Tree House Academy Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) I am the rich sibling ..., my dh is the poor sibling. I love it! LOL Dh and I are only children...but I get tired of being the "poor" parent in relation to my older son's dad. And what is sad is that we make well into the triple digits salary-wise...he just has more money and is more materialistic than we are thus he buys ds11 ridiculous, extravagant things and makes us look like a. poor scum or b. scrooges. It helps the ex that he gets to pay the child support amount of someone who makes 40K a year even though he makes more like 200K a year! *sigh* I am "rich" in comparison to my mom and I do pay for her to come here, pay for things she needs and can't afford, etc. I would never expect my mom to pay a big sum of money for ANYTHING. And, when she is here, if we eat out, I pay for that too! I don't even ask!! Edited December 28, 2010 by Tree House Academy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 How horrible and mean! We aren't poor, but we do calculate our spending carefully, $800 is a LOT to pay. Dawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) Darn it. Old thread. Edited December 28, 2010 by Kleine Hexe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SDJ Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Hi Tara - I was really interested in your comments about the rich family members. I am writing a story for ABC News. Could we talk privately? Please get in touch with me at susan.james@abcnews.com And another other commenters who have a sibling who lives a completely different lifestyle (money-wise), I would love to hear from you. You can also call 609-529-0268. Susan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 :D Tara - you're getting media attention! (For everyone else - this thread is 4 years old). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 My cynical comment for the day - don't call the media! They will probably make it sound like you are the poor sibling because you are a homeschool mom. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 I told her I wasn't interested. Tara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 People don't get what it's like to live in someone else's shoes. My dh wants to know how every man he knows lately has gotten a new car. How do they afford it? Many have moms and at home with kids like us... Anyway, I get the out to eat situation and this is how I handled it last visit from my dad. Usually we go out and we would pay and it would hurt financially. This past fall I called twice to ask what he liked and such. And we literally ate every meal at home. I cooked things I knew he liked. Well it bothered him so much that this visit he made it clear I wasn't to cook. We would eat out and he would pay :tongue_smilie: My sister and I have had different financial times, sometimes we are up and sometimes they are up. Right now it's about even. And until your sisters experience your life they won't get it. I think asking her to pay the ticket was appropriate and probably made her think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Well, I'm the rich sibling I suppose- and I think your sisters ar rude and inconsiderate. When I go visit db, I pay if I want us all to go to the Aquarium. We don't go out to dinner, we eat in- and I do the grocery shopping. I think you should keep calling them on their rude behavior. That's me as well, except we are not exactly 'rich'. When I go somewhere like that with my sister, I just offer up front to pay. I either buy tickets in advance, tell the waiter to give us the check etc. When I visit her ( she lives in the tropical paradise , ftr ), we buy groceries and I do most of the cooking. It's just how it is and I get it. Divorce is a financial disaster for most women. I would never expect that she could pay for certain things. Edited April 17, 2012 by LibraryLover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 nm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) My sister acted like she simply didn't understand. She was talking about priorities and the importance of family. Yeah, my priority is to make sure my family isn't in debt when the economy rolls over and dies. She came close, but did not outright say, that she must have loved my grandmother more than I did. *grrrrrr* I finally said to her, "[sister], you know that you have way more money than we do. You also don't have kids with medical bills. If it's so important to you that I be there, then why don't you buy my ticket?" I'm not very proud of saying that, but at least she changed the subject. Does anyone else get tired of being the poor sibling? Does anyone else sometimes feel inferior around their loaded siblings? Tara your sister was way out of line - and way to go to shut her up. You totally said the right thing - even if it doesn't feel very good. it doesn't feel good because you feel like you exposed your "financial inferiority". I also think it's important that you be upfront that you can't afford something for which she's expecting you to pay. how else do you expect her to be aware if no one calls it to her attention? we've had major financial struggles at times. I've had family who made more than us at times - yet we were treated as though we made more (we didn't), as well as a number of very clueless people at church who've said things that left me boggling. that said, I've friends who are quite comfortable financially, have never had those types of sturggles who are more understanding and aware not everyone has their circumstances. iow: it's not about how much money she has that she's that clueless - it's becasue she's too self absorbed and what you said will hopefully (for her sake) give her a reality check. Edited April 17, 2012 by gardenmom5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I am the "rich sister" (relatively), but I would not behave as you have described. I always pay if I have the bright idea to do something expensive with my family. I remember my roots. I also help my parents and siblings. If I felt that a sibling badly wanted to come to a funeral but could not afford it, I'd pay. Of course, nobody wants to ask for handouts, so this is how I do it. I have money in the bank. I'm saving it for my kids' education, but they are only 5. So I tell my siblings that this is a loan, but it's "patient capital" - as long as it comes back when my kids need it in college/grad school, it's paid off. I would also let them work it off by doing stuff with my kids as they grow. If circumstances don't allow even that, I understand. I am not lying awake at night thinking about money that my family "owes" me. Hopefully, neither are they. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I hate when I get sucked into an old thread. I really should pay attention to dates . . . :tongue_smilie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 :grouphug:I dunno, Tara, I'm actually QUITE proud of you for saying that! It sounds like it really needed to be said. Now, I don't know what *tone* you said it in and that might be something to work on:D, but overall, WAY TO GO! I agree. Maybe it will wake them up. If she is that clueless, i would want my sister to tell me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I hate when I get sucked into an old thread. I really should pay attention to dates . . . :tongue_smilie: Lol welcome to the club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 haha how on earth did I miss this thread 4 years ago, it is a good one, just because I am the poor sibling and finances was teh final nail in the coffin of ended the relationship with my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I always get sucked into old threads. WIth this one, I got to the funeral part and thought "Gee, this sounds *really* familiar" :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 To the OP, I think you did the right thing. Although, I know it was not easy...I had a similar situation several months ago. It was very painful but neccessary. I am the "poor" one in my family but only unhappy when others use their money and possessions as a weapon against me. I am sorry for your loss and sorry that this situation has to be dealt with on top of everything else. :iagree: I have found that in general, people who aren't struggling just don't get it. :iagree: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Looks like this one got ressurected twice. Someone will have to post on it again in another two years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRachel Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 How did this thread get resurrected twice? Lol it's double the zombies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 How did this thread get resurrected twice? Lol it's double the zombies! Someone from the media is soliciting business. That's it in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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