"It sounds like your brain is tired"

[Sarah4boys]

My husband is home every other friday, and my 6 year old son loves doing math with him.  I told DH we were working on fractions, so they played with C rods, but doing more advanced fractions than I was doing with DS.  I asked them to do a worksheet from Miquon.  After a few problems, I told DS "it sounds like your brain is tired" and my husband jumped in with a dismissive "you can still work though".  We discussed it, and DH said it was a negative thing to say, and not encouraging to try to push through.  I thought it was a statement of fact, neither negative or positive, that could be used to plan rests or increase scaffolding.  I feel like I am right, of course, but would like to know if the Hive thinks that mentioning tired brains should be banished from my vocabulary.

 

Thanks :)

[Julie Smith]

We have a teddy in our house who is called, "Zombie Frog". 

 

Often when my boys aren't at their best for brains we blame Zombie Frog for eating their brains. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

It depends.  On your personality.  Your tone.  Your habits.  Your child's personality.  His habits. 

 

I don't think that this sort of thing benefits from "banning".  I don't think that it benefits from overthinking either.  You have a way of interacting with your child that is going to be different than your husbands.  I would suggest that you let dad do things his way when he's working on math.  And you do things your way on the other days. 

[Arcadia]

I have always just said to my boys "you seem tired, take a 15 mins break get a snack and come back". In the case of my younger boy who still naps occasionally when he was 6, I just tell him to take a nap. My younger boy would say he is too tired to think which is when I tell him it is his nap time or meal time depending on time of the day.

[MerryAtHope]

We have a teddy in our house who is called, "Zombie Frog". 

 

Often when my boys aren't at their best for brains we blame Zombie Frog for eating their brains. 

 

:lol:

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited February 4, 2017 by .qp_

[mamamoose]

Well my dh works with the kids from time to time but in general he doesn't understand any of their ques for lack of attention or becoming tired. He can not put himself in any other mindset than he is having at the moment and expects our kids and our employees to be as sharp as he is when we are tired. He is almost not even human. 😂😱🤣

 

As a result I would, and often do, intervene.

[Sarah4boys]

Thank you for your replies!  My husband and I had another discussion and came to the conclusion that he would not dismiss me in front of the kids, and that the evidence from Google shows that brains can get fatigued.  I am going to work better on staying out of it when he teaches, and he is going to pay attention to tired brain cues.  And as long as I keep "brain tired" talks with DS about growing the brain muscle, and not as something insulting, DH will put up with it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

He will "put up with it"?  I find this kind of talk rather disturbing and controlling.  (Note- I don't know you or your husband at all but just what you write here.)

[wintermom]

My husband is home every other friday, and my 6 year old son loves doing math with him. 

 

With this kind of positive interaction going on, I'd stand back and let them go to it.  It sounds like the dad is doing a wonderful job. Instead of jumping in to "help" perhaps observing and borrowing some of his techniques might be a better choice.

[Rosie_0801]

Maybe the best thing to do is to place a glass of water and two protein snacks in front of them.

[mamamoose]

He will "put up with it"? I find this kind of talk rather disturbing and controlling. (Note- I don't know you or your husband at all but just what you write here.)

So there aren't things your dh does that you put up with?

[Jean in Newcastle]

So there aren't things your dh does that you put up with?

Not that I would announce to him as part of an agreement (or vice versa) which is what it sounds like you were describing.

[Guest]

I can see both sides. He doesn't want not feeling peak to mean quitting, and you want best work. I don't think you want to make a habit of quitting when not feeling peak..you want that as a cue for protein break, rest break, do something lighter, or push on.

[mamamoose]

Not that I would announce to him as part of an agreement (or vice versa) which is what it sounds like you were describing.

Well I wasn't describing it, theOP was, but I could see my husband and I having that conversation in a semi-jesting manner, in either direction. But that's our relationship, so I don't find it offensive, nor would he.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well I wasn't describing it, theOP was, but I could see my husband and I having that conversation in a semi-jesting manner, in either direction. But that's our relationship, so I don't find it offensive, nor would he.

 

My main comment was what I said first about each person forging their own relationship with their son and about not making a huge deal about things.  The second was a rabbit trail where I admitted that I don't know the OP or her dh and thus do not know the specifics of their relationship dynamics.  But that phrasing was a red flag for me.  I just put it out there for the op to think about.  That's all. 

[RoundAbout]

In my family this would be the kind of hint that everyone would take constructively. My DH knows he's not as good at reading DS's cues during academics because he doesn't work with him as often. Saying something like this would be a way of communicating that to DH without undermining parental authority or being critical. At the same time I probably wouldn't say anything at all unless I saw things were headed in a direction that might lead to a meltdown or some other kind of stressful and damaging reaction. There's a fine line between being genuinely helpful and micromanaging that's tough to walk at times.

[saffron]

I think it's normal for moms to be more sensitive and for dads to want their boys to learn to tough things out. Neither is more right or wrong, they balance each other.

 

This is why kids need a mom and a dad, and the ones who don't grow up with that duality often experience problems later in life as is well documented.

[Milknhoney]

My first thought when I read your post was, "it depends on what level Miquon book." The first two books were great for us, but after that, we really struggled. Unfortunately it took me a full year to realize it was the book and not my son. It continually introduces new concepts without any opportunity for practice/mastery. So possibly your son was experiencing genuine frustration with the problem in which case a comment on his brain function may not have been appreciated. But otherwise, I would make that comment to my son if it were something we both knew he normally wouldn't be having a problem with.

 

 

Maybe the best thing to do is to place a glass of water and two protein snacks in front of them.

 

And this too. Except that I'm the one that would have needed the snack. My husband knows not to argue with me when I'm hungry.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would be upset if my DH cut in on me with some comment  while I was teaching and I know he would be upset if I cut in on him when he was doing something with one of the kids.

 fits into treating others as I would like to be treated.......