Homeschooling high school and working

[HSmomof2]

Dc are 6th and 8th grade this year, and I'm really beginning to get concerned about high school for ds, both academically and socially. Last fall, I started to work 20 hrs/week (3 days/week) with a 30-min commute each way. I don't like my job, but it pays decently for a part-time job and we live in a high COL area and need it to make ends meet and allow dc to have a couple extracurriculars. I'm mostly gone to work in the afternoon/evening which means dc miss out a lot on activities after school because they can't get there. My mom does take them to the Y for classes one day/week. Her health is starting to not be so great and doubt she will be able to do this much longer. Dh doesn't get home from work until 6.

 

Anyway, I've been reading about homeschooling high school and how much harder it is. I'm already exhausted, overwhelmed and feel like we're just getting the minimum in this year. I feel like I'm not doing anything well. We're doing a virtual public school this year, and they're happy with Dc's progress. But I know I did a much better job when we homeschooled (and I could focus my time on it). Dc already complain they don't see their friends often enough, and I imagine this will only get worse as they get older. There's one private school within a reasonable driving distance, and it'd be $30,0000/yr for both dc to attend. That's not an option. Our local ps isn't great either academically or socially, and draws kids from a fairly rough area of our city. Ds spent one year at our local middle school, which was a horrible experience. He was bullied (hit/choked in class multiple times), repeatedly had things stolen (PE shoes, jackets) or destroyed (backpacks). This middle school feeds into the high school. Ds doesn't want to go back to ps.

 

I feel totally stuck. I'd love to be able to quit my job, but I can't. I am looking for something with a better schedule, or from home, or closer to home. Anything that would be better and not minimum wage, which is hard to find for part-time. I have a degree and make decent money with my current job. I'd like think I could do a good job homeschooling, but I'm really nervous about it and am afraid the reality will be they're lonely, will get a half-a$$ education, and I'll be beyond stressed. Dh is little help in this. He wants me to make the decision. Any concern I express is met with 'just send them to ps'.

 

My current plan is to do a private distance school, and a weekly co-op for science, art, and PE. We couldn't do the co-op if we stay with the public virtual school, because we couldn't count the co-op classes towards school time. With the private distance school I'm looking at, we could count the co-op classes (they are taught by hired teachers). This is all dependent on it being able to work around my work schedule, which isn't flexible at all. And, I still don't think there's enough social time with just co-op and youth group. For those who've homeschooled high school, is this really a feasible plan?

[Catwoman]

I think you can do it, Bethany.

 

Is the co-op an academic necessity, or is it more of a social outlet for your kids? (I'm just wondering if the co-op schedule will be compatible with your work schedule.)

 

Will there be anyone available to supervise your kids while you're at work? Are they good about getting their schoolwork done when you're not at home?

[regentrude]

I have always worked, at least 20 hours, while homeschooling, and gradually increased work hours and responsibilities as the kids got older. I have to be out of the house every day for part of the day to be on campus, but can work some part of my time at home on prep, grading etc.

My kids were invested; we had made it clear that our ability to homeschool them relies on their cooperation and that they would have to return to school if we could not make it work. We eliminated unnecessary daytime activities - I am not able to participate in a daytime coop if it does not have outstanding educational value.

I chose eclectic resources and designed my own program. If you only have to be at work three days a week, that leaves you lots of flexibility to devote a day to outside-the-home extracurriculas, for example, or to work on the subjects that require direct teaching by a parent. 

If extracurriculars are an issue, you could: look for transportation alternatives. Maybe somebody is willing to carpool. In early high, both my kids had friends who could drive and would pick them up for sports or barn etc. Look for daytime alternatives. Many music teachers are eager to teach hs students during the day and reserve the evening hours for ps students. Or find alternatives that are later in the evening so your DH can do part of the driving; many classes etc don't start until 7pm.

Social time can happen without a parent. Just because you are at work does not mean your teens cannot socialize. They can be a friends' houses, or can have friends over after 6pm once their father is home, in case you don't feel comfortable having company while you are gone. That still leaves a lot of hours to hang out.

 

ETA: It helped to be organized. We had breakfast at 7 and school started promptly at 8am. If I had to leave at 7:30am for work, the kids would work independently until I got home. Having the routine and expectation of a daily early start time in place helps a lot. If you work afternoons/evenings, you can use the morning to work on the hard subjects before you leave for work.

 

ETA: I realize that I am in a different situation because I like my job and not working would not have been an option for me. So I had not choice but to make it work.

 

3rd ETA: Homeschooling as a working parent does not mean kids get a "half-ass" education. They can get a stellar education that far surpasses what the local public school has to offer, and can go one to top colleges. It is doable.

Edited January 27, 2017 by regentrude

[GinaPagnato]

If it were *me*, I'd quit the job unless we would not be able to pay essential bills. I'd stay home and invest all my time and energy into educating my dc. I wouldn't work for the sake of affording extracurriculars. I would look for cheaper or free options, and I would spend time giving my dc social opportunities via co-ops, youth group, book clubs, scouts, etc.

 

Now, if your job is necessary for livelihood, e.g. mortgage, food, etc., that's a different story. But, hsing high school is a big job, and I know I couldn't do it without giving it my all. It can be done, and done VERY well, but you have to be all in, ime. So if you don't have to work for necessities, I would quit and work on hsing and providing the opportunities your dc need to do it successfully.

 

 

[Sharon77]

It ultimately depends what your priorities and goals are and your personality. 

 

I'm sure there are many people who work and homeschool high school and are great at it, but I was not going to be one of those people.

 

I had a fabulous part time job that paid for all the extras and was on evenings and weekends, so dh was home to drive the kids. But I am an all or nothing kind of person and I knew I would not be able to homeschool  to excellence if I stayed at the job so I quit the summer my oldest started high school. And I made the right choice. High school for me was brutal. I focused completely on academics, enrichment, sports and socialization ...... and it consumed me. 

 

My kids also turned out to be very social (they weren't as much when they were little), and the need for time with friends has been intense. But that's because I will do whatever I need to, to make it happen. They have wonderful friends and I wanted to nurture those relationships. If it had not happened, I know they would have been bitter about homeschooling. 

[Miss Mousie]

I homeschool one son and work 5 days a week (1 long day and 4 shorter ones).  DS and I work together from 7:30-10:30 on the shorter days.  For the rest of the time, he works independently until the work is finished.  Sometimes we need to put in time on the weekends to make it all work.  If we do a lab science at home next year, we will definitely be working weekends.

 

His social stuff happens on weekends.  That was the case even when he was in public school, because DH and I were both away from home 50+ hours during the week.  DS had to be in after-school care, which by itself wiped out most extracurricular opportunities; the few that were workable either had to happen just down the hall or I had to impose on another parent to do pick-up/drop-off every time - which was hard for me to ask of anyone.  So DS at least understands that his opportunities are very limited no matter what the school situation is.  I am hopeful that once he gets his drivers license his world will open up a bit.

 

I'm sorry to hear you don't like your job, but it sounds like the schedule is pretty good as far as leaving you lots of time for the schoolwork.  But I think you may all need to adjust your expectations as far as extracurriculars & such go.  If there are opportunities that are within walking/biking distance, I'd focus on those, and let the rest fall away.

 

It definitely is not easy, and in my head I whine a lot.  :leaving:   But it can be done, and done reasonably well, IMHO, if everyone understands and accepts the limitations.

 

 

 

[HSmomof2]

Thank you for the encouragement. I didn't mean to imply in my op that working and homeschooling automatically would lead to a worse education.....I meant I don't know if *I* can provide the education I want them to have if I'm trying to do both. I absolutely know some people can do both very successfully. On top of our current full schedule, I also deal with a chronic autoimmune condition that is usually under control and well-managed, but does flare under too much stress.

 

The co-op would be a lot for social reasons, with the exception of the science classes. They offer college-prep quality lab science classes taught by an experienced teacher far above anything I could teach at home. That alone makes the co-op worth it to me. They also offer two years of high school ASL and Spanish, which would also be extremely helpful to have outsourced.

 

My job is about 50/50 essential and extra. Half of my income pays bills. The other pays for educational/extracurriculars for dc. Reducing my hours isn't an option currently at the location working. Staffing is pretty much a skeleton crew already. If another position opens in another location, there is a possibility of transferring to a closer location with a possible better schedule. There's very low turnover, though, so I don't know how likely this is, but I always keep my eye on the internal job board.

[regentrude]

 I am hopeful that once he gets his drivers license his world will open up a bit.

 

 

That made a HUGE difference to my kids. DD rode at a barn 10 miles outside town and always had to find a friend for a ride or have me drop her off. DS trains in the city 100 miles away; before he had his license, we would drive him once a week, and some weeks twice, which took a chunk of 6 hours out of the afternoon/evening each time. Having a license and driving experience to do the drive himself has been wonderful. And for most teens, the drive to activities is not quite that far ;) 

[HSmomof2]

I think you can do it, Bethany.

 

Is the co-op an academic necessity, or is it more of a social outlet for your kids? (I'm just wondering if the co-op schedule will be compatible with your work schedule.)

 

Will there be anyone available to supervise your kids while you're at work? Are they good about getting their schoolwork done when you're not at home?

I'm primarily gone in the afternoon/evening two days per week, so we can do our work in the morning on those days. I do work one full day/week, and they go to my mom's house that day because I hate having them sit in the house alone all day. They are 'pretty good' about doing their work independently. Ds struggles with math and still needs a lot of help with it. I do plan for him to do DE for 11th/12th grades, and he will be able to drive by then.

 

Maybe we can pull this off for two more years (four for dd, although she's a very easy student to homeschool).

[Miss Mousie]

I should add that I am still away from home at least 40 hours/week, and that 8th grade was particularly difficult for that and other reasons (it was our first year homeschooling, and we had some attitude/adolescence difficulties).  So if you go for it next year I'd keep a close eye on the then-7th-grader in particular - self-motivation and accountability can be hard to foster from a distance.

 

Also, I think you may need to play around in your head with possible compromises.  I do not feel like we are making a stellar education for DS, but I do think it's pretty good, and that's a trade-off I had/have to grapple with from time to time.  Some things you may be able to sort out after some thinking time, but others will have to wait until you see how it's going and then adjust as necessary.

 

[Miss Mousie]

That made a HUGE difference to my kids. DD rode at a barn 10 miles outside town and always had to find a friend for a ride or have me drop her off. DS trains in the city 100 miles away; before he had his license, we would drive him once a week, and some weeks twice, which took a chunk of 6 hours out of the afternoon/evening each time. Having a license and driving experience to do the drive himself has been wonderful. And for most teens, the drive to activities is not quite that far ;)

 

OMG, you win MAJOR Best Parent points for that!  No way would I even consider it after being at work and on the road for so much of the day already!

[Miss Mousie]

I'm primarily gone in the afternoon/evening two days per week, so we can do our work in the morning on those days. I do work one full day/week, and they go to my mom's house that day because I hate having them sit in the house alone all day. They are 'pretty good' about doing their work independently. Ds struggles with math and still needs a lot of help with it. I do plan for him to do DE for 11th/12th grades, and he will be able to drive by then.

 

Maybe we can pull this off for two more years (four for dd, although she's a very easy student to homeschool).

 

Ah, this info makes it seem MUCH more feasible to me.  How wonderful that your younger one is also your easier one!  :)

[regentrude]

OMG, you win MAJOR Best Parent points for that!  No way would I even consider it after being at work and on the road for so much of the day already!

 

It is his big passion, he is competing at national level, and has related career plans. So, it was very important.

 

I know many parents of kids who are serious about music who drive to the city for instrument or lessons - there just is no instruction at that caliber locally. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Only on year one of homeschooling high school, but geesh it actually takes me far less time than it takes me with the 11 year old.  For one thing I don't have to sit on top of my kid to do stuff. 

 

 

[Miss Mousie]

It is his big passion, he is competing at national level, and has related career plans. So, it was very important.

 

I know many parents of kids who are serious about music who drive to the city for instrument or lessons - there just is no instruction at that caliber locally. 

 

I know,* but it's still a Very Big Deal in my book. 

 

 

 

 

* I don't want to sound stalkerish, but I do pay attention to your posts and have enjoyed reading your students' journeys!

[AK_Mom4]

I work 40 hours a week - 1.5 days in the office the rest from home.

 

DD15 structures her day so that she works the harder subjects when I am available and saves the independent stuff (English and history) for when I'm not there.

 

In your case, I would look at a block schedule and do the math and other challenging stuff on the days you are home and leave the easier stuff for work days.

 

As far as social stuff, DD does band class at the local high school (walking distance), a biology club on Friday afternoons, and a big variety of stuff at night - ski coach, softball, scouts. Pretty similar to her PS friends.

[lmrich]

High school is less demanding than first grade in a lot of ways. You just need to keep up with what they are doing, and you can get ahead in the summer (read the novels so you will be able to disucss them) and maybe review math skills. I would work on finding another home-school mom to pay to take your kids places so they can have something to do so you do not have to rely on your mom's driving them around.  Do you have Uber in your area? I know several families that use Uber to get their kids places. 

[kroe1]

I have always worked and homeschooled. But, in 10th, I fired myself as teacher and switched to online. I wish I had done it sooner.

[kewb]

I switched my daughter to mostly online school for 11th grade because my part time job was getting in the way. I wish I had done it sooner.

It can be done but will require commitment from your kids.

[G5052]

Same here. I've always worked, some away and some from home, and mine have thrived. Over time I was able to gradually move more of my work from home, but that still means that they had to become self-sufficient. We outsourced more and more as we went on. Mine like live online classes versus online material that they work through on their own. Then they have a live teacher to ask questions of and with some accountability over them. The teacher does the grading too. This year I'm only teaching my 12th grader physics. Everything else is outsourced.

 

The key was that I was monitoring their grades and checking on them even if someone else was doing the teaching. I did more of that early on, less as they took over and realized that they had to be responsible. By 12th grade, I watched grades, but little else. It's a process getting them to keep their own work going.

 

Both have done multiple APs and dual enrollment.

 

My son had the highest SAT in our county even among multiple nationally-ranked prep schools. He got into two selective colleges.

 

DH is disabled, so I've always had a heavy workload with the house and yard, but thankfully as the DC got older, they are able to help more.

[bethben]

I wouldn't want to leave my teen boy at home every day all day (he's a good kid, but there is also another homeschool girl in the neighborhood who likes our house and is left alone all day), but that being said, he is totally responsible to do all of his work and does it.  He is in all online classes through an online non-public school or CC classes.  I do not really supervise him at all other than giving input on the occasional paper or helping with math at times.  If I had a part time job, it would be totally doable.  My son has enough social action with his youth group since a good portion of the weekends seem to be spent doing something with them.  That being said, are your children self motivated to get their assigned work done?  If so, it's totally doable.