my heart out for one of the others, all the time.

 

[trulycrabby]

We don't live rural, but have five acres out in east woop woop that DH wants to retire too. It's not really a place to stay...I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view...

[Carol in Cal.]

We don't live rural, but have five acres out in east woop woop that DH wants to retire too. It's not really a place to stay...I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view...

Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue!