Pamela H in Texas Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 In my daughter's (college) freshman English class, one of the discussion assignments is to write a paragraph or so about a date that she wanted to escape from but couldn't. My daughter is 16. She is not dating, has no interest in dating, claims she's called to singleness so not planning on ever dating. It is also not in our belief system for her to date now or anytime soon. In fact, if "dating" means one boy/one girl together alone, a couple wouldn't date until after marriage in my daughter's opinion. The only thing I can think of is for her to share that she hasn't dated nor does she plan to due to her belief system and to maybe give some other situation she wished she could have not had to stay in? Any other ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 In my daughter's (college) freshman English class, one of the discussion assignments is to write a paragraph or so about a date that she wanted to escape from but couldn't. My daughter is 16. She is not dating, has no interest in dating, claims she's called to singleness so not planning on ever dating. It is also not in our belief system for her to date now or anytime soon. In fact, if "dating" means one boy/one girl together alone, a couple wouldn't date until after marriage in my daughter's opinion. The only thing I can think of is for her to share that she hasn't dated nor does she plan to due to her belief system and to maybe give some other situation she wished she could have not had to stay in? Any other ideas? Ug. I feel for her having such an assignment. I can't imagine that she is the ONLY one who hasn't dated. Lots of college freshmen have never dated...?? Right??? Am I totally out of the loop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I believe she really needs to go to her instructor about this one. I'm sure since she cannot relate to the assignment that the instructor will be willing to adjust it, so that she can write the paper. HTH, Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriM Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I'd liberally define the word "date" as "any social situation" for the purposes of the paper. I can imagine *many* meetings, conversations, car trips and other social situations in my past that I'd love to have "escaped" from...and did so, often, in my own mind. GRIN. While she's not dating a fella, she might have participated in an interview, Sunday school class party, birthday celebration, long weekend at Grandma's or some other "tortuous" event that she envisioned escape. I'd run it by the prof, of course, but any episode that caused her to want to avoid it (like this paper!?) is probably the feeling he's looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Only, the assignment was to write about your first kiss! She just went to the teacher and explained the situtation. I believe she was allowed to write on why she believed in waiting with regard to kissing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I'd liberally define the word "date" as "any social situation" for the purposes of the paper. I can imagine *many* meetings, conversations, car trips and other social situations in my past that I'd love to have "escaped" from...and did so, often, in my own mind. GRIN. While she's not dating a fella, she might have participated in an interview, Sunday school class party, birthday celebration, long weekend at Grandma's or some other "tortuous" event that she envisioned escape. I'd run it by the prof, of course, but any episode that caused her to want to avoid it (like this paper!?) is probably the feeling he's looking for. I agree with Lori. I'd suggest that she go to the professor and explain that she's 16 yo and isn't dating yet. Then she should propose Lori's suggestion for the assignment. I don't think she owes the prof any further information about why she isn't dating, what she thinks dating is, and the fact that she may choose never to date. JMHO, Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I was always taught that when I went to someone in authority with a problem, I should also bring a potential solution or two. So, I would say, definitely speak to the professor, but she should be very sure to keep a respectful tone--no rebellion, superiority, or ANYTHING in her voice. For example, "Prof XXX, I want to complete your assignment, but I'm finding it hard since I have not been on a date. Could I write a fictional account? Could I write about my philosophy of dating? Could I write about another situation I wanted to escape but couldn't? How could I most closely fulfill your goals for this assignment?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 In my daughter's (college) freshman English class, one of the discussion assignments is to write a paragraph or so about a date that she wanted to escape from but couldn't. My daughter is 16. She is not dating, has no interest in dating, claims she's called to singleness so not planning on ever dating. It is also not in our belief system for her to date now or anytime soon. In fact, if "dating" means one boy/one girl together alone, a couple wouldn't date until after marriage in my daughter's opinion. The only thing I can think of is for her to share that she hasn't dated nor does she plan to due to her belief system and to maybe give some other situation she wished she could have not had to stay in? Any other ideas? How beautiful and wonderful a young lady your daughter must be. And I couldn't agree more with your opinion on 'dating'. Just wanted to say how much I appreciated reading your (and your daughter's) approach to this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 For example, "Prof XXX, I want to complete your assignment, but I'm finding it hard since I have not been on a date. Could I write a fictional account? Could I write about my philosophy of dating? Could I write about another situation I wanted to escape but couldn't? How could I most closely fulfill your goals for this assignment?" That sounds like the perfect solution to me. I don't see how a professor could not agree to slightly alter the assignment for a student who truly wants to complete it. - Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Could I write about another situation I wanted to escape but couldn't? How could I most closely fulfill your goals for this assignment?" :iagree: This is exactly how I would want my child to approach this instructor. Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moni Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 It's only a paragraph, can she make up something? I'm guessing the English assignment really isn't about dating. It's probably just an assignemnt to evaluate Composition skills or something similar. Probably something along the lines of descriptive writing maybe? I had these types of assignments all through highschool (and probably Freshman Comp). I rarely had any personal experiences that were on the topic, so I just Plain Made Stuff Up. I am pretty confident the paragraph doesn't have to actually be true. . . ? . . . :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 It's only a paragraph, can she make up something?I'm guessing the English assignment really isn't about dating. It's probably just an assignemnt to evaluate Composition skills or something similar. Probably something along the lines of descriptive writing maybe? I had these types of assignments all through highschool (and probably Freshman Comp). I rarely had any personal experiences that were on the topic, so I just Plain Made Stuff Up. I am pretty confident the paragraph doesn't have to actually be true. . . ? . . . :seeya: Ah.....good point. You are probably right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 If I were the prof, I'd want to know if an assignment was causing this sort of concern for a student so I could come up with something better next time. (For the record, I think the topic is pretty silly, and I would not ask a student to write about something that personal for a grade.) I agree that presenting some possible alternatives is the best way to approach the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 I am pretty confident the paragraph doesn't have to actually be true. . . ? There is no way on this earth that my daughter would make something up without being told to make it a fictional piece. She is....ummmm....beyond honest with a VERY strict conscience about it. She wrote her professor and will likely get an answer in the morning. Thanks for y'all's help :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in VA Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 There is no way on this earth that my daughter would make something up without being told to make it a fictional piece. She is....ummmm....beyond honest with a VERY strict conscience about it. She wrote her professor and will likely get an answer in the morning. Thanks for y'all's help :) Pamela, Just wanted to mention that I have a 16 year old son. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 Just wanted to mention that I have a 16 year old son. hee hee....I'm hoping in 10 years she might decide a beau would be a good thing afterall. Talk to you then :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 (edited) Can I just say that I think that this is a weird assignment. Edited October 22, 2008 by laughing lioness spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 Can I just say that I think that this is a weird assignment. I agree....We're NOT happy with this class anyway. They have a couple small assignments like this each week and a paper or two each week also. Grades come back very slowly with very little feedback which is frustrating. Kimber has already said she doesn't wish to take the 2nd class from this professor. Hopefully having this professor won't hurt her to badly going onto the next though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 In my daughter's (college) freshman English class, one of the discussion assignments is to write a paragraph or so about a date that she wanted to escape from but couldn't. My daughter is 16. She is not dating, has no interest in dating, claims she's called to singleness so not planning on ever dating. It is also not in our belief system for her to date now or anytime soon. In fact, if "dating" means one boy/one girl together alone, a couple wouldn't date until after marriage in my daughter's opinion. The only thing I can think of is for her to share that she hasn't dated nor does she plan to due to her belief system and to maybe give some other situation she wished she could have not had to stay in? Any other ideas? First, I wanted to share that I have a 17yo ds who is also not dating and saying that it- dating/ marriage- is not part of his current goals. Second, ds is taking dual enrollment American History and there was something about voting that I can't recall at the moment. Obviously, being 17 ds isn't able to vote. Ds approached the teacher before he ever left class and they worked out an alternative. I hope that your dd's instructor will reply quickly with an adequate alternative. Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in MO Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 My daughter had a writing assignment given to her 2 years ago when she was dual enrolled at the university. They were to watch a particular R-rated film and then write something about that film (forget the particulars). DD went to the instructor and explained that she was only 16 and didn't watch R-rated films. The teacher was more than happy to give her a different film for the assignment. Teachers love to have a student come to them early on if there is a problem with an assignment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted October 24, 2008 Author Share Posted October 24, 2008 Kimberly's professor said she can adjust it however she needed. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 well my dh couldn't write that paper either! he dated me, said I was the one and proposed on our 2nd date (to which I turned him down flat in horror!) so my dh who is 35 couldn't write a paragraph about a date he wanted to excape from. I guess I could, but since we've been married for over 15 years and have 8.7 children - I think it's safe to say my perspective on that date has dramaticly changed.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 How about some other appointment....like a date with an immunization...or a date with the dentist to drill a cavity...or a date to have lunch with a wicked historical character...and just make up the events. I always encourage my dd to use a little creative license when given assignments that do not fit our lifestyle. By the way, I would have her put in a little disclaimer that since she doesn't date, she had to come up with some different plan. My dh once had to write an essay on the qualities of a hero...he wrote about his favorite sandwich...very tongue in cheek, but the teacher didn't think he understood the assignment and failed him...oy vey....The essay was hysterically funny (Yes, I read it) and was very well written. The woman had no sense of humor, so just make sure dd makes sure the teacher KNOWS she understands the essay topic. ~~Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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